God’s good old China

Everywhere you go is walking under heaven.
In those ruins east of Pusan Road
where the Shanghainese had homes before the Chinese Dream,
in that block of broken houses and farm fields run wild
locked in by that white-washed propaganda-picture-bearing wall,
there where old enamel floorboards
which were someone’s pride some twenty years ago
show a pair of foot-square patches through the rubble
like a pair of perfectly good teeth
from a skull lost in the grass in an old warzone
carried by the ants up on a hill
where on inspection by the ant officials who inspect all things
the teeth were found a useless kind of thing
and so they threw them down,

there God lives on Earth in China,
having left the West for good when finally it got to him
that all his warmth of love for all the world
cannot unsay the saying that
if God lived on earth people would break his windows.

But where is an almighty God supposed to live if not on Earth?
Is the Lord to live in outer space?
Shows how much you people love him!

So God went to live with the good old
domesticated and heartbroken Chinese ghosts and devils
(heartbroken at abandonment by their domesticating ones
who either never read the Little Prince
or never took it seriously
that we become responsible
for the ones we have domesticated)
and there God rented out a home
from the Howling Ghost Real Estate Agency,
a good brick plaster kind of home
with a second-story balcony and all
and a big vegetable patch outside
to potter about in late evenings after work,
last in line nearest the corner with the security booth,
and in the booth there is a paramilitary uniformed guard, guarding
(in case someone might come in order to disturb their dreams, I guess,
with foreign propaganda or a stolen parking space among the reeds,
or must not ghosts and devils also dream the Chinese dream?)
by staring at his screen-phone day and night, the ghosts and devils
who live in that long line of growling, moaning, doorless homes
windowless and full of shapeless rubbish
and dark, oy, when has it ever been so dark
except in the beginning, when the earth was void,
as they say in the book, and shapeless and the spirit of God
moved upon the surface of the deep?

Well, that was in the book, but in real life, a house
with a good wood door, a blue
screen-phone-colored light low in the second-story window,
white Honda sedan parked in the mud outside,
that strange security booth with the paramilitary black-shirt guard inside
installed in symbol of the senselessness of the primeval chaos
by the Bodhisattva who is boss of Howling Ghost,
and an unbarking St. Bernard dog running back and forth along the nearby river
which moves mysteriously like the spirit of God upon the waters:

this is how God lives now in a place
where at least they will not break his windows, where
when curious folks, strangers to the place, come stumbling in the heaps
of to the people once-important
now abandoned rubbish still important to itself,
he goes out on his Chinese motor scooter to investigate.

A balding short old village uncle type
you will not meet much off the mainland,
beer paunch, open black polo shirt
and friendly smile as easy to mistake for a policeman’s
uncomfortable tricks as he himself for a detective
in his black polo shirt with the big rhombus on the left side of the chest
which looks like a police badge in the dark.

And when he offers you a smoke
remember that we meet God’s face in every stranger,
remember and do not do as I did.
I with my fear
that every stranger works for the police.

Do not say, No need.
Just accept.

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

Psalm 19b

Let me stand at a door that opens to ocean
ride on an orca under water, then up and out of it
leaping. Let me call to forests a name they’ve forgotten
their leaves breathe a breath from the mouths
of all children. Let me dive from a mountain
despite fear of falling, let the snow that I fly through
be skin that I land in. Let me river the windows
on skyscraping offices while clouds get in shape
for a priceless economy. Headlights in traffic are eyes
full of wisdom, let me get out of my car and walk
with the billions in a line that leads to a clifftop cottage,
it fits all of us, easy, we listen to the story of living
words like an ocean stood up in and opened.

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

The Mechanical Garden

To think, to know that this precise angle of light, this hue of
sunset dripped all over the marina, and this turn in the convo
were all caused, to a microscopic t, to the slightest twist of

All paths turn curves and lead in straight astray plot, by the Big
and branching to the mechanical garden Bang, completely and
where photon cogwheels tinkle down a ray without remainder;
merrygreen as chlorophyll molecules harden that this includes
where Ben Joe John Alexei Stephen Katia all internal sensation
and I throw a recurring poetry party and experience. The will is
where in the garden library the teas unwilled; it is self-coercive.
are spiked a tooth so you feel more at ease I am not at liberty,
but if you peer into the deepest wellspring I am not at liberty to
you reach realization past all helping change my will, I am to it
into the nature of the mystery seemingly a voluntary prisoner,
where myriad particles just bounce around since a free choice is
along the great pipeline of destiny in fact a compelling absence
where no foothold of freewill will be found. of it. “The illusion of
what the English call the free will,” as the Indian prophet put it.
And since I’ve freely willed to own no assets, there’s no leaving
a will in the other sense, save for the small comforts of a poem.

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

Fishers of Men

Fishing provides that connection
with the whole living world.

—Ted Hughes

The buoys hang wet between small crosses
Of clotheslines in a stubborn lean;
The creak of wood on wood and bolts pitted with rust,
The nets slump in exhaustion
Like hammocks and drag their toes.

In bare light, I peer through bleary wooden panes
As Larry unloads his night’s toil;
Some pilchards, salmon, a few yellow-fin bream,
Boxed in by handfuls of ice,
Leeching swirls of blood and coagulant.

He’s tired; his arms licked with salt
And heavier from the spray,
His body incised by three hernias—last year’s Jewfish
That hooked him to a bed for weeks.
Now, the fish boxes are half full

And leave pockets of air between each stack
In the chest freezer. I visited that evening;
His arms in electric hum—bottlebrushes of fibreglass
Sanding an upturned hull.
He’d murmur old stories like photographs

Of my grandfather; beach fires, jacket potatoes,
Al’ foil wrapped fish and the town
Before the servo re-dressed as a bed and breakfast.
Tar had brought Sydney-siders
Down for summer and he’d ask how father

Took the loss—how lung cancer trawls the body.
I’d mumble a nod, fixed on the roll of hands
Over ribbed body, drawn to the fountain fall of fibres
And the closeness of the fibro hut.
The wind drew in the night

Like the turn of venetian dowel;
Old nets bundled in the outhouse,
The smell of morning—a memory soaked in the grass,
Two gulls skittered along a galvanised gutter
And I caught glints in the tidemarks of his eyes.

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

thylacine

it’s like someone told me once to lean into the pain
now i am always leaning into the pain

i am leaning in too much

i am sticking my neck out and playing chicken with pain
i am shouting come and get me cunts to pain

you let me dive recklessly into your life
despite your severe and life threatening allergies to sentiment

you are macaulay culkin in my girl
and everything i say is bees

i say a minor catastrophe
could do you so much good

we are signing an extended lease together
the same time each of us are buying one-way tickets
to separate continents

it’s like the concept of not waking up next to you every morning
feels like being dragged through miles of broken glass
but it seems senseless to labor the point

it’s like i love you in the way
that my brain is yet to process you will one day die
like you casually mention you won’t live forever
and i feel a deep searing betrayal at the suggestion

it’s like hello
nice to meet you
are you mad at me

it’s like our wedding day arrives after years
and it seems necessary to ask if you actually like me
or if you’ve just been excessively polite
for a worrying length of time

if this was a complex joke
you’ve been pulling for several years
at the expense of basically all other aspects of your life

come and get me cunts

anyway

it’s not that i want to be validated
by external sources

it’s just that
have you looked at the internal sources

i want you to love me in such a way
that it positively baffles modern science
sending lab-coated professors into fits of utter bewilderment
as they crunch the numbers on our courtship with abject futility

i want you to love me like love is a thylacine
and despite credible evidence of total extinction
we’ve discovered the last surviving one
and killed it

i want you to love me
like i am always leaning into the
pain too much come and get me cunts
and you’re not scared by it
or feel an embarrassing need to make me feel better

like you’ve accepted that we can’t make anyone feel better
we can only make them less alone
and even then who knows how much or for how long

i want you to love me like i’m not a project
you hope might one day achieve sustainability

i want you to love me like it’s no big deal

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

Another View

Landscape and jacaranda — Grace Cossington Smith

Is she sitting?
Or is she standing?
In the open air.

No, she is sitting.
Her eyeline lifts towards
the flowering.

The sun is behind her
but I cannot see
her shadow on the grass.

Time of day is strange.
It could be almost any time.
It is overcast.

Within reach of the house
within which she lived
the most of her life.

Are there footsteps in the hallway,
a clattering, a chinking
in the kitchen?

But she tinkers on. I am imagining
a foldaway canvas stool.
A palette.

Today the very day
the jacaranda begins to slough
her purple mantle.

Every profligate year
until it might as well be
this year as hereafter.

There the sudden slope of doubt
that falls away
into the unforeseen.

Nothing ever quite comes off,
nor should it.
Mountains looming.

I am standing at the tip of that slope
looking back at you,
Grace.

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

On the Shoalhaven

Across the lacquered varnish
of the river, rain comes dimpling
the surface with a sibilant hiss
like the sound of fat sizzling.

Old boulders have come down
hill to examine their own unshaven
reflections in the mirror, come down
from the places they left a millennium

ago, a moment in the ongoing stillness
of boulders. Other rocks have also
escaped their portraits. In contrast
the fleeting water follows

its memory embedded in the river.
The life of shifting sand,
submerged tree trunks which never
stay still for long, these turn and

lean to the current’s bidding, all
with a singular purpose. This far
upstream where salt water stalls
and dilutes itself with air,

small whirlpools play about
the snags beneath. The broken
illusion of tranquility merging to the right
like a long, sweeping brush stroke

gliding to its vanishing point
where rare stuttering frogs read the news
to each other, and the water’s faint
gossip around the bend continues

on beneath a distant bridge. Soon it will
dissolve with time, nudging downstream
to the coast. Too late for the speed
boats who, tomorrow, will return

and cross the river Styx like a rip
down the centre of the canvas, stitched
up with mud and melting spit
giving form to a great amnesia.

The ripples will soon subside,
the boulders quietly exhale
as the river accepts the inward tide
of a world reverting to scale.

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

WHATEVER U LIKE

after Jane Bowles

everywhere somewhere
a woman complains in a supermarket
but the gold
in our sleep sustains us
no body believes
one bad thing can happen after another
no body can be a dog in their own dream
which means no body can be a dog forever
pleased in our despair,
does anyone need reusable bags?? we scream. i have 57
unkind men fail to love us.
lovely idiots, we go on with our songs
singing rococo, of lavish towels, strawberries,
broken bottles, little crystals
we lie back, nervous as cats, enjoy the haul
we have our health….
we open the windows to a soubrette
screaming in a romance language
something about — the price of cigarettes, strawberries, the recordings,
dexamfetamine, the abortionists, the vivid machinations of the statesmen and the fish
piled stinking along the river, the emails,
the dogs —
we shut our doors. we say what in fuck’s name
was that
we do not speak a word of french
we sing instead — come the revolution
come the revolution it will turn out right, burnishing the rusted
taps of our kitchens, come the revolution come now do not vex yourself
with the screaming, life is difficult enough,
come the revolution to follow our dreams
will not make us victim to our nightmares, come the, we will not cower
in our timed out shopping carts like frightened rabbits, come, some of us, will be spared,
though some of us will not, have not been spared a single thing,
come the second tragedy we will combat the first tragedy
which has been curdling within us, we will flee
from the second to the third tragedy, giving the impression of motion,
also, we remind each other, remember “tenderness”
remember that without imagination, reality is peaceful,
remember that all you really want is a bearable life. and no, you do not know
where the cockroaches go at night, or
what menace is present, in the room, with you now,
or what gutter puppies wait
for you to spill the milk of your human kindness, or whether
you should guard it like a wolf
but you know that no body
can be treated like a dog forever
not even a dog

Material reworked from Two Serious Ladies and Blue of Noon.

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

Truva

Night after night the list of small entries grows. Once it starts it never stops. The land we tally was once a sea bed; we count the clouds reflected in the absolute flat sea, an arc of grey-green water, the number of times oars dip as ships seek shelter for the night, we count how many strong faces, the dark arms of the rowers. We count the silvered tangled mass of seaweed. We count those able to feel pain and joy. We count the ruins of summer palaces near beaches, walk to the small broken knob at the top of the hill, count the horde of stones beneath our feet. Olive trees, two creeks – all accounted for. Count the twists and turns, the limestone blocks through the dog-leg pass, the cobblestones on the Skiaian Gate, the graves cut into the face of a cliff. Along the canal we count paddling ducks, we count fields filled with the clack of bird scarers. We count brown leaves peeled off a stone. Looking past the benign surface, to be plain and simple, we drink from an invisible cup and stumble, taken-back promises are tried, tasted, counted and spat back out. There’s a crowd at the village notice board, a note ripped at the edges, going brown in the sun, ‘Count what you love.’
Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

Mirror

Sunday afternoon, gulping down the conversation
as if we’re in a heatwave and you are cooled water.
When I cross over do I become you? My breath
is sensitive, like photons, and I am lost in space
between where you end and I begin. As if we return
to ourselves after we are loved. We are forever
killing the things we find sweetest, like freshly
picked cherries and Sunday afternoons. When I cross
back do I lose you? If it were winter, things would
be different. There is no tethering chord for the next
few moments. Think of all the undiscovered planets,
casually dying from overheating. Fault lines create
opposition far too easily. The black cherries will never
be eaten. Swallow into night, and be done with it.

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

Springtime

The scent is the thing
redolent of absolute confusion

those spring days thick with parrots

the future all hands
and no face
it was the only thing that provided
comfort, then

I pressed a pain, like
marzipan, into a shape

I consulted
The Classical Order,
found it
unconciliatory and phallic

but I rode
in the volkswagen rabbit
and though I wanted to stay
in my corner of the Black Boar
tavern with its

tart strange beer and lecherous
hands on my waist,

it contracted behind me
until tiny, and distant as a
relative planet.

the Black Boar is closed now or
rather called some other name
which inspires no
commemoration.

I don’t live in the parrot
neighborhood anymore
and when, on Easter, Jesus slouches
harried down the street
I cannot see him.

My past plans:
for Aquarossa, a tiny
book

plans to find the right
song and the perfect
almond perfume

they hang humble
and bedraggled
like flowers surprised
by thirst

on a bough that sags a bit now
toward the ground

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

The Little Guys

After James Tate

A premium trolley had pulled up in aisle four and was accepting passengers for half price. Pierce Brosnan was pushing this one today and thousands were lined up in snaking lines that stretched out of the metropolis and into the shallows of the pastures. I was at the front of my line and a little nervous about being shrunk despite the reassurance of an overwhelming majority of medical experts. But I needn’t have worried. I sat down in the shrinking chair and then I was being lowered down onto a red carpet teeming with tiny, authentic paparazzi before I even felt like I was shrunk. I was encouraged to smash a camera that got too close and then I was ushered up a flashing ramp to my recliner seat. They had touch screens at the bottom of the cup holders. Through my Clear-As-Clear-Air Window® I could see the products of the supermarket enlarged to the size of modest skyscrapers. I would now have the luxury of ordering my shopping items while sitting in a velvet chair that could recline 160°, as soft as select rose petals of many select colours. And there was Pierce Brosnan from all angles live streamed, dwarfing even the wildest dreams of the ancient Egyptians, lightly forested hands resting idly on the trolley’s bar. The beginning of the journey went well. I bought some desert-poplar scented laundry detergent. I was feeling particularly adventurous and royal. Then an attendant sat down next to me. ‘They’re keeping us shrunk,’ she said. ‘Our contracts specified only periods of shrunkeness but they found some loophole.’ Her breath had a touch of low-grade donut batter. ‘We found out we all lived in the same town when they shrank it over a few days,’ she said. ‘Dog kennels, then step-parents, then the whole shebang. They’re ripping off us little guys. We’re going to revolt. We won’t just take the trolley, we’re going to take the whole damn country,’ she said. ‘Today we’re looking for little recruits. Today we’re going to shoot Pierce Brosnan in the eyes with hundreds of itsy-bitsy water pistols. We have big people on the big side with cameras. A sentimental scene will be orchestrated. When Pierce Brosnan is seen with a tiny river system running from his eyes people will not be able to help but think he is crying. Watch in your cup holders. You will see the power we are capable of wielding.’

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

Hope at the Gates Of

We wait for the odd angels to hear our prayers, wait so long
we’re not surprised when they descend clumsily and awkwardly like
large, winged elephants. When you’re this lost
you’ll take any type of salvation you can get, even if
the Messiah that shows up is dangling from a lowered rope
or has scores of helium balloons tied around His waist.

When the floodgates of Heaven finally open up
we’re all surprised to find we know people in the incoming crowd
who really don’t belong there, should not be in line
for eternal bliss or redemption. Rumors cycle
regarding possible payoffs and bribes, miscommunications of
the general Message, someone says your name
and laughs.

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

Evening Report

Restrictions don’t stop the sprinkler’s spray, begun well before the afternoon light.
Water droplets hang on the hills hoist like sweat on skin, the backyard
a heat-stricken waterpark. With hands in the kitchen sink
peeling potatoes, your mother watches out the window
yellowing curtains pulled back, like her finger-tangled hair, so she can call
to you and your brother when dinner’s ready. Behind her the news

reporters hum, static-trapped flies mimicking the ones in her sight. News
about the droughts and the floods and the fires that come with long sunlit
days radiate from crackling speakers. Outside, the dropping light hangs cockatoo
calls
over the races and games of tag your mother knows you’re having in the yard.
A breeze, too full of dry heat to be a relief, uses the window
to explore the house, and your mother’s laugh-lined face glancing down at the sink.

Her practised hands – wrinkled from the warm, potato-skin sink
water – don’t need to hold the phone cradled between her ear and shoulder, as her
own news,
less repetitive but more mundane than the TV’s, is told to a friend. Their lives a
window
for each other to see through and learn every detail: a bathroom light
has finally been fixed, the struggle to mow a backyard
lawn with a rusting mower, and the need to call

someone about clearing the gutters of eucalyptus leaves. Your mother’s phone calls
can last for hours, and you know that many of them take place at the sink,
making food and cleaning dishes, watching the free entertainment in the backyard.
She chops vegetables, and, during the ad break promising news
programs into the night, flicks on the kitchen light.
The embroidered curtains shift and blistering houseplants on the window


sill shiver from burning breath. Your mother will shut the kitchen window
when the night settles and only the cricket and cicada calls
remain. Until then, especially while the oven glows and the unchallenged light
lingers, everything stays open. She prays for evening winds that will sink
the house into a cool embrace, so the sporting news
of the day can be shared, both professional and backyard.

Overhead, early bats are spectators to the competitions in the yard
and your mother commits the image from the window
to memory. Her friend receives the picture second-hand; like all their news.
You and your brother will play before your mother calls
you inside, but that won’t be until after the sun sinks
well below its mountain grave, and only the open doors and windows give light.

And then, from the night-soaked yard you and your brother will clamber inside to
the bathroom sink,
barefoot and red-cheeked under the heatless light. The southerly will glide through
the windows
while your mother calls you good kids above the chirping of reports on the 8:30pm
news.

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

The Politics of Memory

Yet who would have thought the old man
to have had so much blood in him?

Hell is murky
Don’t look and check behind you
Eurydice is lurking
She’s following you out

Forget
Wash your hands in grey water
The sticky feeling lingers
This soap — there’s something wrong
The more you clean your fingers
The dirtier they become

Eurydice
Limping like a night-terror
Unexamined and undiagnosed
Unwashed and undead —
Unwatched, but not un-nosed

Europe is afraid of waking up
And finding a horse’s head
The size and shape of Africa
Lying in its bed

Hell’s memory is murky
In its shadows something gropes
You told them they were dirty
Then you made them into soap

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

The Zeitgeist

The night we arrived the porter announced
a body floating in the swimming pool.
It was humid, we’d hoped to dive in.
At ice cream parlours the mood was vibrant,
different from the sad old bourse.
The news channels delivered endless
stories – kidnappings and divorces,
obesity and immigration,
film stars and their anxious children.
Mostly, we lived on fajitas and rice.
The government buildings were boarded up,
people were hoarding machetes.
The surface was calm, the cars enormous.
I’d never seen more immaculate hearses.

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

Extemporaneous Rant for the New America

overheard in a college town pizza parlor

I don’t give a shit about what the little tune is for singing a haiku,
and I don’t want to hear your big, silly words about what’s lost

in translation. I know, and I will not stoop to count syllables
of English to mock a form that mocks us all. I don’t give a crap

about duende, German sonnets, arcane allusions, or any other
je ne sais quoi you don’t even understand and that means no more

to me than I am scrupulously denied knowing something only
you are superior enough to know. I wouldn’t care what a bunt

or an end zone or a free throw is even if those games meant
a damned thing more than boys will be boys until, at last, finally,

they fucking die, because we all know no one misses even one
of the aging fools who wastes time watching others win. I don’t

want to hear the stupid words some ridiculous Christian tagged
to “Greensleeves.” I don’t want to learn about the Mayan calendar

or the sanctity of prime numbers (except for 2) or one genesis
of language in Proto-Indo-European. I don’t want Stonehenge

explained to me. I get it. And I don’t want to listen ever again
to that third-rate musician next door practice licks on “Take Five.”

It’s jazz, you lackluster fuck; nobody knows how to do it right.
And I don’t care that you don’t care that I don’t care. Go wrap

yourself in the flag, get drunk, and crash your pickup into a pole.
You might as well extinguish one more light before you go.

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

Enough:Too Much

As a child,
I could never
catch the frogs
at the pond
across the street.
They jumped
before I even
sighted them:
splash & sound.
Knowing my love
for them, the boys
in my neighborhood
caught them
in my stead
and left them
on the concrete
slab we called
a front porch
smashed open,
their insides
like wet rope.

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

This abstraction

Up late this morning. ‘They’ are doing the
road outside, putting in traffic-calming
devices: trees in the middle of the road,
speed platforms, kerbs, marked lanes. Is this
how prize-winning poets write, stopping up
the voice with lines all roughly the same
length, occasionally enjambing? Oh, I forgot

to break up my musings into blocks
of three or four or five lines. Even
two lines is common. Every other
time is a space. You don’t have to
breathe anywhere in particular. Breathe

whenever you want. It’s flat like
what I suppose is the endless prairie, the
Nullarbor, the suburbs. The engines at 7am
going wherever they go. All the lines,
all the blocks (must I say stanzas?)

having equal status: the lowest. Yet the I
sits in the middle, the I is always at the
wheel. Her small electricity arcs in
the words, the figures, the juxtaposed
closely-read signifiers, and now and then in

an assonance. It’s a Plain Style all right.
Why is this the way, this abstraction of
calmed traffic? (Ending with a question, a
rising inflection, is, of course, not on.
You mustn’t go tooting your horn like that.)

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

Dandelions

now gone to seed,
looking for all the world

like aureoles around streetlamps—
you are a hair’s breadth

from a thousand decapitations;
ghost-heads floating on eddies of air.

I mistake you for a miracle
when Australia needs one:

starry constellations waiting to be born
in waste ground or the craquelure of concrete,

marvellous as shoots
on the charred limb of a tree.

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

Nocturne, Tonight

From the boathouse we speak of no one. With my foot on the water
I feel the moon outside. Angelo
has given birth to a horde of dragonflies, they come
in the night— they whisper

that the climate is changing, to splay my hips because anything
is changing.
I write to warn my family: Dearest Mother & Father
The terrain a womb, is splitting—there is little left and how will we eat.
I am still addicted to drugs. But don’t worry—
the air will dry up soon and all that will be left is this sandy road
that provides no relief.
No.
No sound of crickets, or hyacinths—
No sound
but the sound of dragonflies
and no relief. I came to expect more but there is little more
than my foot on the water
and the curved bone of this dying moon.

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

Miss Hooker

I don’t want to die, I’m ten years old and
I don’t want to die, I’ve barely begun
living but one day I have to, I mean
die, whether it’s tomorrow or ten years
from now or ninety, I may as well die
now
I tell the ceiling in my bedroom,
it will pass it on to the roof and may
-be the roof give it to the sky and may
-be it will float up to Heaven and God
will hear it, maybe even listen, may
-be even act and make me immortal
and never too old up until the end
which will never come. I told my Sunday
School teacher what I wish for – long for – but
she was angry and made me let her pray
over me to get the demon of self
-ishness
out but I don’t think it’s taken,
now all I think of are cool slender fingers
on my scalp, it’s summertime, and what to
do now that I’ve fallen in love. Tonight
I’ll pray about that – I’ll be up a while.

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

Insulae

Little to remember now but more stone floors. Another cot. The cold. The window looked onto the backs of older buildings, ochre mostly, faded, or fallen off. Inside all a chipped, thinning white. Tattered rolling blinds and a small corner table, covered with an oilcloth. A language as of yet unlearned. Rent, in cash, to be left in a bible. You were alone. Supposedly there was a daughter or distant cousin too, though you never heard or saw her. The building faced a bus terminus and busy intersection, cut, in one direction, by the tramline, in the other, a long row of simple ex-votos, cut by simple hands.




Most of the time you were in the kitchen. It was narrow, and looked onto a couple of trees, a few pre-fab high-rises tinged in blue. Bluish evenings. Haunt, hope, hue. Still the light was warm despite winter’s grey monotony: ice-rain, snow, frostblooms before your morning mouth, all the way up through May. The range was to the left, a corner bench tucked in on the right. On the table two empty teacups, half bottle, ashtray. Was there a plant? She had a cat. The radio was almost always on, tuned to a local station. You remained a guest.




This is the room you always come back to. Twin bed, shuttered window, tiny desk. The walls have stayed a pale pink, you think, the crown molding white, and the toilet’s behind a cheap accordion door, next to a handheld showerhead and drain. Across the street, palms and giddy cries from a parochial courtyard. The sky is soft October blue, and, from here, the main train station is just a few blocks away, like being young. It hasn’t been renovated yet, and the seer whose book you have with you isn’t dead. The seer you’re looking for, twenty years (but the distance between you and you now is longer). At first, of course, the city was a stranger. Soon after, the center. This is the room you always come back to. Here it is always warm, and everything’s just at the edge of beginning.
Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged

In Memoriam

One by one they all leave us behind
Walking into surf or slipping through trees they leave us
On long slabs of bitumen who created this language – we survive.

It seemed fitting that he should go forever
As the world turned away from the heat, and the long burn
Of the roads he knew so lonely sent him up.

Grass lines the verges. In summer the birds came down to eat the seeds.
They bobbed and turned like clowns, raucous and ready to scatter
Should the mower trundle out to mark its tenor on the season.

A chill crept out amongst the scrub
and all the lorikeets shuffled and thought of flying.
Across the headlands and promontory spikes

A metal roof threw the light back into evening.
Somewhere an engine hummed, and cows
by the roadside sent out a rumour in low moan.

His was an old sunlight. The falling quiet over grass that bends
With wind tunnelled by magpies. Their ventures
Sought the limits of the season. We waited for the blade to start back up.

Posted in 96: NO THEME IX | Tagged