And This Too Shall Pass

After Hera Lindsay Bird

You make me want to lick all the stars for their strawberry centres

And then, sick from those candy hearts, I would clamber into our bed and
Hold your too long limbs in a
Sympathy with my
Too short patiences and
I would gently promise to plant the damned aquilegias, and

To paint the ceiling in the outdoor dunny
That shade of blue I hate
But that you love, and
I would promise to never again come at you
Cold and blinking like those hollowed out stars.

You make me want to dig into the winter soil and
Take out the earthworms, to give them a better
Life inside jars of compost, warmed by a
Double glazed sun.

You make me want to find the point of scintillation
On a Mediterranean wave and
Dance up from the surface,
Into the blue depths while,
From a blue yarn of the pale light
I knit a hauberk to keep you immortal.

You make me want to lie under the shade of the linden tree
On a spring’s mild day
With my face in a sunspot
Burning
Knowing that the lines of damage
I am creating
Are MEMENTOS
Of this day
Of this you and this me.

Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

South

yet with cameras and caps, how
diluted this tanker’s oil streaming
through wharves, cashed
town searching for extremities,
habitat of buses; here we are,
we are on time. i too have followed
the landed coast, prodigal breath
thrusting salt over headlands,
worrying wings of hair;
i threw the beach
in your face and brightened
birds you flew.
latitudes, can
we align? Good Hope, del
Fuego, clasp hands: pole-
stretched arrows, meeting
the reclusive ice half way.

Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

Antonio Gramsci

You posed the Southern Question
while waging war in the trenches
of bourgeoisie fantasy.
You drank languages & histories.

Mussolini drank your blood.
Unswayed by victory,
you refused to genuflect before teleology.
Breaking with Hegel–surpassing Croce–

you made prose into poetry.
Fragile wrists pouring over notebooks
in a staccato more rigid
than the bars of your cell.

You are the particles of shivering light,
on the crossbars of your smoky windowpanes.
Recipient of deposits made by history
without the benefit of an inventory.

The task, you said, is to make that inventory.
You are the politics your body rejected.
Optimism of the will,
pessimism of the intellect.

You are eyes-wide-open despair,
hope plus seeing, will plus being.
Vico’s son, made by history
the “we” born into poetry.

You are the name on the lips
of every freedom hungry soul.
Agitator of peasant visionaries,
mobilizer of dreams forged in factories,

democratizer of beauty, leading
the Communist Party
to question reality.
For the US Senator testifying

to the House Ways & Means Committee,
you are an agitator
for the destruction
of Western democracy.

The jottings your sister-in-law
removed from your prison cell quietly,
the unpublished masterpiece
that will merge with eternity.

Family torn from your arms,
your wife removed in Russia,
your son seen once in the airport
before he vanished from your horizon.

You directed his education
from your prison cell,
Gramsci, whose mother
considered her son

the state’s enemy number one
Anti-utopian of universal equality,
theorizer of the new society,
you are no martyr, Gramsci,

just an organizer
accelerating
the revolution
rooted in reality.

Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

One Last Gin And Tonic At La Hacienda

Another G&T please,
with some orange peel.

You try to drown
your ailing thoughts,
they seem to sink at first,
but in the end resurface,
can stay afloat on any booze.
You stay sick in turn.
Luckily for me,
there are cool bartenders,
quick and gentle youths.
They are smart,
besides professional,
can read both your face and mind,
have good words and smiles for you,
with discretion,
but know when to become serious,
wearing a mildly reproving look
over their indulgent grin,
and definitely convince you
that the time has come,
however bad it all still feels,
to put down the Copa de Balon
and walk back home.

Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

Don’t look too closely

The cold of winter haemorrhages
as raised circles of flesh
bump down to skin on knees
the texture of underripe peaches,
teeth hurt from bighting down
the chatter of days
bows low.

The second cup of coffee
turns into a third
days are full of lay ins and layered clothes,
my conscience, like tangled hair,
is not worthy of reflection
I choose my wardrobe to hide the comfort
then balance it up with more.

Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

Wattlebird

Wattlebird as poet,
declaims from leafy balcony,
to perceived audience,
which is just me,
far as I can see but
bard has my attention.
Wattlebird has conviction,
says what only it can say
to a dozy world in need
of an unwelcome alarm.
Wattlebird keeps lookout,
may look nervous but won’t
be eaten by murderous cat.
No garish parrot, wattlebird
wants to be heard not seen,
blends with bark and branch.
Wattlebird has a map leading
to sweet honey but its song
is acid to the ear,
so jarring to hear.

Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

Ö

343. revelation: one beautiful loss I hold into
               like small prayer, my recent fall
                               the distance
                                   I see

       	       1 0 2 a
       	       the sixth of August, invoice

7011
the picture inside my head is the picture inside
my head is the box in which you speak is the
symptom behind the door is the short glimpse
next to the word next to itself: pre-occupied

       	       1 0 2 b
       	       (my emphasis)
       	       a cubic metre of God

       	       16. I lay these hours, as you might said
       	       overlooked

       	       1 0 2 c
       	       1 0 2 d
       	       one thousand


in himself     I am not
Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

Clinton Rec Centre

All dem kids sittin’ round laughin and talkin’ shit—
boys with corn rows and lined up fros wearin baggies
playin ball on the indoor courts at the Clinton Rec.
Healthy activities for young black/hyspanic/po-white bodies
was typed on the funding application.
The Youth Worker has a 270 degree view from his peeling laminate desk
hidden behind striped two-way shatter-proof glass,
the office door stays open, he likes to be accessible.
Bleary eyes zero in on the clock on the far wall of the court,
its hand points out the last seconds of his twelve hour shift.
All dem girls sitting round on plastic chairs and uneven tables
belting out the lyrics to En’Vogue and Blackstreet
TLC and Brownstone
they own doze lyrics—harmonies are on point
bell rings
5pm
lights off; tha singin don’t stop
it jus flows down the cement steps and out into S Hicks street.

STOP COPS

Weedy lil copper man
powerless but for beige and brown cotton
black and silver steel.
This is routine.
Standing at the bottom of steps. He speaks through his nose,
“Y’all think y’all so good don’t ya?”

The crowd of youths that may have been happy stop
posed on each step lower their masks of no expression,
well educated in being Black/Hispanic/po-white by elders who are still alive
conditioned responses to the taunts of the Tennessee constabulary.
“THESE KIDS HAVE NO RESPECT!”
murmurs.

The temptation to give these Mutha Fuckas what they expect
attempts to incite in head voices and murmurs, speaking to indignation and a young man’s ego
Only its disembodied voice rises above the baseline hum of the crowd, “Pig!”
Non-violence
meets
non-violence
Not seeking a cause for the effect of fists, rebel words rise out of the pavement
no stepping off to let them pass
TARGET ACQUIRED
“Cop killas, all up in they chest, and I know what to do with that vest, man.
Twenty-two shots. I killa.
You don’t want to fuck with Bone, nigga. And it really ain’t shit to pu1l a trigger
on a copper, ’cause if I go down, some of y’all goin’ down, ’cause I’m goin’
down poppin’.
So muthafuck all coppers. Let me catch you slippin’, nigga, bet I pop ya.

the children’s chorus
POP POP,
POP POP,
POP POP
POP POP,
POP POP,
POP POP
POP POP

to tha sky three fingers tucked, thumb
and pointer cocked
POP POP,
POP POP,
POP POP
POP POP,
POP POP,
POP POP
POP POP

DIRECT HIT

Weedy cop and his light-skin offsider sink back into the sidewalk
beige shirts morphing with the twilight and smog from the nearby powerstation.

The wounded limp home to nurse their injuries with Koolaid and Super Mario
Triumphant in victory only until the chorus of Bone Thugs dies inside their ears.


This poem includes an extract from ‘No Surrender’ by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony © RUTHLESS RECORDS 1994.

Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

City of Bones

For Barkin Ladi

In war, people leave their burdens behind
and I too have tried to leave my language

but it wouldn’t wash off my tongue.
All my life I’ve been running.

My body knows violence and its provenance:
Barkin Ladi, a city buried in its ruins.

Here, I lost an arm. Some nights it tugs at me
in a dream. Other nights, I’m in a pool of sweat,

afraid that the burning city may find me.
In this dream, I hear the small voice of my father

talking in his language of loss. He says
“boy, your body is a city of bones

and though it’s not set to run
you will never own it.”

My father is a mound of ash.
I see the fire in his eyes

and I begin to run
I’m running from my father

who is running from the city
that owns him.

Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

resistance in 10 parts

             1.
compulsion of meaning
             a diversion towards logic
             within impossible silence

             2.
sick collectivity, correct line 
individualist-pack-mentality-jumble-of-vomit
chasin’ the double taps
^ THIS.

             3.
expectation: 1, 2, 3.
reality: 3 souls – 1 forlorn baby
                               2 clueless adults 
                               1 silent child
4 novels 2 cars 1 mortgage
replicated, rinsed, repeated
resisted lol

you-wouldn’t-know-alienation-cos-it-stares-you-in-the-face

             4.
i-don’t-wanna-make-it-look-like-anything
that ok with youse?

             5.
compulsion of attention
ooh here it comes,
grab-it-grab-it-nab-it-get-it

like kids watching bubbles
rise, sink, pop on the grass.

such magic, such wonder, bright eyes
insights and metrics and algorithms

coming to bankable voice
threats implicit

capitalise on it before silence falls.

             6.
guilty pleasures while the planet burns
go out in style eh yeew

             7.
ooh,
it’s a bit like hurling 
non-stop for seven years,
i guess,
endless crampy labour
while a man yells helpless nearby,
             haemorrhaging from his eyeballs
and a homunculus sits in your lap
tearing shit up

             8.
what is coming to voice
when he ain’t got one??

             9.
you wanna know resistance?
watch it falter at school pick-up.
ten weeks at a time
mind the 40 zone

tall-fences-bright-green-shirts
tight-lipped-smiles

             10. 
betchathinkyaknowdon’tcha
Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

Pulled Into the Future

u walk down the hallway & into the bedroom
u wake ur mum up & ask her to sign ur permission slip
she screams at u, 冷心的孩子 (u cold hearted child)

u try to force urself back into ur body
but u can only watch urself
walk down the hallway & into the bedroom
& rouse ur mum & get screamed at again

u want to be back in ur body now
but u r pulled back; all the way back this time
past the living room, and the other bedrooms, and the kitchen
and the window. the window in the kitchen
thru which u notice the sun
and wot u think u are morning sounds
and there is sth there; with the sun and the sound
and the melting of ur cold <3

But before u can judge urself for seeing this
or doubt whether it’s real
Adult T appears
and she steps in front of tiny T
who is still just standing there in her school uniform, holding the permission slip
in her tiny lil hands

And after this blip everything goes quiet
Ur adult body is absorbing all of the screaming
Ur not facing toward ur mum; but urself
U have ur arms around small T
Ur hunched over her so no part of her body is exposed
And she just stands there in her school uniform, holding the permission slip
On which words have now appeared

But before u can read them
Or doubt whether they’re real
You start to cry
because u cannot believe that after all this time
You get to save urself


The title of this poem is from 10:04 by Ben Lerner.

Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

Nature’s Terror

old spirit woman interoperates the breeze
for the seeds; it only blows from there in

times of distress – let this be a warning.
anxious fauna have commenced migration

to peaks of fortune; oblivious while resting on
heaven’s pillow – light headed, the air is thin.

acute senses provide warning of the turbulent
hysteria approaching; old woman apprehends

the message stick – their skates pierce the ice.
time is a prison, the breeze a catapult but

the walls hold strong; there is no escaping
the invading army – no prisoners, no spoils.

Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

Waiting for the Militants

‘And now, what’s going to happen to us without barbarians?
They were, those people, a kind of solution’. — Cavafy

Why have we stopped?
Have we arrived at the village?
Is this the border?

There is a large assembly of people on the road…
I do not know what place this is,
but if it is not the border, it certainly is the fringe.

Why are the people, men, women and children,
gathered in a circle? What are they looking at?

They are looking at fishermen
sitting around a large pool
that has formed on the road.

But why has the entire population turned out?

They are waiting for us to write
about a fish pond that has formed
on a road that is no road;
to write about the villagers
fishing for fishes that do not exist.

What do they hope to achieve?

They have been waiting for the politicians
who never come; they hope the information
will at least bring others from across the border;
but most of all, they are waiting for the militants.

The militants?

They are, these people, a kind of hope.

Shall we return home, then?

We have come here to write about our border villages;
their livelihood and the amenities provided to them…

If we have seen a fish pond that has formed
on a road that is no road
and villagers fishing for fishes that do not exist,
what else do we need to write about?

Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

Seeing Eyes

Pretending I can’t find my bi yoo bibioo
simply because she has covered her eyes
gives her as much joy as the silly faces
I sometimes pull. Out of the 43 facial muscles
I should have, I stretch, contract, contort,

conjure shapes that get the desired reaction.

But when she hides she is in control – even
ridicules me for not seeing her: I’m right
here, Daddy,
she screams, then runs to hug me.
Already the time is coming when the trick will be

too old. I know so well how soon our pleasures go.

I recall hiding from my grandma. Her dark eyes
imprisoned behind cataracts, I was always stunned
how easily she found me. She didn’t even move;
she just pointed, and my reaction was always – How?

Some quality of those hours with her is how I see God:

something of her certainty that I had my late father’s
physiognomy just from the sound of my voice; how
she hugged this inherited body, this borrowed
shape and hue, close to her, cradled its shifting
face, seeing and loving a grandchild with no eyes.

Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

Circus Poem

a brothel run out of an apartment (high-rise on Eglington
those places were asking to be busted, basically, the neighbours
don’t like it); I only worked there a few shifts, later
I saw it in the paper
but for some other crime thing
it had a fountain with no water, a Grecian sculpture
verdigris bowl and circular driveway
cracked, plants grown over. I want to say

the owner had rabbits. I want to
say that but it may not be true. The room floats
not so much hazy as a blown-out photograph
whisked in front of my face repeatedly as I try to glimpse
a cage on the floor
in front of the window/balcony? Hexagonal wire? A cloud of fur?
And an idea
that there was a baby or babies (human ones
that is), rather than an image of it/them, was this

this apartment, or some other? Trying
to get to the truth
of images like this, it doesn’t
get you anywhere but the itch, once scratched, hard
to leave alone and you think (little addict you)
this time (maybe) you’ll get through…these images
I can no more control when they come as I could
the impulse to take that first drink
a hallway arrives

and a room on the right, a futon, a man
in a checkered jacket, oranges and browns
a gold necklace snaking in a nest of chest chair
acne scars along cheekbones like cordilleras, musta

given him my number because later we’d meet at his donut store
and he’d drive us to his house in Scarborough
(his wife visited her mother on weekends)
pictures of the wife, mermaid-long hair and flawless
almond eyes, why would he cheat on her with me
I thought, and felt embarrassed about
that aspect? (Yeah I know); this man

one of those who liked to tell me how much money he had
pull out hunks of silver and gold, shove watches under my nose
gesture at dining room table candelabras; affix
dollar amounts. His low-roofed house cluttered
as a tchotchke emporium
he never tipped me
and often counted out the last ten in loonies and toonies. You

are the best
he’d tell me…for sex
and with that pause there, every time, I thought maybe
meant to be half a sentence
e.g. You are the best, for sex, BUT
no good for x, y, z…?
But he never added anything so maybe

just mantra/reassurance: that I was money well-allocated
the best product at the best price. I
smiled and laughed (of course). This may have been the extent
of our conversation. He liked
to sit with me in the donut store before we went to his house
wanted his employees to see me
he said, for them to know he had a mistress
(if they thought he was paying me that was fine too
I think, maybe better, not sure), well
they didn’t appear interested in anything their boss was doing

one time I showed up in a leather jacket I’d found at
Kensington Market, totally funky, oversize with square pockets
motley like peeling paint
or desert topographies
he went straight to the car (an SUV, I want to say beige
a flash of beige coffee cup holders; is that real? was that
this SUV?) well
he motioned for me to get in. No mistress of mine

he said, should wear rags like that. I felt red and hot
arrows and pinned to the seat, mumbling apologies
into my lap. I hated
to displease anyone, especially in person. I had fewer

problems with disappearing however, so later I stopped
answering his calls. The whole rigmarole
as I saw it, took a lot of time, and he only ever paid me for an hour

Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

Floating point

The first transgressions have always occurred
In vehicles. Voyages emit new laws of the wind
Clothed in stolen gold—the hero beyond tragedy
Stands on the shore having discovered nothing.
Shield islands—plumes of headland nodding nearer
Farther off breaking coastline vanishing patternless
Into the present. Long shadows of oarstrokes never
To strike the horizon which ever smiled the same
Sad smile of the hand that believes it can calculate
Distance in clear intervening space. Pacifist isle
That invented the very idea of geometry—
—the first diagram whose angles haven’t yet
Disentangled violence from sight. Flowering stone.
Fluorescent time.
Take this sea to be equal parts
Wedding march and funeral dirge. On days like this
It can feel as if the island vain in its entirety
Has ripped free in a storm of its moorings—
A postage stamp cut from its envelope to
Commemorate the astral transit from subatomic
Particle to the vast millimetres of microplastic
Oceans. Nothing for it but to drift like an
Anchor planted ceremoniously inland—and yet
What choice in the land where equations
Governing fluids are more fundamental than
Quantum mechanics. When the most critical rate
Limiting factors are the speed and silence at which
you can slip through water—ave maris—.

Must I make the same errors of modern legend—as
Crane took Copernicus to say—simply by sailing
in a new direction you could enlarge the world
.
As though official buildings reserved the right to be
Shot towers from which lead is cast into and
Becomes the abyss. The sun sank its bridge and
Came straight back—the stars lean closer to see
Watershed waterlevels that are enough to set
Driftwood alight. The pain that was my wrists
Deep in Antarctic ice I thought the glass stem
Of gorse rigged into burning twine. And even just
Unfurling my palm—to lay flat my second nature’s
Fist—for five minutes has become a stretch.
You wouldn’t believe what controlling umbrellas
In the wind has done for my strength. In ice floes
Of traffic—my car of the future fitted with a snorkel
Staring up the threads of rain like gun barrels.
All of us in the ocean’s wake pining for the most
Alienating path home as though every lighthouse
A monument to who you were
not there for.

Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

A Wound Has No Direction

A flock of dark birds through the trees
emerge at the other side
of where you were.
It’s far back when
you first broke me in.
It’s impossible to
remember it all,

though that was what I’d wanted then,
or so you’d told me. Better off dead
sonorous phrase, a wave in my inner ear,
which will not wane even as it enervates.
The weathervane, or weather-cock,
creaks as it goes round, round
in the wind.

Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

After

And yet there are new shoots growing
from the bamboo in the spring sunshine
and the cat is warming himself on the pavers.

The violets are ankle-deep and three snails
have left their silver trails across the path where
they exited the denseness to get to where they were

going. The neighbour’s traps in the back lane
have caught nothing; last month I opened the gate
so a rat could scurry out while the cats watched,

bewildered. A man writes a woman in ecstasy
or terror
and I fling the paper across the room
because he doesn’t know or care either way.

Every place we look a man traverses a country
littered with bodies. I want to plant signs that say
here was April, here was May, here was June

They use the passive and try to erase us. A voice
breaks the silence but they tell us we are all
human, we are flawed, we cannot do anything.
No one

is asking for perfection—just courage. We’ve lit
the fire. Come out of the cave. Listen: believe those
of us who have survived. We have nothing left to lose.

Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

Within Two Dreams Distance

That little bird looks just like me!

For him,
The horizons solicit him for his nest
So, he grants, dashing in his recklessness
Forgetting to take his heart
As sustenance for the long journey

As for me,
I initiate seasons with hopes
And travel tickets
Then, I return,
Overwhelmed with crying and defeat

As for him,
He trusts only in his wings when the
cloudlessness deceives him
And the calmness conspires

As for me,
When the hurricanes take me by surprise
The heavens rescue me
With the light of wisdom and clear-sightedness

Him and I are tired, hungry,
Lonely, and frightened.
The winter is just within two dreams distance

Yet, both of us are terribly wet
With grief
And rain.

Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

Notes From a Sugar-Curled Messenger

Iris tells me about being a teenager
in apartheid South Africa, 1970;
she feeds me chicken curry and rice
(my first home-cooked meal since arriving in Cape Town),
and her fingers are playing with a tea towel as she talks,
story lines creasing and smoothing,
once-starched, now soft.

The Catholic school she went to broke the law –
taking in students of any colour,
many of the teachers themselves activists
and the science laboratories used for making bombs;
gun powdered fingertips,
soon to clench and form the fists that would be raised
in homes, in streets, in defiance.

And on weekends
the girls would curl their hair and set it with sugar water,
the ringlets stiff and sweet;
and in them would be tucked tiny scraps of paper
carrying tightly-wound messages –
the honey in their beehives –
to be delivered to prisoners on Robben Island
(under the guise of visiting with the priest).

She tells me about the policemen lining them up;
her and all the other coloured children on the street,
the officers whipping the backs of their legs
until they turned the colour of shame,
hot like the beans and chilli her mother would make.
Still, nothing compared to the torture of her older brother,
who remained a political prisoner for ten years
and emerged with a nightfall in his eyes that never turned to dawn.

Suddenly, she is tired.
‘Ah, sweetie-pie’ she says, ‘It’s all history now’.
But as she packs away the dishes
I wind some of my hair in a tight knot around my finger,
until the tip becomes numb and my hair forms a perfect ringlet.
And I tuck our conversation away,
like a sugar-curled message,
because I know history has a habit of repeating itself.

Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

Fitting

They said the shoes
don’t fit—
my shoes, too small
for their feet
a size or two too big
I should have
stretched them out
as far as my last pay
could go. Held off
until they could taste salt
only salt for dinner
or better yet, cry
until my tears could coax
their eyes to flow.
Had I suffered
enough, I might have
softened even a boot
and they’d put their feet in
and it would be
a better fit.

Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

Those days in the dirt

The sound of a power saw soothes me
It reminds me of home
Of my father’s toughness
His rough protective carpenters’ hands
Those firsts that I knew had been moulded by the jaws of skinheads in the seventies
The safety we felt when he was snoring in the room next door
It reminds me of the long hours working in the blazing Australian sun
Of the travelling
Of coming home broke to save again
Of the sweat
The mud
Of lost loves
And tear-filled WhatsApp phone calls in the car before work
Long distance love
Goodnight and good morning texts as I reached for the barrow
Girls I fucked on benders an hour before digging post holes
My twenties evaporating among concrete slabs and pine frames
Of raspberry lollies in the glovebox
And Bobby secretly handing me Viagra’s on Friday mornings
Of Eddie and AJ
And walking in the rain from Mordialloc station heartbroken
Writing letters to her parents
And Reading books on the train
Listening to red sails in the sunset as I sped home
Sam and I sleeping on the roof in Bourke St
Simmo sitting next to me while my leg pissed blood
The shitty jobs spent dreaming of being able to use my brain for money
It reminds me of transient friendships
Beautiful people I once knew
Bricklayers
Plasterers
Iranians
Turks
Afghanis
Louie and Joe smoking cigarettes and clumsily jiving to
Chuck Berry
Good men with good hearts
Working like dogs to send money home for their families
It reminds me of alcoholics and banter
Of drifters with prison tats and bowie knives in their backpacks
And apprentices with eighty thousand-dollar Hilux’s
They will never repay
Of classic hits on the radio
PBS blaring in the cabin
And of the word ‘cunt’
Thrown around so casually I forgot how ugly it was
Sometimes when I walk past a building site
I smile at the memories of my youth
The honesty of the work we did
Its simplicity
And I respect the harshness of these environments I grew up working in
Tough men
Pirates
Jailbirds
Craftsmen
When I hear the sound of a power saw at 7am
Howling over the sleepy suburban rooftops
Interrupting hundreds of Vegemite breakfasts and weather reports
I roll over and imagine the smell of the saw dust
And of the wooden off cuts gathering on the floor
The measurements scribbled all over the plaster
And the lists of the day’s jobs
Conversations that begin with ascertaining football loyalties
And the endless shit talking
I miss those days
I miss the gruffness of the men
The hard exteriors that protected gentle loving souls
Their intrigue as we strolled onto site booming Indian chants
on the pocket speakers
I miss the comradery of hard manual work
The afternoons I spent counting the hours down on my fake omega watch
I miss the heat in those portaloos
And watching the dirt slowly circle round the drain as it oozed out of my hair in the afternoons
The moments with Matt in the truck
Speeding Gonzo style down beach road listening to Desmond Decker
Two Don Quixote’s high on audacity
Glimpses of something greater
Moments of true serenity
True oneness
I miss the swims at lunch
And the freezing winter mornings where you couldn’t feel your fingers until 9am
Cursing yourself for not getting an easier fucking job
Mostly I miss the romance of it all
The sound of a power saw reminds me that there is a beauty to harshness in life
And a kind of grace among those who’s’ edges seem rough
It reminds me to be grateful for moments as they unfold
And to appreciate the friends we meet in strange places along the journey

Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

sweet new-season duds

writs in warrants out. same again. you understand our position by moving your finger in
front of your eyes. you want to be at your desk by 9. you want to put on the bumper sticker
when the dealership’s a mate. & be no regular visitor to these basement rooms,
soundproofed for reflection and questioning

cool grassroots grow through the trashed mandarins on our hearts squat zealous
inspectors that buffeting sound their statistical flubs or they’re bootstrapping
the fledgling human forest to achieve extra liquid stars hum stars die
oh star of silence inextinguishable star oh winter run a bath

give the brain a helping hand give abandon a dreaming arch
in relation to operational matters you move like a cloud between us
& don’t rain

Posted in 93: PEACH | Tagged

Letter to Blair from Home

Brother, when the raven came for me
last night in its black cassock, when my breath
was sweetened with dreaming, I heard you
call to me in that bell-clear treble, Roy,
Roy, and knew there would be no peace, as if
we were still boys swinging in hammocks
against a withering sunset. I reached out
a hand to your voice, hoping to be held & steadied
against the bitter losses, but was stung by the keen
edge of an absence. Forty years since we
laid you down to sleep with the poppies, each
year governed by a distinct shoreline
that the waves’ pale wings, unfolding, have failed
to erase. But the failing is ours, too. It’s what
the living do best. Last Friday, madness tore
like teeth into this country’s history as bullets rained
and erased the warmth of 51 faces all lit with hope
and faith. Why are the prayers of the hopeful
always answered with violence? The media hurried
to explain the blood away—racial tension / unchecked
immigration / mental unsoundness
—but
the blood clung to the prayer mats like a sun
that refuses to set. Brother, I know you’d say to this
with that familiar ironic smile, Nothing will ever truly
wash the dark stain off men’s hearts
, as surely you’d go on
labouring in the streets of Southall, your body
an arrow through every injustice. Here in Napier
all I have is a circle of white pines to sit amongst
as the last light winds down to a wine-dark
bruise over the horizon. When the wind rises
the sand veils the air, each grain etched
with the echo of your name.

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