The City, an Intersection

1

Here we fell among it, the cursed lawn
dappled day: my Voltaren gel caps askew
Medjool pit in the Spanish crown teacup

Cursed in the sense of all lawns – unnatural
monoculture, a steep price for your desires above
the rest (pollinators, winged ones)

2

We’re in surplus, sprouted mung beans
I’m on a single leg and turning eastwards
colliding at the sky, a pond or hearing the old life

They call it keeping your balance, I call it switching
swapping a tiny blacksmith’s hammer
on a neck for the enclosed, the erupted, on 20th

3

You watch this spot, the one where I poured
luminous coffee, we discussed the voltage of inter
generational junctions, the past always

contained the object (yours, a pierced-hole lobe)

Mine, a deep gut lurch. I mean, a hook inside but welcomed
digging pits, reaching over state borders
tectonic shifts for the new world

(not a new world at all but we’ll learn the shame, for Leopardi)

4

I’m calling it: we’ll walk the rest of the way. You told me
how it’s made, but I stuff my face with mountain spinach
all the same. I haven’t worked out this next bit, the cast off

they call it

(the fisherman’s
knitting bible)

Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

Diasporic Content

as burning house: https://theburninghouse.com/




as mourning:

The frog dies because it can’t detect the water boiling.
Felix no longer wants the slow release of forgetting. He wants
something swifter. To more readily mourn. To no longer wait.
He goes to Myer to buy a black suit.


as dusk: https://youtu.be/qRZE77N5woQ?t=9


as malfunctioning microwave:



as goodbye: https://thoughtcatalog.com/stacey-becker/2015/05/15-rules-you-must-follow-when-saying-goodbye-at-a-party/


as father’s words you’ll always remember:

“Be the master of the events.”

as pedagogy: https://www.fluentu.com/blog/chinese/how-to-learn-mandarin-chinese-by-yourself/




as the sun and the moon:



as seance:

Felix is sorry you’re gone. He’s making seven phone calls to
different people in the underworld trying to make it through.
He’s on the phone with Ox-Head and Horse Face, guards of the
underworld. They keep trying to finish each other’s sentences.
But they’re extremely bad at it. Felix is getting nowhere.


as plans:

to be swimming in tomorrow’s pool, tomorrow’s weather
today an egg in my hand (a little light escaping the eggshell)
will remain burning tomorrow’s things for tomorrow’s dead
I should call my mum, tomorrow



as online search to confirm name:



as the physics of waves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tc2tW0jFHPo


as grandma’s conversational skills:

How tall are you?
And how tall is your brother?
And how much money do you make?



as memory:

Felix steps back into a memory of his childhood. There is Felix
and there is a rabbit. Later, he is unsure if it is a memory
of the event or a memory of seeing a family video of the event.


as Google-translated title:



as intention:

to eat the fruit that will be received
to receive the fruit that will be cut
to give the fruit that will be received
to grow the fruit that will be given



as response to fast-approaching deadline:

Felix goes to the beach to look at fish.


as grandma’s conversational skills five minutes later:

How tall are you?
How tall is your brother?
How much money do you make?



as what happened to the blueprint: melted by rain.


as family memoir postponement:

Felix’s mother drops a vat of soup on his laptop. Everything is gone.
He quickly cycles through the stages of grief. Kübler-Ross proposes
five stages. Felix reckons there are more.
He has since learnt to back up his work.


as what might come after:



as three further questions:

what if i could remember your face forever
what if i could think in the language first given to me
what if i finally downloaded WeChat



as how I felt about it before:

Contained in rooms. Rooms, plural, but still rooms.


as zoom call: Felix has been speaking for five minutes and has been
on mute the whole time.


as paternal love:



as transition from container to possibility:

If there were rooms before I am ready
for passages.
I am ready for roads.
I am ready for horizons I cannot see
beyond.



as unfathomable loss:



as response to whoever left the door ajar:

See above.

Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

Circumnavigation

The first Anglo-Indians were born in 1601, and as the seventeenth century
progressed, the East India Company’s directors encouraged their employees in India
to take local brides and convert them to Protestantism. A gold mohur or pagoda was
paid to the mother of every child born from such a union. The offspring became
known to the local Indians as ‘feringhees’ (foreigners), mesties, topases, or
wallandez.

If a group of people
is displaced from
their place of birth
in spirit in the churn
of soul song pulse

If a woman is displaced
from her community
in body and flesh
becoming an outcast
in her place of birth

If a birthplace is displaced
from itself within
the bodies of a group
of its people, deflected
by alienation from
ritual culture politics

If the offspring of inter-
marriage are coded to the culture of the coloniser

If a group of people
is both coloniser
and almost-
colonised

(her brown skin
disappearing in
her brother’s white
or the reverse
their identity culture-
coded, quilling
bifurcation)

If the primary language
known to a group of people colonises their birthplace

(joyful borrowed phrases
wink on an amazed ceiling)

If you cross a subcontinent by marriage, you cross her deities

/

In the photograph
you are holding
a basket of flowers
in a lush garden
looking as if you belong
in Picnic at Hanging Rock
only this is northwestern India
and India surely lingers
in your features and attitudes
as you surely linger
in the body of India
your place of birth, of death

(as surely as your family
traversed the ocean
stepping away
from their home—
away from home)

But you were not Indian—
to have claimed this identity
would have suggested
something other than a name

There were so many languages of India you did not understand
(there were so many British spaces you could not enter)
there were the Anglo-Indian schools gathering your confession
in Western knowledge and Christian teachings

As the train wound into Jamshedpur … manganese ore poured into the furnaces lit up
the night sky for miles around.

/

Synthetic ochre
is a geological muscle on the verge of heat. Consider
raw yellow soil calcining radiating in the cadence of salt
a swarm of hues forms to carry the pioneers across the landscape
where earth is converted to burnt earth
As goethite becomes hematite, yellow darkens into red

As the hand’s tint or tilt palm lines earth lines
turn fold with a lilt toward the hills
so the angle at which a person enters history
may be altered by the material of desire. How grief forms in the rock surface
in wide willowy eyes. How quasi-
settlers place local news on hold
while servicing an Empire composed of several histories

only some of which rise to the surface

Tears wake the cornea, moistening
epithelial tissue. Visual information pools into blurred names reserved
for artificial natives. Someone born here is nonetheless
feringhee | foreigner mesties | the child of a mulat
and a white person where mulat means the child
of a black person and a white person

Many shades of person,
calling to each other over vast distances, are measured. Distinctions between
the British and the ‘countryborn’ Anglo-Indian are complex
The fair son may be sent to England to be educated. High adventure
ensues opening to a technique of preparing images
in wave upon wave
layer upon layer of lime plaster then milk of lime

/

There is this city within a city
in which you reside
there is this culture within cultures
in which you reside
there are these pigments within earth
in which you reside

If you stay, if you leave

Let the meaning of home rearrange itself

Rub each coat with a stone

Polish the surface with an agate stone



Sources: Gloria Jean Moore, The Anglo-Indian Vision, Australasian Educa Press, 1986 (including italicised quotes);
Anjali Sharma and Manager Rajdeo Singh, ‘A Review on Historical Earth Pigments Used in India’s Wall Paintings’, Heritage, 2021, 4(3), 1970-1994,
https://doi.org/10.3390/heritage4030112;
Yvette Hoitink, ‘Dutch term – Mulat, Mesties, Casties, Poesties, Testies’, Dutch Genealogy, 17 April 2017,
https://www.dutchgenealogy.nl/mulat-mesties-casties-poesties-testies/.

Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

Argument of Incorporeality

Through the mist-aproned mountain,
wind blows a gate open.

Years that don’t belong to me
flood my palms like coins too heavy
to hold. Memories—time’s avalanche
sweeping the mountainside of the mind.

In my naked namelessness, I lie down
in the spring snow. The contours of my senses
dissolve in the coldness
like sugar on a fevered tongue.

Slowly, the wind in the mountain assumes
the gate’s unwanted shape
the way a soul first tries on a body: testing
its limits before suffusing it, before
surrendering itself wholly to a fixed form.

I miss not having a body, or rather
that illusion of absolute freedom,
of not having to indulge
the body’s stringent longings.

What is nostalgia if not the oldest hunger
you can no longer return to—that sliver
of clear sky that each falling flake of snow
holds within, unwounded by masts or wings?

The wind tries to close the gate
but the gate refuses closure.

A pain, when touched, shines in the dark.

The wind is no longer what it was.

The mountain remains the mountain.

Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

FAQ

Question: Please explain how to separate a body from a nation.

Answer: First, spread the body-nation out on a clean, flat surface such as a kitchen counter or an ironing board. Next, take a large blank piece of paper and lay it over the body-nation so that it covers it entirely. The size of the paper will depend on the size of your body-nation. For a small island nation A4 or even A5 will do. Using your hands, press the paper onto the body-nation gently. Then, with damp hands, sprinkling water as you go, press the paper down firmly so that it molds to the body-nation. Leave to dry. If you live in a cold climate, heat it by a fire. If you live in a warm, humid climate keep it in a cool, dry place. When the paper is dry, starting at a corner, slowly remove an edge, lifting the paper away from what is now the body. The paper should be imprinted on the underside with a map of the nation, which is the nation. If it is not imprinted go back and repeat the process. The nation can be framed, hung or discarded. Never throw away the body. Alternate methods of separation include cutting, boiling or even vigorous shaking until the elements rise or fall into distinct layers. These methods always result in part of the body or nation being sacrificed and are not recommended if wanting to retain the wholeness of either part.
Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

Ciao, Bella!

This commission is killing me

I am waiting for my liberation
like peasants before the revolution
and patriarchs after the revolution

would I like to say something about colonisation?
yes! I would love to be colonised! I grew up colonised!
we loved the conquerors! my dad loved America and he
got me to read quotes by Western thinkers . . . Lincoln, Napoleon

Bonaparte, Plato, Pascal, Rousseau, Churchill, Derrida, Foucault . . . even Nietzsche

and he said there was no future for Hong Kong
the pigeon cages and landslides, no one will want
to live here . . . learn English, go to Australia
the land of comfort, where the conquerors
are thriving still . . . alas here I am
neither black nor white

the Switzerland of Asia . . .

oh God—

I don’t want to write another vain dull hopeless song for the editors
it is so tiring to sing for others . . .
it’s like a cheap pop melody
without mythologies . . .

if nightingales were paid to sing, would they???
if the gods had to go to work, would they have bothered making the world?

editors of the great magazines
I love you

but are you truly happy?

I am depleted
so depleted I resorted to using a poetry generator . . . (don’t laugh)

the following words are generated by algorithms and I think

they are
better than my poem:

DEATH TO THE EDITORS

I cannot help but stop and look at the dead words.
Now doomed is just the thing,
To get me wondering if the action is stillborn.

The devastation that’s really hellish,
Above all others, is the annihilation of bricks and letters.
Down, down, down into the darkness of the annulled,
Gently it goes—the unholy, the diabolical, the evil

Hatching like a bad egg.

Just like an insurmountable hill is the pain.
Pain—the true source of happiness.

I cannot help but stop and look at the fat sorrow spread upon my dinner
plate.
It was fried with lard and tasted like dog piss.
Sparrows roasted on the spit, country style.
Heavy feelings . . . they overflew the page . . .

Dark clouds, they ask no questions.
Moonlight, I murdered my wife.

Why would you think the assassination is helpful?
The assassination is the most hopeless hatchet job of all.
It won’t solve anything.
Never forget the despondent and bad assassins who fail at their work.

What is worse:
The editors may live.

Oh troubles without end!
They are fatal beyond belief.

Damned forever are the Bards!

Bad things happen, will always happen.
Now hate is just the thing,
To get me writing, wondering

If the word, trouble
Is mortal after all.

. . .

the wreck of rain
too dark to see . . .

I set to work, the loathsome editing . . .
great unhappiness awaits,

while the Russian tanks
never cease to attempt to unite the Slavic race

and the Chinese Communist Party does the same
and sends the People’s Liberation Army, the Poet’s

Liberation Army of editors

to liberate me

from?

???

Oh great souls of the literary army,

I once spoke against you
I once fought, though my heart was not in the fighting.
But now, but now

I love you,
How I love you,
How much I loved you!
And I love you still, perhaps forever!
I love you like the running stream at the choke point, fellow
revolutionaries, my comrades!
I love you like the Western Plains overwhelmed by so many tears from
the gods,
I love you like the colonised columns broken by an axe, my axe I
kissed with my lips of submission,
My country of typhoons and tycoons, Zhuangzi and Laozi,
unsurpassed unenlightenment and the Luohans beating up the
Buddha,
cleansing him, changing him, preparing him for the current
curriculum:
the language of simplicity!
Books of hours and years lost,
new memories replacing the old,
Books of loneliness, ugliness, emptiness,
I love, I love, I love—
The death of my life, the birth of my death! For you alone

I am Switzerland!

Sydney, 14th July 2022

Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

Growing Flowers I Am the Flower

I am hearing sounds I shouldn’t
A phone ringing when nobody’s calling
If reality is collapsing like I have asked it to, then I am delighted
and will buy moist, soft strawberry rollcake to celebrate
I daydream about living deep in the woods in a fairytale
cottage near a wide, powder-blue lake
I am completely self-sustaining
I grow my own food and warm my own bath water
with a fire I stoked myself using firewood I found
strewn atop the Earth
I walk barefoot

In your travels, if you happen to enter my realm,
perhaps you would like to trade with the fox children who
are neither foxes nor children, who do not
know a good deal when they see one I have made it
very clear that capitalism may not exist/here

/here, I am growing flowers

Flowers that emit their own light
& dim when plucked
when replanted
become twice as bright

I chose this place for its ruined church
for its still-functioning fountain
wide enough to hold a body
wise enough to house a soul
Generously lifting the veil from our eyes
Limitless not
deep enough to drown in

Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

Donald Trump

1.

My husband he saw an article about his
hometown in The New York Times
Donald, Victoria, Australia
Population 1498

I google Donald, New York Times
he is backseat googling behind me
telling me no google New York Donald Donald Australia Donald articles
we are driving far from where we want to be
we see Down the rabbit hole with Donald
Donald Trump just can’t help it
The People vs Donald Trump
Celebrities react negatively to Donald Trump’s shutdown

Where is my Donald the broken biscuits the
pessimistic farmers the nursing home round the
corner the
slow roads

2.

When I am feeling sad sometimes I google
Donald Trump New York Times the
habit started during the primaries
and I haven’t broken it
it soothes me to feel the predictable contours
of surprise unsurprise outrage fatigue
the completeness of my knowledge of the world
the world is anywhere but here
I wake up from my reading feeling
cleansed of bad emotions and guilty
for going back to him

3.

I am having lunch in Savannah, Georgia
on the fifteenth floor of a hotel
this is the world to a girl born on a big boring island
floating at the bottom of the map
a lady dressed in pink and gold angles
speaks to the American people with black-lined eyes
why do you think he knows you
how do you think he knows you
this man who grew up in a house that that that
this man who grew up in a family had had had

she tells me I got my citizenship after I saw him
campaigning on tv I had been putting it off
but then I thought no
I am from Egypt and there have been two dictators since I left
and the current one has changed the constitution
to say he can rule till 2030

4.

I give my supervisor discounted flowers
for a baby big inside her belly
there is no metaphor and no simile
I can make for this it is
too beautiful a baby just as it is

she says what are these
I say I dropped the flowers on the way here
this is true but it is untrue that it was the fall
that made them look like yesterday
these white-yellow cones of dense petals sloping sideways
they looked like that when I pulled them dripping from the bucket

she says she likes them like
like Donald Trump’s hair she says
thank you for this
and here he is
again in my flowers I thought
I kept myself pure from him how
can I keep myself pure from him

Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

swans, diving

Here you are: solve for x where x is who you are,
what you need, what you want, what to do,
what to change, a Self, many selves, one sensitive child
trapped in a maze of proclivities. You always were good at
maths. You try to move on from equations + the mind surges
too quickly + the heart crashes too hard +
both inhabit the caging mechanism of your body +
it isn’t harmonious.

Body as an extreme / as a machine / as a ship thrown
against the rocks / Fragile vulnerable creature needing to be
cradled / Resentment / Drowning / Taxidermy / How far can you test
its limits? / You wish you could grow wings / escape yourself.

Why always write about flight?
Some might call it naïve , running away
from reality like that. Others might call it
necessary. Shouldn’t you blame fate, or
circumstance? Guilt isn’t all or nothing,
you know. (nothing is)
Anyway, the whole process
is enough to make anybody
lose track. Chase the wind.

A free fall is exhilarating — but gravity will always
win. Sorry, you say. It’s just that I wanted to be better
in every sense of the word.

You, as in me. I’m sorry
for lying. Especially that.
Maybe next time.

Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

Winter Meditation on Autumn Meditation (1)

After Du Fu

Shopper drops jade bracelet, then collapses in shock.
When I get to level 47 the air is almost breathable.
A cold wind blows beyond the river of ancestors,
past the cars in the lobby of the Marriott hotel.
So much is held in commercial confidence. Things
get karaoked into existence when a song is played twice.
I tap ‘love’ on an image of a single drone, hovering
over an artificial lake. This is a night for uploading
images of the new winter line. Revive our hearts, Lord.


NB: The first line of this poem is taken from a newspaper headline.

Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

The River Merchant’s Daughter: A Letter

While I in sandpits sat, dug holes to China,
Walked home from school, green backpack, shoulders bouncing,
Penknife in hand, you’d pace the forest’s heart—
Pick berries, dream revenge against the killers.
We grew on separate, split by small sea-water,
Two lengthening children, pre-desire, regret.

At fourteen your eyes loomed large, closed round, white-moon.
I longed to duck my head and instead stood,
Not knowing my mouth must move––
Kept air beneath my bow, above the string:
Risked not one mis-stepped sound, false frictive note.

Discarding clothes compared to this was simple,
A bed I’d swum, blank-white, sea-bright, since birth.
Asked me, a thousand times, I never answered—
Thought bodies outgrew words, had not yet learned
Of Satan’s fall, smote on him sore,
His legions, angel forms, who lay entranced,
Thick as autumnal leaves strowing the floor,
Kindling a sea of flame, the once-cool brooks in Vallombrosa
Leaping, furnace-forged, white-hot, red-gold,
Vaulted with fire. So I was but did not know,
Nor could look down, nor could forewarn, nor could feel awe.

At fifteen from my mouth outpoured a river.

At sixteen you crossed the wildest ocean,
Didn’t drown in shock-storms or tsunamis.
Five months gone: the native birds still pierce the air,
Their shell-beaks pick, necks pink with frosting.
They don’t turn back
But walk forwards through the grass,
Mouths pressed earth-down.
No arms, just legs and throat.
White crests like wind-topped waves.
Grey tail-wings uselessly at rest.
I did not believe your words.

The jacarandas bloomed more fulsome than before,
Purple flowers filled
When I was small and I was whole.
It’s too late now to hear their bullet fall.
The rain has washed all through one month of autumn.
The new year’s children climb on wooden benches,
They topple on the ground, forget they cry.
Am I light like them?
Their voices hurt me.
I grow older.

If you are sailing backwards down the river,
Rewinding the ocean you left upon,
Seeing caps white glare blue, so bright, you must avert your eyes,
Hear this, the water’s sound.

My father said after you’d gone: forget it wholly.

I remember now only his age-long care
Which ceaselessly returns, like winds cross oceans
Which earth’s aeons’ mountains onwards range.

Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

susmariosep!

And Sunday sinks its heathen summers into the kneecaps of the expropriate wicked /

kain na tayo! / having genuflected hours for a piece of motherfucking bread

isang bagsak, anak! the concrete moves you!

marking devotions this morning to chismis / the auspices of the Gran

Pasista Almighty / fat fist forcefield burrowing achilles’ kili-kili /

and the golden deluge let loose in the just-clean toilet of the parishioners’ office

next to church

Sinful!

a practice of bad descendantry with guarantees of holy sustenance / compass set

for slurpees and cardinal direction in the ravenous I of the beholder / imbibe

blue juice for brainfreeze / and graduate cousins in the crypto-mythology of paying for shit

with hypothesis / sticky finger anointment / a rising sea level washing

the dirt-dream dendrology of juvenile tortures on scabskin

isang bagsak, iha!

Pamilya,

the New Flotilla / ravaging the virgin aisles of Teks and Go-Lo / for a new piece

of shiny / new piece of dollarstore ass / new peace of gestational minute /

for bone-deep highway brains riding rodeo reptilian into a memory of may dila / bankrolling

the covenant into a communism of white conyos / white canticles

white love / of ancestral injunctions on reverence after life lived in the violence

of an easy televangelism / we umutot on the Vatican! / we are pilgrims to the Maccas

and two-dollar chook neck nuggets / cheap as chicken shit / as chipped china imports

adorning the cabinets of migrante pantheons and speakeasy delirium

isang bagsak, ate!

Do you think when he said you have your grandfather’s mouth that he meant

he wanted to / you know / at least we will have something to sin about /

in the bright-beam tinnitus of an open confessional / empty hymnals rehearsing

antiphony karaokes / anathema algorithm to the tune of Mother Mariah

out the stereo with fanta sweat and ballad baptisms

isang bagsak, kapwa! how the humid moves you!

an islandry of miss pilipinas blockading the streets on streets of mini malls of Asia /

brandishing new haymarket chanel / op-shop imitations / & proliferative degrees

of sacred separation / famous uncles brothers cousins stepson’s best

friend’s daughter / gracing the call list of b-grade teledramas / parallel kinships

with the celebritied / your incidental earthquakes / 7,641 islands / your kinship

of global atoms / you balikbayan boxes / you recycled recipes / you transnational

pageantries / fried fish filipiniana / kare kare & KFC / to grow strong / to gestate

isang bagsak, bunso!

one of you farted! / I could smell it /

white husband white wife procession trumpeting the second coming with Glen 20

here, let me convert you

Sit still and pray hard, children!

The spirit behoves you!

Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

VERRITION

1.

Verrition: an untranslatable term Césaire used to indicate a kind of sweeping. Not really: it was a term to indicate the double jouissance of licking words, over and over again. But that is not unlike sweeping, and sweeping is not unlike action painting, your heft and back pushing bristles as they sound off, marking the floor with a tacky rub, or licking the ground, over and over again.

Maybe we could buy a new broom at Bunnings? That question hovers for minutes, days. Maybe we could find ourselves licking the ground at the interval between days, between minutes, between the 59 and the 0? What is the interval between days, between night and day? (Le petit matin, Césaire called it, which Walcott translated, and I find plausible, as foreday morning.) Cognitive drowning, or a tortured landscape in foreday morning, then. Drowning before or at the fore of the zero, which is day. What I mean is that this is not the only thing tethered to the fore of a zero thing, the foreday thing, which is not only an aesthetic thing. And the inclusion of human references here will not be decorative. Except the conclusion here might be decorative, assuming the human will have already existed.

I can’t open it, I say, when I can’t open a file or a link, when I don’t have the password anymore. I can’t open it anymore. But then I thought I was in a landscape or countryside. The file or the link was in the countryside. How do I open a link out there? What if I don’t know the password? What if I don’t know the countryside—which countryside—the institutional countryside—that has disordered my relationship with passwords? My body seizing, pushing bristles as they sound off. This would be me, from the countryside.

Glissant says, I am less interested in your origins in the countryside than in how you would draw a tree, for instance, which is no longer genealogical nor biographical when the picture includes the soil, the manure, the grasses, the birds, the water in the air, the water in the ground, the water on the leaves, the adjacent trees, all the condensation from all the leaves, the clouds humming in the blue hinterland. Humming is historical. Is it biographical, but no longer intimate? Or is it intimate, but no longer personal; that is, no longer a person? Waiting for a live one in a tortured landscape: humming. This is not Glissant talking anymore, this is someone else. This would be me. The notion of privacy is an intensely held public notion; quite the sacred notion, if a notion can be spoken about as sacred. This morning me and my notion tentatively called the Magistrate’s Court, passing through a number of institutional countrysides into the sacred countryside where the private matter could be dealt with. Then, more boldly, we called the Carpet Court. We ordered 59 kilometres squared of carpet. We wanted to lay it down and lick the ground, over and over again.


2

At some point I try to tally roughly how many times I texted ‘Leo is leaving this Monday’ or ‘Leo left this Monday’, usually prefaced with ‘I’m not sure if I already told you, but—’ or suffixed with ‘—I thought you should know’. Three times would have been ideal. I went for a walk at night in Lorne, at some point I thought to do it, as a context. Shape of the bay and shape of the moon, plausibly analogous. A plausible analogy. An old Italian man in my car is at me about poetics, because it takes me a long time to understand things I love. A woman eats a rotisserie chicken. One hand holds the chicken. The other hand, covered in a plastic bag, prises the flesh apart. Her mouth holds something key—the neck?—in place. I wear the new PSG jersey to the little bar they have here and the staff at the bar go absolutely nuts. They go absolutely nuts. Which was probably, somehow, key: the neck of the plan.

Last night on the phone to Cam he told me he was the Ian Thorpe of chillin’ and I said, yep, you’re the chill-pedo and we both laughed and laughed, because my god there were so many levels to it. Like, two levels! And then because I was already getting off the phone I said, how the fuck can you follow chill-pedo, and at the same moment Cam said, who the fuck can I call now?


3

The thing with protest is that it involves a lot of singing. Protest is the thing that involves a lot of singing. I am sitting on the Rathdowne St side of Carlton Gardens, near the corner of Victoria Pde. I have just finished work and I’m wearing my stupid work clothes, which protect me from being mistaken for a member of Extinction Rebellion, who set up camp here only a few hours ago only a few metres away. The XR camp is enclosed by an improvised fence made of washing line from which XR logo-ed tee-shirts hang. When I sit down, a trio of women are singing the Stop Adani song and I’m reminded of the claim I overheard once at a meeting to organise a protest immediately following the detention of DW embassy leader, DT Zellanach. Some guy in a wide-brimmed hat and hiking clothes was rifling through his soft briefcase full of sheet music, explaining to a pondy young woman that he is responsible for a number of the ‘current chants’, and that his authorship extends to ‘Coal, don’t dig it / Leave it in the ground it’s time to get with it’. I don’t know why I don’t believe this easily plausible claim. The same week I attended that meeting about DT Zellanach, a local squatter in the house near the bike track told me he is currently involved in several legal cases, including one with Jay Z for part-songwriting credit for Rihanna’s ‘Umbrella’. He told me this after asking me if I worked for the local council, thinking he was about to tell me to get fucked, concerned about the meaning of my work clothes. That claim about ‘Umbrella’ is a claim I am willing to entertain because it’s more entertaining and therefore more plausible.

A few police shift about in the park, looking embarrassed, perhaps by XR’s singing or perhaps by their own patrolling. They are humming, their own singing. I keep going to these things, though I keep reverting to this abstract journalism. Patrolling the singing, oh, the bloody singing: this is a wild desire to leave. Though we believe it when the protestors say this is an emergency.

There is a ‘smoking area’ that XR has set up near a river red gum outside the tee-shirt fence. On the back of a placard, the painted words say: ‘Smoking Area: Bin Your Butts!’ I stare at this sign for a long time. Under the river red gum, a young man and a young woman are slowly, but slowly, kissing. Last time I looked at them, before I began staring at the Bin Your Butts sign, they were simply staring into each other’s eyes, legs crossed. I can’t decide whether it is weird or completely unweird that everyone at the XR camp is white. I can’t decide if it’s weird that I wear a suit to work when there’s no dress code at work and basically no one ever sees me at work and, basically, I’m not even sure I’m really in work.

As I leave for my conventionally parked and recently washed car, I see the XR march coming up Exhibition St, singing the Stop Adani song. People clap on beat. People beat a drum. A police car parallel parks in the space behind me. The song sounds like what I imagine a dirge must sound like. Only now I realise I’ve never knowingly heard a dirge before. The policeman in the car scrapes his left wheels against the kerb. He nearly doors a cyclist. I have a feeling I shouldn’t leave. The feeling is a dirge.

As I drive away, the radio plays an article about how the number of volunteer firefighters has been in decline since Black Saturday, in part due to the trauma of that event, in part because the weather is changing in a way that’s unpredictable, so that no training can prepare someone to do this job. The weather is changing. Verrition, over and over: something so plausible I’m swept away.


CONCLUSION

The water in the kettle is dancing, says Leo. Can I use that, I ask.

Do you guys have any money, I ask. Cash money. Good point, says Mel, walking a $5 note to the man sitting on the ground in our path. Actually, I say, I want to go use the photobooth on the other side of the station. It only takes one- and two-dollar coins. Six bucks for four photos, I say. This is taken as a passing comment, because we never cross the bridge to the photobooth, not heading out west and not coming back east to the car.

We should go to the Skydeck when this is over, I say. The path to the Skydeck crosses our path, reminding me of the time I went to the Skydeck in a fever after speaking at the photography college. I’m afraid of heights, but sure, says Mel. That feeling of heights, explains Leo, is the body recalling a previous experience of falling. You feel it in your groin, I say. Yes, they both say. The past is a feeling in the groin, no one says.

Somewhere after Queensbridge we lose our bearings following the river west. In an alcove under the Bolte Bridge, a department relevant to the river or the bridge has left a notice on a door. Do not venture further, it says. We look at the West Gate Bridge, which is closer than we remember. It’s a destination we don’t make this day, but a few days later those boys will get there. It doesn’t make it to the news, but when they make the middle of the bridge, those boys start dancing.

Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

Farmer’s Ektara

Ektara, in the key of rebirth and revolution. Farmer flies on the back of the white horse to the beginning of our lifelines. I have forgotten to age. From the wound in the throat, I fish an old pumpkin, horsehair and bells. The lower octaves are stitched to the world below: black snakes on the red earth, communist manifestos and moods of indigo. The upper octaves are stitched to the world above: palms full of cowrie shells, misty mountains and the origins of love. I walk to the middle of the world without my face. I am just a thief in the rain. When two suns fall to sea, white horses come from the waves as mirror images, with our unborn children on their backs, signifying rupture in the upper and lower realms. We stand on one leg at the end of paradise, shrouded in gunpowder, poppy and equilibrium. We have always said to our two suns and our two lovers: I will wake before you rise so I can worship you. Our eyes open on the underside of the sea, beneath the flames. Farmer is biting into flesh, and sea, and the melody of the changing earth, in an old language only understood in skin and instrument. Our memories, our names and our borders burn with the sea. Between two suns, the ektara synchronises with the dead. We pray to the faces of our unborn children. Our love for them is sublime. The ektara is blue. The road is red.
Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

Landscapes, with Poem

i.

The first vision: it was prehistoric,
the gargantuan ferns reflected in what he called
a billabong. We didn’t know what it heralded,
wider than the promise of platypus
the arresting half-risen stumps of drowned giants,
when on we gingerly picked through mud
in our ill-prepared shoes
I had wanted to visit the lake for years
for years I had been alone, on the misty drive to Forrest
had braved the unsealed road only once
and then only halfway, afraid of being a girl Where is Yugoslavia?
without reception, and all that Past the curatorial intent.
forest
It can dwarf you.
The light hardly reached. The rainbow horizon
had closed in, where we had wound up from the breakers,
the unrelenting open-mouthed dominion of surf
into which we could

Always be afraid. Awe
that is what lives on this continent, not small things:
the footprint of a megasaur, among whose reeds
a duck.


ii.

Echuca: the barges are busy with incantation.
The word spiritual drops from the mouth of a woman
for the first time, into the river.
It sinks, upon this scratchy red-gum churning course
with its load of goods, with memory Where are the bags of flour?
of its load, of goods, when Bush was Frontier. Past the curatorial intent.
Spirit is the frontier. I am not Australian.


iii.

A windowpane of light above the descent of evening
I know there is memory in that, grasped in the outline of trees,
the white peaks of waves in the distance beyond the pier
in echoes I must now explain in words, for poems
stuck to windowpanes, where Christos left a tiny shark
hanging from the hook of his fishery, the globe of its right eye
a dead glass encased in gelatine. Here is the poem,
this self-reflexive patterning. He was ousted by the market
driven past the day’s catch, and we – readers of line-work, augurs
who stopped for those taped-up faded handwritten
notes of ascent Where is it written?
stop now for our reflection. It shows us real life Past the curatorial intent.
the strain of offices, coffee, catastrophe in the mouth.
Down by the swing bridge, the estuary cuts, cuts the sand
continually rewriting the moon.


iv.

“If one no longer has land but has the memory of land
then one can make a map”

All this whiteness makes me cry.
I seek succour in a Vietnamese fabric store,
that conjures a land adjacent to another adjacency In the dot and the line
and so on, riding a carpet that might take me closer that say to me, Nothing.
to the places adjacent to my dreaming.
In Magic Dollar I say to the woman, You have everything
东西, that lie between East and West.
Her door is interval, sluice gate, through which my heart
predates concepts, nicely rounded out.
Somewhere مرجان is the name of a girl
mounted on a plinth. I am waiting, like the stolen,
for a handful of earth in my coat.


Notes:
东西 = dōngxī (thing), composed of the Chinese characters for East (东, dōng) and West (西, xī)
مرجان = Marjon/Marjan (Farsi)
Section iv epigraph is a quote from an unnamed source at the Jewish Museum of Australia, St Kilda

Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

Mangroves

We hear their voices echo across the estuary
fathers, mothers, and children fishing,

an old man with a cane walks up the steep track
a lyre bird is scraping among the ferns

Every imagined finch, and the whip bird’s call is a guess
you spot the dry cormorant, self-grooming

and tell me stories of canoeing the Lane Cove River,
your mother’s compassionate eyes, the ancestral home

at Greenwich, asking what patch of blue is the sky?
Cornflower, I say, though later, it turns an eggshell blue

Later, in the blurred catastrophe of phone cameras
evening bruised me with lost childhoods

We talk about nuclear emissions, the sharp air
how many lives destroyed before Putin’s tyranny is spent?

The mangrove leaves glitter despite toxic chemicals,
rising sea levels, microplastics in storm waters

No one is to blame for the moon’s abrupt, ironic face;
a shadow drawn over my incurable days

Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

Kintsugi Illuminated.

I thought I had written much more meaning than I really had, and I think of Faust and pacts and graves that are opened and floor stains of blood that can never be cleaned—and all this seems possible, but I don’t understand how so little meaning is interpreted. For it seems, in truth, that when I realised my failure, I had contrarywise hit a vein and many pilgrims came in procession with incense and song, dancing around what I had harvested.

I have checked for poison, knife wounds, pills, or noose and have found no footprints that lead to the erasure of words. Did words dream themselves into a phantom army, luscious and responsive to the dance of fingers? I am in awe of their absence, of the meagre volume of creation.

I make gestures at the librarian—two fingers in the mouth is the sign for a pagan heretical text—a gagging gesture without making a sound alerts the librarian to my desire for such a text. I run my aging hands over foolscap, reimagining it as papyrus, vellum or the more highly prized paper made from the uteruses of aborted calves. Interpretations of said texts are forbidden, lest I crave the desire to edit them. Most however are burnt, though some have survived.

Cracks appear in the skulls of monks who make it back from glimpsing the other realms, much like newborn fontanels’.

There is gold that fills in the hairline fractures of broken plates, and gold to be poured into the space where bodies are drained of all tears, and gold to blind the last days when words had meaning.

Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

Hay fever

This is the feeling when I climb inside you. Like holding egg yolks in my baby hands. Always cutting my fingers on the grater.

This is the beginning, but it feels like an end. You say, once this is over, like we’re living inside something.

A thing that is constantly happening. The wide open, the gaping mouth. The way it eats without seeing, without touching.

The way I look for it with my eyes closed, and only my hands are there, grasping on cotton buds and stalks of wheat. And what is my name except a sound that means me?

The first fire of winter that smokes up the lounge room. All our windows covered in frost and grass crunching underfoot.

Balling newspaper and collecting pinecones next to the highway. Running outside and carrying in wood, covered in splinters. I can’t help but snap the roots.

When I crack my chest open, and all of this is inside. The drought is long since over and the rain makes everything smell like eucalyptus.

The riverbank is primed for camping, though we’re not allowed to light fires anymore. The mulberry tree is full of fruit, and we make jam.

I say I made this for you. And maybe it is enough.

Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

Wind

When you are
at your loneliest

you are this wind
at work

being itself
nonstop

Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

the password is: “Love you for 10,000 years”

but it’s not undying1; let’s not give it
forever. i just want to make time a little stretchier.

in this kind of love: my body hurtles towards the ceiling at 2 a.m
with the fan on the highest setting, and everywhere
is a wish-come-true:
11:11 in your lower lashes,
11:11 gathering in clouds of ants under a rock. at 11:11,
“i love you” sounds like static electricity when it clings to
a lightbulb. flicker on & off & on
& off & on & on & on &&&

i touch your cheek in the dinner broth and your oily reflection
films around my finger. i interpret that as your way of saying
“i want you to be the person who reminds me to do Duolingo
every night before we go to sleep”.

i’ve been sweeping the bathroom floor for days—your hair
finds impossible new places to hide. you interpret this as
my way of saying “it feels so beautiful but so heavy to write about you”.

in this kind of love: i am becoming a better listener, and i
stare out the window way more now.
same song on repeat:
it’s you, it’s you, it’s you i was dreaming of

2

in this kind of love: when i finally get my wisdom teeth removed,
your name runs tiny circles around my scalp: zip zap zip zap zip zap
zip zap as the room spins. fuzzy little syllabic currents
and my brain is a heavy balloon bouncing against the wall.

in my anaesthetic haze, i forget to recognise you,
and try to hit on you, clumsily, again & again & again
& again
promising:

thiiiiiis much. i love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much.

Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

The Hanging On

First day. My father tracking one axis
deer. Tomorrow morning a fallow.
Come evening I’ll make fire and char the
meat for eating. My hands are good
at that now. Turning one thing to another.
I want to describe how once
this was the only place I could be what
I was but today what I want is to
go wherever my daughter is, in the years now
when the sun freckles her arms and dirt
cakes her fingernails. But that’s a feeling
I don’t have nouns for. I was the same age
when I watched my father take an axe to
the fox with a paw in the foot trap. The sound
that left it frightening rabbits from their warrens.

Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

Untitled Wild Geese Game

[sorry Mary Oliver] [sorry House House]

you do not have to be good
(you are horrible)
you do not have to walk on your knees
(you have no knees) (your feet are webbed)
for a hundred miles, through the desert repenting
(only a few miles, it’s a village after all, and
it’s a lovely morning and
you are a horrible)

thinking about who gets to be bad

like geese … or some children
or some leaders
and their closest followers. very few
of the people I know enjoy
the grace of mistakes.
they’d probably love a gentle historical
wave of the hand,
less assumed responsibility, less criminal glance,
less epigenetic markers of this or that
shithole country of origin stress –

Honk! Honk!

thinking of knees, thinking of scraping them,
getting my fifth tetanus shot – why’d the brits leave
so much scrap metal – was it our own fault – we should
have cleaned it up
– and
pinching the puffy permanent scar from my third-world vaccine

it’s hard to make good decisions when you want to be bad

stealth mode, if only

relatedly, sometimes I’m tempted by dominion
over the prairies and the deep trees
the mountains and the rivers
but then, I remember:
the world doesn’t offer itself to our imagination

Honk! Honk!
choose smaller.

<<if we make a wrong decision, everything will turn to absolute dust>>

so I’m letting the harsh animal of my body, like –
so I’m complaining all the time, cute –
so I’m pissing angrily in my own toilet, ew –
so I make this farmer cry, wah wah,
the chud,
and I steal all the bells, ALL of them,
for my very own special ditch,
the village has no clue but yes, the rumours are true, it is me:

~ the most horrible, the most best, the most wildest of goose ~
~ I’ll never be lonely again ~

and then I’m walking the few metres up and down
our tiny carpeted apartment, and you’re
off to another appointment, in the crumbling animal
of your own body, and you’re saying something like
well, when we were young we didn’t have
all this, and the rice, the grains, if you trace them back,
were of poor quality, the best exported elsewhere,
for the empire?
and now all these illnesses, I guess I guess

I can barely hear
I just want a new noise that’s all, um:

Honk me to the moon!
Let me honk among the stars!
Let me see what honk is like on
Jupiter and Mars!
Weightless and unflappable – probably!
(in the history and family of things)

Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

let it be known

let it be known that I witnessed the valley.
imprinted grass like the coast of ritual
washed & walked on & two friends, two lovers
bleated at dogs. here lies a shadow
let it be mine, I say. let it shed warmth.
I stick twigs in holes when friends tell me
of snakes & walk on stones kissing in the dark.
I measure time by sun stripped
on scoured bark, how it traces its hand
over its eyes & closes them
like a lover at a funeral.
when the day finishes, I feel the need to speak.
to break the bread when the light hesitates
to reach out & hold it, just once.

Posted in 107: LIMINAL | Tagged

Translation and Experiment and Translation: Some Girls Walk Into The Country They Are From by Sawako Nakayasu (and Friends)

Some Girls Walk Into The Country They Are From by Sawako Nakayasu
Wave Books, 2020

f

This review concerns poet Nakayasu’s most recent major collection (as of March 2022), the self-translated adventure that is Some Girls Walk Into The Country They Are From (2020). Some Girls is one of the most advanced realizations of an experimental writing practice informed by modernist approaches to literature explicitly between languages and sensitive to a multilingual compass. Global poetries today go far beyond the masquerade model of deliberate and scholastic language translation Ezra Pound developed by way of the persona. We now live in an Anglophone sphere of intercultural and interlingual normalcy in which lived realities reflect multiplicities and changing frontiers of language.

In keeping with this more sociological shift in the language of poetry today, Some Girls happens to be a social enterprise. The book is a multi-author/translator as well as multi-lingual work, involving the work of poet–translators Miwako Ozawa, Karen An-Hwei Lee, Kyoko Yoshida, Kyongmi Park, Hitomi Yoshio, Lyn Xu and Genève Chao, who translate poems that themselves comprise the collection. This decentralisation of author-ity, of origin-ality, and of individual-ity makes the persona concept a very distant forebear to the new directions in translation and invention found here. Today, under the direction of Nakayasu, the logic becomes the dynamic palimpsest, and the swarm. Poems reappear, disappear, translated into French, Japanese, retranslated into English, but also deliberately various idiolects and accumulations, all in order to dissolve the binary of linear transmission between two counterparts. When we live between languages in parties of translation and generate poetry by it, what becomes of the designations ‘author’ and ‘reader’ then? Nakayasu, one of the most important translator–poets of our time, provides us with some new directions.

Say what is the smallest unit of translation, say word, say syllable, say phoneme, say orthography, say hand-writing, say breath, say the particle of thought preceding articulation.

Say what is the largest unit of translation, say poem, say book, say all the books, say everything they ever wrote, say everything they never wrote, have yet to write, say the transit between everything they ever wrote and everyone who ever reads anything they ever wrote, or say something larger more vast.

(Say Translation is Art 5)

These principles of translation hypothesized in Say Translation is Art (2020) explain some of the innovative ideas about writing that orient Nakayasu’s rescaling of authorship and creativity post-translation. Nakayasu deconstructs, in other words, what it is that undergoes translation when translation might be said to happen. That “what” belongs to all poets: the subatomic, synaptic emergence points of word. Transposition is the most commonly-assumed role of translation, and that is quickly deconstructed here. Some Girls, a book of poems ‘authored’ by Nakayasu, embraces and empowers these sites of supposed untranslatability – ‘breath’, ‘particle[s] of thought’, book context, oeuvre context, cultural placement – popular with language purists. Indeed, Nakayasu’s own curriculum vitae points to the ways in which reassessment of translation’s place in the context of language art might stimulate new ways to experience language. We are familiar with the modernists who in the twentieth century resituated translation as the wellspring of new poetics. Those wishing to be familiar with twenty-first century directions would do well to observe Nakayasu’s endeavours.

Nakayasu, a Japanese-American poet who has lived her life both in the US and Japan, whose first book was published in 2002 by transpacific publisher Tinfish Press and whose latest book is published by innovative publisher of contemporary poetry and poetry in translation, Wave Books, is one of the outstanding translation innovators of the day. Crucially, Nakayasu is the renowned translator of Japanese modernist Chika Sagawa, a project of two decades, and most fully compiled in The Collected Poems of Chika Sagawa (2015). Sagawa has been a lesser-known modernist figure in Japanese literature until now, but whose translation to English by Nakayasu has meant a complete reappraisal of modern Japanese literature. Then, more recently, Nakayasu translated Yi Sang, the radical Korean poet a part of whose output was written in Japanese during colonization (2020). Nakayasu has been attracted to translation projects that themselves question our presumptions not only about translation and intercultural literature, but about writing and language themselves. Some Girls testifies to what such a career in translation can bestow upon a writer’s authorial and linguistic consciousness.

Posted in BOOK REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , , ,