Aquarium

She recognises me and mocks my work
with her own lithe labour, arms like kisses on the
glass. Smooth as oil
she copies my mop and wringer, slipping her body through
a narrow ring of rubber,
eight handshakes but no hands and yet slim fingers slipping,
sloping elaborately –
she’s a bag of brimming slosh and muscle, swimming.
Love was never like this. She
waits each day, we work, we talk, our conversation
is stately, balletic,
hung with dangling cephalopodic undulations.
If alarmed
she writes her name in water. Food-grifter, shape-shifter,
she paces my walking
powered in the stroll by her three hearts.
My mopping done,
I pass on, she observes me to the aisle-end. Left alone,
she’ll adjust her mantle
like a nun, then settle in a corner on a vigil,
a huddle of knots, in wait.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Square Peg

I spent my twenties writing stories, trying
to wait tables. I waited tables like
Rabelais and Orwell wrote of shagging—
unconvincingly. I’d not aspired

to waiting tables. I waited tables like
Pollock juggling scotch bottle and dentist drill—
catastrophically. I’d not aspired
to moussing innocent bystanders: they watched

Pollock juggling scotch bottle and dentist drill
transfixed, as if he were intending
to mousse innocent bystanders: they dodged
lap-slop horrors that defied dry-cleaning

transfixed, as if I was intending
(as Rabelais and Orwell wrote of shagging)
to let slip horrors that defied dry-cleaning:
I spent my twenties writing stories, trying.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

more work needed to make a dadaist poem

with apologies to Tristan Tzara

take newspaper & scissors
you’re on your way up the purple mountain
sometimes you have to cheat

choose an article the length of your intended
you know how it is
by mistake you sit in the laughing carriage

unhorsed among damp mohair sculptures
cut the words into a bag & shake them, arrange
words in the order they escape from home

water slips down the softest window
substitute better words
change an ending or two

endowed with a bag lady sensibility
copy conscientiously a vale of tents
sliding superfluous words

behind barricades
the poem will be beyond the understanding
of the uninitiated, but charming like you

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Chemistry

Dismantling your form as you stand in the wake of white laminate,
everything takes its place as arable desire crunches under my downy boots.
I say ‘hello’ like an apology – not wanting to be a duchess of regret
(yes, I am familiar with the dogged predictability of losing)
so I look to the hem of your lips and move up to settle
on the southern tip of your nose;
soft patches of confessional skin a tourniquet to any rind of hope.
red ink, black ink, blue ink
I wager that there is grace in shutting up.

On my chart of the east, clouds chafe the sky,
my piano moaning like a bird on its last flight.
My body rushes; keening at you like you’re a finish line,
and as I usurp ribbons of catastrophe the dog pack has pinned to my chest,
I see you as a remission, where you become one long fortnightly saudade.

Gales of laughter rip through us as we fox away time.
With my foot in the door, I bury myself in busy snatches of air
where you tease me over the lure of peeling foil
before I scatter shards of pills under my tongue
but not before drawing your face into the bough of my hands;
my fingers trumpeting urgency.

I do not trust myself to hear the lilt in your voice
or to feel your hands under my caul,
for there are sounds that tumble out of my mouth
like small hymns that run in time with your easy slouch
best I learn how to pray

Meet me at the river where water
slips around our shadows like outposts of hope.
Stuck in the gullet of splitting winter winds
we are already a dirge of soupy stares and epistolary flesh
upon which I shall starve my curdling belly;
the biggest surprise being that you even remembered my name.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Compost

When I lift the lid of the bin and see
the flick and coil of worms
as they dive from the light
my heart is lifted

and as I sit at my desk it comforts me
to think upon their quiet continual digestive work

the way they turn a mess of matter into earth,
the way that dead and failed and fragmentary things
can be transformed into fertility.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

In the Ear of the Journeyman

minus this workload established status is a mirage but with a daily ten kilometres up and down gravel maybe you’re on track to maintain a spot in the squad if you don’t expire sometime soon granted it’s a lot to do with pain this daily dose along limestone

trails but it’s also about kilometres in the legs developing a decent engine for the midfield you’ll need to dig in if you want to remain a valued player well after this preseason you’re sure to remember that twice round the Zamia Trail makes ten

kilometres which must be run in less than forty minutes so show us how much you really want an extended contract it’s not as if you’re a superstar and should the shadow of your future arthritic self stand in the way you’ll just have to run through it after this

we’ll jog to Mc Gillvray Oval where there’ll be ten twenty metre sprints interspersed with less than thirty seconds recovery time sharp circle work for an hour before we do weights and now as you run past enjoy views of the sea snatched between tortured

banksia along the ridge line then slip down the dip past thorny yellow acacia where even if you can do with a piss you must give it a miss for more squirts of daily dose as pink and grey clowns look down their beaks and screech from trees intertwined with

bridal creeper and if in the sandy vale the windblown veldt grass bends your thoughts to barefoot running in Kenya wind your way up deep green hills planted with coffee in deep red soil till you reach the pine plantation of an imaginary Olympia where you’ll

give each tree a perfect hip and shoulder before the turn to the Lookout and if the senior coach instructs you to shirtfront the trunk of a tuart you better damn well do it come on sprint the last hundred you’re weak as piss and should you pike out let the

team down squib a hit when under a hospital handpass and if you get cut during the season for dropping a mark in the goal square then don’t come squealing to me in the meantime don’t bloody well forget that at five you’re getting another injection of juice

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Vacuum

At the end of the world, will anyone think
of the man in the infomercials
who demonstrates the suction
power of vacuum cleaners?

I think about this often, of the different
ways we might finish
our sentence; perhaps a nuclear cloud

will engulf us and I’ll say
‘look, the house wears the smoke
like sweatpants’. I suppose
we won’t get to choose who shares
in our personal apocalypse.

I’ll probably fumble my lines.

Will the television networks still operate?
I hope so. I’d like to turn on the TV
and find an advertisement to fall asleep to.
To invest my last moments in thinking
about a man with an American accent
who I’ve never met. With such faith
in his vacuum cleaners how can he help
but lift the weight from the world.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Postgraduate Finesse

An anonymous email to inform me of my absence on the shortlist

No interviews

When my statements are this unmagical

I think of the greengrocer watching clouds clear and reconvene

The rains lowering again

Over the unobtrusive roofwork of a Saturday

The decking patterns jazzing

And the unbelievable odour of sugar

As another plane goes over

The object’s dimmer

Which makes even fewer than last year

The ends these applications labour

I don’t remember it or my CV records an erosion so gradual

Or else the damage is a ready-made

Anyway I’m working on it

As an artificial ruin

All the inconsequent follies standing there in Times New Roman

I was halfway up a mountain on my way to a Greek monastery

When my alma mater called

An undergraduate asking for donations

From a campus of sensational brutalism

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Discovered in a Rock Pool

A star-shaped object rising up
out of the water – five
wavering arms, five
spokes of a chariot wheel, five
curved cylinders, at their centre
a cluster of grey barnacles, small pearls, a silver light,

the water that drips from them
heavy with salt, oxidized
incrustations. A star tiara
from a drowned mermaid, the wheel
of some vast chariot washed up.
And, as it breaks the surface, this sharp sudden

fragrance like plants
left too long in narrow vases, the water
like urine drained out of dried twigs.
The wheel is a ghost of a wheel.
The fiery chariot’s return to
the kingdom of salt. And everything

shrinks and is less than a token
miniature apple, a walnut placed
as a skull-shaped offering on an
altar to placate the goddess of devouring.
Effigies stored in a rock pool.
This is surely someone’s

childhood not mine. Such simple things
might be placation or destruction. Starfish
or a galaxy intact
as its detritus. Burnt out. Cooling off,
cooling off in a solution
of brine and midday sun.

— Whom do you seek?
The woman at the centre of the starfish-wheel asks me.
— I am after another life.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Sun Tong Lee and Company, Gulgong, 1872

A Chinaman with strange and delicious sweets that melted in our mouths, and rum toys
and Chinese dolls for the children. − Henry Lawson, Christmas in the Goldfields


Sun Tong Lee, Storekeeper and Importer
has large shipments to arrive
from China and Sydney:
Tea, Rice, Sugar, Gentlemen’s Clothing,

boots, first-class English Calfskins, rope, tin ware,
plants in pots (‘very nice presents to those young ladies
who have a taste for floral beauty’), at such low prices
as will enable everyone to patronise him.

‘Any person requiring Chinese workmen
− Labourers, Carpenters, Painters or other
artisans − by applying to the above will be
supplied with reliable men.’

Herbert Street was busy,
especially on Sundays.
Chinese gods frowned on
wasting a good day of the week.


− after Sun Tong Lee’s Sydney Branch Store. Gulgong 1870-1875 − a2822392, the Holtermann Collection

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Surrogacy

It is the stork who labours
to deliver baby Dumbo to his sad
and silent single mother.

The heft of a hundred-kilo sack
had to be held aloft across the Technicolor
map of Disney’s pre-war USA

in search of a moving target—
a humping caterpillar of travelling circus train.
Only a domestic flight,

but imagine the sweet relief
at unlocking his beak, the tension
headache born of bearing an elephant child.

He does his job with a smile,
offers genuine warmth in generous addition
to the contractual requirement of professionalism,

congratulates the long-lashed lady
and relaunches on monochrome wings.
His total screen time amounts to three minutes,

a seasoned bit player,
agent of plot progression,
class act who only weeps in transit.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Late Shift: Notes to Self

(Inspired by Henry Reed)

Rush hour again: a fast lane of drip poles, trolleys and beds
freighting the stricken. That skip needs
to be emptied and bed twenty nine needs a bed pan.
My husband is uncorking a merlot.
It has a bouquet of hibiscus and blackbird song.

Rush hour again: a fast lane of drip poles, trolleys and beds.

Tonight the world has a point to make about frangible bones and hearts.
I am calling down an angel to banish bed fifteen’s pain,
hold the hand of the patient in extremis whom I can’t get to yet.
Outside a white sail of birds is unfurling
and the jacaranda trees are in blossom.

Tonight the world has a point to make about frangible bones and hearts.

This is a cannula and this, the basilic vein. Irritation of the vein
may lead to phlebitis, which in our case we do not want.
Two grams of Flucloxacillin are due at six.
Somewhere other than here children are in bed
and are being read ‘The Wind in the Willows.’

This is a cannula and this, the basilic vein.

With a blood pressure that high, how does her heart hold?
Follow the algorithm ABCDE, never letting anyone see how you feel.
The dressing is soaked with blood. We call it ‘strike through.’
The daylight is draining
and the sunset over the hills is beautiful.

With a blood pressure that high, how does her heart hold?

The weight of the traction is four kilos. To turn bed nine and wash his back,
four nurses will be needed, which in our case we do not have.
He wants the lights left on.
The moons hangs like an aspirin over the city
and the breeze is palliative on my face.

The weight of the traction is four kilos.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

A Hard Poem to Market

This poem does not have a spacious deck for entertaining after a hard day’s reading itself.
It lacks a million dollar view of surrounding majestic mountains, or even filtered sea glimpses.
A poem like this boasts no walk-in wardrobes, parents’ retreats, media rooms, or en suites.
European appliances do not grace the non-existent kitchen in this poorly equipped poem.
Similarly, the bench tops are neither marble, stainless steel, stone-rich, or, indeed, extant.
This poem’s location is not convenient, as there are few shops, schools, or parks nearby.
Public transport does not run within a stone’s throw of this poem’s old, invisible front door.
Although this poem contains three words with the letter ‘x’ in them, it lacks a so-called X Factor.
Speaking of letters, its letterbox is shaped like a transparent snail. That is both lie and joke.
The poem’s garden lacks any sign of birds, toads, water features, trees, grass or space.
The curtains that cover the windows of this poem are all wonky, smoke-coloured Venetians.
A real estate agent has hanged himself using the cords of one of the poem’s most ugly blinds.
One window has a yellowed sheet of newspaper crumpled and pushed into a very large hole.
That improvised plug is made from a page of the real estate section of last week’s local newspaper.
Out of curiosity, you remove the paper, and smooth it out, to see if it reports something interesting.
That is because you do not know, until smoothing it, that it is from the real estate section.
It will not be interesting, but will contain far too many details about a hard poem to market.
Your hopes of finding a bargain are flattened. You leave by that bland, elusive front door.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Excavation

Emptying cupboards from
the pre-Homeric Classroom era,
through strata thick as Schliemann’s Troy.
I am looking for bedrock and
the world before printing
when we worked with our bare minds
or a single piece of paper rolled
soaking wet from a banda machine.
When times were tough, we drank the fluid
and went outside to fight hairy colleagues from other lands.
Who can forget 1978 when that probationer
stole the Headmaster’s wife
and we sailed across the Firth in a fleet of long keeled ships,
the sun glinting on our oars?
Our beards have grown, our blood coarsened,
paper has closed over our bones like sand.
But there is a hot deep wind today at the skip.
It takes the sheets and spins them over rooftops,
all the dense tyrannies of words
gone to air at the end, like birds.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Sewing Class

i.

Each week the headmaster’s wife
darns us into her web of chairs: a design
to mirror the range of her eyes.
She is austere, and caught in the snare
of her husband’s alarm-clock life,
she ticks us off
when our stitches don’t mend her morning.

The fabric is too big for childish hands,
and the needle too small to fit my desire
to quit this room with its young girl giggles
and smell of teacher’s perfume.
She has given me too hard a task:
the needling of a cloth
to make a pattern
for a life I can’t conceive.
But, we are her debutantes on our way
to womanhood, so she stoically treads her path
by fidgeting feet and sew-spastic fingers.

Cotton eyes the needle greedily
pushing through the vacancy
like a cat through its flap to a freeing sunrise.

Needle-threading is much like tying shoelaces;
poking an ant nest with a stick;
or riding a broom-proud steed
through a small gap in the fence to a wood ―
hanging there, the thread is secure as the tie
on the legs of a store-bought chook.

While other busier fingers
brook the challenge of Mrs N’s stare,
my mind wanders to methods of escape.

Bending slowly, head inching over genuflecting knees,
I undo a shoelace.
It’s the start of an idea.
Knots! Knots! and more knots!
So the dangling thread becomes a hangman’s noose;
a yachtsman’s ropey artistry; the tangle of fishing line
in the hands of a tyro on holiday.
Excuse me, please, I have a knot!

It’s one deserving of a prize.
I try not to smile.
I try not to look proud.
She sighs, releases me from the torture-tool of linen
and starts unpicking my knotted herd.
It takes a while.
Knots can be tricky
knots can be hard to tie, unseen,
and she is soon on my third.
I am nine
and the clock tells me it’s eleven.

ii.

Bridging the gap from youth to freedom
is High School and The Treadle.
In these mechanised rows knots are irrelevant.
Each machine wakes its latent industry
by the cradling of a bobbin.
We are given one to keep
so mine will live in a drawer
at home.
It will never meet the Singer, or seam its voice
to the room’s robotic choir.
I am proud I will never sew a stitch
on that maternalising denier of youth.

I am told that next term I will study nutrition;
learn how to cook and how to clean a kitchen.
They are unpicking my world
and sewing me into their fabricated fiction.

I am twelve
and being primed for motherhood.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Orb

noon
when i woke Dawn
long since fallen with a plonk
or was that my child on timber floors
her massive booty surrounded by discarded
labels from the discount sales she crashed at the
top of the main drag last night i remember panning
cock then chasing her Beau who cracked his marbles
my circular keys thought loud & clear for the sake of her
but into the city she escaped a wave in the driveway blue
waterfall hair dishevelling among my pines it occurred
to me how sale after sale my company has lost its name
to cheap jewels & flowers watching on their speckled
eyes flattered without noise our collective breath
decamping like a bright shadow the vodka said
finish me off nothing moved my palace’s
nor my child’s facade I embrace
her in the orb of my
debt

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Little Hank and I

Inside the chateau of crimson knickerbockers
We hopscotch through doorways full of children
One hundred lashes
And a wink from the chariot master
Hiding inside the gift box
Jack-in-the-box
Vegemite on white bread toast
No crust
I don’t recall exactly when I wanted to
Because I want to meet you
Because I’ve never met you

I am the Oxen
Dancing in the fertile dreams of yawning furrows
Blink, Blink
Hey Mr.
With the toucan marvels
Hide me behind the bird song lullabies
I promise to brush my teeth
You’re always sharpening your pencil
Lead is heavy
Hot pink firecrackers
And you fly around the city in your wagon
Howling incandescent hymns out onto the porches
Horticultural snobbery
You taught me a flower is the enigmatic blossoming
Of reform
You have hair that fished in the lake
And feet that held on
I think

I make kite boat silhouettes
I walk great distances
And I see you
Hugging the chair legs
You hold up a nursery
Demanding all of the diamond hydrangeas
For me
But all I wanted was Bobby from Arkansas
Falling asleep
Broad merino clarinet shoulders
You play me the winds of Autumn
Auburn snow grasshoping between the leaves
Succulents
Fingertops
You are close as ever
Because I want to meet you
Because I’ve never met you

You bought me a kite yesterday
Hold my hand
You tell me to look towards the Moon
Follow the needle string
Somewhere between here
And there
You are always under my chin
Look up
Patching melodies that the mountains pluck
I ride on your shoulders from Yosemite to Strathbogie
Your feet tell a story
Size 11 bootstrap braille
Pine needles
Salt bush
You and me tasted it all

I ride the ghost train to school
Route 106
Along the smoky starfish coast
Winding down and pop
The merry-go-round grows off the tall window statues
Packed Tupperware lunchbox
When you get home we’ll dance the foxtrot
No tracks at home
Crouching in the quilted muffling of my lucidity
You bring extra cushions
Bright yellow ladybirds
Hazy blue fabrications
Keep me warm
Because I want to meet you
Because I’ve never met you

I am in love with Frankie
Enamel cups
Candles
And sunsets at Margret’s with Tupelo Honey
Too much red wine
Rushing blood
We are never cold at night
You tell us of the time you went droving
Digging your spurs into the rugged heart of the desert
To muster cleanskin Mickey bulls
Old Murray pulling bores
He’d come back stained forever
And you wake up with the stock camp
Saddle Atlas
And ride off to the next contract
From Heartbreak to Avon Downs
They’d see you at dawn
Akubra saluting the bush gods

That’s why I live in the treetops
In the granite
And the gum nuts
Whistling into the leafy tundra
When the Sun rears its head
Because I want to meet you
Because I’ve never met you

I am over
And under
My floral jungle bouquet youth
And the river is running with breast milk
I am in love with Frankie
And little Hank

But what should I tell him
That you told me
Because I’ve never met you
And you’ve never met me.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

night flying to Vienna

cognac, coffee, water left out for restive insomniacs, reading lights on, in front blondes tucked under branded blankets sleeping pills heads tilted eye masks arms slack; a man dreams and dreams of lilac sheets and women while children wait, long-night-ahead stare at the infinity effect of blue rectangles down the aisle: a three-eyed raven, jugglers, gladiators, sports stars, squabbling warriors, on your screen images to experience but not to keep: two lovers, a night train and promises, stone streets of Vienna, the second movie apart for nine years, the lovers forever magicked in her Paris apartment in the middle of the night.

you study it for an ideal, above Mumbai, above war zones, oil of Kurdistan, lights of Tehran are down there, beef stroganoff in cling wrap, moonshine ripples on the Euphrates, stone houses of Cappadocia, Istanbul, a nocturnal rhombus of lights surrounding a black sea black heart. know that this darkened cylinder is held together by greasy string and ragged feathers. the thrum of collective wills keeps this impossibility howl in the air. a child snuggled in your arms sucks her thumb, your fields of marriage are ploughed with salt

lights 3.30am, a false dawn reheated toastie, weak tea and one-more-chance thinking, the line of flight map has no answer, captain announces third movie in the series, two more betrayals, the lovers on Crete with children, dinner on the terrace, fight in a hotel suite, future as provisional as our immediate survival in this silver tube. breakfast trays collected, the descent, passengers’ will to survive becomes vigilant, local time, local weather, flight twenty-two hours you’ve been travelling nine years through spousal sectors, trays stowed, smoking sign off seat belt sign on, clunk as the wheels go down, shiver through the plane

bank to the left, line up the runway, whine of air brakes, seats upright, you stand to access overhead locker, find the colour of lilac eyes, his lies, cheats, his dirty sheets. this closed society holds their breath as the wheels touch down, waits for the nose-dive into the runway – a hop, a skip, a bump and grounded, may never know if the lovers reconcile or part.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Rubies

Glow White and the Three Dwarfs Remaining —
Sneezy, Sleazy and Greasy: we were just
guys together, once, digging up diamonds, pals —
then this whirlwind of womanhood
descended on us out of the forest
with her perfume, her mystery and her periods.
She owned this Summer Retreat — Gnome, Alaska —
perched on a mountain covered with glittery gneiss
and a pool that nobody swam in. Or
so she said: who could tell? Then
her winter home in the Republic of Ireland,
tax, natch. We were just rubes della bosca,
hicks and hayseeds with a stash of gems,
blokey yokels with a thuggish charm,
or so she’d have us believe. What happened
to the other four? No one can remember.
Nodding off among the gloomy furniture.
She’s gone again, with that Lothario,
to ‘liquidate’ a sack of rubies in Lausanne.
Tell us again, Sleazy, the one about
Sleepy and the Doc, the good old days,
before things changed, and we got to be rich.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Sangsue

Between a rust-rot mailboat and the skeletons of textile factories
the boy Rodin
floats in the cold shallows of the Aude’s mudflats with the current,
dodging leeches

while men do the wash. There are cattle on the sand beneath the wheeze
of seagulls. Home,
firing the sootcoated kettle, his mother checks him, and in the scalp
of dark hair one little witch

marooned, slick and sucking. Mother fumbling at it, a concentration-vein
like a taproot in her forehead pulsing,
crumbs of light through the window, the smack of spades in the distance.

~~~ ~~~

The first sangsue: immigrant witches at the wound – Gypsy, Jew or Dago combing
neatly the hair of small
pale children before concussing and boiling them. Or simply bog women
leech-trafficking in nearby

villages. In each peasant house, beside purple cabbage and aromatic onions, a glass
in the window where the beasts
were kept. And second, the Cardinal of Lorraine, drawing undue profit
from his many offices

in the corporate body of Christ, conducted the St. Bartholomew’s Day
massacre. Sanitation
was the Queen’s concern, so the bodies were sold back to families for burial,
or wheeled in carts over the berry- blackened

streets to the Seine, weighted and lost to shadows that moved. Years on,
Parisians still drank from the river
as Gideon’s men, skimming the surface with a bowl, or lapping the water, as
dogs, who like Jehovah

are more sanitary than magical, for the springs and streams of Palestine
abounded in leeches,
which when swallowed stuck in the throat, causing hemorrhaging.

~~~ ~~~

Not an unbroken piece of furniture in the house, Buñuel kneels at his desk,
where he put his head
down, the blue capillaries under skin as thin as rice paper, with the hard-focused
eyes of a man

one week at the bottom of a lake. Boils, jaundice, grippe; bread and potatoes
for days. He writes
a friend from the toilet, “I was so depressed last night that I would have
put my head in the gas oven,

if I wasn’t too frightened of the children to go into the kitchen. All of this because
of a sebaceous cyst in my armpit,
which happily, the doctor has just drained with his little ‘assistants’.”

~~~ ~~~

Da Vinci was so mesmerized by the rippling of leeches propelling themselves
through water—like Papal
streamers in strong winds—that he sketched them in red chalk, trying to capture
their motion (the fastest swimmers

are the hungriest) for his friend Luca Borgia who died having an aneurism under
a blind moon,
whose body was dragged by French infantryman, still flushed from a bog
and left, covered

in small black flags that wilted the man, and when fat on him dropped lazily away.

~~~ ~~~

Lille’s old executioner-cum-doctor, dwarf-faced and neck-wrinkled
now sucks the blood
from a street boy’s wrist with professorial reserve while his men keep the kid
from screaming.

Years before, ridding the city of its voyeurs of dog copulation
and mockers of rats and monkeys,
he watched as epileptics bucked beneath the scaffold at executions,
slavering to catch

enough still-warm blood for a cure – the sticky stuff rilling
over their pates and paunch.

~~~ ~~~

Though they feel pain, and are terrified by the idea, sufferers of Lesch-Nyhan
syndrome are uncontrollably
driven to tear and bite away parts of themselves. While a man’s wife turned
her back to wash

the mulch from her calves, he moved from a staring at photo of a worker
dangling precariously
from a water tower, to picking his ear, to biting the tip of his right ring-finger
off. Like children, with their

mania for taking out dolls’ eyes to see what’s behind them. Later, doctors
placed maggots
on the necrotic flesh of infected wounds.

~~~ ~~~

Ut beattitudo illis magis complaceat – Aquinas promised the blessed a gift:
a vision: the agonies
of the damned; at ten Antonioni began building puppets and model sets
for them. An adult,

he wanted to make a documentary about the local mental hospital in the antique
and silent town
of Ferrara. The patients—sanguisuga, the orderlies called them—helped him set up
the equipment. Then

he turned on the floodlights. “They went berserk,” he wrote, “and their faces—
which had been
absent—became convulsed and devastated. It was the director of the asylum
who finally yelled

to stop. And in the dark we felt a swarm of bodies like muddrifts taking our legs.”

~~~ ~~~

Prescribed for everything from obesity to nymphomania, Rodin
was treated
for stroke with six plump leeches clinched to his face. A child, he broke a jar
of them, and for nights

lay awake imagining the parasites crawling his length, half expecting to wake
to the floors under water,
to sheets drenched, by himself, if not by the work of “the fat red and black
bâtard.” Now, even

on his deathbed he has the blush of a consumptive, fresh from a cloakroom
fuck. Afraid to be alone,
he is “visited” by sangsue – the physician brings them in a moist velvet-lined
medical bag. So, companions

for fifty years and soon to be wed, Rose Beuret sits beside the difficult and palsied
artist who confides in a stupor,
that his first desire was to be a horse, a bowl of additional leeches in her lap
in case of a second stroke.

Near death, he pleads to have them removed; they are hanging from his nose
and slipping
into his mouth as le cheval gallops into the migraine-darkened afterlife
with the breath of loosened soil.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

La Florista

Every morning we heard her bell.
It is La Florista on her parti-colour triciclo.

I am four years old, my mother
and I always go out to welcome her.

She looked Japanese but with coppery
skin. Wearing a straw hat, she always arrived

with a smile. She came in winter too,
but in my memory La Florista brings

mornings with the sun warm on my skin. My mother,
a young woman as vivacious as the flowers,

carefully selects – chrysanthemums one day,
gladioli another, some days roses,

some days carnations. I watch fascinated, marveling
at this ebullience in colour. Before La Florista leaves

she makes a small bouquet from oddments with short stems,
passing it me, smiling, saying, for you to give

to Saint Martin.Then she rides off on her triciclo,
calling out her farewell, and I watch her go.


Poem translate from The Spanish by Carol Jenkins.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged ,

Loom

I have seen them weave in the evening by lamplight
which creates effects that bring Rembrandt to mind.

–Vincent van Gogh, 1884


& then, in the world that was her mother –
when the sky was mauve
& her dress a spotted pink
she saw as clearly as day dawned
the light from her mother’s loom
wild and wizened for her years
she saw it tilt as it moved before her

just as her mother had seen it
years before, had heard it
years before, that clank
heavy as cloth

stretched and pulled
fitted and flowered
loud before her

& she quinced
her breath

blown loud
in her ears

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Riding the Rotor with No End in Sight

You can’t even make time
to kick a football with your own son,
my wife says one night,
when my boy is already asleep.
I drop him at Before School Care
each morning & tell him
to have a good day. Work’s busy
at the moment, I say.
I want to tell him that I love him,
but I don’t. I manage change in others,
but not myself. I just work.
I work smarter, harder, longer.

The wall behind me spins
& my no-crease business shirt clings
to it. My laptop & mobile phone
stick as well. The floor drops away,
yet I don’t fall. I’m safe up here.
Sex is merely a memory
I’m too tired to have.
This is my life, I might think,
if there was time to think.
But there are calls to make,
meetings to arrange, work
to do. My stomach churns.
I’m stranded. So I do what men
do—I get on with the work.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

New Moon

for my bardibardi kujaka:
Gloria Friday, Marjorie Keighran & Clara Roberts

This is my recovery road, to follow the bardibardi
into the Gulf’s wild pharmacy; I let myself
surrender
to those hallelujah hands outstretched
to a sandalwood’s leafy collection
dis one dumbuyumbu an millad mob
boil jungkayi tea, tis pick you up
:

continuing to choose our leaves
between cabbage palms and billygoat plums, three kinds
of paperbarks and bikabaji green plums,
we arrive at a shrub, dog’s balls, and everyone
cracks it: tis one kurranga, dem hangin’ sweet lil-fruit:

as we walk these medicine trails of baked black earth
we watchfully step the tessellated tiles
of the sandy-poor bush floor
and the bardibardi sing their appeasement to spirits –
corralling us gently to a billabong’s shade:

we wash our leaves
before adding them to a billycan’s brown rolling boil
and as we drink together
the bardibardi tell me of the blind mermaid
of Robinson River:

a moonstricken old lady
journeyed to an exhaustion’s
drowning in a billabong’s calm lily pad
run on water:

her blind transformation from breathless
air to a reservoir’s faint trailing
song percolates through this lost city
of stratified sandstone spires and columns
as the curlew cries, grief-stricken,
against the acclaimed phases of the moon:

depression scarring
is cheeky history inhaled
as trauma’s din and breaching
the efficacy of our bardibardi’s jungkayi bush brew –
in a spent aftermath
we are left reading leaves for traces
of blind worry-bird’s shared resurrection
in the slender crescent of a new moon.


Bardibardi: is Indigenous language (Yanyuwa/Garrawa) in the Gulf region of northern
Australia for respectfully referring to older women.

Kujaka: is Indigenous language (Yanyuwa/Garrawa) in the Gulf region of northern
Australia for respectfully referring to your mother and her sisters.

Millad: is Kriol in the Gulf region of northern Australia for the first person plural
pronoun: we, us, our.

Jungkayi: is Indigenous language (Yanyuwa/Garrawa) in the Gulf region of northern
Australia for a person who stands in a guardian relationship to the ceremonies of
managing his/her mother’s Country. Today this term is often used to mean ‘boss’, ‘most
important’ or even ‘policeman’ and is also used widely by members of the Gudanji and Mara
peoples.

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