Stereocilia for 2 Ears of 1 Person 


Edited from acoustic recordings of spontaneous otoacoustic emission, clusters of simultaneously emitted tones tones from both ears of a single person.

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Untitled


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Twin Murmurings



The twins, Beatrix and Vyvyan, were born 29 October, 2017, and this recording was made two weeks later on 13 November, 2017.

I set up a Rode NT4 stereo microphone between them as they lay head to head in a shared cot. Both babies had the hiccoughs, having just been fed. Their breaths were short and sharp, and not quite regular or in sync. They were like little machines spluttering into life. This period of time is a bit of a blur, and listening back doesn’t do that much to bring it into focus. It does make me proud that we kept them alive though. It’s now just over a year later and Beatrix and Vyvyan are just beginning to talk.

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Consonata


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Birds of New York

This Birds of New York series (2015) focuses on the sonic aspect of the Cornell Lab’s Merlin app, an app that uses citizen-science bird observations. This easy access to the sounds of the birds is one of the key developments of portable technology enabling users to identify the birds by sound as much as by sight. There is, however, a stress in all bird watching communities of not playing recorded bird song in the field because it can be so disruptive. With this conundrum in mind these texts suggest an awkward solution: by using the phonetic words identified for bird calls from a traditional bird field guide applied to the songs and calls on the app, the lengths of poetic text are printed as four impractical A1 sized works on paper intended as a speculative and unwieldy writerly support for the app.


‘Birds of New York – American Redstart’
Digital print on paper 841x 594mm
Call recorded by: Arthur A Allen, Peter Paul Kellogg
Location: New York, United States, May 1952
Recording sourced from Cornell Lab of Ornithology’s Merlin app (2014)
Transcription made using Jonathan Alderfer’s Field Guide to Birds of New York, National Geographic (2006)

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Unworded sound poem


Drawing for unworded onscreen sound poem, 2018 | paper, graphite, ink | 29.7 x 42cm



Undoing the traditional hierarchies of sound producer (voice) and recorder (device) – similarly writer / reader, performer / listener – this parenthetical poem composed of sounds we might call noise or hum is a stuttering assemblage in the digital register. It moves attention to the listening body. Loss, eruption and interference become structural elements in a material poetics of transmission.

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Plane / Talea #39


For Plane / Talea, I have been using tiny fragments of voices. Many people have donated theirs anonymously. I do not process them; each sound starts and ends with the beginning and end of each utterance. What I do, and what the Plane / Talea system does, is just recomposing, recombining. Each one of these tiny sparks of voice has its own identity, its unique imperfections. I like to think of it as a living being. Now think about if every utterance leaving your mouth would become an autonomous being leading its own existence apart from you. 

What is somehow special regarding Plane / Talea #39 is that several of these utterances carry some spacial information in them, as if the space where they have been recorded has collapsed towards the inside of the sound. This is unusual in the Plane / Talea series as most of the instalments are abstracted from space and location. In this case, as you will hear in the first section, each of the SA phonemes carries in itself a reflection of the room and space like a sphere reflecting surroundings in fish eye mode. In a way, this is the dream of an impossible choir or, in other words, the dream of a community of voices that does not yet exist.

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Suburban murmurs / A quiet word

we slip on the words that have fallen
quiet words
are you coming home?

eaten by dust mites
caught in hairs around the sink
tap dripping words
I don’t know how to change a washer

his fingers fat pencil stubs
nails ridged like corrugated Perspex
these are not words that want
to be shouted
what did I do wrong?

they stick to teeth and
hurt to chew on
best swallowed with a stiff something
words that tap on the window
at night
do you feel safe alone in there?

sleep with lights on
sleep with eyes open
sleep with mouth closed
doesn’t matter they keep slipping out

who will look after us
when we are old

words you are ashamed of
the quiet words you want
to go unnoticed
talk instead about things
shiny things

I deserve a new toaster
these stilettos are on special
honey blonde suits my face

in the mean time
the quiet words wait
one day they fall from your mouth unexpected
tumble like baby teeth
and it won’t hurt
as much as you think

Posted in 89: DOMESTIC | Tagged

My Dad and I Are Discussing His Olympic Career

My Dad and I are discussing his Olympic career and I am trying to remember which sport he entered. “None of them,” he says, “but let’s go with hurling.”

“Is hurling even an Olympic sport?” I ask.

“Of course,” he replies. “But only at the Dublin Olympics.”

“Dublin?” I say.

“There we were, charging down the field, screaming like we were going out to war, but I can’t remember much of the game, if we won or lost, if I kicked a goal or just spent all four quarters on the bench.”

“How do you mean?” I ask.

Dad shakes his head and runs at an angle. “Did you see the moon rise this morning?”

“No,” I say. “Weren’t you asleep?”

“Always,” he says. “I think maybe always, but I was outside and standing with the grass. There was a lot of grass and I’m sure the moon rose.”

“The grass,” I ask him. “Did the grass remind you of the game?”

“Don’t reckon,” he says. “There wasn’t that much grass.”

We fiddle with our mugs. The tea is getting cold.

“Well, what was it like standing on the podium?” I ask.

“Ah,” he says.

“And what was it like in the Olympic Village?”

“Oh,” he says, putting his mug on the table.

“Did you have much of a reception when you got home, like were you a hero or whatever?”

“Well,” he says. And then my Dad gives me the absolutely saddest smile and then he shuffles off into his room and seems to lock the door behind him.

“Dad,” I call after him, “did you play other sports when you were a kid, like cricket or footy?”

He doesn’t answer.

I get up from my chair, run over and rattle the handle. “Did you play them at school?” I yell. “What was it like when you when to school?”

There is no response.

Now I am banging at the bedroom door. “What about Mum? Dad, can you tell me how it was you met Mum?”

But there is only silence swelling in the house and even though I roar and cry and hammer at the door’s face, there is nothing I can do to break through.

Posted in 89: DOMESTIC | Tagged

the feeling of going home

the feeling of going home
brings a smile to my
cracked and sore lips

the quiet terminal
the whirring
coffee machine
in the background

waiting for
the arms
of my mother
to engulf
my frame

her warmth
laugh lines
worry lines
fade when
our eyes meet

the winter sun
thawing my
bones
frozen solid
from stony city
gazes unflinching

the years
of sacrifice
to stay home
with two children

she can
make a meal
out of thin air
with the
coins scattered
on our worn
scuffed table

protecting us
fed us
cleaned
back-breaking
work
to raise two
humans

with
black skin

to teach us
comfort us
when we
realised
the heavy
weight of what
our skin meant

all this I
thought as I
watched her
drip honey
into my tea

all this I
thought as I
saw her tears

all this I thought
when she reminded
me to be proud

her hands holding mine
soft and calloused
like shes handing
something to me

I will unfurl
my hand
when I am
to return to
the cold
when I feel
alone

all this I thought
as I stood at the terminal
back to the
towering lights
of the city
for my
domestic flight.


Posted in 89: DOMESTIC | Tagged

The Dent

There was a dent in the wall in the living room.

About half way up the wall in the middle of the new cream satin wallpaper.

It is said that John had run into the wall. That they’d been fooling around while wrestling when he’d jumped up and hit his head hard against the wall. Maybe he’d been playing with the ball inside again and he’d thrown it a bit too hard. The kind of thing that twelve year olds do.

Dad would be angry.

Dad would be angry anyway, when tomorrow he sobers up and sees the dent in the wallpaper.

He’s going to blame John.

Blame John for the dent in the wall that John obviously made when he had been out drinking too much and then came home and drank some more and then got angry when there wasn’t silence while he was watching the news.

A dent only takes a second to make. The whack in the wall that sounds like an egg, thwacking in its shell against something hard. Only the egg doesn’t break but the inside turns to mush. It melts inside. Silence is imposed through ringing in the ears and a sober hangover.

A dent in the wall lasts a long time unmended. Sitting as a trophy that visitors will see, that John will see years later when he leaves home. It is a reminder of being a child and how it should never coincide with the 6 o’clock news.

Posted in 89: DOMESTIC | Tagged

The Melanin Monologue

||How do you tell your teenage self to stop drinking those bottles of bleach?||

The lacerations left behind by Dove’s latest racist ad campaign
Slices its way through layers of caramel and chocolate skin.
And apologies may be made,
We did not endeavour hate
But this nation knows all too well of e m p t y apologies to
People of Colour.
‘The diversity of real beauty is core to our beliefs’
But this core is only skin deep
This core is the rotten apples laced with poisoned tongues
Words washed away with the same soap used to
Scrub away at our skin.

Have you heard of ‘Nulla Nulla’ soap
It was ‘Australia’s white hope’
Soap scrubbed the black from this nation’s skin
Through ethnic cleansing we’ve killed our kin.
The white dove sneers at us as though we’re pigeons
Claims ‘This is diversity’
When all we feel is adversity
Dove’s corporate cousin Fair and lovely
Stocks supermarket shelves across the globe.

There is nothing fair in genocide nothing fair in the racial barometer that determines
who is worthy and who is not nothing fair in claims to crack through coconut husk skin to
ooze the white that lies inside nothing fair in the hands that tan in the sun squeezing the
bottles of bleach upon our skin.

Sun kissed s e a s of the Philippines
Cascade every colour under the sun
Yet every billboard on every road
Lacks the magandang morena girl
So I ask you

What the Beckery is this shit?
How are we so complacent to this?
Leaving the white prints on our face
From those who tried to slap us into place
This skin is not mud splashed on our faces
From the stomping feet of the conquistador
This skin is not yours to fetishise
This skin is not yours to demoralise
We will decolonise and moisturise

This Skin Does Not Come Off

And I am tired of always being a dark cascade to a sea of twinkling white stars.

But there’s no market for your type your face and words are all the same
I’m sure we did all we could do to try and acknowledge you

Yet somehow,
When Rihanna released 40 shades in her foundation collection
New faces entered Sephora’s reflections
Hoping to get a better inspection
Of colours that matched to our complexion
After years of beauty counter retrospection
Scanning colour palettes with circumspection
Hand and product made no connection
Hearts pumped blood laced with dejection
Of an entire industry’s outright rejection
Of us

It feels like colour correction
When you are shade twenty-one
Instead of the only one
Who wriggles their way
Into whatever shade of tan they have available that day.
It feels like antiseptic for the lacerations that seek to drain
The melanin from our skin.

It feels like hands r e a c h i n g out to teenage girls
Pulling the white masks off of their faces
And crying,

My darling,
You are magandang morena,
A beautiful brown skinned girl
You need not drink
Those bottles of bleach
Anymore.

Posted in 89: DOMESTIC | Tagged

Minor domestic emergencies

on condition of anonymity the glass breaks its silence. little shards all over my dual national allegiances while wondering what to wear for Albo’s disco. fast cooking and oven fat catches a flare of my self-doubt and burns the afternoon’s silent recriminations. the walls have inched in like inhaled ribs while we wait for another byelection citizen saga but it is a chance to meet and greet a finely opposing minister whilst engaging in cultural necessities such as bidding for misogyny speech tea towels. the canapes are delicious by the way. and the wine is a speech away from fresh highway upgrading while the famous DJ looks for a knob on the deck to turn down the background fuzz. so many hi hugs synchronised air kissing and oh there’s Justine. Tony is in town too. carrots not onions this time. all tastes catered for. posters. pop up party palaces. theories attaching social cellular strobe lit junkets to diffused spin and high hopefuls. the climate is a vacillating political compass point. hands in pockets to counter the corporate advertising splurge of those who dare to challenge; he whose face has shone marrow-like in cascades of comic con. this area is full of pumpkins and glass houses. this soil rejects pink eye potatoes but tolerates tall poppies and their beguiling opiate contradictions. we have tin in our bowels, a seam of tough extracted minerals, a stream of door-knocking volunteers well- seasoned to the quick getaway. there is an aggregated churn in the loam. there is a hint of dissention in the state led ranks as we lurch into federally funded devil in the small print deciphering the treachery in minor revolutions. seven more weeks of blitz burgers. Albo has us dancing to flame trees as we stand by her and the room is a cup half full of pinot grigio. there is such reassurance in the sound waves of spun soul. the drive home is a scattering of domestic possums out for a free feed avoiding truck wheels. red-eyed when caught in the headlights. I wish I’d had three hundred bucks for that signed misogyny speech tea towel. oh, the irony in the washing up.

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Inhale

poisoned bladder
ash tray
stopped clock
dead air

a screen door
is smacking a
metal frame,
sounding
a death rattle

a screen door
is smacking a
metal frame,
sounding
a death rattle

a screen door
is smacking a
mental frame,
sounding
a death rattle

street lights
parked cars
hills hoist
dead night

a broken
kitchen tap,
drips its water
hitting
a steel basin

freeze frame
still image
flash broken
red eye

a woman is
smoking;
her lips kiss
the butt
she sucks in
deep
breathes out long

sucks in deep
breathes out long
her lips
kiss the butt
she sucks in deep
breathes out
long

Posted in 89: DOMESTIC | Tagged

To Sana Solia the Sand Princess

you bubbled as the salt crept into freshwater lenses,
wind wrenching the iron roof
wailing, gurgling storms
drowning
grief

grain
by
grain

oceanic breath
breaking over the shore
whispering inhaling exhaling us.
it echoes the name of the old princess
as it erases the prehistory of the archipelago;
it swallows us, leaving a smear of sand
at the mouth of the coastal atolls
washing away the evidence
of monsoons, mushroom clouds, dances, Micronesia

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Supermarket

Painful fluorescent light is the first thing you realise
It numbs the noise for a second or so
Then that arrives too
Rushes into your ears
Disturbs the depths of your soul

You wish she would stop staring
But she is everywhere
In all the windows
In all that gloss and shine and noise
A lie of perfection, she fits into this place of deceit

Trolleys whirl, an appendage of the people
Filled with not needed things
A child screams
Maybe they see it too
Luckily children only disturb their parents

Mass purchases of drones shape the economy
With more noise
More purchases of water in plastic
I think I saw bananas wrapped in plastic
Maybe they were the ones being thrown out

Don’t be dramatic, this place is not a warzone
Just the cascade of convenient consumption
But that diamond sparkles with the memory of someone who died for it
And the red of that bargain shirt is coloured
by the child’s blood that seeped secretly into it

And below us the earth quickly burns.

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Freeman of the Embassy

Has anyone heard of Jimmy Clements?
I did as I drank coffee from a chipped mug
Aunty sitting in a broken office chair
Her feet splayed on the dusty ground
The fire is low but the heat
Mirrors the fervour in her eyes.

In the parliamentary triangle
A fire burns
Hegemonic history says since 1972
But I heard another tale
And I watched as the proof
was scattered, charred and lost.

Burnt, crumpled photos
and yellowing newspapers
swept away in the same
inexorable wind
that tried to scatter the people
but could not.

Has anyone heard of Jimmy Clements?
I did as I gathered twigs for the fire
Surrounded by tributaries
Of concrete and metal
An ancient undertaking
In a modern world.

In 1927 parliament house was opened
The duke and duchess of York attended
Their finery and pomp
A cavalcade of wealth
Met a barefoot man
And his loyal dogs.

Has anyone heard of Jimmy Clements?
The Duke did when he met him
Acknowledging Jimmy’s sovereignty
Of the stolen land they stood upon
A sideshow to the ceremony
But no less weighty for all that.

Posted in 89: DOMESTIC | Tagged

Domestic Violence

the vicious cycle
perpetrator to victim
victim to perpetrator
normality
an abomination
one woman a week dies
spitting words like daggers
intentions
malicious
designed strategically to inflict pain

It looks like
obsessive love
an intense man
volcanic
in eruptions of
love and hate
a thousand repeated threats
abandonment
worthlessness
a thousand repeated I’m sorry
unconditional forgiveness
issues of dependency

I am educating
young people
topic discussion
major issues of society
caution
sensitive
only one girl
knows
the real-life issues
Hozier’s video of Cherry Wine
strikes a puncture of realisation
resulting in a
mirror reflection

Posted in 89: DOMESTIC | Tagged

Rites of Passage

You are a piece of shattered peace, a maelstrom
scattering the fragments of your childhood
wildly on the wind.
And now
you’ve claimed your adolescence like a rainwash,
sweeping both of us down slopes of saneness
‘til rock-bottom seems a target
that we’re never going to reach.

But this isn’t really about puberty,
your ripening,
those hormones brooding you in moodiness
and thunderbolts
and bite.
Nor birthing,
the queerness of my belly’s sudden emptiness,
the way my foreign body
so readily transfigured
whimpers into milk.

This is about
your first external storm,
the one that howled a tantrum
through gnashing gums outside.
You clung to me, my umbilicus. I thrilled to hear
your breath grizzling my ear, your head nestled
tight in that concavity
where shoulder meets the neck,
a niche so vulnerable
that it doesn’t have a name.

And this is about
your first steps,
when you were in such a rush
to be everywhere at once
that you weaned your neediness with bruises
and broken bones:
it scared me that everyone would think
I’d battered you,
as you proudly itemised your battle blemishes,
the mnemonics you’ll always list upon your skin.

This is about wanting to push fast-forward:
to confirm that all those yesterdays
of I don’t know,
and later on,
and maybe, maybe, maybe,
and close the bloody door,
will form a healthy scab; that we’ll both recall
the delicate cord we used to share, the melody
of syncopated hearts,
the effort of letting go;
that one day you’ll be content to carry
a little bit of me around with you.

And I will touch that precious hollow
that doesn’t have a name
and remember how it feels
to hold someone you love
when the world roars.

Posted in 89: DOMESTIC | Tagged

Household Accounting

isn’t like departmental budgeting
at all.
No amount of funding pie-chart
will turn the lights back on
if you don’t have the five-digit password
to the email account
where the bills are. There is very little
put aside for guns. Coffee
cannot be bought in bulk, in barrel
drums like bombs,
without a business number or official
credit card. When someone dies
everything in their name
stops.
Per capita per annums readjust but
they don’t tell you where
the rent money came from, or even
how much it was. Not the wi-fi
or Netflix passwords, not the code
for the safe. Nothing
can re-fill the quota, the profitability,
the efficiency matrix—
the space in the garage, the cup
of tea gone cold on the counter, the heart
half empty.

Posted in 89: DOMESTIC | Tagged

patterns of abuse

Source texts: Sheridan, D.J. and Nash, K.R., 2007, ‘Acute Injury Patterns of Intimate Partner Violence Victims’, Trauma Violence Abuse, vol.8, pp.281–289, and Simplicity pattern 9219, 1970.

Posted in 89: DOMESTIC | Tagged

Waking in the Blue

Addressed to Robert Lowell

The night attendant at the service station, garishly lit
when I had thought the world extinguished,
pumps $10 of fuel into our tank.
My plastic moneybox looks childish in the car’s backseat,
but the silver coins that spill from its plughole
perform an unexpected magic.
My mother has nothing, and I see how much it matters.
She parks the Toyota on the side of the highway beneath some gums,
their white trunks streaked by the comets of passing cars.
My sister and I have my favourite blanket, gilded with synthetic stars.
At break of day we enter the police station in our dressing gowns.
Two faceless men escort us home
where gravity has finally pulled everything down.
On the carpet are light fittings; the vacant box of the TV;
the roots of plants forced from hiding;
drawers and their contents (folded maps, loosened photographs);
volumes of an encyclopaedia, their hardbacks torn off.
A more comprehensive list is not necessary.
In truth, my room is not as damaged as I want it to be.
My sister’s has been carefully destroyed.

My father is discovered in his bed, eccentric and confused
as one of your old-timers.
But the police know to stay, while my mother picks through the debris
for a bankbook and some clothes, and then
the men in blue lead us away.
There is a brick house with bars on every window.
A room stuffed with bunks and a cumbersome wardrobe.
At the kitchen table, women stub ashen cigarette after cigarette
into a tin ashtray, battered as the moon,
playing show-and-tell with scars, picking over the ruins.
My sister has faith in another miracle of creation.
But I am a child, not a visionary, and I see our mother
has already surrendered to the diabolical romance of return.
My father, cleanly shaven, stands at the door.
Inside, the furious pull of the earth has gentled again,
allowing the furniture—what was left of it—to right itself.
The place looks enough like our home
and our father’s naked face enough like contrition.
We restore our toothbrushes to the bathroom shelf
where our father’s glistening razor sits.

Posted in 89: DOMESTIC | Tagged

Blood In The Kija Sand

If you were still alive today
And I could sit and talk with you
What would you tell me Great Nan?
Would you reveal something new?
There’s not much we know about you
Just that of your violent death
Was there blood in the Kija Sand?
As you took your dying breath
We would love to learn your story
To find out who you were
Not just “Maggie Full Blood”
As it was written, without a care
But day after day we hunger
And year after year we look
And search through worn out pages
And in every historical book
But if I could just sit and talk with you
Just a little, little while
Would you tell me your broken story?
And would I be angry and wild
I know some hearts would be mended
We have cried for so very long
To hear of your Kija story
The Country to which you belong
There’s blood in the Kija sand
It trickles through every grain
It’s the heart cry of our fallen
To a ghostly white skinned stain
It is a permanent reminder
Of a past full of blood and heat
And it is there as proof to all
That history should never repeat

Posted in 89: DOMESTIC | Tagged

You Left

I can’t pretend I can’t sleep
to get up and interrupt you
anymore
You’re not on the walls
or in the bathroom drawer
You don’t pour
milk into my mug
Dad does
(he adds extra Quik)
but he can’t
ponytail my hair
or boil breakfast eggs
You’re not cutting
carrots into sticks
or standing
like a thumb
in the mix
of other mothers
at the school gate
You left
empty shelves
where your books used to be
I don’t hear the kettle
boiling for your tea
I don’t hear you
singing at the sink
pink lips and rubber gloves
I can’t dip my fingers
in the suds
I can’t see
your curly words
on permission
slips
or on lunchbox lovenotes
underneath my ham and cheese
You don’t put
your hands
on your hips
You took your dresses
and
you left us
in boxes
Your voice
is on the end
of the phone
When you come home
you kiss me with
chewing-gum breath
leave
a lipstick print
on my cheek
And then you leave
I can still smell your perfume neck

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