Sun Tong Lee and Company, Gulgong, 1872

A Chinaman with strange and delicious sweets that melted in our mouths, and rum toys
and Chinese dolls for the children. − Henry Lawson, Christmas in the Goldfields


Sun Tong Lee, Storekeeper and Importer
has large shipments to arrive
from China and Sydney:
Tea, Rice, Sugar, Gentlemen’s Clothing,

boots, first-class English Calfskins, rope, tin ware,
plants in pots (‘very nice presents to those young ladies
who have a taste for floral beauty’), at such low prices
as will enable everyone to patronise him.

‘Any person requiring Chinese workmen
− Labourers, Carpenters, Painters or other
artisans − by applying to the above will be
supplied with reliable men.’

Herbert Street was busy,
especially on Sundays.
Chinese gods frowned on
wasting a good day of the week.


− after Sun Tong Lee’s Sydney Branch Store. Gulgong 1870-1875 − a2822392, the Holtermann Collection

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Surrogacy

It is the stork who labours
to deliver baby Dumbo to his sad
and silent single mother.

The heft of a hundred-kilo sack
had to be held aloft across the Technicolor
map of Disney’s pre-war USA

in search of a moving target—
a humping caterpillar of travelling circus train.
Only a domestic flight,

but imagine the sweet relief
at unlocking his beak, the tension
headache born of bearing an elephant child.

He does his job with a smile,
offers genuine warmth in generous addition
to the contractual requirement of professionalism,

congratulates the long-lashed lady
and relaunches on monochrome wings.
His total screen time amounts to three minutes,

a seasoned bit player,
agent of plot progression,
class act who only weeps in transit.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Late Shift: Notes to Self

(Inspired by Henry Reed)

Rush hour again: a fast lane of drip poles, trolleys and beds
freighting the stricken. That skip needs
to be emptied and bed twenty nine needs a bed pan.
My husband is uncorking a merlot.
It has a bouquet of hibiscus and blackbird song.

Rush hour again: a fast lane of drip poles, trolleys and beds.

Tonight the world has a point to make about frangible bones and hearts.
I am calling down an angel to banish bed fifteen’s pain,
hold the hand of the patient in extremis whom I can’t get to yet.
Outside a white sail of birds is unfurling
and the jacaranda trees are in blossom.

Tonight the world has a point to make about frangible bones and hearts.

This is a cannula and this, the basilic vein. Irritation of the vein
may lead to phlebitis, which in our case we do not want.
Two grams of Flucloxacillin are due at six.
Somewhere other than here children are in bed
and are being read ‘The Wind in the Willows.’

This is a cannula and this, the basilic vein.

With a blood pressure that high, how does her heart hold?
Follow the algorithm ABCDE, never letting anyone see how you feel.
The dressing is soaked with blood. We call it ‘strike through.’
The daylight is draining
and the sunset over the hills is beautiful.

With a blood pressure that high, how does her heart hold?

The weight of the traction is four kilos. To turn bed nine and wash his back,
four nurses will be needed, which in our case we do not have.
He wants the lights left on.
The moons hangs like an aspirin over the city
and the breeze is palliative on my face.

The weight of the traction is four kilos.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

A Hard Poem to Market

This poem does not have a spacious deck for entertaining after a hard day’s reading itself.
It lacks a million dollar view of surrounding majestic mountains, or even filtered sea glimpses.
A poem like this boasts no walk-in wardrobes, parents’ retreats, media rooms, or en suites.
European appliances do not grace the non-existent kitchen in this poorly equipped poem.
Similarly, the bench tops are neither marble, stainless steel, stone-rich, or, indeed, extant.
This poem’s location is not convenient, as there are few shops, schools, or parks nearby.
Public transport does not run within a stone’s throw of this poem’s old, invisible front door.
Although this poem contains three words with the letter ‘x’ in them, it lacks a so-called X Factor.
Speaking of letters, its letterbox is shaped like a transparent snail. That is both lie and joke.
The poem’s garden lacks any sign of birds, toads, water features, trees, grass or space.
The curtains that cover the windows of this poem are all wonky, smoke-coloured Venetians.
A real estate agent has hanged himself using the cords of one of the poem’s most ugly blinds.
One window has a yellowed sheet of newspaper crumpled and pushed into a very large hole.
That improvised plug is made from a page of the real estate section of last week’s local newspaper.
Out of curiosity, you remove the paper, and smooth it out, to see if it reports something interesting.
That is because you do not know, until smoothing it, that it is from the real estate section.
It will not be interesting, but will contain far too many details about a hard poem to market.
Your hopes of finding a bargain are flattened. You leave by that bland, elusive front door.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Excavation

Emptying cupboards from
the pre-Homeric Classroom era,
through strata thick as Schliemann’s Troy.
I am looking for bedrock and
the world before printing
when we worked with our bare minds
or a single piece of paper rolled
soaking wet from a banda machine.
When times were tough, we drank the fluid
and went outside to fight hairy colleagues from other lands.
Who can forget 1978 when that probationer
stole the Headmaster’s wife
and we sailed across the Firth in a fleet of long keeled ships,
the sun glinting on our oars?
Our beards have grown, our blood coarsened,
paper has closed over our bones like sand.
But there is a hot deep wind today at the skip.
It takes the sheets and spins them over rooftops,
all the dense tyrannies of words
gone to air at the end, like birds.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Sewing Class

i.

Each week the headmaster’s wife
darns us into her web of chairs: a design
to mirror the range of her eyes.
She is austere, and caught in the snare
of her husband’s alarm-clock life,
she ticks us off
when our stitches don’t mend her morning.

The fabric is too big for childish hands,
and the needle too small to fit my desire
to quit this room with its young girl giggles
and smell of teacher’s perfume.
She has given me too hard a task:
the needling of a cloth
to make a pattern
for a life I can’t conceive.
But, we are her debutantes on our way
to womanhood, so she stoically treads her path
by fidgeting feet and sew-spastic fingers.

Cotton eyes the needle greedily
pushing through the vacancy
like a cat through its flap to a freeing sunrise.

Needle-threading is much like tying shoelaces;
poking an ant nest with a stick;
or riding a broom-proud steed
through a small gap in the fence to a wood ―
hanging there, the thread is secure as the tie
on the legs of a store-bought chook.

While other busier fingers
brook the challenge of Mrs N’s stare,
my mind wanders to methods of escape.

Bending slowly, head inching over genuflecting knees,
I undo a shoelace.
It’s the start of an idea.
Knots! Knots! and more knots!
So the dangling thread becomes a hangman’s noose;
a yachtsman’s ropey artistry; the tangle of fishing line
in the hands of a tyro on holiday.
Excuse me, please, I have a knot!

It’s one deserving of a prize.
I try not to smile.
I try not to look proud.
She sighs, releases me from the torture-tool of linen
and starts unpicking my knotted herd.
It takes a while.
Knots can be tricky
knots can be hard to tie, unseen,
and she is soon on my third.
I am nine
and the clock tells me it’s eleven.

ii.

Bridging the gap from youth to freedom
is High School and The Treadle.
In these mechanised rows knots are irrelevant.
Each machine wakes its latent industry
by the cradling of a bobbin.
We are given one to keep
so mine will live in a drawer
at home.
It will never meet the Singer, or seam its voice
to the room’s robotic choir.
I am proud I will never sew a stitch
on that maternalising denier of youth.

I am told that next term I will study nutrition;
learn how to cook and how to clean a kitchen.
They are unpicking my world
and sewing me into their fabricated fiction.

I am twelve
and being primed for motherhood.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Orb

noon
when i woke Dawn
long since fallen with a plonk
or was that my child on timber floors
her massive booty surrounded by discarded
labels from the discount sales she crashed at the
top of the main drag last night i remember panning
cock then chasing her Beau who cracked his marbles
my circular keys thought loud & clear for the sake of her
but into the city she escaped a wave in the driveway blue
waterfall hair dishevelling among my pines it occurred
to me how sale after sale my company has lost its name
to cheap jewels & flowers watching on their speckled
eyes flattered without noise our collective breath
decamping like a bright shadow the vodka said
finish me off nothing moved my palace’s
nor my child’s facade I embrace
her in the orb of my
debt

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Little Hank and I

Inside the chateau of crimson knickerbockers
We hopscotch through doorways full of children
One hundred lashes
And a wink from the chariot master
Hiding inside the gift box
Jack-in-the-box
Vegemite on white bread toast
No crust
I don’t recall exactly when I wanted to
Because I want to meet you
Because I’ve never met you

I am the Oxen
Dancing in the fertile dreams of yawning furrows
Blink, Blink
Hey Mr.
With the toucan marvels
Hide me behind the bird song lullabies
I promise to brush my teeth
You’re always sharpening your pencil
Lead is heavy
Hot pink firecrackers
And you fly around the city in your wagon
Howling incandescent hymns out onto the porches
Horticultural snobbery
You taught me a flower is the enigmatic blossoming
Of reform
You have hair that fished in the lake
And feet that held on
I think

I make kite boat silhouettes
I walk great distances
And I see you
Hugging the chair legs
You hold up a nursery
Demanding all of the diamond hydrangeas
For me
But all I wanted was Bobby from Arkansas
Falling asleep
Broad merino clarinet shoulders
You play me the winds of Autumn
Auburn snow grasshoping between the leaves
Succulents
Fingertops
You are close as ever
Because I want to meet you
Because I’ve never met you

You bought me a kite yesterday
Hold my hand
You tell me to look towards the Moon
Follow the needle string
Somewhere between here
And there
You are always under my chin
Look up
Patching melodies that the mountains pluck
I ride on your shoulders from Yosemite to Strathbogie
Your feet tell a story
Size 11 bootstrap braille
Pine needles
Salt bush
You and me tasted it all

I ride the ghost train to school
Route 106
Along the smoky starfish coast
Winding down and pop
The merry-go-round grows off the tall window statues
Packed Tupperware lunchbox
When you get home we’ll dance the foxtrot
No tracks at home
Crouching in the quilted muffling of my lucidity
You bring extra cushions
Bright yellow ladybirds
Hazy blue fabrications
Keep me warm
Because I want to meet you
Because I’ve never met you

I am in love with Frankie
Enamel cups
Candles
And sunsets at Margret’s with Tupelo Honey
Too much red wine
Rushing blood
We are never cold at night
You tell us of the time you went droving
Digging your spurs into the rugged heart of the desert
To muster cleanskin Mickey bulls
Old Murray pulling bores
He’d come back stained forever
And you wake up with the stock camp
Saddle Atlas
And ride off to the next contract
From Heartbreak to Avon Downs
They’d see you at dawn
Akubra saluting the bush gods

That’s why I live in the treetops
In the granite
And the gum nuts
Whistling into the leafy tundra
When the Sun rears its head
Because I want to meet you
Because I’ve never met you

I am over
And under
My floral jungle bouquet youth
And the river is running with breast milk
I am in love with Frankie
And little Hank

But what should I tell him
That you told me
Because I’ve never met you
And you’ve never met me.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

night flying to Vienna

cognac, coffee, water left out for restive insomniacs, reading lights on, in front blondes tucked under branded blankets sleeping pills heads tilted eye masks arms slack; a man dreams and dreams of lilac sheets and women while children wait, long-night-ahead stare at the infinity effect of blue rectangles down the aisle: a three-eyed raven, jugglers, gladiators, sports stars, squabbling warriors, on your screen images to experience but not to keep: two lovers, a night train and promises, stone streets of Vienna, the second movie apart for nine years, the lovers forever magicked in her Paris apartment in the middle of the night.

you study it for an ideal, above Mumbai, above war zones, oil of Kurdistan, lights of Tehran are down there, beef stroganoff in cling wrap, moonshine ripples on the Euphrates, stone houses of Cappadocia, Istanbul, a nocturnal rhombus of lights surrounding a black sea black heart. know that this darkened cylinder is held together by greasy string and ragged feathers. the thrum of collective wills keeps this impossibility howl in the air. a child snuggled in your arms sucks her thumb, your fields of marriage are ploughed with salt

lights 3.30am, a false dawn reheated toastie, weak tea and one-more-chance thinking, the line of flight map has no answer, captain announces third movie in the series, two more betrayals, the lovers on Crete with children, dinner on the terrace, fight in a hotel suite, future as provisional as our immediate survival in this silver tube. breakfast trays collected, the descent, passengers’ will to survive becomes vigilant, local time, local weather, flight twenty-two hours you’ve been travelling nine years through spousal sectors, trays stowed, smoking sign off seat belt sign on, clunk as the wheels go down, shiver through the plane

bank to the left, line up the runway, whine of air brakes, seats upright, you stand to access overhead locker, find the colour of lilac eyes, his lies, cheats, his dirty sheets. this closed society holds their breath as the wheels touch down, waits for the nose-dive into the runway – a hop, a skip, a bump and grounded, may never know if the lovers reconcile or part.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Rubies

Glow White and the Three Dwarfs Remaining —
Sneezy, Sleazy and Greasy: we were just
guys together, once, digging up diamonds, pals —
then this whirlwind of womanhood
descended on us out of the forest
with her perfume, her mystery and her periods.
She owned this Summer Retreat — Gnome, Alaska —
perched on a mountain covered with glittery gneiss
and a pool that nobody swam in. Or
so she said: who could tell? Then
her winter home in the Republic of Ireland,
tax, natch. We were just rubes della bosca,
hicks and hayseeds with a stash of gems,
blokey yokels with a thuggish charm,
or so she’d have us believe. What happened
to the other four? No one can remember.
Nodding off among the gloomy furniture.
She’s gone again, with that Lothario,
to ‘liquidate’ a sack of rubies in Lausanne.
Tell us again, Sleazy, the one about
Sleepy and the Doc, the good old days,
before things changed, and we got to be rich.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Sangsue

Between a rust-rot mailboat and the skeletons of textile factories
the boy Rodin
floats in the cold shallows of the Aude’s mudflats with the current,
dodging leeches

while men do the wash. There are cattle on the sand beneath the wheeze
of seagulls. Home,
firing the sootcoated kettle, his mother checks him, and in the scalp
of dark hair one little witch

marooned, slick and sucking. Mother fumbling at it, a concentration-vein
like a taproot in her forehead pulsing,
crumbs of light through the window, the smack of spades in the distance.

~~~ ~~~

The first sangsue: immigrant witches at the wound – Gypsy, Jew or Dago combing
neatly the hair of small
pale children before concussing and boiling them. Or simply bog women
leech-trafficking in nearby

villages. In each peasant house, beside purple cabbage and aromatic onions, a glass
in the window where the beasts
were kept. And second, the Cardinal of Lorraine, drawing undue profit
from his many offices

in the corporate body of Christ, conducted the St. Bartholomew’s Day
massacre. Sanitation
was the Queen’s concern, so the bodies were sold back to families for burial,
or wheeled in carts over the berry- blackened

streets to the Seine, weighted and lost to shadows that moved. Years on,
Parisians still drank from the river
as Gideon’s men, skimming the surface with a bowl, or lapping the water, as
dogs, who like Jehovah

are more sanitary than magical, for the springs and streams of Palestine
abounded in leeches,
which when swallowed stuck in the throat, causing hemorrhaging.

~~~ ~~~

Not an unbroken piece of furniture in the house, Buñuel kneels at his desk,
where he put his head
down, the blue capillaries under skin as thin as rice paper, with the hard-focused
eyes of a man

one week at the bottom of a lake. Boils, jaundice, grippe; bread and potatoes
for days. He writes
a friend from the toilet, “I was so depressed last night that I would have
put my head in the gas oven,

if I wasn’t too frightened of the children to go into the kitchen. All of this because
of a sebaceous cyst in my armpit,
which happily, the doctor has just drained with his little ‘assistants’.”

~~~ ~~~

Da Vinci was so mesmerized by the rippling of leeches propelling themselves
through water—like Papal
streamers in strong winds—that he sketched them in red chalk, trying to capture
their motion (the fastest swimmers

are the hungriest) for his friend Luca Borgia who died having an aneurism under
a blind moon,
whose body was dragged by French infantryman, still flushed from a bog
and left, covered

in small black flags that wilted the man, and when fat on him dropped lazily away.

~~~ ~~~

Lille’s old executioner-cum-doctor, dwarf-faced and neck-wrinkled
now sucks the blood
from a street boy’s wrist with professorial reserve while his men keep the kid
from screaming.

Years before, ridding the city of its voyeurs of dog copulation
and mockers of rats and monkeys,
he watched as epileptics bucked beneath the scaffold at executions,
slavering to catch

enough still-warm blood for a cure – the sticky stuff rilling
over their pates and paunch.

~~~ ~~~

Though they feel pain, and are terrified by the idea, sufferers of Lesch-Nyhan
syndrome are uncontrollably
driven to tear and bite away parts of themselves. While a man’s wife turned
her back to wash

the mulch from her calves, he moved from a staring at photo of a worker
dangling precariously
from a water tower, to picking his ear, to biting the tip of his right ring-finger
off. Like children, with their

mania for taking out dolls’ eyes to see what’s behind them. Later, doctors
placed maggots
on the necrotic flesh of infected wounds.

~~~ ~~~

Ut beattitudo illis magis complaceat – Aquinas promised the blessed a gift:
a vision: the agonies
of the damned; at ten Antonioni began building puppets and model sets
for them. An adult,

he wanted to make a documentary about the local mental hospital in the antique
and silent town
of Ferrara. The patients—sanguisuga, the orderlies called them—helped him set up
the equipment. Then

he turned on the floodlights. “They went berserk,” he wrote, “and their faces—
which had been
absent—became convulsed and devastated. It was the director of the asylum
who finally yelled

to stop. And in the dark we felt a swarm of bodies like muddrifts taking our legs.”

~~~ ~~~

Prescribed for everything from obesity to nymphomania, Rodin
was treated
for stroke with six plump leeches clinched to his face. A child, he broke a jar
of them, and for nights

lay awake imagining the parasites crawling his length, half expecting to wake
to the floors under water,
to sheets drenched, by himself, if not by the work of “the fat red and black
bâtard.” Now, even

on his deathbed he has the blush of a consumptive, fresh from a cloakroom
fuck. Afraid to be alone,
he is “visited” by sangsue – the physician brings them in a moist velvet-lined
medical bag. So, companions

for fifty years and soon to be wed, Rose Beuret sits beside the difficult and palsied
artist who confides in a stupor,
that his first desire was to be a horse, a bowl of additional leeches in her lap
in case of a second stroke.

Near death, he pleads to have them removed; they are hanging from his nose
and slipping
into his mouth as le cheval gallops into the migraine-darkened afterlife
with the breath of loosened soil.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

La Florista

Every morning we heard her bell.
It is La Florista on her parti-colour triciclo.

I am four years old, my mother
and I always go out to welcome her.

She looked Japanese but with coppery
skin. Wearing a straw hat, she always arrived

with a smile. She came in winter too,
but in my memory La Florista brings

mornings with the sun warm on my skin. My mother,
a young woman as vivacious as the flowers,

carefully selects – chrysanthemums one day,
gladioli another, some days roses,

some days carnations. I watch fascinated, marveling
at this ebullience in colour. Before La Florista leaves

she makes a small bouquet from oddments with short stems,
passing it me, smiling, saying, for you to give

to Saint Martin.Then she rides off on her triciclo,
calling out her farewell, and I watch her go.


Poem translate from The Spanish by Carol Jenkins.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged ,

Loom

I have seen them weave in the evening by lamplight
which creates effects that bring Rembrandt to mind.

–Vincent van Gogh, 1884


& then, in the world that was her mother –
when the sky was mauve
& her dress a spotted pink
she saw as clearly as day dawned
the light from her mother’s loom
wild and wizened for her years
she saw it tilt as it moved before her

just as her mother had seen it
years before, had heard it
years before, that clank
heavy as cloth

stretched and pulled
fitted and flowered
loud before her

& she quinced
her breath

blown loud
in her ears

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Riding the Rotor with No End in Sight

You can’t even make time
to kick a football with your own son,
my wife says one night,
when my boy is already asleep.
I drop him at Before School Care
each morning & tell him
to have a good day. Work’s busy
at the moment, I say.
I want to tell him that I love him,
but I don’t. I manage change in others,
but not myself. I just work.
I work smarter, harder, longer.

The wall behind me spins
& my no-crease business shirt clings
to it. My laptop & mobile phone
stick as well. The floor drops away,
yet I don’t fall. I’m safe up here.
Sex is merely a memory
I’m too tired to have.
This is my life, I might think,
if there was time to think.
But there are calls to make,
meetings to arrange, work
to do. My stomach churns.
I’m stranded. So I do what men
do—I get on with the work.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

New Moon

for my bardibardi kujaka:
Gloria Friday, Marjorie Keighran & Clara Roberts

This is my recovery road, to follow the bardibardi
into the Gulf’s wild pharmacy; I let myself
surrender
to those hallelujah hands outstretched
to a sandalwood’s leafy collection
dis one dumbuyumbu an millad mob
boil jungkayi tea, tis pick you up
:

continuing to choose our leaves
between cabbage palms and billygoat plums, three kinds
of paperbarks and bikabaji green plums,
we arrive at a shrub, dog’s balls, and everyone
cracks it: tis one kurranga, dem hangin’ sweet lil-fruit:

as we walk these medicine trails of baked black earth
we watchfully step the tessellated tiles
of the sandy-poor bush floor
and the bardibardi sing their appeasement to spirits –
corralling us gently to a billabong’s shade:

we wash our leaves
before adding them to a billycan’s brown rolling boil
and as we drink together
the bardibardi tell me of the blind mermaid
of Robinson River:

a moonstricken old lady
journeyed to an exhaustion’s
drowning in a billabong’s calm lily pad
run on water:

her blind transformation from breathless
air to a reservoir’s faint trailing
song percolates through this lost city
of stratified sandstone spires and columns
as the curlew cries, grief-stricken,
against the acclaimed phases of the moon:

depression scarring
is cheeky history inhaled
as trauma’s din and breaching
the efficacy of our bardibardi’s jungkayi bush brew –
in a spent aftermath
we are left reading leaves for traces
of blind worry-bird’s shared resurrection
in the slender crescent of a new moon.


Bardibardi: is Indigenous language (Yanyuwa/Garrawa) in the Gulf region of northern
Australia for respectfully referring to older women.

Kujaka: is Indigenous language (Yanyuwa/Garrawa) in the Gulf region of northern
Australia for respectfully referring to your mother and her sisters.

Millad: is Kriol in the Gulf region of northern Australia for the first person plural
pronoun: we, us, our.

Jungkayi: is Indigenous language (Yanyuwa/Garrawa) in the Gulf region of northern
Australia for a person who stands in a guardian relationship to the ceremonies of
managing his/her mother’s Country. Today this term is often used to mean ‘boss’, ‘most
important’ or even ‘policeman’ and is also used widely by members of the Gudanji and Mara
peoples.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

City Birds

And the crow was the big black bin bag
and the big black bin bag was the crow
and their blackness shimmered
taking the light to purple

And their struggle separated them, bird and bag
a bridge formed only by a sharp beak
pecking, tearing, woodpeckering
the bloated blackness at his feet

And the incision was a keyhole to the blackness
Snowfalls of paper threaded out; a magician’s hankies
Discarded, shaken from the skewering beak
The skin, the fat: to the guts of it

And a smaller bag of viscera found within
cut through and through and through
And the big black bin bag erupts a lava flow of scraps
And low, the happiness of crows

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Grief

I floated away on a cloud of grief
Unable to steer back to ordinary life
Tears would not dissolve the cloud
Nor prayers
One day the cloud became a wreath, and I slipped through it back to the world
And I put the wreath around my neck
But under my coat
And people would say to me, you seem to be doing better.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

working from home – to do list

12 buttons brown thread
take your psyche for a walk
pack the wheelchair
into the station wagon
for the doctor’s
kiss the cat
kiss the cat?
the cat died years ago
water the herbs
pray over the olive tree
drench your yesterdays in salt water
mend your mother’s trousers
get the sewing machine serviced
forgive someone something
try to remember what it was
cook tea tonight
it’s your turn
get the washing off the line
before it rains
make another list
fill the thesaurus
check the oil and water
in the dictionary
find a page of tomatoes
in the fruit bowl
stack the bookshelves with rice
dust the wattle
water the nouns and verbs
prune the adjectives and adverbial clauses
write a downpipe print a seedling
phone a friend
take yourself out and shake
the crumbs onto the grass
listen to mozart or the clash
bpay something
narrate a tree or a mote of dust
eat hopkins drink leonard cohen
smell the first leaves of your next book
brew them in your best pot
haiku your neighbour’s cat
finish your new cardigan
put teardrops into a dry eye
leave nothing out
and everything in the rain
including yourself
writing

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Tokyo Plushie

i can remember you smoking. the yakitori
diner warm light in narita. confessing
that my heartbeat feels uncomfortable.
consonants skipping, fetishising language,
realising repeatedly that i am mostly
mechanical. all told there is no irony. i cannot
see the cinema, folding into place, melting
quickly. the subway thrums & pulses. inside
i flip the flipped picture. i can remember
you smoking, end day light bristling off
beige asakusabashi height. this city tows
memory out to sea, knotting fingers in
hair, skin lapping salt against the sides.
i’ll go snowboarding later, face first lips split
on an icicle. you smile through two degrees
of separated feet, an arms length apart,
a spin of the globe away. i can remember
you smoking, disappearing into the sky.
back home perth bursts & simmers in
summer, stars play elevator love letter
& serena relays it wasn’t worth being there.
yosuke & i climb sunshine city to find
high lights red through blurred glass blinking
sofia copolla style. in akihabara with adrian
searching for shock value & finding
male only 18 plus four floors up from
one piece paraphernalia & variations
on totoro plushie. outside the road reels
bass notes, tides of talk, fresh chalk on
fingers, an answer i shouldn’t have given
to follow olivia’s question. i can remember
you smoking. the truth ruins everything
when it dies. electrons in a severed wire.
the trains the trains the trains. the time.
there needs to be a circuit here. a self
reinforced trajectory. the blood of the pacific
current. a cold & foggy morning. reciting
the years calender. my language won’t
live forever. come back to this one later.
i am invading. i am america. i am
a remake of godzilla. i am cliches coming
true at shibuya’s famous crosswalk. i am
the english language labelled version.
i am bill murray; scarlett johansson.
the disney fish market day dissolving.
i am words. i am nothing. nine
floors of shirts neon through me,
regularity guaranteed. i feel it
rumble under my feet. these tunnels
are well worn. i can remember you
smoking. i love you haemoglobin.
this oxygen packs endorphins. it’s
3am, again. karaoke. we had beer & warm
sake. there is no word for fuck, the
closest swear is shitty. you swore
the great gatsby still holds up.
you grab my shirt & pull me. when
you kiss me everything shakes
in & out of focus. my head moshes
into morning. my voice gives out.
i can remember you smoking. it’s
shitty cold in narita. you americans
order so much food & eat
all of it. this i laugh about later
to no-one in particular.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Work Is

‘We stand in the rain in a long line
waiting at Ford Highland Park. For work.’
Phillip Levine, ‘What work is.’


1. JANUARY

you’ve waited for work
and it has come
marking gratis all weekend
the head smashed and foggy
reading Bad English
does that to you walking for air
suburban footpaths
sway and meet: vertigo

2. FEBRUARY

admin thank themselves
your desk is clear
your pass surrendered
walking down through the park
a blinding sun says nothing

3. MARCH

a)
salary payment
rent tick
food tick
phone tick
health ins tick

b)
rent move?
food ?
phone x
health ins xx

park bench seat in the gloom
ghostly moon shadow of cypresses

4. APRIL

and who is that walking towards you
transparent ghost
newsprint skin
brain spooling
employment websites
family of ghosts
shoulders hunched
carrying minimal shopping

5. MAY

we want you
we want you
we need you
we
want
you

coming up

and the valley
between?

and admin thank themselves
and work is?
a bonus for cutting

you

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

The Club

[audio:http://cordite.org.au/audio/the-club-mciver.mp3|titles= The Club by Ruth McIver] (1:55)

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Anticipation

The nosy dib, grub, moil
of a prickly neighbour
has razed another anthill,
routing the troops – a spill
of broken rosaries that soon
rethread and reconnoitre to rebuild,
with instinct, the overseer,
directing the jet-black trickle’s
spurt-stop-start.
It’s an old film’s jerky flow,
this swapline of kiss:
one pheromone-tracking,
flickering unit of formic work,
that scoops and carries and stacks.
Team spirit is their religion,
Many anticipating One,
the Tao of all such tiny mindful toil.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

Bear Hunt

Bears pursue me
their button eyes
stitched in a factory
are cruel with the boredom
of their making

cuddling is futile,
these bears, born vengeful,
will not be deterred
they are under the doona
they are into my ears
they are inside my sleep.

They are soft police
gone vigilante, egging my
creaking sleep criminal,
as I beat to pulp
(do you ever dream in noir?)
the intruders creeping in
to steal my child.

night after night after night
I am woken by the
clench of cortisol
and the shame of things
I can’t explain:

the hot frustration of my heart,
an impotence from long ago,
grown narrative tumours,
to defend the origin from cure.

Inside my pounding
outside is quiet
the children are serene
I am unworthy of their innocence
until the grit subsides.

The bears cast their cold eyes
it is crowded where they come from,
the days are long – and who can afford
to waste their rest
like this.

I almost detect a cruel smile,
as if my grinding teeth and paranoia
were coffee and donuts
on the long watch until
they slip back undercovers
where their girl will love them
with her best pretend
again.

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged

mensa / the table

lay me on the table and remove
the child whose feet walked up my belly
under northern stars to kiss the fish
at new year lay me on the table
and remove the child
born under southern stars the summer bird
arrowing between green waves lay me on the table
take out the lens of one eye
and unfold the polymer wing
of another so that light bounces in
to the dark camera even underwater
or walking out to the point lay me on the table
but save the little house where my children kicked
unless there is no other way lay me on the table
take out the other lens and land another wing
where it will show me fish in the window
of a translucent wave the swallow diving
to kiss the surface of the water
half river and half incoming sea
for I have need of all these the dark and the light
their eyes and mine waiting in rooms close by
and far away lay me on the table
I am not afraid and wish to see the stars again

Posted in 71: TOIL | Tagged