Introduction to Lucy Van’s The Open

BUY YOUR COPY HERE

This door, this though

All doors are open in Lucy Van’s poetry. Ingress and egress are multiple, even coincident. We’ve just touched what’s here, or are about to touch it, when apprehension is quickly unsettled, halted or reconfigured. Because we’re only passing through a door or another door is opening, as the poet offers: ‘Another thought though (and oh, I think about how thought and though are very similar words)’. Hers is a liminal though. Between what’s touched and what’s yet to be touched. Site of frisson. Contention. Then insight.

The book opens to Hotel Grand Saigon: ‘I have gone back and now I am here.’ ‘Back’ is her father’s family and roots in Vietnam, opening the door to his migration history, only a peek, though (‘Never write a poem about a boat’), then opening to Vietnam’s colonial history. And now we are here where the Vietnamese staff ‘are always ready to serve’ the French and other holidaying Europeans and white Australians, and herself, the Vietnamese Australian poet ‘coming home’, though also waited on or waiting in a gift shop and unable to ask, because she can’t speak her father’s language. Van’s poetry is an ongoing decolonial passage. Each opened space and time takes to task the one just left, then comes home to the poet, her self-reflexive though pointing to her own entanglement. She’s inside and outside these pasts and presents, or presences: touched and untouched.

But is one ever untouched? The ocean passes beneath these poems and one inevitably gets wet. It’s ‘a liquidation of territory’, whether in Vietnam or in Australia, where land has been liquidated, too, by the passage of colonial ships through water. Public or personal territory, even the most intimate, is persistently liquidated. Disappeared by coloniality, modernity, progress, by growing up and outgrowing, or by an aside, this though. Or simply made liquid, flowing through the next door, only to reappear as something else at the other side before moving on again. Van’s quicksilver to-ing and fro-ing creates an insight-coaxing discombobulation. But it’s the liquidation of the poem’s territory that is the hallmark of this collection, prose poems occasionally juxtaposed with the familiar shape: that block of a poem. To accentuate the liquidation? These prose poems start as a moment flowing in interior monologue into multiple spaces and times. Then sneakily, and bravely too, they open estranging doors, so poetry starts reading like short story becoming extemporaneous discourse, erudite and interrogative, hopscotching from Foucault to Kristeva to Homer to Bishop to Whitman to Catullus to Malouf to Plath.

Each is a new door opening: this though.

Is this from the sheer force of water that wants out, wants more?

The poet’s serve is vigorous: reader hurtles through another door and is suddenly in the middle of the Australian Open. Here, ‘[t]he court is [her] discursive space’. The ‘serve is the rhetorical question’ and the return, birdsong, ‘the aggressive claiming of territory’. Or merely a wish to restore what was liquidated? Tennis becomes philosophy. The line of thought is the line of though: one is again taken elsewhere. But always she returns to family, home, the intimate, the body touched and untouching: ‘most of your life you are coming home … all the while you are leaving’. It’s when Van is in this transit on ‘A Little Cloud’ that she’s most moving, and she transcends. Like when she watches her father drink a Fanta – poet drinking him up down to ‘the lump in his throat mechanical with thirst’ – and she’s ‘transposed … to the temple’, to ‘[p]laces like this … filled with doors’.

Posted in INTRODUCTIONS | Tagged , ,

Caitlin Wilson Reviews Rebecca Jessen’s Ask Me About the Future

Ask Me About the Future by Rebecca Jessen
UQP Books, 2020


Is the future something to fear, or is it our saviour from the present? We have no idea what’s coming; we hope it’s something better, but suspect it’s only getting worse. In 2020, it is hard to be optimistic without caveats; you’re not alone in thinking of what lurks around the corner, or off in the distance, brings about a spike of anxiety. Is there still space for seeing what’s to come as a haven? Rebecca Jessen’s second literary publication but first poetry collection, Ask Me About the Future, though written in the Before Times (pre-pandemic), is a timely call to face our fears, to wade into the unknown with Jessen as our intrepid guide.

Ask Me About the Future is poetry as cartography, winging its reader through ports of bittersweet nostalgia and the rough sea of selfhood. The collection’s poems are waypoints; when followed, they reveal how quotidian occurrences and dramatic moments alike form a winding path through our lives. This churning journey whips up emotions like seafoam. The first poetry collection from Rebecca Jessen, author of 2014’s verse novel Gap, confidently, traverses the intimate, familiar spaces of beds and hometowns, suburbs and birthing suites. Gap, too, was shaped by a juicy preoccupation with connection, escape and love in all its forms, a fascination Ask Me About the Future takes up and extends. Here, Jessen’s potent sense of unbelonging, purposeful and melancholy, captures the feeling of waiting on a better world. Jessen describes these poems as ‘launch pads, not escape hatches’, a guide rail that is apparent in the collection’s concern with our propulsion into the future, as well as its refusal to sideline the past’s best efforts to tug us back down to earth. ‘11 Trippy AF Poems About the Total Eclipse’ recalls the 2017 total eclipse as ‘spying on the sun’, and suggests that ‘in the future we will look back fondly / at the pictures / and say things like / remember when / I Survived Totality 2017’.

The collection’s commitment to rocketing onwards doesn’t prevent Jessen from turning her gaze to matters of the present. A revelation of the imperfect present offsets a promise of goodness to come. In ‘triage’, the speaker says ‘there is no here. not for you.’ The future, on the contrary, appears in the collection as a place of progress and freedom. This is perhaps most explicitly explored in ‘Go Farther in Lightness’, a vision of a queer future viewed through a rocketship-shaped lens of retrofuturism. Jessen’s reflections on the past and present are the foundations from which her future imaginings sprout. Love is a major theme – familial, sexual, romantic. Jessen’s work deals with the ephemeral reality of emotions. As much as this collection looks forward, it is also a semi-nostalgic still life on past love and old family homes. Like in ‘some days’, where the speaker tells us ‘home is a big-screen TV and a three-tier cat scratcher’, and that ‘Mum’s place is like a time capsule. yet to be sealed’. Or in ‘prepare to merge’, where the central couple has become ‘the stock photo of ‘couple cooking’. ‘I keep my domestic past / folded squarely in my back pocket’, the speaker of ‘prepare to merge’ confides. ‘The Birthing Suite’ is a quiet epic, told from the perspective of an older sister as her younger sister gives birth, its sweetness and angst a perfect encapsulation of family drama. The ebbs and flows of intimacy are starkly painted, pinballing between contentment and anxiety. In ‘digging into eternity’, the speaker finds herself

at the rail underpass 
you photograph me next to the other me
but I am larger than myself here, 
where the stray cats skulk in the succulents 
and planes fly so low I can taste 
their metallic underbelly, where we kiss 
with tea-soaked tongues, and I am still learning 
the gentle ways to wake you.

Here, photography is a method of capture beyond the obvious – it splits the self into pieces, splits time into ‘now’ and ‘later’. The present is vivid and flavoured; the juxtaposition of metallic and tea-soaked a palate that distils the bittersweetness of losing yourself in love. These pieces feel crafted by a poet with skin in the game. Jessen’s authority on love and dating translates to humorous, cutting observations of contemporary text relationships and dating app woes. Jessen gives space for the unromantic romance of modern dating – in ‘(after) HER: dating app adventures’, the heart emoji is a repetitive, hollow marker between stanzas filled with txt spk, pick-up lines and winky faces, a distillation of the dating app game into the parts of its sum. (Jessen also asks the real questions here: ‘is it wrong to click ♥ because I think your Burmese is cute?’) The lived-in feeling her poetry arouses continues with her musings on twenty-or-thirty-something adulthood. In ‘The Late September Dogs’, blunt sentences are second person peerings into older-young-adulthood:

            driving cars worth more than your self-esteem.
And 
            feeling like an old soul and too young to know what life really is.

Encapsulated in these poems is the quiet drama of being young-ish, playing with phrases that bounce around social media as much as they bounce around our heads. Jessen softly satirises the language of millennials, her self-deprecation reflective of a generation (mis)-characterised by an odd combination of self-obsession and self-loathing – ‘Season 1: 12 Episodes’ begins with ‘1. My life becomes a series of consults with Dr Google.’, and ends with the pithy ‘12. My life becomes a series on Netflix no one binge-watches’. ‘Self Portrait as Index’ similarly investigates the self as a series, indexing terms with the ages to which they correlate. ‘Chronic emptiness, 18–31’ and ‘dole bludger 18, 25, 30–31 / see also underemployed’ dwell with ‘aunty 21-31’ and ‘queer 18–31/ see also lesbian; soft boi’ in this systematic, funny-sad attempt to define the self. Jessen’s poetry, romantic and otherwise, is formed and informed by queer existence, explicitly and implicitly. Poems like ‘sillage’ beautifully engage with queer eroticism, painting desire with olfactory notes of ‘black plum and aniseed / late summer / cherry’ and ‘top notes of acetone’. Queer love poems still feel radical in their own vital way, and ‘sillage’ is a gem.

Posted in BOOK REVIEWS | Tagged ,

Joel Ephraims Reviews Ashbery Mode Edited by Michael Farrell

Ashbery Mode
Edited by Michael Farrell
Tinfish Press, 2019


The presence of John Ashbery shines over contemporary literature, for many as an enigma, indisputably as a catalyst. Part of the post-World War II wave of new American poetry, his name is grouped not just alongside his contemporary poets but among their literary schools and movements: the L-A-N-G-U-A-G-E school, the New York School, the San Francisco Renaissance, the Beats, the Black Mountain poets, our own ’68ers and J.A.

With its larrikinism and easy-going feel, even, not paradoxically, but inventively, at its most serious and radically experimental, it’s not hard to see how Ashbery’s poetry has almost always been popular with Australian poets, as much as the poetry of any other international poet. It is fitting then that Michael Farrell, undoubtedly one of Australia’s leading Ashberyians, has put together an anthology of Australian responses to John Ashbery’s poems, published just a few years after Ashbery’s death.

Ashbery Mode is a refreshing and innovative addition to Australian literature and a timely and illuminating opportunity to see how Ashbery’s mode has found expression in Australian poetry across two centuries.

I will first explore that expression by looking at how some of the most successful poems in the anthology adopt some of the most vital aspects of Ashbery’s mode in relation to poetic form, self, society and politics.

Let’s start with Ashbery’s use of the meta-poetic and a strategic metonymy. Ashbery can frequently be found commenting on his poetics within poems, whether cryptically, ironically or more directly. Ashbery’s poetry, like life itself, also presents a plurality of meanings. Often certain meanings are more dominantly implied and made buoyant by background strategies of metonymy. Even so, lines are simultaneously kept open to other interpretations, like music, acting as analogous channelings for any number of experiences or emotions.

Take these lines from the poem ‘Awkward Silence’ by Angela Gardner:

This is the moment to decide what to leave behind, instead
we get biblical, no longer recognisable. Familiar text
spews from what we say is our m. (marginalia) m m.. (marginalised)
m m m...(mouths).

The use of first-person plural invites the reader to position themselves as the poetic personae. In these lines, and the lines preceding, the specific situation has been kept vague. We are forced to lean into the language. Metonymically, with allusion to the creation of text and the ‘awkward silence’ of the title, we are leant into the interpretation that we are sharing the ‘awkward’ composition of the poem. In ‘our’ moment of deciding ‘what to leave behind’ we are taken over by an upsurge of ‘biblical’ but ‘familiar’ text. The narrative voice suddenly stalls and enters a comedic B-grade horror movie death throes, achieved with an A-grade literary acrobatics.

The conflict of composition is revealed as the conflict of self, a perpetual flux of inside and outside worlds.

Craig Hallsworth’s poem ‘Dolors’ begins with a meta-poetic moment which both parodies and hyper-realises the role of influence in poetry:

          My mound was effectively to meet a poet
with connections
High up in the food chain – that is awful of me
I must admit  In any case I imagine
He would have sat right where you are sitting now

Within the collocation of its line the use of ‘mound’ suggests lot and fate. Within the wider context of the stanza it meta-poetically suggests oeuvre. The authority or sanctimony of a poet’s status or voice is playfully diminished. The personae then bitingly presents poetry as a consumerist hierarchy before opening the fourth wall to bemoan the espousal.

Like in Ashbery’s poems ‘Rain’ or ‘Europe’ from The Tennis Court Oath, the scattered form of the poem presents the poem as process rather than product, as mental-activity concurrent with the page. All pronouns dissolve into the poem’s planar treacle ego and the space of the poem becomes an all-encompassing meeting place, integrative rather than imposing:

          But then ask yourself
          What am I not
A turgid member of   Am I not every bit
As embrangled in these fatal paraphernalia    Have I not
Myself on occasion found it rather cosy   All of us
Ghouls together

In a hyper-connected world where connection is often superficial and information is often torrential Hallsworth’s, following Ashbery’s, embodiment of a collective societal identity amounts to a radical democratic maneuver which constitutes ‘a commitment to democratic communication which is a challenge to, not a legitimization of, a society which makes it increasingly difficult’ (Herd 10).

In Ashbery’s poetry discursive tones and registers are blurred and mashed. The oversaturated and constellated nature of our discursive world is simultaneously illuminated and leveled out.

Take the following lines from a section of stanza two and eleven of Toby Fitch’s ‘All the Skies Above Girls on the Run,’ a collage poem assembled with parts of lines that reference the sky in Ashbery’s book-length poem Girls on the Run:

in the comet of the lighthouses
plastic star removal continues the real message
being written in big air bubbles

how serious we are as we dance in the lightning of your rhythm
like demented souls did we outwit you

The odd collocation of ‘the comet of the lighthouses’ echoes titles of American westerns and country songs such as Riders of the Purple Sage and ‘The Coward of the County’, the collocation of ‘plastic star removal’ echoes an advertised service such as ‘chipped paint removal’ and ‘written in big air bubbles’ sounds like the simplistic awe of a child. Shift to the next stanza and we have two lines that are more uniform in register and tone, presented with a verbose Elizabethan syntax.

In Girls on the Run this intricate tapestry of tone and register, aside from being delightful, presents the complex time-warp of the present in which the innocent girls must build and position their own identities, buffeted by a barrage of pre-existing positionalities and contexts. Fitch’s collage poem distills, rearranges and crystallises this effect.

The poem ‘Cloud Cover’ by Julie Chevalier exemplifies what John Koethe has called Ashbery’s ‘metaphysical subject,’ in which the subject or personae of the poem is refracted and dispersed, ‘yield[ing] only a personality or image that is ‘other’…timeless’ and knowable only as fragmented ‘surface’ (Koethe 92). Chevalier presents us with a series of floating images:

a cloudboat becalmed
          a ghost ship sipping iced tea    floating islands in a lemon sea
waves rolling in like mountains breaking   iceberg floes    ice blocks

a monolithic baldie    a dancer    a twister    i couldn’t resist’ er
chicago daily trib clouds    buck rogers clouds in the 25th century

The images and syntax appear like incomplete mental representations of an unmediated self, directly confronting the reader. The images crackle with personality. Associational sonic jumps like ‘iceberg floes’ to ‘ice blocks’ and the surrealistic, jumbled and retro subject matter give the impression of a daydreaming mind in scatter-thought. What is brought into relief here is the sheer magnitude of mind and identity.

Posted in BOOK REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

SINGAPORE Editorial

When Cordite invited us to put together a folio of contemporary Singapore poetry, it seemed like a straightforward business. The usual suspects are called, a few new names sprinkled in for progress, a grant applied for, a spreadsheet assembled … but instead, we paused.

Contemporary Singapore is commonly represented either via national / official anthologies incorporating poetry in all the four official languages of Singapore – English, Chinese, Malay and Tamil – or in independent monolingual versions, most often in English. Over the short course of Singapore’s history, the government’s policy of promoting English as the main language of instruction, administration and business has rendered its purportedly polyglot denizens tongue-tied to a sesquilingual rather than truly bilingual or multilingual state.

We decided that our curation should thus attempt to diverge from the mainstream options – either of presenting only Singaporean verse in English, or token work from each of the four official languages. Neither is a truer representation of Singapore than the other, and both omit far more than they organise.

So for this issue, we consciously eschewed the substantial but well-represented body of Singaporean poetry originally written in English, and instead sought out voices from Tamil, Malay, Chinese and more which have not been as well circulated in the anglophone literary world. We wanted to foreground Singapore’s poetic polyphony and cacophony beyond the clipped strictures of Received Pronunciation.

To further twist the plot, we also conscripted over 30 younger poets, primarily versed in English, and gave them the challenge of transcreating these works into English: whether from a language in which they possessed native fluency; from a mother tongue they hypothetically should have been fluent in after 12 years of compulsory bilingual education but really weren’t; or from an argot they had no ability to even read, let alone understand. They navigated this process via the time-honoured combination of Google Translate and emailing the original poets for guidance and forgiveness.

Our hope is that this process has forced these talented poets to explore a language they may be more reluctant to call their own, and to pick apart their own comfortable assumptions about the line, the phrase, the word. Audiences new to Singapore poetry may get a dual sense of the linguistic contestation inherent in such a project. While most of the transcreators stayed largely faithful to their source texts, a few took liberties either of the formal or conceptual (some might call this extra-faith, or even inter-faith) nature. One rationale for doing this is to broaden notions of what poetic translations can or should do as creative works in their own right – as texts that challenge and are challenged by, grapple with, speculate on, negotiate, approximate and reimagine their sources in a variety of fruitful ways.

In curating this issue, we also sought to pry open the definitions of ‘Singaporean’ and a ‘Singaporean language’. A poem in the severely endangered Portuguese-Malayan creole Kristang, with only about 2,000 speakers worldwide, is featured, alongside works in Bahasa Indonesia, Bengali, Burmese, Gujarati and Tagalog. These poets may not all hold Singaporean passports, but they are based (or have been based for a meaningful time) in Singapore. Theirs are latter-day contributions to the literature of Singapore, which continues to evolve, alongside earlier traditions that have come to call this island home.

Special thanks must go to noted Singaporean artist Michael Lee, who kindly contributed eight artworks mapping the urban jungle that is a habitat for so many of these pieces. Sing Lit Station project managers Shalani Devi and Michelle Lee were tireless and diligent in the administration of this initiative, and the National Arts Council generously provided a grant to honour the contributors.

The 37 poems in this folio are presented with the original language poems following the English pieces. Although the reader is invited to dip in and out as they will, the poems have been arranged in a loose sequence meandering through a Singaporean day – from a city-dweller’s front door to their commutes and offices, through development and place-memories and migration, via family, via language and ending at the sea that encircles and delineates our island nation.

To conclude: we apologise for any crimes against language that may have been advertently or inadvertently committed in the course of these transcreations. In every case, we obtained the consent of both source poet and translator for the works to be published as you see them here.

We are but a ragtag Babel Alliance salvaging the tools of a post-crumbling Empire – prone to producing our fair share of Hoth-like debacles – in the faint hope of occasionally firing a proton torpedo through the odd thermal exhaust port between languages. We tried something new, stood back, and waited for the explosions … that had to be cleaned up afterwards.

Thank you, Cordite, for your patience and for letting us play in your galaxy.

Posted in ESSAYS | Tagged , , , , ,

8 Artworks by Michael Lee


Michael Lee | How Are Things (installation view with artist), 2018

My artworks are personal reflections on city living, with a focus on how space structures human thought, feelings and actions. Researching architectural heritage addresses my own poor memory of places I’ve lived in and been to, which also benefits from and spurs my own speculations of spaces to come.

From 2010-11, I created ‘Second-Hand City’, a series of architectural posters featuring fictional buildings or cities. Among them is Shishitv Tower, which narrates the life cycle of a species of building that disperses its offspring via explosion. Architecture insiders may recognise the reference to contemporary architects here, and my intention is precisely to suggest that, try as Rem Koolhaas and Frank Gehry may to profess personal style and distinction from each other, there is continuity between them. I continued this fascination with how reality rubs against fiction, sometimes in wrong ways, in Notes Towards a Museum of Cooking Pot Bay (2010-11), a large-scale mind map of notes for a hypothetical museum that commemorates the past, present and future of Telok Blangah, a neighbourhood in the Southwest part of Singapore.

While on an artist residency programme at the Künstlerhaus Bethanien in Berlin during the city’s historically coldest of winters in 2012, I was struck by the paradox of solitude as both a state of precarity and a condition for production. I explored spaces of confinements and escapes by making diagrams, including the floor plan in Bahja Caves (2013) and the sculptural outline of a treehouse in Skeletal Retreat No. 1 (2013). Diagonals (2014), an interactive wall mural bearing the hazard symbol of black-and-yellow stripes, enacts the experience of having unknowingly entered a situation without access to the exit. “Planting Building” (2017), whilst revisiting lost buildings and topiary, also throws up dilemmas of growth, training and care.

My recent projects wonder about how to communicate with others for the sake of mutual flourishing. The large-scale text installation, How Are Things (2018), harnessed the subtle colour-and-tonal shifts of holographic stickers to address Woodlands Stadium users and MRT commuters with the titular greeting. In Friendly Strangers Party (2019), 100 pennant flags revisited the words or deeds of people whose identity I never ascertained but who have touched me in one way or another.

I hope my art captures in some ways the opportunities and challenges of urban existence, and suggests fiction not just as a form of entertainment but as a mode of survival.

Posted in ARTWORKS | Tagged

A Magical Aquarium Called the Ocean | கடலெனும் வசீகர மீன்தொட்டி

A fishmonger in the wet market
wakes the Sundays, sprinkling
a little palmful of water
across the agape, throbbing mouths

of stranded male fish
awaiting breath. Bristling
with lustful desperation
they gulp for gifts—
Filled with air, unsatiated.

In another dried-up country
a female fish swims in her marital tank.
The scent of her beloved arrives
through the mobile phones
as bait on a glimmering hook.

Droplets roll upon a banana leaf.
On it, a meal of sliced fish
served from her lingering palms.
After, these palms in which wetless kisses
begin in secret to gather and swim.

The meanders of unfulfilled thirst
take their course in the arc
of the thrilled body, springing streams
of sweat along scale edges.

Between the two countries
is an alluring fish tank.
Here, the unending ocean.

Posted in 99: SINGAPORE | Tagged ,

We Speak to the Fish in our National Language | 我们对着鱼缸说国语

Facing the fish bowl, I speak the national language1:
each vowel, a gust upon glass;
each accent, a mosquito’s unsteady dance.

From my watch’s face, each second, turbulent, rises like smoke.

The English of the 50’s was but a colonial tongue.
Thinking of our national language, we’d speak Malay.
But by 1965, what was it? English? Malay? Both?

Smoke clouds roll and swallow the map.
Where can we hope to live in peace?

The Federation. Straits Settlements. Malaya. Malaysia.
Taiwan. The Republic of China.
Temasek. Singapura. Singapore.
Please, repeat after me.
This is my home country – Home. Country.
You have your own national language, as do I.
Our tongues roam free – they are by no means bound.

We sit about a round table, practicing the national language.
The fish, in their round bowl, pout the way all goldfish do.

They are like the snakes in our mouths, these writhing tongues.

Occasionally, our lips, too, are round –
when they are
they are fishes they are languages they are Bahasa Melayu they are Ü;
when they are not
they are ikan2 they are English they are Inilah Singapura3.

Posted in 99: SINGAPORE | Tagged ,

Heart | হৃদয়

a heart rendered
like wax, to
insignificance,
to giving up–

a heart rendered
like time, an
amnesiac, spaced
in uniform–

a heart rendered
like love, saying
hello, a teaspoon
of honey–

a heart rendered
like current, in its
own course, feeding
to ocean.

Posted in 99: SINGAPORE | Tagged ,

Our home ocean | எங்கள் வீட்டுச் சமுத்திரம்

I had transmuted all my opinions
into smooth stones
in the fishtank
in the living room.

If the price is right,
Lalitha said, we can buy an ocean.

That Sunday, we both went
to the shop that sells oceans.

For the price of a month’s rent,
said the salesman, you can own
an ocean that comes with full moon waves.

My wife and Lalitha were delighted
to have bought the ocean.

Our cat kept
glowering
at the ocean.

Cha! Saturnine ingénue,
what does it know?
I said.

The Sanitation Officer
inspected the ocean and left.

It was not on his list.
We can buy a tortoise next,
I told Mother.
Mother objected;
like a statue of Krishna
playing his flute,
a tortoise destroys a home.
Everything would be swept away.

As sunlight disperses
on the surface of the water
like bread ripped to pieces
by fish, whales and tortoises,
our home ocean lies
balled up in hunger.

Posted in 99: SINGAPORE | Tagged ,

A Mother Is a Poet | Ibu Adalah Seorang Penyair

In a mother there are two creators:
one a devotion spoken to her children,
the other a conduit for them
as she raises her palms,
reaching to the heavens
in search of the divine wire
at the cost
of her beating heart.

How her children
fall deaf to her pleas.
They muffle it with
thunderous play
until the distance
between them and her
becomes an open circuit.

A mother remains a conduit
until the storm takes her away.

Posted in 99: SINGAPORE | Tagged ,

I’ll Come Back Later | ခဏနေ ကျွန်မ ပြန်ခဲ့မယ်…

Stop setting me alight with that look on your face.
Please just leave me alone.
I’ll come back later.

You have no idea
How I collapse into madness,
How my marrow melts and evaporates,
And how a tempest forms in my mind
When my breasts become stiff and ache.
You can’t read me through and through. You are just a man.
You don’t know all about mothers. You are just a father.
Don’t worry; I’ll come back later.

His scent wafted from my uterus to the end of the universe.
His music traveled from his first breath to my last.
All my dreams were about him.
And he was a beacon of hope.
Now the farmland of my future, like my uterus, is desolate.

What kind of sound did the life I strummed like a guitar make?
What kind of mineral crushed my fetus—my flesh and blood?
The destiny with my name on it is a wasteland.
I have gone mad. I need answers to all these questions.

When I want to scream until my soul shatters
Or when all the veins in my body burst and weep,
I will gently rock the cradle that I made for him.
Or I will push his teal blue pram alone.
I will hum some lullabies.
I also have a pair of pink socks I have to finish knitting.
I will recite Homer’s Greek myths.
And I will draw the picture of his newly sprouted incisors
That I never had a chance to soothe.

Son, I watched every centimeter of your growth.
I watched with delight.
I could build a whole new world with traces of your existence.
I…I…Oh, I…
Don’t worry; I’ll come back later.

Posted in 99: SINGAPORE | Tagged ,

My House | Rumahku

through spaces & slits

breath, spirit, longing shelter

seeks
no reward

I fashion this prayerful
footstool

to sweat on
so they’ll know a love

weathers
crash & swelter

my house a place
best fashioned
mine & my heart

mama

papa
bless—

what’s treasure got to do with anything?

Posted in 99: SINGAPORE | Tagged ,

Left | 左边

After Wislawa Szymborska

I like the morning-sound of ground coffee beans.
I like the symphony of leaves in light rain.
I like the delight of an unexpected friend around the corner.
I like watching expressions over opening lunchboxes.

I like looking back.
I like windows with views.
I like silhouettes, but not shadows.
I like speaking to people older than me, except when they are children.
I like humanity’s complexity, but not its cunning.
I like when the few are led by the many,
but not when many impose upon a few.

I like the in-betweens.
I like being left more than being right.
I like when someone admits they don’t know the answer,
but not when they say there is only one answer.

Posted in 99: SINGAPORE | Tagged ,

Amnesia | 失忆症

You don’t need to try again, doctor, really
I honestly can’t remember – What am I?
Address? Where do I live? Hold on –
Ah! I seem to recall, I live in
those clothes, my son’s clothes, other people’s
sons’ clothes. There are a lot, I always wash them
Hold on a minute please, my son’s crying, ah!
This boy, since he was four, his father
has been tracking his progress from a portrait on the wall
these clothes, I live in them, but
then the fire came and drove us out. Ah, no—
That’s not right. I live behind, right, yes,
and they live in front. I don’t dare to go there because
that woman will strangle me—with her eyes
she’ll choke me with a silk band. Her voice, building up
cold, a wall, keeping us apart, me and
my son. But those flames are coming
they’re so unreasonable. My neighbour walks
shouting for me to run. Doctor, please come quickly
help me get something, that suitcase, that
kettle, yes, that one. And here,
this pot, hurry up, Doctor, it’s too late.
The fire was set by the homeowner, I’m sure of it
I’ve owed him rent for so long, it must end, all of it
all the begging, my landlord believes so,
I want to hug my son, he’s crying, but
oh! I’m mistaken, that’s not
my son, he’s not tall enough, sh!
He wants to help me dry the clothes, Doctor
but, I wash the bucket of clothes, and I turn around
and he’s taller than me. He hangs his clothes
saying he can fly. Clamp, and that piece
it flies, and you have to compensate. But I don’t
see how he flies. He just walked in
that door, the one made of glass, and then
gave me a whole load of hope. Uncle
look again, what is he saying now, can I trouble you
I don’t know how to read, Uncle, ah, no, Doctor. Please
don’t ask me again, I can’t quite remember, it’s too vague
the door was so thick and the aircon so cold. He walked over,
he finally came home, I know. Because that woman
isn’t coming home, her skin is too sensitive
in my room, there’s bacteria
my granddaughters said so. They’re adorable, my son’s
daughters. They never once let me touch them,
their clean little hands. So I know, Doctor
he finally came back. My son, it’s him.
My relatives and neighbours said he’s here
their eager eyes pry him out. It’s really him.
Him, and he brought a gift too, a foreign brand
– my daughter-in-law and my granddaughters. It’s so cold
the aircon. Thank you, Doctor, that’s much better
if you were just my son. If I just
had a son, that would be good. But I don’t have
an address. Where do I live? Someone’s knocking
Doctor, why don’t you open the door? Someone’s there
I heard it, it must be him, he’s finally back
since he was small, he was always so sensible, my son
he came over and handed me the dry clothes
came over and gave me hope to hold in my arms
now, Doctor, look, he’s coming over
he said, he said she said, the house is too small, next weekend
they want to take me there, where it’s so warm, that
old folks’ home. But, Doctor, no
that’s not my home. They made a mistake. But
they’ll come and chase me, like that fire, so
I went to look for my son, he was gone
then, I forgot where I live.
What am I? Let me think, hey,
I remember my name. My name is
garbage, yes, garbage, useless. I heard
my name, floating, from those gentle, sweet
lips. I remember, I remember who I am, but
really, I can’t remember anything at all, Doctor.

Posted in 99: SINGAPORE | Tagged ,

Dust | Debu-Debu

How do I tell a story to all
of the uninvited dust
that momentarily comes and dwells in the crevices of my life?

Will my question be answered
as the wind holds its tongue,
quietly sprinkling dust across the earth?

Dust…
Are you the rubble of civilisation that vanishes over time?
Or young tears hungry and thirsty for peace and beauty?
Or stains of greed that steep into the bones of the destitute?
Or remnants of lust from red lanes and their houses?
Or are you the reminder of my death?

Posted in 99: SINGAPORE | Tagged ,

Soil of Purpose | மண் பயனுற

Do away with plastic flowers
Spray no poison in the wide field
Avoid the fruit untouched by insects
Ward off the factories’ smog
Cleave not the atom’s core
Build not on estuary sand
For the soil to prosper
There is nothing you need to do
And if guilt stabs you anyway
Ignore the building interest
But just return the principal:
Plant the shade-tree’s seed
And offer the body as compost

Posted in 99: SINGAPORE | Tagged ,

Sea Fire | Memanggang Laut

Half-light,
Sky stained violet-pink

ball of flame
explosion rolling
into the ocean.

Pink sinking runny
into burnt orange
as melted crayon,
as leaky glow stick,
setting the sea alight.

Look up: home
Constellations
like a map
to the heavens.

The stars
nothing more
than curious angels
beaming down on us

Clouds
a giant shroud
of breath
of vapour
of risen water
embracing the Earth,

like hope,
like God-language,

like perfect balance.

Like a promise
that, once broken,
would make all corners
of the earth tremble
under our feet.

Posted in 99: SINGAPORE | Tagged ,

As Long As One Tree Lives On | 只要还有一颗树活着

No more trees

Actually, this world is already indifferent to trees, but it’s just that according to the calendar,
Spring should see the valleys and hills filled with flowers, lush greenery and the joyous
singing voices of humanity……

The wind can’t find a corner to rest
This is Spring
Dusk is about thirty degrees from the horizon
Someone has chiselled a hole in the concrete floor
And has used fairy tales to nurture the sapling of a tree
And also, is feeling pleased

And the island has already lost track of a round of topics

Actually, according to a psychologist who was hurrying past, the remaining trees have
contracted severe schizophrenia, often mistaking themselves for broken lampposts, or
imagining that the falling of leaves was actually the disdainful expression in their eyes, being
hurled, like spit, at the barren land……

No more trees
With their lines of sight floating to the busy spaces
Many shipwrecked glances, shedding painful tears
Silence suddenly spreads
Their noses will soon be unable to bear these times
What more the birds

The earth holding her head in her hands, brooding

Actually, viewing earth from space, the trees are like the spines of a porcupine
defending humanity, constantly using their height to spy on the sunlight’s depth, because
the trees remember the lessons of history, and know that the sun will one day avenge its
nine brothers……

And the birds have lost track of the topic of conversation
Not knowing how long the chaos will last
The sun begins to yearn for its brothers, shot dead by arrows
All the ways of anxiety, losing one’s calm
Leaves of dry, skinny clouds hang off the branches of the trees
Distorting their life’s story

The streets are blanketed with numb houseflies

Actually, those waiting for the bus are wearing masks, and the flies are also uneasily
rubbing their noses, to dispel the unoxygenated air.

The earth is wrapped in thought
Very earnestly trying to ease the constriction in breathing
Those waiting for the bus are holding knitting needles
Weaving the stale air needle by needle into a web
Hanging it on tree branches
To mourn for those trees who’ve died of lung disease

Each perfectly straight trunk will never betray the moonlight

Actually, even though the trees know that they’ve been deceived by civilisation, still
they wholeheartedly hold to their places, deeply afraid that if they leave, it’d set off a
revolution; humans would come and use the tree trunks to manufacture stacks of paper and
print denunciations of each other……

The street is blanketed with numb houseflies
Buzzing round filling each other’s ears with sickening news
Someone took a whole pile of budget deficits and made fun of them
During a nationwide dialogue,
Ten of thousands of trees which had been cut down used their white innocent bodies to receive
the humiliation of tattooing

The posture of the trees while standing

Actually, I had never thought about the purpose of the trees’ unceasing growth, even
while watering them I did not know why we let them grow so tall; ever since the giant Kuafu
threw that club from his hands, entrusting the mission to the good trees, hoping that one
day they would lessen the distance between heaven and earth…

Each perfectly straight trunk will never betray the moonlight
Even as they work hard to heal
The difference in temperature between day and night
While waiting for the bus
Somebody glimpses a shadow
Imagining an afternoon where the leaves are swirled by the wind

History is, for a moment, left hanging

Actually, the physiology of the trees is definitely much more suited to containing
history than humans are. They don’t really cause themselves to look like they’re not trees,
nor do they deign to allow ornaments that don’t belong to them to be added to their
bodies. And they have even hanged themselves in anger, because humanity doesn’t allow
them the freedom of standing upright and looking to the distance.

The posture of the trees while standing
really puzzles the historian wearing thick black-rimmed glasses
About how to use the most precise scientific calculations
To complete each person’s powers of appreciation and imagination
When a tree’s shadow is as long as its actual height
is the sun at the 3.30 position?

As long as one tree lives on

Actually, as long as one tree lives on it is more than enough, because he will not commit
massacres, and is content to be alone. He will get along well with the wind, and humanity
will better understand dignity.

History is, for a moment, left hanging
Waiting for the seed to sprout
and successfully usher in a new era

Posted in 99: SINGAPORE | Tagged ,

as citizen, i pledge | Singapore

my apathy. bless picnics that replace tupperware
and rattan mats with glassware and grapes.

bless walking around town, not to be seen
as liability. bless the chance to afford ride-hailing
when i do not need to.

bless my unbroken, nuclei family. that my worries
only involve self-improvement.

bless strangers, visibly relieved, when i say i am
majority. bless service staff who tense when
they see my partner
and relax when i hold his hand.

bless the boy who said i would be prettier if fairer.
at least there was consideration?

bless the privilege to skip cleaning house
because i was tired. how i need not think
about when i get to rest.

bless not being the target of disgust,
to be given the chance to oppose,
to protect our friends in this country
who need protection from us.

to protect their love for a place
that does not deserve them.
mine, unmatched.

Posted in 99: SINGAPORE | Tagged ,

POME/struck | Tulala

bawlin is / the bigfeathered quill
mmm ignorance runneth over
yelling an every-word &
wound loudmouth slicey dice

bondage c/o each block of text
gift of pent-up prisonment
riddles each a safety barrier
blockade crisping shut all meaning

oozing thru these figures / of ink
delining each solitary operant / sonnet
& the treachery of the perfect prosaic
gouging thickthumbed erotic

the authority of a metaphor [&c., &c., …………….. ]

Posted in 99: SINGAPORE | Tagged ,

Untitled Poem #1

“Is my love nothing for I’ve borne no children?”
I’m with you, Sappho, in that anarchist land.

– Agha Shahid Ali


Move into a rented house in a foreign land and imagine that you are making a home.

Tie a toran on the door frame. If there is no garden, plant a Jasud and a Champa in pots. Here, you can even find a Mogra plant. In the Botanic Gardens you can see an Ashoka tree along with Orchids. Two years ago there was news of people flocking to see the bright orange flowers of an Ashoka in bloom in Choa Chu Kang. Not the tall False Ashoka that the British favoured in India, a real Ashoka. The kind they say the Buddha was born underneath. There are many large trees here. Far from buildings, far from me.

Move into a rented house in a foreign land and imagine that you are making a home.

Plant in a pot and imagine you are planting a tree. If not for your children, for yourself.

Posted in 99: SINGAPORE | Tagged

Lamppost | ল্যাম্পপোস্ট

no crowds choke the streets
the traffic symphonic
and sleek and concrete
as the city’s own citizens
as the city’s sculpted monuments
as the city’s trees
lovingly watered and pruned
as the city’s children

the cuckoo sings from
the branches
as if this city was youth
or if the city
was spring’s riot
against the world
the city’s layers riot with the pungence of my labour and i dream

i love! love? this city / call me crazy / did i forget mother / motherland / bride / child / flag /
did i / do not / forget / perpetual subway dream. interrupted. final destination. never enough.
cash in hand. unknown. alone. in this dream i am umbra / penumbra / my son is a sodium-yellow voice
papa hold my hand walk with me to the bazaar let me ride upon your shoulders touching the
sky forget i have learned to walk to run to forget you

am i / i am a city
i remain sleepless like
night i am
more than
migrant
or worker

i am a lamppost for a family

Posted in 99: SINGAPORE | Tagged ,

Lily | လီလီ

Lily flutters her long pitch-black curly eyelashes.
In the middle of the night, clusters of rainbows bloom
From her ivy-like hair, from her cheeks and from her neck.
Wearing a thin curved hem top and tight mini-jeans,
Lily serves beer…
Lily bends her body more than necessary
And gets close to her customers a bit much.
Lily mixes herself in good proportions
And cultures her own yeast with her own formula.
The pose of a shecat in pencil heels is an appetizer Lily cooks.
The fancy necklace on her milky breasts is a dish of fritters Lily prepares.
Lily’s black irises make her look like a virgin crow searching for prey.
Lily moves like a piece of meat about to be snatched by a hawk.
Lily serves beer…

Lily promotes her beer with her scent.
Lily promotes her scent with her beer.
Lily serves beer…

When Lily uncorks her sweet and gluey laughter,
The faces in the crowd that buzzes like blowflies taking off
Will turn and stare with their fiery eyes.
Lily pours her frothy giggles to be forked at and swallowed.

With her lips in disguise of red berries, Lily serves…
With her seductive smile piercing their stares, Lily serves…

Cutting up their words with her little chats, Lily serves…
Flowing down their throats and then into their arteries, Lily serves…

Lily serves like a shaggy female terrier, cutely petulant.
Lily breaks herself until she fits into a bottle and she serves…

Pretending to be uninterested in the news of homecomings,
Lily grafts herself tree to tree and she serves another beer…
Lily puts herself on a fishhook and angles like there’s no tomorrow.
Lily quips, “Life is a little bitter just like this beer” and serves another…

“I am God’s typing error.” She serves another beer…
“I am a little she-snake from the snake charmer’s basket.”
Lily serves another…

It isn’t bedtime yet…another
Nights are still falling in rain…another
Dawn hasn’t budded…
No crack of light in tomorrows yet…
There’s only darkness…

Lily serves beer.
Lily has served beer.
Lily is serving beer.

Posted in 99: SINGAPORE | Tagged ,

Bukit Panjang

a first memory
running from head to toe:

as the sun loses grace,
cheeky children return to their homes late
with a wipe of their brows and wind
playing in their ears.

in the garden alone,
a young pair of lovebirds
blush in shame.

the sigh of time draws close. in the early
hours of morning, youths arrive
in shifts. one by one,
a farm collapses, an anxious
field hears the thunder
of progress.

hills of trees are shaved free;
sweat off the backs of teenagers
becoming men. one by one,
we lose a thousand dreams
marching towards maturity.

Posted in 99: SINGAPORE | Tagged ,