Wharf Toward Winter

Then the spare melancholy
of a wharf toward winter: the island
opening the long view South
the wuthering of gunfire on wind

Safe in this cold anchorage
you can’t hear all the cries
you can’t hear all the gnashing
you can’t hear, can’t hear again

The Island of No is beautiful
grabbing its own to its own
beautiful at cutting the waters
and repeating the patterns, repeating

the patterns, its blow-hards scraping
the fronds from the crevices under the wharf
toward winter, the waves draining
out to the long view South…

The Island, its stealers-away
taking the light by force,
leaves the waves to die
singing of gunfire on wind.

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

Five Hundred Mornings

Mornings begin with a raven
and magpie lark shadow boxing
in winged profile –
my study of two forms,

framed in a square of light.
These companions – small,
tousled, analogous to coastal life
on roofs and aerials

counterpoint a bathing ritual:
I pray, proffered hands
sluicing water to wakefulness.
A lace skeleton, the morning

backlit with feathers
and burned coral edges.
No need to personify
the magpie lark as lonely refugee –

more an imprint of shadow
that darts and weaves,
shrieking its dissonance.
In this northern light,

birds bewitch with coded talk
over the dark form houses
tuckeroos printed in relief,
and a red-eyed warbler

chiming last notes. Raven,
magpie lark, windblown foam
and sea spray piled up –
soft collisions in every window.

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

The Storm

The storm catches on the door.
It’s a good sign, a surge that’s more than breathing,
that blows away dirt from reliquaries,
and directions from their careful signs.
It’s near speech and near trembling,
sky bringer fate crowning from its centre,
if there was a centre rather than millennia
of waves, segmentation, volcanic chemistry.
And all this chlorophyll blowing around,
that does not understand solitude
but certainly vortex and rage,
the made and unmade clouds, constant phantoms
and caprices, the moving walls.
There is no void.
There is future,
no matter which way breaks,
the branch we find fallen on the new plants.
It’s not a lucky escape from death, rust, abrasion, or bad thoughts
as I revise the possibilities within milliseconds.
A second doesn’t describe any thought.
A thought doesn’t show how I might want to run.
Time has nothing to do with what I hope to find
trembling in a gauge or written on a screen.
What passes is passing, and will pass.
If anything is eternal it is the motion,
as I step out to sweep what has gone and come.
The leaves make a noise almost as if
I was waiting for someone.

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

Haar

… I must go in. Memory’s fog is rising.
Selected Letters, Emily Dickinson

In the corners mould is blooming
like grey and black snowflakes.
Next to the window, white paint
blisters; water swells its skin.

On winter mornings moisture
ghosts the glass, announcing
the divide between outside
and us. Warm on the inside,

under this roof. A cat curled
up in the blankets. Hot tea
steams in mugs. The garden is wet
and glistening. It rained some time

during the night. When I rose
in the dark I heard the scatter
of drops on leaves. The lift
and fall of your breath. The damp.

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

Barns in Charlevoix

I like the barns, their air of constancy,
their un-renovated geometry, their wooden deshabille,
that they have high hipped roofs — and windows

set without regard to symmetry — that they are unpainted,
the wood grey or brown with age, with parts that lean in
or out, that some are abandoned but endure, that one

imagines the light inside — diffuse and murky
or the doors opening wide and a sudden shaft
of afternoon pouring like honey into dark tea

and the scent of hay and sweet apples on a high
shelf – the horse and cow smells fading,
old leather bridles, iron parts of farm machines,

sump oil, the ammonia of mice,
rough hessian sacks of chaff and bags
of chicken feed, that time here re-collects itself —

sleeps like Keat’s Autumn on the bales — and
does not wake but dreams of waisted frocks,
wide hips, foals, fiddles, harvest suppers.

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

Stir Your Best Lines

for Susan

if no line is less than twice
and two becomes one four becomes three
am i in a pantoum
warning a poem is coming

two becomes one four becomes three
i have been divided from sleep
warning a poem is coming
dementia can be gleeful

i have been divided from sleep
stir don’t shake those little grey cells
dementia is gleeful
somewhere I have travelled gladly

sir don’t shake
I am unsettled in a pigeonhole
somewhere I have travelled gladly
like a tourist in my home

i settle in a pigeonhole
where my best lines are someone else’s
like a tourist in my own home
let me crawl into a crevice

if your best lines are someone else’s
if no line is less than twice
let me sink into a crevice
i am in a pantoum

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

sting-along

there’s no point to owning a country
if you can’t look after your own hair
the tv burped the weeks broke up like packets
of biscuits we swept through them on the way
to the bus stop holidays were full of conjunctions
forget the piles of prepositions i ate crime novels
with a plate of siestas my signature slid around
like a post-mexican wave; the insects were almost
worse than centrelink on every windowsill after
dark the film about the poet with a neat little
notebook no crossings out was too cute for
words i got sunburnt in the shade between
the mango and the bacon the soles of my best
$200 sandals fell to pieces like archived echoes
during a free speech on heart attacks send
a photo to our address in the bible belt advised
the manufacturer the dog didn’t eat the housework
it just got lost time to vacate the vacation i forgot
that my new super dental floss is not an astral chord

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

The Dark Placebo

Placebo: if resolutions are like insights
I must make them only to lose them.
Do I lose more than can be made?
If things gained are better felt
when lost: their shadow falls
as the proof of things
worsening.

Placebo-fear is the strangest seduction.
Cold corners reach out just for you.
The cold wooden floor creaking
in the middle of the night. It
could be someone leaving
or entering. Inner winter
has its fever.

It’s all the other things that are not
the thing itself. Placebos as twins
of Ariel, Caliban. White as our
pills the white placebo will
duel our mind against
our body – invoking
the ghost of drugs
makes us well.

But dark placebo: hair rises on your neck
the dead the ghost as white as a pill
in the dark. And the dark placebo
makes your mind hallucinate
your body. So its taking
real drugs for nothing
makes you worse.

Nocebo stands giant as the blades of a wind farm
whirling dead eagles down into paddocks
inside us. Worsely better for its darkness…
It is the patron saint of masochists.
It’s the endless bad luck at cards.
Oh pity you, it insists, this is
the dark placebo’s
ghost.

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

Hook

I discovered a bird with a hook in its mouth,
which is really just a cheap opening line.
‘Cheap’ will evoke the sound of the bird.
Like me you have to question the point.
I’m tugging but it’s such a rusty hook.
I should’ve mentioned that from the start.
Find a gap higher up, try easing it in.
If it doesn’t fit come back and go on.
Where do you expect the bird to be?
I’ve made up a nest in the laundry.
There’s a friendly vet in a nearby village
but they’re called towns, this is not England.
So I wake at night with a drop feeder.
I’m having trouble but misspelt ‘trouble’.
Instead I wrote ‘ruble’, then corrected it.
That’s not an image, just a footnote.
Every strong line must snap somewhere.
And now we’re all stuck in the laundry.
What are the bones? A bird, an old hook,
or the audience in my head which is ruble?
Help! Your blasted shadow’s in the way,
something longs to be free from my grip,
twisting the hook of a made up bird.
No telling how to get you out.

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

Touch Screen

And like a scene in which the primitive
Enters the house and hardly comprehends
The way the masters live,
So do the first two days of ours unfold.
We look around wide-eyed,
Housesitting an apartment for some friends
In all its electronically applied
And hard-wired luxury, iPad-controlled.

A touch screen will indulge our every need,
Or idle wish—the merest thought of it
And we are remedied.
The lighting, air-conditioning, TV,
Blinds, awnings, radio,
Hi-fi: on/off, up/down, loud/soft—commit
A finger to the screen and it is so,
Our functions disembodied, virtually.

And then, outside those glass and (strange to tell)
Hand-operated heavy sliding doors
We strenuously propel
Apart to make a wall of vacant space,
The city is displayed
In panorama which our gaze explores
With an extravagance that’s half-afraid
We’ll blink and find it gone without a trace:

The glassy skyline among which St Mary’s
Presents a stone entreaty for the past;
There, skewering midair is
The tower of Centrepoint, positioned where
It claims the centre lies;
Pan right, the bridge and, not to be outclassed,
The Opera House, that permanent surprise;
The green approach to Mrs Macquarie’s Chair;

Closer, here are the docks of Woolloomooloo,
And, right below our eyes, the naval base,
At which the QM2
Appears one morning, and is gone the next,
As though it had not been,
Like something one might conjure and replace
With just a finger’s touch upon the screen—
A trick to leave us neophytes perplexed.

The light performs its spectral repertoire
From dawn all day to evening. In between
The perpendicular
And cut-out towers, insertions of midheaven
Will sometimes put on view
A slowly moving plane, which seems to mean
To glide by, not behind them, but clean through,
A floating revenant of Nine Eleven.

The harbour shifts its dazzle to and fro.
At night the Opera House appears to shine
With sunlight’s afterglow.
This hand I raise and stretch, is that to scroll
The image, or adjust
The settings to accord with our design?
Content as novices, we watch and trust
In what’s unfolding there beyond control.

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

Blueprint No. 1: Siemon St.

The only place I ever lived
alone, but slept myself out
of the memory. My room
crammed with king-frame
more manspread than bed-
spread – creamy linen sheets
but no quilt. The bed clothed
entirely in light. The window
doubled as front door. Thin
curtains lifted in the honey-
vinegar of swollen mangoes,
which split like lightning split
the street in two. Beyond,
wine-bottle storms doused
the room in green petrichor.
The night’s lapping tongue
and sleepless groove – an
inseparable expanse of lines.

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

The Secret Council of Raphael and Michael

A secret cave in the glacial
wastes
of gas and air stretching beyond all comprehending:
a light, tiny, unwavered,
the faint glow a beacon to that
chiefest coven of principals, prior
to the fall the greatest array
of lordly wings in Heaven.
Lit down lonely in secluded arrival
the five dominions accepted by
the cavern, gather in quiet counsel
with Raphael and Michael.

With grave and self-made drama
the Chamberlain relates the scene made
by Satan at their door
earlier that day.
Murmuration and constrated faces
the archangel turned to speak:

“If that time should come, an
angel fallen reclaim Heaven,
no god nor crucified may hope
to save us. He coming home
turns off the light; it is over, once
the prodigal returns. The world
is nothing but a test
for evil to do its worst. The lord
created Earth as a battlefield for us
to contest. But if ever the enemy
succeeds in crossing it entirely
we are lost. All creation will cave
behind him, lost stars fall, collapsing
in his wake,
and Earth too.
This babe is nothing but a ruse; whatever
the truth of his remorse, immovably
the fact persists: by any way
should Satan regain Heaven,
we are lost.
We must drive him back. Like the
legend of Magonus, let us gather
sticks, clubs, to beat the serpent-in-disguise
and guide him back to Hell.”

“You mean to kill a child?”
this duke of Heaven near faints away
and Raphael is pained. “This
is no child. This is Satan, unrepentant,
intent on fooling God.
He cannot win
by force, and so he seeks by guile
to corrupt the natural order, to swindle our sweet father
in allowing him return.
What then? What would happen to the princes of Heaven,
to God’s Right Hand, if his first right hand regrew?
Where will we go, we who opposed with righteous fire
his usurpation all ages before? If God forgives him
need that mean he forgives us? Nowhere is that written.
No time was that said. Satan remains Satan, enemy to all,
intent to destroy creation, everything
he cannot have or own.”
“What would you have us do?” one junior in the hierarchy
filled with urgent zeal.
“Watch, for now” said Raphael “and wait for that time
when we may press and turn him away
from his paradise.”
Their leader drew in dirt around their feet: “For now
this child must know disconcert, synchronous
with natural harmony. Make him displeased
to exist in his skin, make him a mocker
of all he belongs.”

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

These Hills

that enclose my days, open up ahead, like a book.
And I watch a ship on the sea’s blank page – a fugitive
full stop – write itself into refracted light

and vanish. Clouds blot and then tear across
the sun. Bees scrawl in the long petals
of fuchsia heath bursting from rocks

like asterisks. Walking here, I saw the forest
flowers beginning to open. What offering
can I make on a hard winter’s outer edge, word

thin, hands empty? This overhang offers me
its scripts of moss, its winking stone. It steps into blue air,
above a drop that would crumple me like paper.

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

Blackberry

for Robert Hass

spring abrupts
like an open palm
walk through redfern
stop to watch jasmine spill
again & think of yr grandmother
pink fragrant naturalised
climbing the scraptractor
at the gardentop
the beggar replies to an empty hand
it’s just good to see you happy
& wonder again
how far things have gone

looking across heidelberg
from der philosophenweg
its dawn
a bruised ecstasy of words
resumes trestles –
after psychosis its winter
a sparse snow
descends a valley
each word returning an elegy
firtree snowflake tiergarten cigarette
their loss their loss their loss
again
dubiously pended
anonymous snow

at the hauptbahnhof
a flock of rosering parakeets
call unmistakably
the greenest thing in words
mutter geographies of songbird lineage
& what symphony of error
what lyrate slippage
pilgrimed
your feral song?

the antipodal drift
slips another arc
death in a missed wingbeat
lose time give it
now again is openpalmed
welcome eclipse welcome
jasmine
remember love
love everything lo——

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

Reservoir

Sleeping in its brick tabernacle
the still water is like an ear or radar dish
attuned to distant pulse. Incurious,
we’ve walked forever to school and work
past locked gates. The saw tooth roof
gives nothing away but scission with sky
and though the key-hole draws the eye, the pupil
contracts. Inside, a herringbone of oak beams
and rafters hovers over the water’s weight
and repose. Beyond the inscrutable iron fence
the street’s steep uphill/ downhill zeal;
urban windows; the domestic race
of breakfast, phones and life and birth and death.
Inside this null and void this leave no trace
the morning sun has picked the lock,
entering through a gable’s little porthole,
bending light with its oblique know-how.

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

The Fall

for Ella

I can tell you, when your horse began to slip
she tried to pull you and herself back up.
But once she slid and lost her footing,
you both fell into the law of gravity
and came down hard upon the rain-soaked grass.

And in that moment, under the shockwaves
of a cold calm, I froze then ran with fear
as the freeze-frames reeled out —
you lying, pinned to the ground,
bearing the weight of your fallen mare.

At your side, I looked into the flared
whites of your eyes and calling your name,
watched your body tremble then jolt into a fit.
My heart sunk with a despairing dread,
a silent scream — Not you, not now.

I stayed kneeling, wondering whether
you were holding your breath or trying to breathe.
I scanned for bruising, broken bones, for blood.
I counted the seconds of your oblivion
and in a blind panic, even thought of prayer.

But when your body discharged the last volt
with a kick and you spoke, surfacing to air,
I cupped my hands beneath your head,
spelling out the calm and colour of words.
As I held you on this side of the line that balances

love and loss with life and death, I pictured
your brother slipping by immeasurable degrees
through air and water, and thought of the ceaseless
eye of grief glaring at your mother and father.
By then, it didn’t matter that the stir

and gaze of onlookers had crowded in
or that the spinning blades of a helicopter
throbbed overhead. What mattered was closer
to ground, and that the names of those you called
were there or on their way. Your horse,

limping, pressed her nose through a huddle
of bystanders, and with all the common
naturalness that comes from the animal bond
of love and need, tenderly bent to sniff
at your face, as you lay there in the wet

like a newborn foal. Walking back to the spot
later and seeing the muddy relief of your heel
near the hoof prints that lead toward your own,
I stood weighing up the cost, wondering
if it was luck or misfortune, or whether the law

of averages was simply taking stock of its toll.
I thought of how lucky you were and despite
the risks, remembered your overriding words,
“It’s in my blood,” and how every bone
within you has been marrowed by what it loves.

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

The Book of Screams

Each day in hospital I wake
to a reading from The Book of Screams.
It comes, apparently, from the bathroom
situated two-thirds of the way along the hall.
No one talks while the screams linger.
I pass the time by counting in my head.
Thirty-five. Seventy-two. One hundred
and nine. Two hundred and thirty-one.
The screams are high-pitched and continuous,
as if she has been chosen for her ability
to hold the note, to produce abrasive chords
when her lungs must be almost airless and empty.
The ruckus shakes the thin partition around my bed,
it rattles the cups and saucers in the kitchen,
and threatens to shatter the high frosted panes
of glass that leach feeble light onto the floorboards.

At midday and again in the evening I reluctantly
listen to recitals from The Book of Screams.
Afterwards, the ward is sombre with silence.
By the third day, I cannot bear it any longer,
I tear the bandage from my eyes and march
down the corridor to see for myself, drawn
to the noise the way iron filings are attracted
to magnetic north. Two nurses cradle
a young girl, supine, in a bathtub.
Her eyes are closed, her lips collapse
into an involuntary O that corresponds
to the coordinates of her mouth. Her skin,
though I am not sure you can still call
it that, is the black of newly laid bitumen.

Impossible to comprehend agony—
to understand how one scream seems
to necessitate another, to grasp how a voice
can travel over rice paddies and rubber plantations,
under jungle canopies and down boulevards
resplendent with French architecture, before lifting
into the flying arches and buttresses of the mind,
until we are all dwelling in a cathedral of screams
whose substantial form cries out for mercy.

But I have no mercy to give. I gaze
in dumb horror at her right leg, where
the white ghost of her femur shines
through murky water, at the charred
oozing mess of a knee. Her body is
no more than a diaphanous veil hanging
between this world and the next.

Later, they tell me about the morning
of the bombing and its aftermath.
Now, when I hear the word napalm,
I remember that girl’s face,
her eyes opening as I turn
to leave, her raw cries staying
with me and spiralling outwards,
forever travelling, like radio waves
rolling end over end
into the windless chasms of space.

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

‘Gethsemane’, on Patrick White

Gethsemane at your shoulder as you work,
garden of sleep and torment, the betrayal
of whispers you were born to, outside the frame,
beyond the painter’s bloom and power
the strikes of his marks of black and grey –
both writer and painter, swimming against
a cramped world. But in this house
of aunts and failures and divisions of mind,
it was love that stepped up to the garden:
creator of worlds driven with fire, peopled with
blubber and fuss, with overwhelming puzzlement,
the stunning stillness, the silliness and effort
behind screens of respectable appearance –
you captured the bright scream of the broken
who do not know they are broken,
turned a lamp upon them, open.

‘Patrick White’s study with Gethsemane’ (by Ian Fairweather)
c. 1973 photograph by Ern McQuillan, National Library of Australia

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

Reach & Ambition

for John Jenkins


I Reach & Ambition

Late at night, up, looking at
the things on my mantelpiece
a profusion of crap, clutter & gewgaws
a range of detail I love (John’s photos of it
came today, reminding me). I look at the pictures
blu-tacked there, above—postcards of paintings
1900 to 1920s mostly
but some Manet, some Fragonard, a Boucher
Michael Fitzjames, a Chardin—a piece of paper,
yellowed, proclaiming “Honeymooners star
Meadows dies” (with a picture of Art
Carney, Gleason, & Meadows), a picture
of James Brown being ‘assisted’
to his feet
by a Famous Flame, a large photocopy picture
of Pam, 32 or 3 … Anyway, the Manet—
two white camellias glowing
against a black ground—makes me think
Look at things! & on that basis
I think I will search out
the book of Manet‘s flower-pieces
& then, depending what that does to my brain,
re-read the Tranter poem I find,
placed in the back of this book. ‘Loxodrome’.
And maybe I will


II Gone

Left of the mantelpiece,
beneath the Chardin (a small, be-suited,
silver-haired boy—regarding a spinning top
on the table before him), four
tiny spots,
of blu-tack ,
form a rectangle
where a stamp should be—a patch of torn envelope
& the postal stamp that was on it. Gone. John’s photos,
tho, reveal it to have featured a dalek.
U.K. recognition for Dr Who. I am relieved.
For months now I have been aware
of the missing stamp, & had looked about for it,
thinking it showed a Chance Vought
Corsair, a fighter aeroplane of WWII
that I had liked. (‘Liked’.) I had been a fan of the plane
in my teens—& surprised to receive its image
as an adult forty years later stuck on an envelope,
& looking so American, mid-century & ‘of its era’.
I don’t know who had sent it to me
tho there are only a few candidates.
But now I see it is only a dalek—was only a dalek—
& I care nothing for Dr Who. The fighter plane
will show up one day, within a book of poems,
marking a spot to return to—in O’Hara or
Towle or Berrigan, Padgett or Mathews—
& I will be surprised & admire it for a second


III (Further)

Further right—
beyond a photo, from the outside,
of the front of the house at Westbury Street,
where I lived nine years—a photo
Mary gave me, the house white, window-sill
& door pale blue, maybe the fancy iron lacework
at the eave below the guttering blue too
the whole framed by the green leaves of a tree,
the wood of the tree an angled dark accent
at the right … Anyway, near it
are some designs of mine, screenprinted
or water-coloured, & some pictures, with figures
(it occurs to me now)
grouped in threes.
One, rather Pop, shows a mother & father
clean-cut, at a restaurant, flanking their son—
the cartoon ‘Burt’ from The Muppets who looks
straight at us, while Mom & Dad look right,
alert to … a nightclub act? a waiter?—
something outside the picture. Of course
Burt looks bizarre. Above, women clean up the Reichstag
after WWII—three women, it appears—in fact
three pairs of women—bend, mopping or shovelling
at rubble, dark figures, shapeless,
dwarfed by the immensely tall
pale Greek columns of the ruined building.
Beside Burt & his parents, a photo from late 19th Century:
“The Match-girls’ strike: their pay was docked
to erect a statue of Mr Gladstone” says the caption.
High-waisted skirts & tight, formal blouses,
all with hats—their best clothes—one looks pretty
& all look aggrieved & sure of their cause—
then a Braque or Picasso abstract—smudged,
glowing grey, & brown, & white, of a kind called (once?)
hermetic


IV ‘Loxodrome’

John’s poem, John Tranter’s poem, ‘Loxodrome’, I was
about to call it ‘Lucasade’, is great.
On first reading I was conscious
mostly of its easily maintained urbanity
& its complexity, charting a move
from North to Southern hemisphere—
in a corkscrew motion?—via visits to certain
‘places’—New York, Paris, Australia—
& poetic spaces—Baudelaire, Ashbery-&-O’Hara,
Forbes—& to poetry readings & events, & then
his response. It includes two pieces of
information I recall giving John, knowing they
were his kind of thing—about Freud
& Arthur Hugh Clough. Now I read the poem
closely for the sense & grammar
of the construction. Good to have that clear.
In the poem John imagines me
spying on him thru the fence—as
he cleans the pool, pointing out
annoyingly, a leaf he has missed?
Then John Forbes, in JT’s dream,
notes an error in one of his poems.
In fact, I see a change that could be usefully made
myself, tho not necessary & I doubt
I’d point it out. “(R)ecalls, for us, a tireless
mechanical rocking horse / galloping evenly
over the heather, the rhythm / soothing
& slightly narcotic.” Would that be better?
Maybe not much. Maybe not at all.


V The things JJ liked

The things that John must’ve liked—
(tho he liked it all, the confusion)—
at one end of the mantelpiece a small yellow
monoplane, high-winged, its propeller & wheels
of a like yellow—an infant’s toy—one wheel
a little broken. It sits, like everything, wedged in,
between jars & dishes (of paper clips, pencils), pencil sharpeners (one
—one of these—in the shape of a nose), small bottles I must have liked
—for their shape & colour—two ‘metal’ milkshake holders
cast actually in ceramic, one with a bunch of pigs-bristle
paint-brushes rising out of it, like flowers from a vase.
The second one (both are mauve) has a small flyer
for a piano recital on Cortula or Hvar.
Ivan Pernicki—tho Ivan Pernikety
I preferred at the time. (It got rained out,
cancelled. We were going to go—the posters were all
over the island: Chopin’s mazurkas, I’d like to think.)
In
what looks like a small urn—ceramic tho it pretends to be
woven brush—
(coppery orange)—is a perfectly round
white or flesh-coloured ping-pong ball, with
a face painted on it comically menacing & ghoulish
with a black top hat: its amused eyes rest
just above the urn’s rim. (It’s mounted on
a toothpick, I know, so you could stick it in things
(food? A cake?) & was given to us by Yuri’s
then German girlfriend, Kathleen, from Dresden.
We never met: we were overseas: but she liked us—
liked Yuri—& left some presents for the house.
There’s a clothes brush I never use. Some stickytapes,
small staplers, a book cover—grey, proof copy—
for Pam’s Fifty-Fifty. There it is again, nearby,
in ‘full’ colour, & a vase from my childhood—
& perhaps from Dad’s, or did he gain it
as a wedding present?—
a toffee-brown, with a scene painted on it—
people sitting in an 18th century farm kitchen:
tables, chairs, an open fire
a bonneted woman sitting in a niche
against the wall knitting: passing time, but busy.
Back at the other end, near the plane, some
rusched paper snakes—that I think Sally Forth
gave me: they’re broken now but still look serpentine—
in fact, even more so. They were attached to sticks,
& almost invisible thread allowed them to move,
snakily. There’s a Paul Sloan painting—an image
on a postcard, behind the snakes (just below
Burt et famille); there are two Singer sewing machine
‘light-oil’ containers, why? & a picture by Micky
(Micky Allan), framed, of
a curiously carefree footballer (a goalie, I always think)
failing to make a save. (There are goal posts, pennants,
an indication of a crowd, behind.) Late in the day—
or maybe it’s early in the game, but it is
how he intends to go on. Right near by,
on the door of the clothes cupboard is a colour photo
(from The Guardian) of a guy—on the wing—running
full tilt, the ball (Rugby) clutched high
against his chest, skinny, head thrown back
ecstatic that—by his lights—he’s going to make it,
just, in the very corner in a moment. It says,
“David Humphreys scores one of Ulster’s two tries”
He looks like he’s missing some teeth. You want him
to succeed. The crowd are yelling & laughing.
He could easily be bundled out, you would think,
but he’s going to make it. I love it: human frailty
simple pleasures. What else?—Beckmann
(Lido). Martha Reeves & the Vandellas (beautiful
in very funny pants) Richard Widmark—
in a sixties suit & hat, narrow tie, pressed flat
against a wall, expectant, gun out—two
Joe Louis postage stamps, Stendhal, pictures by
Kurt, & one by Sal, a photo of The Nips—formerly
The Nipple Erectors—posed in the street, the lead singer
in a zoot suit, slightly crouched, legs apart, the sole
girl in the band amused at the boys’ antics
stands very still, holds her guitar, smiles; a drawing I did,
of a hat, for August 6th.
I did it
here in this room, under the fluoro, at the desk.

There’s Rauschenberg’s
chair—
combined with the painting, & Seb & Mill
& Mill’s baby, Hec.

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

The Message

The towering blaze of a bonfire, thick as hair, wind-driven,
flared and shone on the bruised Agame coins. The wind,
the coins, the smoky fume woke the messenger
as he drank wine and juggled twelve coins with ten fingers.

He slid his drunken feet, head light as water, he shifted
sand into the winged carpets of Khourri mystics.
And as he fingered the engraved chimera struck
by the Agame minter who’d knurled and hammered under

the lost pillars of Iram, his glass-coloured eyes magnified.
A rumour turned into a secret held between his lips, carried
on his hips, hidden in shoes had crossed worlds of oceans
and deserts. A message was a livelihood worth bread,

manna gum or a dagger, even a coat and a belt.
But a dozen Agame coins brought the Gods to his side.
New wealth had lengthened his neck, swanning him
to the point of oblivion, his heart roasted in the sweet tannin

of brewed grapes, and the rose coloured blood on his tongue
craved more. He tapped the winged-god on his lapel.
At the grey feet of the Sultan he knelt obediently. Her name
spilling from his lips when his forehead kissed soil.

He unsealed the message titled wrath: the wrath of the Lady
is unrivalled by any of the higher-gods; the seers warn
the angels, the gods warn the jinn that caves are turning
into tombs
. The Sultan paid in full. A gut full. The messenger

emptied his pockets while wine and smoke cloistered
his breath. On his coin-freckled palms, he saw:
a herd of camels, topaz amulets, the blue dusk fragrance
of Yathroub, marriage to his Bedouin cousin, a stallion

with the speed of an eagle flying him to the oasis of Bakkah
where merchants from Damasq and Sanhara traded
their frankincense and silk with combs of rare ebony teeth.

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

Truck & Trailer Approaching a City

(Jeffrey Smart, 1973)

Europe in a thousand container terminals –
the sat-nav recalibrates, the one language.
Tollgate, tunnel, interchange. Who knows
which roads get switched in the confusion.
This welfare city or that doppelganger
on the other side – this night or some other night.
Sleepless in roadhouse parking lot,
hypno radio-voices spiral out of headlights
hard as methedrine. The closely-observed
& freely aleatory coffee grounds you devise
into apocalypse-edge visions – border guards &
fake inventory. A hundred more miles
of the hungry tank, of the relentless white line.
Delete. Press replay. By this will they know you.

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

Obligation

I am young but I have money like a grandmother.
Do you remember seeing that paleface for the first time?

Yes, no. Face is trying for openness,
passing anti-expositional afternoons.

Fieldwork is a bound time.
I am designing an entrance, I am choosing to use it.

Youth here sometime tastes of sitting-down.
On the any-way road, the cab thick with tail fat.

Spider is needing that half-kilo of sugar.
We don’t ask it back just because we gave it away.

When we are needing sugar we yell suga-suga!
Age here sometime tastes of exhortation.

Can I Can I Can I? And rarely no,
but the face can shut down.

These are bright days.
I’m saying that literally,

and actually, Can I? is a pale formulation.
Say it in a sing-song, get that sugar back.

Sometime bodies are needing food or money.
They are walking to the fire, they are yelling the noun.

Sometime a noun and I don’t want to give it.
Twenty-dollar, fifty-dollar, ten-dollar, jerry-can,

Nungarrayi, power-card, Nungarrayi, those kids
are hungry for pizza, drink, lolly-lolly.

I am asking my questions and the answers are any-where.
I feel burned and I give it away,

watching something stirring. Tinned things stirring.
Face is close to the fire.

Wince is a face word. Singe is a hair word,
pale sensibilities hungering the exit.

Try to cool out in the ingenious windbreak.
Eating Spider’s killer next to the car-body.

Obligation is total.
No sorry for a face with its eyelash singed white,

because under the blankets and microwaves,
bodies of a scorched story are not saying no.

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

Pollo a la Brasa

I’m a yellow bird balanced on his rotisserie,
cock-eyed for your triglycerides.

I’m an ex-demo model upholstered
in the fatty jacket of his own tanned hide.

We cross the road and get to the other side.

In the dark you slip a finger in the box
of the tenderest punnet chicken in the car park.

I’m a passenger, I promise: I’m easy,
spread-eagled on my bed of self-salted lies.

I’m the only thing between you, the mirror,
and the shards-of-mirror bellyache of truth.

I’m the innermost matryoshka’s meat
in the turducken you’ll become when death
comes to tap-and-go your greasy thighs.

I’m the bin bag skeleton of childless night.

And when you find your transfat mind
carted off to landfill, make a sign
like a penitent and cut-stringed kite
swanning down the clouds’ unbroken pews
to let everybody know, filthy-fingered angel,
not every birdsong is as blue.

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged

I ♥ Newcastle

We’d run, eyes closed, holding hands, through mountain-misted Blackbutt. Cyclones of bats over the pond at dusk swooped for dragonflies and crickets. Our bare legs scratched by tall native grass. The sweaty smell of humus welcoming our musk. But you wanted expensive potting mix and fresh-cut lawns.

At Redhead Beach we swapped tops because I burn so easily. I sat in the shade, sinuses hot and raw with brine, ready to leave two hours before you. In Charlestown, heading back to New Lambton, the car ran out of petrol but I’d used our last five dollars to buy hot chips; we walked home in silence.

Walking through the Wickham railway gates on Friday afternoon, you dawdled behind. Said you’d catch up with me, you had to use the payphone. I didn’t see you until the next afternoon.

I slept in my car sometimes, after I’d yelled. I slept in branches under pine trees near train stations; I slept on the floor of the university computer lab; I slept in the shade behind the ocean baths; I tried but couldn’t sleep beside you anymore.

I tried a rhythmic sway and cupid lips, tried nutmeg and cinnamon. I tried cloying whispered nothings, whispered somethings, I whispered caramel across your collarbones. You turned the music up and locked the Corolla from the inside.

Posted in 80: NO THEME VI | Tagged