I look in here—this
notebook—& see
the notes for the
last review I did,
& note—that I am
about to write another.
Tho I would rather
write something else.
I whistle
bop a bit
try not to think
of the
vast tide of crap
the exhibition represents,
check
the sky: sere,
grey, pale up
one end of the street,
almost Neapolitan
at the other:
pale, but a distinct
blue,
with some dark smudged stain
drifting over it,
much closer to
than the far blue behind—
blown,
in those paintings,
from a volcano nearby—
almost like flak
in the old movies.
(Goya’s mantilla,
& parasol—
& the rumour
that nothing lasts forever)
#
It makes the sky darker too
an atmosphere
not a backdrop
#
a small figure, further down
Hindley Street
is crossing the road—I recognise
the coat
as much as the figure—
but who?
#
It is about time
I had a drink with Crab.
About time
for a lot of things. What
to do about this
art?
I whistle ‘You’re My Thrill’,
the beginning—but, whistling it,
I end up, as always,
with the ‘Perry Mason Theme’
(I think)
(it is
so long
since I have actually heard it)
Instantly recognisable
when I was a kid.
I thought I didn’t like it—now it
seems I do
or something
cousin to it.
‘You’re
My Thrill’. Then
‘Couldn’t It Be You’—
I wonder what
the connection is —
the key, the pattern,
somehow relates?
Its
calming effect
when I whistle it.
So,
resignation, ‘getting on with things’.
Hate to turn
a beautiful tune
into a tic, a
neurotic response
tho again, luckily,
it is only the first few bars
I remember this way,
the rest of the song
is safe,
unretrievable.
When I play it
I smile.
This
art then,
what to do about it?
Inflated in scale, naive,
‘done’ when its theme is recognised
— like slogans
for a moral position.
As if the viewer
should tick a
box, in approval,
& move on
perhaps ‘liking’ it
on their facebook page.
(their ‘mental’ facebook page)
Does anybody do that,
like it that much
that they could bother to register
this vote (?) their
‘shared concern’?
I doubt it.
But then
I am whistling the wrong tune.
I read in Denton Welch
(the Journals)
of some gypsies he hears
coming home from the pub
singing ‘Bye Bye Blackbird’
1946
My father used to sing that song.
I love it.
The opening notes
of the John Coltrane version.
My father
sang it often enough
for me to know the words.
Denton, near the end—
“Chopin pours over me from the wireless.
Nothing but this small picture will be left
of the day. Many years after, people may
be able to read then say, ‘He was cold; he
watched the sunset; he ate a chocolate,’ but
nothing more will be left to them.”
#
Today I worried happily,
wrote stuff, ‘asseverated’,
was alive.
It was supposed
to get cold—but it didn’t.



