Pressing the heart

Eating slow, mouth agape, I ask for mornings off and wait.

I stuff a whole landscape in my mouth—

I think that there are poems in the air,
on this apple skin,
on the porous rind of an orange,
in the slow establishing shot of a body, in sunlight,
on the shore of a beach of a planet,
in the rerun of a forgotten classic film on late-night tv,
in the flare of a nostril,
in the holding of a door, expectant,
in the light that happens when late afternoon transitions into dusk,
in the sharp pause before an exhale,
in the catch of a word in a throat,
in the town you grew up in,
in the first realisation that this is life, hey,
in the curve of the arc of a finger down to the wrist,
in the first time your hand was held with intention,
of a feeling that screams: I like to be around you,
in the way that soft plastic rips too easily,
in the dent that a body leaves in a two-year-old mattress,
in an awareness of your body in space when walking around a place and suddenly it becomes
smaller than initially felt,
in the fold of a lap of a wave,
in how we turn every little thing we say into the biggest event possible,
in the edges of my field of vision,
in textures,
in abstraction,
in a refusal of smoothness
/ in the asking,
/ and in the giving,
in the intense circularity that a finger twists a strand of hair,
in the idea of listening as a type of meeting: an event, an occurrence,
in the question: what does it mean to write a life? Or a moment?

This is the pressing of a heart

in the unconscious struggle against form,
in interpretation,
in a body being “beyond the normative codes of visual recognition,”
in stepping back, in asking, is this right, will this do?
in the winter sun, a still life, I take an image from the air,
in photographing the musicality of absence,
in the expectant wait between drop-off and development,
in the experience of a street from an angle you thought you forgot,
in the length of the space of a song you put on at karaoke,
in the fade-out,
in the plane of descent between meaning and example,
in the gap between window and curtain,
in the maddening desire for the thing that I do not yet know,
in a word on the tip of the tongue,
in lovesickness,
in entanglement,
in both shame and in joy,
in the fantasy of hips on hips, hands on hips, lips on hands, hands on hands, lips on lips,
in the fantasy of a life in which we can spend big,
in the promise of leftovers,
in your favourite tote bag,
in the feeling of a day, ready as ransom,
in translating the space between body and gesture: boundless and incomplete,
in the empty yet urgent thereness of an airport,
in the passage of time as accumulation, breathing in,
in the temporal dislocation of a Sunday,

there is no afternoon there,

in penance, like water, unable to hold, slowly apart of you,
in the feeling that yes! my new medication is working,
in explaining the dynamics of a dream and in the crucial action of it all,
in the afterimage of a face, left for a few more seconds where it once was,
in taking the best bits of a daydream and turning them into warm syllables,
in the silhouette of a body living, nothing more,
in getting a bruise from sitting too tightly cross-legged,
in reading a novel that makes your brain go zap,
in imposing on motion the human meaning of what it feels to be ill,
in developing a personal style,
in the feedback loop of an algorithm that knows you too well,
in that decade-long friendship you found online,
in the favourites photo folder in your phone (an archive)
in that out-of-time period of childhood where years folded into days,
in fresh bread,
in every absurd pattern, seldom spoken,
in that profound yearning for both release and submission,
in seeing and believing, an exit strategy, a graceful knowing.

I know, I know. In my head, in my art, I want to be ready.

A thing of ease,
a way of easy being,
a pressing of the heart.

Posted in 110: POP | Tagged

Change and Smokes

I.
The one time Janis Joplin went straight, she went all the way home to Port Arthur, her parents and stenography school. No speed, no booze, no singing. Her mother sewed a wedding dress. Janis scraped her hair back into a neat bun. Her hand shook whenever she smoked a cigarette.

II.
At 16, I’d go out in Mum’s old suede coat with the faux-fur collar. I’d smoke Marlboro Reds—the brand Janis held in the picture I cut from Rolling Stone. A $5 semi-permanent through my hair, I’d swig cheap vodka cause I couldn’t stomach Southern Comfort. Sitting on the kerb, I’d sing ‘Trouble in Mind’—the version where you can hear a typewriter in the background, bashing like a drummer who can’t find the beat.

III.
After high school my skin turned translucent like sausage casing. It took two weeks then I was raw and pink. I tried to go about my life but it was difficult when I looked like a carcass hanging in the meatworks. 55

IV.
My grandad worked in the Gladstone meatworks. When he enlisted, the army gave him a glass cyanide pill to break between his teeth if the enemy captured him. They never did so he brought the pill home and hid it under the floorboards. When he went into care and we sold his house, I forgot to look for it.

Posted in 110: POP | Tagged

COWGIRL CENTURY

A tribute track for the Topp Twins


nobody can be afraid of you if you are good enough at yodelling
they will be too perplexed by those mesmeric ululations
to scorn the shaggy mullets traditional to our people
the flannel check and denim and the hankies that dangle
from the back pockets of the country’s best-beloved bumpkins
line-dancing over a stage strewn with camping detritus
to lead us yeehawing into the century of the cowgirl…
Belle and Belle and Ken and Ken
hand in hand on the picket line,
untouchable, touchable, we burn easily
but we are bloody gorgeous
parading in our many splendid genders,
fondly parodic as the rural tearooms’ toilet signage
of cartoon sheep in striped ties or polka-dot frocks:
ewes, rams, mixed flock…
the fringes swish on our wedding-satin western shirts
as we romp through a country of treacherous nostalgia,
the rose-tinted redneck fantasy
gentling the herd to trot along with us,
drag kings chugging stubbies
with the shearing gang at Showgirls…
sweating under stick-on moustaches
while awarding the A&P show cup for best bull
as rodeo boys in wrangler jeans
make out behind the bales of hay…
there sure seems a lot of us are turning out this way…

Posted in 110: POP | Tagged

a small letter to history

dear brad

i’ve been told the 1950s make a great hiding place, neither windy nor cloudy, perfect for travel by bike. even the font size on billboards is bigger. there is also loads of alcohol & low-priced cars. some germs can cross kitchen counters in less than an hour. how fast can you get here? just kidding. what i mean is how do you get people to like you when yr wearing plaid golf pants & deliberate planet-blank-face? sorry not sorry. now that the doomsday clock is 90 seconds to midnight, i constantly collide with not keeping my mouth shut. i wish i were different. jokes, dear brad. the moon says I don’t have to be a woman just because history says so. what is visible romances, what is unseen attempts sensibilty. knitting dung coloured sweaters to match the shade of twilight kangaroos on yr golf course? crush me now. i’m a middle-aged poet not a mute spectator. a goddess with an android in my ethical shop tote bag, i birthed time from a fever dream while high on lsd in paris in 1964. my mind is a landmine. my boobs? starting guns. i fold temper into your tie #stranglehold. like one of eight moons in cold pressed paper, i contain multitudes. can   you   feel    the    negative   space     betw e  e  n       u  s
e  x   p    a    n     d    i      n       g           ?




NOTE
This ekphrastic poem is a response to artwork by Alexandra Baxter, I Know How You Must Feel, Brad (2021). ‘what is visible romances, what is unseen attempts sensibilty’ is a line from Baxter’s artist statement.

Posted in 110: POP | Tagged

Punk Is Here To Pop Your Bubble

1-2-3-4!
Punk is coming.

It’s 1975.
And we are 10.
And we are ready for it.

It’s 1976.
And Punk is here.
And now we’re Punk and we say fuck.
[under our breath

We say fuck Fernando.
And the fucking drums and guns in the number one spot for fourteen fucking weeks.
[it’s enough to make me almost cry
while spite drying the dishes
wishing those cannons would blow ABBA sky fucking high

It’s 1976.
Fuck the Bay City Rollers. And their tartan.

We want Punk.
And anarchy.
[we don’t know what anarchy is but it sounds dangerous and
angry and we are angry inside and we
like the hard angular shape the word makes in our head
like the name of our town
broke broke broke broke
broken Broken Hill

It’s 1977.
And there’s no money for records.
[there’s no fucking fun
you’ve been fucking cheated
of all the fucking fun

It’s 1977.
And we’re broke broke broke in the Silver City.
[in this city there’s a thousand things you can’t afford to do

But we can read the music charts.
And see that the S-asterisk-X Pistols are still unfairly number two.
[with a blanked out title but we know which song

It’s 1977 and Daryl and Marcia are the King and Queen of Pop.
It’s 1977 and fuck the Dirge of Kintyre.
It’s 1977 and thank fuck for The Saints.

It’s 1978.
And we’re Punk pretenders.
[we’re too afraid
to show we’re Punk
we cover our tracks with the Punk-adjacent

It’s 1978.
And we have spike resistant hair.
[our father’s Californian Poppy sends us back to the 1950s

It’s 1978.
And we want to paint our bedroom black.
And dye our hair black.
And be like Patti Smith.
[and that’s not going to fucking happen

It’s 1979.
We’re closet Punks.
We stick a TV Week Boom Town Rats poster up when no-one else is home.

It’s 1979 and London is calling us on a Sunday night.
It’s 1979 and The Clash are jammed.
[on Countdown
in between the Bee Gees and the Electric Light Orchestra

It’s 1979 and Iggy Pop is bored on Countdown.
[we’re bored with Countdown

It’s 1979.
Yes you can go to the school dance.
No you can’t dress fucking Punk.
There’s no fucking money for Punk clothes.
[in broke broke broke Broken Hill
fuck your shiny disco pants bought in Adelaide
but i love their shiny disco pants bought in Adelaide
and i’m dance dance dancing to Donna Summer

On page 56 of the high school magazine there is a photo from that night.
Three girls.
You’re the one dressed Punk.
[you’re wearing a hand knitted vest from the op-shop
A FUCKING HAND KNITTED VEST

You’re wearing a sign.
A fucking sign.
[it says Baby Punk

The sign is attached with a novelty nappy pin you’ve nicked from home.
The sign might as well say kick me.
[KICK ME!

But you’re not kicked.
You’re not kicked because you’re there with the two coolest girls in your year.
[they look so fucking cool

They look like Christine McVie and Stevie Nicks.
And there’s you.
With your badly cut fringe.
Blowing a bubble gum bubble.
[POP!

And some-fucking-how.
You’ve ended up looking more like Ian Curtis than Johnny Rotten.

It’s 1979 and you’re too late for Punk.
It’s 1979 and you’re post-Punk and you don’t even know it.
It’s 1979 and you don’t look happy.
[but at that moment you actually are happy
you’re Autistic
you just don’t know it yet

[let’s just call it your resting Punk face

It’s 1979 and New Wave is coming.

It’s 1980.
And New Wave is here!

It’s 1980.
And you’re 15.

It’s 1980.
And now you’re really fucking ready for it.
No. You’re not fucking ready for it.
[your life is the same
as it ever fucking was

***

Image: “Three Girls at the School Dance”. The Quondong Magazine, 1979: Broken Hill High School.
An image of Susie Walsh and friends dressed in punk clothes.

Posted in 110: POP | Tagged

Tate Cartoon: I Don’t Care! I’d Rather Sink Than Call [X] For Help!

after Roy Lichtenstein

We stood in the airless gallery with dozens
of others in front of Drowning Girl.
I could feel sweat against the linen of my shirt,
wanted to shift his hand off my hip.
Don’t you think this work is kind of crass? he said.
I didn’t want to talk about the subject matter—
men causing women misery—
just enjoy the thick lines and bold colours
with detachment. The Ben-Day dots made her skin
look flawless, framed by her whirlpool of hair.
Earlier in the gift shop, I read that Brad
wasn’t always absent:
before Lichtenstein cropped the image,
he was in the background holding the catamaran
while she dealt with a cramp in her leg.
I didn’t allude to the fact that the artist’s
first marriage was dissolving as he painted it.
As we walked silently towards Blackfriars afterwards,
we were the clichéd ones,
thought bubbles stacked above our heads.

Posted in 110: POP | Tagged

Launch Title Affirmations

After reviews of The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild by Arthur Gies, Peter Brown, Jose Otero and Jason Schreier.


I am almost overwhelming right from the start.
I have enough holes to instill a real sense of mystery.
I am a pillar of smoke above palm trees in the distance.
I am both a return to form and a leap into uncharted territory.
I am an oyster full of really angry monsters and ancient death machines.
I am a little more loose and a little more immediately rewarding.
I am under-equipped for the space you’re in.
I am the implied promise that if you can see it out in the distance, chances are you can eventually reach it.
I am the time lost getting back to where you were.
I am full of emergent opportunities to push your basic understanding of the world and its rules.
I am probably going to die a lot, honestly. Often without much warning.
I am empowering special abilities that will improve your chances to survive.
I am playful piano melodies and ambient sounds of wildlife.
I am an unintentional effect of the game’s code.
I am a frequently stunning, consistently striking visual achievement.
I am walking toward one goal only to see something enticing in the distance.
I am huge, but never empty. I am vast, but never random.
I am a disastrous, society-ending war.
I am triggering bliss and excitement in equal measure.
I am awash in wonderment and perhaps guilt for living a life steeped in modern indulgences.
I am constantly learning in the face of unforeseen challenges.
I have meant to represent a grander topography.
I am thrown completely open to you.

Posted in 110: POP | Tagged

The members of *NSYNC are absorbed inside The Garden of Earthly Delights by Hieronymus Bosch and sing the song ‘Pop’ but it sounds haunting and weird like that recording of the butt music from Bosch’s painting: a triptych

I
Like a poet, like a sucker, I am married to the source-code of language
Hoovering up etymologies and then regurgitating them ad nauseum like a debate captain in an American high school movie
According to Webster.com
According to the dictionary
According to the cockney rhyming thesaurus
According to Urban Dictionary.com
According to the hysterical horny boring orgiastic masses with bloody asses
Accordingly I must recount the scintillating origin story of the band name *NSYNC
The name refers, according to some admittedly rudimentary googling
To Justin Timberlake’s mother’s assessment that the band were so ‘in sync!’
The letters also derive, haphazardly, from the names of the five singers:
JustiN, ChriS, JoeY, JasoN, and JC
But what of the *? A careless elision? A bold statement?
* represents an absence, which is made to emphasise the non-presence of the letter ‘I’, which is coincidentally (or not) the first-person pronoun — the self
Which perhaps refers to a silent sixth member of the band (you?)
Or perhaps an ecstatic sublimation of the self, necessary to the creation of a united and harmonically/melodically gifted band such as late-90s pop creation *NSYNC
Which is sometimes stylised NSYNC where the asterisk disappears and is replaced by literally nothing
What’s worse? A conscious uncoupling or a bitter divorce of the self?
Or being the kind of wanker who invokes Derrida to talk tween idols of the 90s?
When * was a kid, the part in The Witches by Roald Dahl that * was most scared of was when the little girl gets trapped in a painting by a witch for eternity
And in a movie: when Alice goes beyond Wonderland then gets home – but is trapped in the mirror-world and no one can hear her or see her
It suggests there is no worse hell than being trapped inside someone else’s artwork or fantasy
But all * want is to be trapped inside someone’s artwork or fantasy
Like what a trip? * think that love can pause us like in a haunted mirror
Like a mummy being embalmed
Even if * look disgusting and shrivelled * am forever immortal in your gaze
But anyway this is not the story of * or me or love or my fear of death
It’s the story of *NSYNC becoming trapped inside a painting by a late medieval/early modern painter named Hieronymus Bosch

II
According to the lyrics of ‘Pop’ by *NSYNC pop is about respect
It doesn’t matter – right now Justin Timberlake pulls open his pleather overshirt to reveal a naked woman’s legs emerging from the split of a mussel shell embedded in his chest
All that matters is Joey Fatone’s dark brown hair with ice-blond highlights and the strange praying mantis–style hand motions the five members do in the dance break – they writhe on the ground like snakes humping, they are naked and riding on the backs of birds, they are plucking peaches from trees
Do you ever wonder why?
And everything is a flesh paradise – pink tents made of skin everywhere and cool pools of water and clusters of trees
When your body starts to rock?
And the member of the band who * don’t know the name of is wearing a sheer tight shirt and pleather pants with a lace-up fly and he is sitting with a woman inside a bubble that is being blown by another woman
And Lance Bass is there too, or the artist currently known as Lance Bass, * believe he changed his name at some point
Baby you can’t stop my further googling: *NSYNC’s first album, the predecessor to Celebrity, which featured ‘Pop’
Was titled No Strings Attached, a name that evokes several associations, including
Puppetry, and the iconic wooden Pinnochio who pines (pun intended) to be a real boy
The idea of having a no-strings-attached tryst, i.e., intimacy and sex without commitment
And also the idea of being free from external influence
These associations being somewhat ironic considering the unreality of being in a pop band and the manufacture of such an outfit
The kind of adoration and boyfriend-able appeal of the clean-cut members
And that the record involved at least fourteen producers responsible for most of the megahits of the decade
Inciting critical pressure for the band members to be more involved in the next album’s production
And right now everyone is gnawing on giant glistening berries and dancing and their selves are collapsing into unrepentant hedonism juice dripping down their chins
Justin Timberlake is named as a collaborator on the songwriting of ‘Pop’ and based on the audio seems to be the only member of the band singing?
One voice layered over itself eternally
And the music’s all you got
And the music’s all you got
And the music’s all you got

Man *’m tired of singing
Man *’m tired of always writing about myself
What happens when you are trapped inside your own artwork?
And the artwork is a self-portrait or a series of them?
What happens when you leave the mirror world… only to be caught forever entranced by another mirror?
How can * elide the * or the you or the me that is also you?
Mmm MMM *NSYNC trapped in a hellscape by an artist from 700 years ago
A hellscape that’s so frightening it starts to be normal
The implied third part of the triptych (III)
It’s an illustrated dictionary and every definition describes torture
And has a picture of an implied * screaming
From which you can now intuit that this must be
*
And the birds are eating the members of *NSYNC
*
And they are erased letter by letter

*N
          S
                    Y
                              N
                                        C
                                                  ? ? ?

Posted in 110: POP | Tagged

The Ballad of Nan & Pop

Pop’s a plodder.
Pop’s a plodder from wayback.
There’s an art to plodding.
You start at A. You see B.
You take your sweet time getting there.

Nan’s a sprinter.
She’s off her marks and getting set
While Justin’s halfway through a dream.

Nan is porridged and foraged and lacquered and snacked.
Head down and bum up in the garden.
She hardens.

Pop’s preparing his affairs,
on a chair in the sun.
He’ll be there “Drekly.”
He’s on a cruise. He’s having a snooze.
He’s in a meeting with the paper.
Liaising through marmalade.

Nan is gloved and shoved,
fingers deep in mud.
She’s legs spread and trimming.
(the shellbacks are winning).
“BLOODY SODS OF THINGS!”
She’s topping up water for birds,
and tearing her shirt.

Nan needs little.
Pop takes little.
It’s their blooming lot.
Hey diddle!

Nan grows. Pop mows.
Together they keep light and shade.
Pop softens. He’s ready for tasks.
He won’t find out if he doesn’t ask.

Pop’s in trouble.
He’s burst Nan’s bubble!
She’s had all morning to prepare this speech.
Pop’s in deep.
He’s off down the town.
Nan’s a-frown.

Justin’s in between.
He knows what they need.

He’ll help Pop shop.
And parry with Nan.
He knows not the plan.
He just wants a cool time,
and the sun on his spine.

Mum isn’t here.
This isn’t her scene.

Posted in 110: POP | Tagged

Marilyn Pursued by Death

after Rosalyn Drexler, 1963

LOS ANGELES TIMES
AUGUST 6, 1962
MARILYN MONROE DIES; PILLS BLAMED



silver (screen) poisoning // skin bleached by pop toxins
Warhol injected direct into the veins

the only blonde in the world
100% chemical on cryogenic canvas
supergelatinous acrylic midnight

plastic autopsies & ekphrastic obituaries
on thoroughly modern kitchenettes
crucible-eyes on the kitsch-hunt
popism // stop drop & shopism
if you too want to be bleached in deluxe AmericaTM

paparazzi pulsars emitting radiation publicising
their nuclear age bombshell // facsimile stasis
face that could launch a thousand bomber planes
over Hollywood // presidential wet dreams

Museum of Modern Marilyns (MoMM)

making money is art
making money is Marilyn
making Marilyn is art
making Marilyn is money

LOS ANGELES TIMES
AUGUST 6, 1962
MARILYN MONROE DIES; PILLS BLAMED
MARILYN LIVES FOREVER IN SILKSCREENS



death will come and will have Her eyes

Posted in 110: POP | Tagged

fellas, it was so gay

ngl God, when you said you’d answer my prayer,
I was picturing a cruise full of “straight” guys with heavenly jawlines and nine inches of uncut glory
sucking each other off, rising again,
then turning toward me in hunger

that’s what I meant by “please Lord make all the men gay”

but I get it, You work in
metaphysics, not materials science
and you’re the one who invented the Divine Masculine in the first place
then said “oh shit” and considered a second draft

I really appreciate Your openness to feedback, and Lord,
I love how you‘ve taken my idea and run with it
replacing every man’s essence with one whose masculinity is
kinda wonky, trashcore, so obviously gay
it doesn’t depend in any obvious way on who he fucks

yass Lord, give me gay men
who flaunt the beauty of their bodies like a beaded garment
who sing and dance and paint and crochet about their feelings
who kiss each other on every part of their being
and don’t even have to fuck men to prove themselves (necessarily)

give me gay men who cleave close with their husbands
and gay men who love their wives, not as the wolf loves the sheep, nor as the shepherd loves the sheep,
but as the sheep loves his fellow sheep
let all men cry for their lovers
let them cuddle their cats and their dogs and their daughters and their sons
without the slightest fear that it will make them gay
for they know in their hearts that they always have been
hallelujah amen

Posted in 110: POP | Tagged

A Meme Enters The Group Chat

And is met with a laugh react. Is categorised: dank; cursed; fire; WTF. Is propagated onward and into the algorithm. Reshare. Repost. Here, take up space inside my camera roll. Become familiar with thumbprint and doomscroll. Shorthand for apocalypse, for mood, for counterargument. An augment. Digital real estate and a drag king named Costa Livin’-Crisis. Split screen. Add gamespace to appease ADHD. Book’s end. Shows are cancelled. But virality is a feedback loop, consuming cells. Hearts, pressed. How conclusion is not a word we use for billions of voices in communion. A job is not a home. A dating life is not a living. But they can be, with the right lighting. String code and fairy lights. The memes become a complexity of being. If they are an onion, which is the secret lair. All things interactive, interact. Burn CDs by putting them in the fire. Dial up by increasing the thermostat. Surf by laying perfectly still except for that which is prehensile. If x = eating a clock and coming back for seconds, then z = laughing at a cricket called Harold. Do not mention The Minions, how this microbial legion boomer and boom. Ok computer: duct tape fruit to a wall, to your mouth. Delusion is a French vanilla fantasy. Sparkling anxiety from a region of we, yes. Drink water and stay hydrated as you suffer. If you’re cold then they are cold too: the meme gestures to a collection of horrors dreamt up by Hieronymus. Eldritch my WAP. The kitten tells us that all income is disposable if you’re fun and irresponsible. A Rick Roll on an ogre’s scroll, written upside down. Spelt poorly. How the experts warn us about screen time before bed. They just want the fast Wi-Fi all for themselves. Moth has entered the chat. Man in flannel, looking back, permeates within the distract. Leo’s smug grin, answering the rhetorical. We are born in the wrong generation, working 40 hours a week instead of hoarding gems and eating raw fish. Self-adhesive chest wig. There are two wolves inside of you and the deer population is causing your ecosystem to collapse. Yes, Virginia. When life gives you lemonades, lmn. You’re a little late: I’m already worm. Spirit Halloween costume packs where you fill in the blanks. Or the blank is your unfinished manuscript. The terror. Yes, Nancy does practice The Kraft. Macaroni. Macaroon. Meccano. With the chicken strips. UNHhhh. Spend less on brunch and more on time travel. That way you too could buy a house. In 1969. Llamas in the fog. Modern rice. Ask yourself: how can I make the final season of civilization all about me? Frog, but not that frog. Sometimes, all you need are rich parents. Stop trying to make _____ happen. And the bytes contract, expand. We cannot point to a location on the map and say that is where it will end. Instead, posting irony until post-irony becomes self-aware. And as the world burns, a dog stands up on its hind legs, walks toward the camera and says Look at me, I’m a human. I pay taxes. I have depression.
Posted in 110: POP | Tagged

American Cheese (1994)

I like Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, especially the cartoon shapes like Animaniacs, but my friend loves Velveeta because it looks just like the commercial — like waves of flowing yellow lava, like Jello pudding, except cheese. I find Velveeta cheese gross. Why does it taste like plastic? Why is it gooey, like snot? That friend also has the Kraft American Cheese slices, the kind in individual pieces of plastic you have to pick and peel at awkwardly with your fingernails to unwrap. Mom refuses to buy Kraft American Cheese slices because they are too expensive, my four siblings and I will eat them too quickly. When I’m sleeping over at that friend’s house and I get hungry in the night–I am always hungry in the night, and in the day too–I go to my friend’s fridge, snatch a slice and then sit on the toilet. I fold the cheese into tiny squares I pop in my mouth, one by one. Imagine myself a small, organised rodent. Back home, hot dogs shot through with neon orange cheese. I eat them straight out of the fridge, cold cheese squishing between my teeth, and my fingers smell like hot dogs when I go to bed. And then there is EZ-Cheese, which I spray into my mouth straight from the nozzle like Pauly Shore in A Goofy Movie, although I also sometimes eat it normally, on crackers. I microwave that hunk of Costco cheddar, nuked to crisp corners, a soft pool of grease in the centre of the bowl. Jab and twist at it with my fork, unfurling strands of radioactive orange. Actual string cheese? I peel into the thinnest, stringiest strips possible. In my school lunch, I have that, and Kraft Handi Snacks. I run out of the cheese spread for the Handi-Snacks halfway through, and throw the rest of the crackers away, even though I’m still hungry. Scoop the dirt from my nails with the red plastic cheese spreader stick. But on the best days, we get Cheez-Its, the supreme cheese crackers by far. Shoving our dirty hands in the box while we watch Hook on VHS, competing for bursting handfuls, faster, faster, until mom takes the box or it’s all gone. Cheese Nips are rip-off Cheez-its and they taste like rip-offs, but they’re better than nothing. Better Cheddars are light and round, which is a nice change from all the square crackers, but the flavour is weak, so you forget they’re even cheese. I could eat a ham and cheese hot pocket for every meal, even though I always burn my mouth out. There’s nothing worse than Goldfish crackers. Only babies like them. Pizza Hut is my favourite pizza, especially the oozing hot cheese-filled crust, which I have choked on more than once, but it’s worth it.

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Everything will be okay for your landlord

You are what you eat so if you see me munging
on a hypertrophied human arm in the wee hours
behind a sand dune, no you didn’t. Excuse me
while I shimmy into something a little less knowable.
Speaking of which, close all your eyes. Flood your
mouth with saliva. Hold it. Allow your hand to fall across
an expensive bottle of sun cream. Listen for the city
laughing at its buildings. Now, be a darling



and spit. You are what you eat so I guess it’s time I ate
myself? Nom … nom … nom?
I want to tell you so many things but my teeth
fly out of my face at warp speed. Not enough hours
in the day, which is to say conduct a prayer ceremony for
Search Engine Optimisation by washing your horrid bathmat
and use it barefoot straight out of the dryer so nice.
It’s bin night so there’s that to look forward to as well.



This message and everything on this page
is an ad. Go here to end. Stub your second biggest
toe on the corner of the post office. (Required.) Nobody
tells you the itch is hereditary, that the link is coming from
inside the biography. If you like this, you might also like
the headache from eating ice cream too fast. Sit back and
look at the word going and say it out loud in the style of boing.
Play the Theremin with a boneless puck
          of chicken.
You are what you eat so I guess it’s time I ate an exhausted
whoopie cushion? Summon onomatopoeia? In this climate?
Sir, this is Wellbeing Wednesday. Let them eat pizza. Nom, nom,
nom, etc. I might be two-faced but I wear one snood. Why are we
always doing things? You know how you hurtle
          birthdaytowardbirthday
          umbilical turn numerical
I’m wondering if you might do that one more time
          with no feeling. Recall the erupted fog.
So very un-fog-like to erupt, isn’t it? Why are we always
doing things that could be interpreted as symptoms? We are
almost never in a helicopter orbiting a multi-story casino or
rissole? What’s with that? Shell fragments and slow sand
          stuck in our ears. A few more payslips
and we can start applying for a new



place. You are what you eat so eat your friendversary? It is
easier to imagine the end of capitalism than a dry bathmat so eat
a dry bathmat? The trouble with nightmaring across a field
is the desire to smooch your own fractures. The thought of a
list. A trapped nerve indexed. Onlookers gasping in awe. Failed
empty file. Cossid larvae pattering the linoleum like big rain. Coins
dumped in the sink. Is this loud enough? Everything will be okay
for your landlord. Disappoint the oldest person you know by texting
them: Sorry but I can’t make it tonight. I’m a graphic designer. The sky
splitting up like parents. You have memories to look back on today
(content unavailable right now). This message and everything on this
page is bad. Hold me close and


lol. What in the unsanctified insularity brings you here? Anti-ageing
agent? You can run but you can’t Dow Jones. You are what you eat
so eat the rich. haha.



                                                  See also: ha. You think this is funny?



This is a serious recipe for a hotdog made out of the same stuff as
a black hole. I want to tell you the story of the ocean trench at the
bottom of the deepest single use plastic bag. Today I have a caffeine
headache in my ass. Tomorrow you will enter a room carrying
nothing but crisp impermanence. How very dare you. I’ll have you
know days perish. Road tar softens. An empty cup suggests
water. There’s always a cloth getting dry somewhere. 3.4 billion
financial years ago a blob in the sea was the first thing to react to light.



          Thanks blob. You were cool.



They say you are what you eat so eat a billionaire in space?
In space no one can hear you in space. Can’t remember anything
else. Can’t even remember what is like


          eggs in the presence of hailstones.



Can’t remember a single thing.



          Can’t shake the thought that when I smile
          I’m manipulating muscles to expose a piece of my skull.














Notes:
This poem appeared in Secret Third Thing by Dan Hogan, published by Cordite Books in 2023.
A video version of this poem was a finalist in the 2020 Queensland Poetry Festival Film + Poetry Challenge, which can be viewed here.
‘You can run but you can’t Dow Jones’ is a reference to the line ‘You can run / but you can’t / aquarium’ from Stingray Clapping by Andrew Choate.

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Pulp to reform

this is
my first interview
since my death

(predictable suspense)

i swallowed
a cotton bud

i had only just
recovered
from the teardrop curse

by then
it had become popular
to pulp to reform

everyone’s dad
shredded
their rhetorical filler

that seemed to work
for them
the dads

every one of them
had sampled
a few mls of
ostensibly beneficial
dribble

copper bracelets
were big too
&
old brass bowlfuls
of plant-based plants

– – –

some perspective
in the kitchen –

rinsing
greasy glass lids
foam bubbles

little transparent
purplish white globes
slide ping pop

cartoon
georges perec
moments

like
question your teaspoons
(questionner tes petites cuillèrs)

drumming
steel cutlery
to set the table

i asked
the pot plant
what to do

begin straightaway
cook up
easy parasite stir fry

that’s what
the dads
called it

unwelcome comments

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

out in the street
on the odd numbers side
a house number
is missing

heading
north to south
facing east

into sunrises
pinkish or reddish
on a good morning

this is 147
the hermit’s at 149
151 is missing
no house no number
then
the rental terrace 153

day breaks
over the flitting zone

wind drops
its
sootsoaked aerosols

swallows chit chit
to the clouds –
‘you’re across everything’

dreamliner
slices cirrus vapour

morning’s daze
crashed
by an airwave nail gun

pump pat
pump pat
pump pat

loud richochet
swooshes off the fence

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

before
i died

i had
to get away

crosshatched
nerves twitched

i deserved
a different body
smooth & calm
&
maybe lanky

– – –

i was
always polite
&
friendly

at the clinic
at the deli
at the library

at the fish shop

‘kalispera
tikanis?’

my few greek expressions
had come from
a worldly lesbian
who’d been to samos

she’d learned them
from her ouzo lover
(‘s’agapo poli’)
or
was it retsina?

‘efcharistó
télos pánton’

i should have
gone
to samos

thanks
anyway

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

this interview
has digressed

i’m not sure
what you want
to know

is it
about the poetry?

all
accidental

from this cardboard coffin
some final words –

Note: Pulp was an English art pop band in the mid 1990s. In late 2022, the poet Michael Farrell posted their news on facebook using the headline
‘Pulp to Reform’.
Michael posted “‘Pulp to Reform’ sounds like a pam brown poem title”.
So, I wrote a poem that really had nothing to do with the band but later, as poetry often does, its content took on a synchronistic cast
of mortality. Pulp were due to reform in 2023, but, sadly, in early March the bass player, Steve Mackey, died.

Posted in 110: POP | Tagged

I’ve only known things that you’ve known better

do you know how to get satisfyingly clean glass?
press your palms together and feel the heat it generates
imagine the heat moving right through the palm, through the wall and into the river

acupuncturists, they used to use fishbones and thorns
now they have needles. wow.
how did they figure that out?

having an older sibling is different to being an older sibling
observe a flower or pluck it from its roots

nobody can do Beckett like Beckett
tfw I realise that almost all my suffering is self-created & I have assigned false
value to many situations that are in fact morally neutral
I am his mother and he is my mother

the other evening, I passed a man who smelt like me in the 90’s
Revlon Fire & Ice and no real concept of Rwanda
top notes: orange blossom osmanthus tangerine
heart notes: magnolia narcissus orchid tuberose
base notes: amber musk incense
the collars of landfill anoraks still bear the scent

Erich Fromm, I want to be behind a door at all times
and peer through a tiny telescope to see what’s on the other side


Notes on the poem: the title was provided to me by Andrew McLellan; source texts or references include Enduroshield ad on Instagram; Sinus Drainage & Headache Relief Exercises by Adam Fields DC; Gabrielle Moss’ Twitter; and Base notes’ entry for Fire & Ice.

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THE BABY-SITTERS CLUB

To be baptized Tiffany,
Kimberly, a child dreaming
in the language of white suburbia, praying at Clarissa’s wide bay windows, fading into another life, stitching
my body into the body of Home- coming Queen, rising, stretching
my white body, in my white underwear, sprawled on white sheets, the white light of the sun shining
through white linen drapes, beyond which white clouds
are punctured by a white god
stretching his white arm from
out a white sky, while a white
limousine waits at my door.

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Saturday Night in the City of the Dead

Last night, after I said I was just passing through. After we
stole away from other sapphics. After I said
you’re going to die and I can’t stop it. Last night in
San Junipero when the sky blushed lilac, horizon seeped like a cut
kumquat in deep summer, when the moon hung below the skirts
of the palm trees like a half-remembered
moon, when we drove to
nowhere, to the render’s edge, when waves crashed on distant
shores of time, when we shored against forgetting, when
we made sense of forever—the longing—the
boredom—the laughter—the love of it—last night city
lights blazed a new galaxy and the dead
had already made room for us. I knew what I was born for. Time’s
nearly up. Let’s dance, sweet thing
until the rest of it.

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Me and my Rhythm Box

–Pipalyatjara (APY Lands)

red dust creates a henna effect in your silver hair
as we drive into the centre of town on sunset
past the ice cream truck mr whippied over a ghost sign for fire
the mirage is like a recurring dream
that after raising a child my ex-partner from aeons ago
decides there’s enough life left for a superannuated rekindling
yet I can’t shake the feeling I’m trespassing
and wake to realise that you’re sleeping beside me
otherworldly as that bisexual star of Liquid Sky
last night my boss decided to pull on the belt loops
of my jeans as a come on which I appreciated
after a particularly desultory performance review
discharging wish fulfilment in my sleep
writing pink slips for maverick abandonment

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Eva Birch Reviews Foxstruck and Other Collisions by Shari Kocher

Foxstruck and Other Collisions by Shari Kocher
Puncher & Wattman, 2020


When I first read this book, I was taken aback by all the foxes, deer, and horses. These types of animals seemed cringy, stereotypical, Disney. Why isn’t she talking about kangaroos or koalas? I thought. Native animals have more weight, more depth, more inflections. After reading it again, I realised it was me being cringe, pretending as if colonisation didn’t happen, as if I wasn’t white—a little princess—as if I wasn’t really a person and I didn’t really exist.

If there’s one thing Kocher does in this book it’s affirm existence, precisely by tarrying with the violence that is one of its conditions. Kocher starts the titular poem ‘Foxstruck,’ standing in the paddock, looking at the “Dog Star,” Syrius—the brightest star (19). This Syrius has “the almost / forgotten name of a flagship,” the HMS Syrius of the first fleet (19). This ship brings with it “typhoid, cholera, and sweetened damper,” the latter a euphemism for the poisoned bread settlers distributed to First Nations people in an act of genocide, as Kocher writes in the notes (135). The speaker has inherited this history: “Makes no sense how we got here” (19). She is bereft of place and cosmology, her only history that of genocidal settlers. Yet she is here, and therefore it necessarily:

[…] Makes
perfect sense: a fox, eye-locked, almost
touching me. Three red paws on the ground,
one white, lifted in mid-step, a thousand
tiny hairs sparking moonlight.

(19)

Seeing the fox helps the speaker make sense of her existence, but this making sense isn’t final, there’s not really an answer:

[…] Standing alone in a paddock
pouring electricity under a night sky
blinking cold atoms without answer,
blood quickens the slow burn of fox,
tricky as history, the fire before and after.

(19–20)

Fire is a central theme of the book. In ‘Foxstruck’ the speaker is struck by the fox, because it holds the “old language of fire” (19). In ‘Goats Cheese with Honey and Rosemary on Toast on a Sunday Morning,’ fire is also old, originary: “Fire having made us, heat becomes us” (41). Kocher draws the link between origin and the present moment. Fire made us in an originary, alchemical way, along with the other elements, and heat, in touch and food, continues to sustain us. The poem continues:

Hands that milked the goat and bee,
the bee that milked the flower, equally
your hands, last night and this morning
churn, to set, to rise, to spread
this yeast in me the fire alights

(41)

The prosaic object of the title—‘Goats Cheese with Honey and Rosemary on Toast’—loses its shine of objectivity as Kocher identifies the primary element—fire—as well as the relation—love—that made the meal possible. Fire and love are metaphors for each other in this poem, and both seem indispensable.

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Marion May Campbell Reviews Rose Hunter and Nellie Le Beau

Body Shell Girl by Rose Hunter
Spinifex, 2022

Inheritance by Nellie Le Beau
Puncher & Wattmann, 2021


Both these strikingly strong recent poetry publications Body Shell Girl and Inheritance, from Australian poets of feminist inflection, deal at least in part with North American and Canadian experience. While Rose Hunter navigates with a highly effective, raw, and unsentimental diction her often traumatising experience as a sex worker in Toronto and Vancouver, Nellie Le Beau practises an innovative and, at times, a more radically challengingly poetics to send reader perception veering into uncanny encounters with our places in space-time.

Hunter’s sixth full-length collection Body Shell Girl unfolds the title’s implication of a traumatic emptying-out of body-consciousness, and the addictions that the imperative to dissociate can tow in its wake. Inheritance, the remarkable inaugural winner of the Puncher & Wattmann Prize for a first book of poetry, moves through a transgenerational and, at times, an even trans-phanerzoic range of states of being. Le Beau’s book is restlessly migratory and always unsettling, dislocating habitual human investments, acutely aware of the world as more-than-human. Both works evoke affective and sensational intensities, but Hunter’s verse memoir is clearly the more narratively driven – eminently accessible, a compelling, at times hackle-raising, page-turner. Le Beau’s more disjunctive language and image clusters challenge cultural paradigms. Performing in form, soundscape, and lineation the intricate and complex embeddedness of beings and material states, Le Beau’s book contests notions of spacetime intrinsic to anthropocentric concepts of inheritance.

Plunging us directly into her precarious socio-economic circumstances, Hunter dramatises with imaginative economy the paradox of a subjectivity that must constantly vacate her “body shell” to survive the deadly objectification, abjection, and violence that male clients perpetrate upon her in her first two years as a sex worker.

think of my body as a shell
that I could vacate, not as metaphor, or symbol
but as real possibility

(42)

In vernacular language, Hunter’s address always aligns the reader with the intimate perspective. Even when extreme entrapment is terrifyingly performed, never, for this reader at least, does this intimacy become claustrophobic. Several reviews, including Jenny Hedley’s and Charles Rammelkamp’s, have acclaimed the courageous nerve driving this work. I also felt that, since reading Violet Leduc’s La Bâtarde in the early 1970s, I had not encountered such fearless plumbing of the things dire financial need can push one to do. Heralding Leduc’s unflinching sincerity in her preface, Simone de Beauvoir argued that it takes much more courage to write about one’s relationship to money, which in Leduc’s case stemmed from the shame of the poverty she experienced early in life, than one’s lesbianism, even in such a homophobic era (20). The poetic vignettes here do not simply focus on the extreme encounters but also the accommodation to the routines of sex work, and the almost homely and maternal guidance received in Zu’s massage parlour in Toronto. They also charter, as mentioned, the heart-stopping situations that the young Hunter’s shyness, self-deprecation, and naivety lead her into. She is convinced that she’s never slim enough, nor clever enough, nor attractive enough, and suffers unbearably from the clients’ scopophilia so that, in reading her, one has the sense of rapacious eyes pulling at one’s skin. As with Le Beau, expressive and, at times, disjunctive lineation and tactically effective enjambments magnify the pulse of affect and the extreme fragility of the subject, here at least coincident with her body:

the wind hurtled snow across the expanse
of the strip mall parking lot
flying white specks that pin-pelted my calves
and the patch of ice that crumbled
a numbing, gloving of foot: I was

head down and heading
for the window with red neon
two rectangles outlined in more red neon, polka dots:

MASSAGE
OPEN

(6-7)

The style of another worker in her “blue suede” dress becomes, for the self-derogatory apprentice Hunter, a synecdoche for all that’s attractive, against which she’s already failed: “and I was no Blue Suede” (7; 9).

But “memory”, after all, “is a shape-shifter” and here, not unlike Le Beau, Hunter effects a montage of the embodied human with the built environment; the freeway kinetics, the weather, and then the room, scene of the sexual transaction with the client (9). An alienated subjectivity is sliced into the reader’s consciousness, making the same dissociative excursions and returns its pulse through the shapeshifting of the lines:

because what I was feeling was a full sort of nothing
replete with other static:
the hum of yellow lights
the soft swishing of the snow-faring traffic on Steeles
and then I was just in the room 
and out of it

and floating in between

(11)

The client, rendered with comic verve as meringue, can stand for the projected abjection of Hunter’s persona, thus feminising and reducing the male client to a collapsible item of culinary consumption:

his gelled hair-crown, pavlova like
white belly tumbling to rest on the table
other hand on his hip; a misplaced blasé

comedy odalisque?

(14)

And indeed, in this vein of tart irony Hunter conjures fumbling contortions of client and masseuse to release “the Clag Plaste” emission, eliciting for her the praise, “You’re a natural” (17).

Likewise, the self-portrait of our ingénue, yet to be styled as sex worker comme il faut, gains sharper focus via manager Zu’s voice:

“And clean up the eyebrows for the love of Mary
This is forest you have.”

(19)

Hollowed out, the girl undergoes the junk food binge to convince herself that yes, she is worthless, shameful. Queuing in the convenience store proves an extreme form of martyrdom – becoming once more the “Stupid Thing”; the binge is “its own jangled beast”, and the expressive lineation certainly nails the beast (35):

My mouth paste and falling water, and emptiness 
stretched
my body, a hole that hurt
like arms and legs and bones were empty stomachs too
screaming to be filled

(35)

And ‘body shell girl’ assumes the shame that should be the predator’s when, prodded insistently in the small of her back by what is not an elbow, she descends from the bus at the wrong stop in the midst of a snowstorm.

Posted in BOOK REVIEWS | Tagged , ,

Tell Me Like You Mean It 6


Image by Lillian Palser Barto

Once, I was sitting in my therapist’s office, and she asked me the question ‘Why do you write poetry?’ It’s a very good question; one with many answers, half of which I couldn’t articulate here. I responded to her with something like, ‘It helps me to understand my internal environment.’ In this sixth volume of Tell Me Like You Mean It, Victoria Winata asks, poetically, ‘how will I be able to think completely without speaking?’ This is a bit like what I was getting at with my therapist, I think. That, through expressing the internal amalgamation of yesterday’s cereal and the swan in the river and my mother in her sunglasses looking at me, all that which comes through my retinas and then does things inside of me, also must come out of me, and in a form which evokes what it has done inside of me.

Further on in Winata’s poem, the speaker, while anticipating a solo visit to an impressionist exhibition, admits ‘I’d like it if I spoke to you as I was looking.’ I wonder, as I read this line, if this is what poets are doing all of the time. We communicate with our readers as we look at the world, much like an exhibit. We write as we live. In curating this publication, I felt a sense that I was engaging with work that was made up of deeply intimate moments of encountering a self; of oneself, looking at the world.

If we were to talk through-lines in this volume of work, there is one that especially piques my interest: the notion of rotations and orbits. This is particularly fascinating given Saturn’s recent return to the astrological sign of Pisces. Furthermore, I wonder about the impact of the pandemic and State-sanctioned 5km orbits; these little rotations we made in our spaces every day. Rotations of living in a neoliberal world are painful, and expressed as such in the opening line of Nejra Prelic’s poem, ‘I get up/perform my alienations’ and later, ‘the same disconsolate anomie/the same peptic work’. The soullessness of paperwork; being made subject to bureaucratic processes of dehumanisation in Kit Kavanagh-Ryan’s ‘NDIS Access Request Form 2022’, where repetition and circularity culminate in having the poem itself slowly close in on the reader.

Along with rotations, there is also, perhaps bizarrely, human-as-plant, as in Vivian Blaxell’s ‘The Mommy Sutra’ and, of course, ‘My Kathy Acker’ by Abbra Kotlarczyk. I am not sure why Kathy Acker is a tree, but she is, and she needs to be. There was a time when nature poems were very much ‘out of style’, which was certainly some modernist bullshit, and thankfully seems not to be the case anymore. In fact, when I read a poem which is in some way an ode to the natural world (as in ‘My Kathy Acker’) I feel the sense that these kinds of tender, close studies/love poems are truly precious, vital and necessary in an age of rapidly accelerating ecological deterioration.


Vivian Blaxell: The Mommy Sutra

Sharon Du: Sidereal Period

Nejra Prelic: alienations

Kori Miles: Incantation for Revolt

Kit Kavanagh-Ryan: NDIS Access Request Form 2022

Derek Chan: In the Snows of My Twenty Fifth Year

Rory Green: lessons

Dominic Guerrera: some sort of silence

Tyberius Larking: Repatriate

Patrick Mercer: Pentridge Prison Dreaming

Freya Daly Sadgrove: HORSE POLO TONGUE SWALLOW

Graham Akhurst: New York City

Max Koetsier: painkillers

Victoria Winata: Pissaro’s Flowers

Alston Chu: artificial horizon B

Kiara Lindsay: I am in the lake

Abbra Kotlarczyk: My Kathy Acker


There’s a lot of unsettling stuff going on in this volume generally. Both unsettling in tone (read: eerie) and unsettling in the most productive, political sense of the word. To ‘unsettle’ what is socially settled. Pentridge Prison is painted in its terrifying hub-apartment-complex-nightmare in ‘Pentridge Prison Dreaming’ by Patrick Mercer, where Mercer uses rhymed couplets to create a haunting, sing-song melody about the terror of this historical and modern institution. In ‘artificial horizon B’, Alston Chu opens their poem with ‘we have bred a new animal’, and concludes the stanza with ‘its/vast totality left to the drink and/sweet iron scent/of its own end’. I can think, here, of many beasts which we have bred but which will eventually destruct; capitalism, neoliberalism, for example.

Then there are moments of joy, nostalgia, revolt, of coming to know oneself and then know oneself again, and so never really knowing oneself, but learning and continuing to learn, as in ‘lessons’ by Rory Green. I would like to speak of every poem individually, because all of the poems in this collection are truly, wildly good. I would, however, be here all day, and think it best to leave you to read it yourself. Perhaps reading this collection will bring you closer to answering the question of why you choose to read poetry. If living is to make the external world internal, then poetry makes it external again. Reading then makes it internal, again and again, in orbit.

Posted in CHAPBOOKS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Mommy Sutra

My mother’s element, my mommy’s being, my mum’s poem was garden. She was a couple of
port wine magnolia mulched and fed and reliable with enameled green leaves and swooning
blossoms come spring. She was a bed of mignonette lettuce, a row of grosse lisse tomatoes.
She was a Japanese maple tree struggling to become beautiful on a therapy of red dirt, pills of
sheep shit, and obstinance. She was scornful crab grass, dandelion, and paspalum. She was an
uncorralled collation of wonga wonga vine, old man’s beard, and dusky coral pea. My mother’s
human body and her human mind gave less attention to themselves than to the gardens she
grew as signs of her true being, and in those gardens, my garden mother and the garden she
made to show her being to the world became one. “Where’s Mom?” we said. “Garden.”
“What is Mum?” we said not for we didn’t want the garden our mother was. We wanted the
mommy she was always becoming.

Posted in TMLYMI v6 | Tagged

NDIS Access Request Form 2022

It’s paperwork for dinner.
An exercise list on the fridge
settles next to the electricity bill,
by postcards with cracks in their corners.
I need to buy vegetables. Wires
settle. Knee and wrist, my body heavy
next to the electricity bill, while my
muscle tastes of struck bells and rust.
I need to buy vegetables. Wires
misfiring—thoughts thicken. I trip,
muscle tasting of struck bells and rust—
Settle! Knee and wrist. My body. Heavy
and misfiring. Thoughts thicken. I trip—
in the last three months has my condition
settled? Knee and wrist, my heavy body
all still there, still sore, and still—
in the last three months
my condition remains unchanged.
I am still here, still sore, still
settled next to the electricity bill.
My panic remains unchanged.
I am left with cracks in all my corners,
an exercise list on the fridge.
It’s paperwork for dinner.

Posted in TMLYMI v6 | Tagged