A tribute track for the Topp Twins




nobody can be afraid of you if you are good enough at yodelling

they will be too perplexed by those mesmeric ululations

to scorn the shaggy mullets traditional to our people

the flannel check and denim and the hankies that dangle

from the back pockets of the country’s best-beloved bumpkins

line-dancing over a stage strewn with camping detritus

to lead us yeehawing into the century of the cowgirl…

Belle and Belle and Ken and Ken

hand in hand on the picket line,

untouchable, touchable, we burn easily

but we are bloody gorgeous

parading in our many splendid genders,

fondly parodic as the rural tearooms’ toilet signage

of cartoon sheep in striped ties or polka-dot frocks:

ewes, rams, mixed flock…

the fringes swish on our wedding-satin western shirts

as we romp through a country of treacherous nostalgia,

the rose-tinted redneck fantasy

gentling the herd to trot along with us,

drag kings chugging stubbies

with the shearing gang at Showgirls…

sweating under stick-on moustaches

while awarding the A&P show cup for best bull

as rodeo boys in wrangler jeans

make out behind the bales of hay…

there sure seems a lot of us are turning out this way…