Cicadas

Spring unrolled skies like runners of pink muslin, breezes
steeped in honeycomb. Set out flowers in pastry

blues and glacé reds; summer simmered at the season’s
edge, began to smoke. That’s when I found their shells

everywhere — like pods of blown sugar, trimmed
to the trunks of bloodwoods, blue gums.

*

Yolk light streaked tower windows. Down Dixon Street,
the grills hissed, spitting oil. Plane trees offered their leaves
to the pavement in helpings of ginger and oxblood. I watched

strangers champ down fists of minced squid, or tighten
the nooses of their scarves, as lanterns swung
like pomelos from the eaves of tea rooms, and the dusk

slung up its meathook moon. This was Chinatown
on a Friday night — the markets packed. The scent of burning sugar
lured me from my mother to a stall where toffee

oozed in an iron pot. A woman was rolling
a knot of it to a worm. She jutted one end in her mouth
and blew; and as the sugar ballooned, she began

pinching and pulling it, shaping wings, a square
jaw, a long torso coiling round itself — all the while
filling it with her breath as if creation were a kind of

mouth to mouth — then she took the end from her lips
and tweaked it shut. Deft as a doctor’s
stitch she embedded a skewer, tilted the dragon

towards light so it shimmered, copper-bronze.
I watched as she made a horse, a rat — my tongue watering,
even though I knew they were not for eating.

*

Now rummaging at weeds on my knees
in the veggie beds, my fingers scrape the crisp
toffee abdomens of cicada shells. I press aside
drooping leaves of eggplants — the fat fruits,

black as hearses, nodding, glinting offhandedly.
I pull oxalis, dandelion from their roots. Throw
the first in a pile for the worms, heap
the latter by my knee for later:

*

Stir eggs and dill, diced shallots, grated feta and kefalograviera
until combined. Add a dash of olive oil, salt. Fold-in diced
chard and the wild greens you pulled from the hedgerow, the side
of the road — like the peasant grandmother who lived through famine
and three wars, raised twenty children, and knew that everywhere

the earth makes offerings of nourishment. Line your cooking tin
with pastry thin and pale as a cotton shroud. Anoint with olive oil. Now
spoon the mixture evenly across your tray and cover with more pastry.
Puncture the top with a fork or skewer — so steam — like the soul
through the mouth at death — can escape. Cook till golden.

*

For weeks, the air throbbed with their love songs, their
jackhammer dirges, as they bred and died, became banquet
for lizard and bird. I’ve imagined that moment of revelation:
seventeen years tucked in the dirt, sucking root sap, then —

the sudden insistent urge to burrow up and out… Exposed
to light and the swiftness of air for the first time, the old self
ruptures, peeling back — wings unfurl, silent
gossamer. Sometimes I find one, the shell

not entirely sloughed, the crisp, veined wings only
partly unfolded. My eyes track the conveyor belts
of ants: they till the corpse, ferry
morsels to the nest.

*

I ready the ground for sowing. Swing the mattock round again,
tear up another sod. A butcherbird probes the edges of opened

earth and plucks up worms purple-red as sopressa. Skinks

tongue crickets by the irrigation runnels. A kookaburra drops
from the shed then wings north — a marsh snake thrashing

in its beak. Above rotted orange peels, celery tufts, the skins

of pumpkins heaped on the compost — fruit flies hover like tossed
confetti. Westering now, the sun spills her brandy down

the hills; mosquitoes bore for my veins’s hard liquor.

Posted in GUNCOTTON | Tagged

Tell Me Like You Mean It 5


Image by Thanh Tú

This volume of Tell Me Like You Mean It marks its fifth year. Whenever a half-decade mark is reached, I do feel the impulse to reflect on the past. In 2017, Tell Me Like You Mean It was edited by Melody Paloma and Mikaila Hanman Siegersma. From 2018–2019, Melody edited alone until 2020, when Susie Anderson took the reins. This year, in 2021, I have been trusted with the series. It seems significant to note that both Susie and I were published in volume 2, the necessary connection there.

The poem I wrote for Tell Me Like You Mean It in 2018 was my second publication. I was 20, struggling to finish university, and hiding from my friends. I was grateful for the opportunity to contribute to the volume. When Melody approached me, I was just beginning to centre my life around poetry – I wanted to write it, write about it, read it, discuss it, teach it. At 20, that was my dream. I thought that would always be my life. Now, I am a university graduate, I am learning to hide less, and I am struggling to reconcile with the idea of a career in poetry. I would not say I am a poet anymore. Writing poetry, now, is an afterthought. I would say this is not a bad thing. In fact, I would say it is a very good thing for me to leave my ambitions in the anxious place.

Still, I am invested in the poets writing on this continent. Every year while reading the series, I feel grateful to recognise the names of my peers. I am grateful now, to have been trusted to curate and edit this volume.

I don’t want to say anything grand about the poets featured here. I don’t believe that grandeur needs to be showered at their feet to emphasise their value. The poets in this issue may very well be ushering in an unprecedented era of poetry. They are certainly capable. This is not what makes their work valuable.

Luke Patterson: Double Brick Dream

Munira Tabassum Ahmed: Somewhere Different

Taonga Sendama: Halitosis

Eric Jiang: Gilly G

Wen-Juenn Lee: for sylvie & the moonee ponds creek

Anneliz Erese: for desire

Donnalyn Xu: out of solace

Janiru Liyanage: No one can love the world except God

Brieanna Collard: Mother

Hasib Hourani: sealed tight for safety

Brian Obiri-Asare: scattered in colour

Christy Tan: the infinity of the other

Coco Huang: Five sketches in ink

Leila Doneo Baptist: Dictation Poem One: Profanity Filter

Adalya Nash Hussein: money for two (I’m in the one percent)

Hassan Kalam Abul: Signed, Ready for Duty in Reservoir

Vidya Rajan: Knock knock, who’s there? Your mum

Victor Chrisnaa Senthinathan: Spiders

Kartanya Maynard: Tree

Hannah Wu: Impressions


The series is curated without theme, but many poets wrote back to me to ask for a prompt. I thought of Kaveh Akbar’s interview in The Adroit Journal, when he said, ‘Even if it’s a poem about a very dark thing, there’s still delight in language to be offered.’ Echoing that ethos, I asked poets to write something that made them joyful. Whether or not the subject matter was difficult, there is still joy to be found in writing the poem, the delight in language to be offered. That is what I searched for. Many of these poems work in the colloquial register – lowercase is prevalent, for example, and is by and large a dominant connective technique between poets who may otherwise have little in common. Still, these poems are rigorously crafted in service of joy. Joy is no casual, uncomplicated thing.

This long into a project, it is worth re-examining the intentions of the project. ‘Tell Me Like You Mean It’ is a directive. For my money, the most moving poems are the ones where I can read their importance to the writer. I do not want to read poems deemed by poets to have ‘literary merit’. I am tired of brilliance without substance or principle. I am tired of cleanness and prestige. I want honest expression, however clumsy. Once again, I am thinking of the political importance of the emotional record. Poetry is about feelings. It is threatening because it connects us to one another when we may otherwise be alienated.

I hope, if nothing else, that the poetry in this volume offers connection to those who may be reading.

I’d like to take this opportunity, now, to thank the designer, Thanh Long, for their generous offering, and the gentleness with which they approached this project and my frantic emails. Thank you. I’d like, also, to thank my dear friend, Tracy Chen, whose precise and unpretentious thinking has informed my intentions towards this volume, and whose steady, supportive presence has seen me through its development. Thank you. And thank you to every poet who said yes. I am very grateful to be among such beautiful company.


Image by Thanh Long

Posted in CHAPBOOKS | Tagged ,

out of solace

we marked June
with sympathy flowers
left on a doorstep.
obnoxiously yellow
& innocent, followed by
the usual surrender

it was not language but its inverse
cradled between us

small words of comfort
scattered like breadcrumbs
fed to lost pigeons
before flight. I’m sorry

I never get the words right
the first time. every day
I workshop a list
of what I love most, or
what is within reach
though they are not always
the same.
some things are easy enough.
the scent of
camphor on a winter morning
under the sun; the sun,
a fine silk glove
draped over my hands.
my initial response to touch,
which is to scrutinise.
how loneliness
diffuses my need
to be alone & even this

is too close. someone
on the internet says
the catharsis of tragedy
is our own suffering
fed back to us, so I replay
old movies in search for a pain
that is familiar. I cut
my hair in the bathroom
with my eyes averted
from the mirror
distracted by the threads
unspooling at my bare feet;
pieces of myself I could discard
or collect. I admit,

it was embarrassing
to want to live so badly. I was
embarrassed. —the petals lifted
to the wind I turned my face away
in silence I had nothing
to say after all, I was the only one
still growing older.

Posted in TMLYMI v5 | Tagged

the infinity of the other

I listen at the shore
of your breathing

you end where
I can not begin &

I begin where
you never end

where do I return to
when I am returning from myself

does my presence
disrupt the past

an occupation of land is
an occupation of language

violence is legislated
in our ways of

seeing
and not being seen

that which is made
invisible in a name

translating the infinite
into this finite

history. leaving us
in the bones of someone else’s empire

you speak of raising awareness
but I speak to raise the dead

the body displaced
dispossessed

with nowhere to haunt
but itself

scratching for that piece
of eternity in your undying mouth

the names we speak back into life
when we return

when we slide under history’s door
see(th)ing through the cracks of this broken language

this un-writing will
not stop where language ends

this un-settling will
never settle

this dispossession will return
to possess you

Posted in TMLYMI v5 | Tagged

Somewhere Different

The river washes over my heart with caution—
like this is the first time it has ever held a body.

Somewhere different, I am born
into the same tension. To hold is to

recognise; my mother has named a hollow child
too many times. The hospital nurse clasps the edges

of the unknown universe / ma doesn’t
wail for her baby, only asks silently that

god quantifies his mercy in her arms.
This becomes the place where I am most safe—

the sky has always been an open witness here.
Tonight, the mid-noon river in the summer rain is

the only thin substitute for her. Last week it was the smooth
sap of the backyard red gum / with all its wanting teeth.

For now, I am invisible in the river’s warmth /
invulnerable in its strange sympathy.

Away from home, I am told that places cannot be
holy and wild at the same time. I disagree

and turn into freshwater.

Posted in TMLYMI v5 | Tagged

Halitosis

I’ve made my peace and slept in it.

I dream myself a dragonfly wine drunk on your bedside table,
wake to find your face paling in the ache —
Linen wretched with longing I grab,
reaching —
(Show me a poem absent of this love)
Starry eyed, slack jawed marionette of grief.
(The amount of dead under my skin outweighs the living)

The evening night a mumbled hymn
and the morning dawn (sheen of grief against your skin) a hoarse rosary under the sequoia —

I dream your breath against my cheek
and in the end,
the poem writes itself.
Adjacent to the sky before it breaks,
the poem writes itself.
Cumulus, cowardice dragging its yellowed belly to the gutter.
(I’m running out of things to yearn for)
(I’ve dreamt you each night)
(Wretched, wretched seltzer under my tongue, heartbroken halitosis)

Godspeed and good riddance.
Godspeed and good riddance.

Posted in TMLYMI v5 | Tagged

knock, knock. who’s there? your mum.

your mother is a shopping cart
in a newly-paved parking lot,
a little apart (see there)
from the other shopping carts.

and behind that cart
is a big old car, and that
is your mother also,
now that she’s older –
a hulking great safari beast,
a 4WD that knows it’s not new.

your mother was new to town, wasn’t she?
once, and on the lookout
for a good hairdresser
who’d treat her early greys with style,
and sensitivity.

remember –
your mother’s not a well.
she doesn’t just dry up.
even though you threw
a bucket at her that time
which was plasticine
and empty (thank god).

hey! ew!
your mum threw up
a small pile of puke
in the front-row seats
at the cineplex,
where your dad chose the movie
(before he declared himself missing).

luke! i am your mother!
declared your mother to herself.
she always hissed at the screen
during credits, and cackled
all the way home.
yeah, look, she’s been acting
real strange lately.

but still,
your mother was a financier.
and you lived in that big fancy house
and she wore the best linen suits
(we all stared)
through all 38 degrees
of her endless fever. remember –
how she’d come back from work
her lips cracked from yelling:
high risk or no reward!
did your mother ever tell you
she rode a bull into town
as a little girl?

yep yep yep
your mother was a little girl
no denying it
who pushed a bigger girl
into bitumen for the fun of it
and the big girl tried to eat her.
but your mother,
she found a way out –
through stomach or through elsewhere.
she was always resourceful.
she was … fighting spirit.
she made a tunnel
to smuggle out all the goods.
yeah that’s your mater on wartime radio!
a voice in the background,
a queen of the playground.

okay hey! look,
your mama wasn’t very nice to my mama
(been trying not to mention this but)
and look, my mama probably started it.
she probably wanted
those dollar-dollar-bills
that your mama kept in her secret vault
for those rainy days so
when the water main burst
through the combination lock
and the house became a splintering boat,
you would still be okay.
we had watched them work

all over her.
one last go
on your ma,
or my ma,
as she was also known.

well, look at that
big balloon go!
a red heart glowing
against a dark sky.
that’s just light pollution,
she would have said,
turning a pink balloon crimson.
don’t let the sight of it carry you away
(you’re so sentimental).
and then your mother
would have laughed
to my mother. the pair
or the two or the whole of them going off,
like a bloody broken record.

Posted in TMLYMI v5 | Tagged

Double Brick Dream

late september sunday afternoon
eucalyptus blossom
roast lamb in the air
I jimmy open the side gate
smothered with heraldic wattle

and passing through the sunlit
thick yellow
mottled in lorikeet and native hue
here comes the fledgling message bringer
sis’ sings

whole-hearted welcomes
niece in arm
swapping bub for apple crumble
she lands a kiss and nips
off for a well-deserved moment

I follow
the chubby-cheeked sovereign’s felicitous
footsteps across the yard path
and the colours of my day
are complete as I eye

defenders
nephews uniformed as proud pirates
constructing humpies from hard-rubbish
our black-yellow-reds flying
an insurgence of love

and before us with us
watching from the garden’s heartland
covered head-to-toe in mud
nightgown and full makeup on
grandma exudes a deep-time elegance

humming her sweet sundown music
amongst veggies
suspiciously strong
a ritual increase a flowering
synonymous with poetry

front and back this flash Gadigal
hill-top double brick dream home
so far from her stucco beginnings
where now in the twilight hours
of a tired nation

I invoke the old art
of making fire
and plot tender revolutions
with the future custodians
of our little grassroots empire

Posted in TMLYMI v5 | Tagged

scattered in colour

scattered as Marcus as he got swept
up in frigid Melbourne as drunk as
little Nathan buried in Mbembe at
A.N.U. spent as the dull complicity
in offices proved on poor green me
is how damn scattered we are.

‘cause scattered is how we flew here.
and wide as the friction that comes
as the fire rubbing up against sun
burnt country, as settled as our g’daze.
it’s no wonder as we wonder what the
stretch of funk up in here sounds like.

we’re about to lose our heads ‘cause
we disperse and sprawl through the
fire expanse of who we hold on and how
we go on and where we go and how we
get to where we need to sinking here on
some stunning burnt, burnt country.

I too often have the sense of falling up
into a sheet of stars. and if I share
with you where we’re going out of
the dark night as the way our questions
burnt through like that constellation
Steph painted on my heavy chest.

it’s like a black articulation, for real.
caught in the swell of afro punk
and our dispersals also groove as
our displacements slip from azonto to
dub to murmur of different tongues
as we are sprawling, we are sprawling.

on the greenest grass. as the bbq fires
mother earth flat where we are who we are
as blurred as Australian as can be, completely
caught in the swell as our nightly soars
shine this evening bright as Alessandro
leaps into the crowded air and scatters

Posted in TMLYMI v5 | Tagged

money for two (I’m in the one percent)

cento after Elle advice column ‘Ask E. Jean’

This is a benevolent profession
Rogue! Poet! Swashbuckler!
And excellent at household chores!

One day, at a film premier,
I met the Irish actor Richard Harris
the Henry David Thoreau of Instagram
His bankruptcy was due to professional incompetence

A dreaded Dude Philanthopist
Dude-Gooder
“Do you rent your furniture?”

We hug, we shag, we cuddle,
waste your time, take your money and mangle
your children’s idea of right and wrong
What scene would be worse:

This is where the sulk comes in
I’d yodel positive hogwash
dislocating your very essence

bewailing vegetables beyond your control
Overexposed blobs with eyeballs
A 30-year-old blood-sucker is wound around your torso

Her barrage of cruelties
pass over my twin
help me “get over it”

Your friend can become an ordained minister,
will softly recede into a quieter kind of goodwill
What’s your quest?

My Youth Is Slipping Away
I look six times more beautiful at least!
(emoji, emoji, emoji)

Posted in TMLYMI v5 | Tagged

Tree

Have you ever seen a yellowing leaf clutching to a tree branch?
Listened so carefully you could hear it screaming?
The tree is rotting from its roots, but it still grows,
It still clings to its leaves.
It stands strong and refuses to go quietly.
How would you feel?
If all you knew was turning into mulch,
Feeding the scavengers in the muck?
You can feel them creeping and crawling, scratching, and scraping.
Eating out your insides one bite at a time.
They’re doing their best to break the body down,
But what they want, what they hunger for is the spirit within.
The forbidden food they have feasted on for generations.
The little leaves feel sick and one by one they succumb.
Some fly away when the wind picks up,
Some dry up in the scorching sun,
And some are consumed by those snapping their pincers and jaws below.
When a tree is sick most of its leaves fall too soon,
They transition before their time.
A connection is severed, and both are left cold from either side’s departure.
Rotten roots, twisting trunks, bending branches, lifeless leaves.
The wind is picking up,
The sun is boring down and the bush has gone quiet.
The tree stands strong but can’t hold on and she falls with a sickening thud.
Those waiting for their feast move in quickly and silent as death.
And death does come.
Every strip of bark,
Every ring of time,
And every leaf that couldn’t fight back is annihilated.
Annihilation, decimation, extermination. Genocide.
Where will you be when it’s too late?
To save a tree and all its leaves.

Posted in TMLYMI v5 | Tagged

No one can love the world except God

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. – 1 John 2:15

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16

my pastor says during mass / and I think I love the world, but I am no god / only a skinny boy with
enough rivers inside me to call home / to wage war / name country / continent / benevolent brute /

sometimes my beloved is a field of wide open overripe fruit and I am their only bee / sometimes my
beloved sings and my hands lift like lilted notes, twisting into a voice / just to join / chorus /
chorus / bridge / today I am watching the birds lift in a hymnal of snowed wing and feather and bone and I

remember that the last male white rhino is dead / and the bees are dying / and there are no more fields to
wade through like rivers / but I am a river / I am the bank’s dirt and my beloved buries bruised flowers

inside me / I am sitting / my face against the glass / watching a thousand birds / fall through a thousand
mornings / chorus / chorus / bridge / my beloved defrosts meat in the kitchen / the ruby / the slick red
wettening in the pink light and I praise this ritual of becoming / faithful rune of cartilage and cardinal/ I

think my love / like all love / is a kind of bird / wreckage of sparrow singing through unbridled throat /
yes / what other glory than this? I sing praise / hosanna / because when they told me

grief has a mouth / my first thought was to kiss it / forgive me / when they told me grief was an animal /
my first thought was to take it home / no, not hunt it in an open field / but home: dry its wet fur / feed it
defrosted lamb from the fridge / I’m sorry / I meant joy / I know you wanted a poem about joy / but

here’s the truth: when I couldn’t write a complete sentence in only English / my first grade teacher made
me stand outside the room and forgot I was there until lunch / because I had no language / I had no

language to cleave the world for space for my body / because once / in writing class, mistaking the
synonym of plot to mean the same thing I write: I lie in a story of land; a cunning of grass and rhye–– Yes. Yes. I
know the trauma of metaphor; the trauma of being a metaphor / I know metaphor’s trauma well the way

I know the sun will die and how my teacher will forget me / (I could not hold her language) / But some
days, my grandma and I will sit on her porch / our faces mauled by columns of sunlight / eat

bright fruit pulled from the ground / durian / mangosteen /rambutan like tiny bone-white suns / the
mangoes crowning our mouths / rising, like dawn inside our throats / a thousand dawns / a thousand
mornings / a thousand birds / falling / falling / falling / like notes / like overripe fruit / like overripe

song / I am twisting blue lilies into her hair / crush hibiscus around her eyes / and for once / we love the
world / and we are not god /and no one’s children / no one’s stupid forgettable children / and we are

not god / and we are not god /
but almost /
almost /

Posted in TMLYMI v5 | Tagged

Gilly G

the night is young
because your hand is on my knee


resting surely as seventeen conversations


warble around us.

whose birthday is it anyway?


i’m busy falling in love
with this couple sitting across the table
waxing on about
Gilgamesh, clutching axe and nightshade


flailing

frayed


at the rim of the forest
meeting Enkidu.


and he’s good, Enkidu, but he dies
and Gilly G wanders the wasteland
baying for his ghost.

as i watch you listening
in your eyes we are them
but in mine Enkidu’s absence is only his.



when I look at you
I find it hard to remember

if

for me


we were ever

them.


that we were in a place
where love rang out
and you could not get away from it

the back then unseaming the now, our bodies
leaching light in unravelled rows

the stars falling in dizzy waves
up and up
over
the lip of this world.

could it be i’m still waiting
for the banquet doors to open

could it be the burnished first look
at someone hot entering the room


that undoes it all.
and how the feeling now
escapes through the throat,
instead gathers all around me like weather.


in dreams I am a multitude of ghosts
whirring in concentric circles, passing
right through your chest like gamma rays

in attempts to kiss your ashen mouth.


it’s no use. jagged knife-lust
is replaced by a soft cavernous want
not a train slicing itself into the city
but a diaphanous ringtone filling the room.


i know now,
while your body is turning into tomorrow
i will remain a speck of dust.
i will remain containing
your offerings and songs


and in the quiet of the blue night
I leave the room, a tomb,
pass by your solemn body
resting there, unmoving limbs repeating
yesterday’s words as iridescence

knowing I will miss
the way you hold the light
on your skin so effortlessly.


hence I’m tramping down Parramatta Road
to seven eleven for a donut, for something sweet,
and I see lit by block light Gilgamesh, vape-smoke streaming
out of his mouth, dead and pink and alive.
he says without words (only the smell of blueberries)

“When you walk back up the street
the home you have just left will be cold,
thick with dust, the bed empty, the room barren.
You know this already, so?
Want a puff?”


I’m kissing him to pieces now
in the curve of a neon glow,
traffic light leaking onto the side of the road

my body lurching, ecstatic,
in the blinding brightness
of a sugar rush.

Posted in TMLYMI v5 | Tagged

Five sketches in ink

Nature is impermanent, and so our bodies are inherently impermanent things. Despite our internal homeostatic mechanisms that serve to maintain a physiological balance (that can easily be disrupted), our bodies are in a constant state of flux. So are our thoughts, feelings and desires – all those metaphysical things that make us who we are. We are a new person each day on some level though we may not notice the changes, and yet sometimes we choose to impose the illusion of permanence on our bodies by various means.

I am interested in tattoos, how they allow us to embed a semi-permanent snapshot of our ever-changing selves in a physical, prominent, and intimate form. The following individuals have generously shared with me the stories behind their tattoos and reflected on their past and present selves. In response, I have worked with them to create short poems to represent where they are at this point in their lives. After they have chosen the location of their poem, I have provided them with a custom temporary tattoo of it.

Here is a gallery of snapshots of these individuals through the lens of their bodies and time.

Posted in TMLYMI v5 | Tagged

sealed tight for safety

i call my suburb the god district
because there’s a church on every corner
because the sunsets here are beautiful
because of all the retirement homes

here’s where i saw god this week:
on night-time concrete, while jumping, singing
the wattlebird watching me write this
my favourite cup shattering on the bathroom sink

i make dinner to Survivor
i get into bed with a nineteen year-old
scandinavian and his axe
he is building a log cabin from scratch
he is chipping at timber
he is knocking me asleep

i felt god in my almond magnum
that 7eleven is atop a hill
i can see the whole world
my parents tell me hello

slurp
there’s that final suck
before my window sip
is fully wound gulp
and the citylink gasp
is a world away

there’s the fact that
the muffle starts
before the ute hits your bonnet
and then there’s ringing

i’d like to make a shrine
in my living room
but i can’t find an altar on gumtree
and my hands have been so shaky lately
and chicken wire makes me bleed

shards of shattered blue
like sledgehammer to screen
like riverbank in sweden
in winter and
a strong man’s foot

when the log cabin is finished
and the doors is closed
it will be airtight
it will be silent

my grandmother is with white cotton now
and with the earth
her body will nourish the dirt and that graveyard
will become a mountain
it will be so high
and the sunsets will be beautiful

the muffle hits before the crash
and then there’s the bits on asphalt
the last time
i saw plastic shatter like that
it was a toy
i was twelve
i was in beirut
it was under a tyre

god saves my life every time i walk the creek and don’t fall in
i would not drown
i would be so stunned by the water
its yuckiness
that i would stay there forever

i found a frame
on facebook marketplace
it’s silver
like my birthname
but lost its luster
like my birthname
the frame
is for my grandmother
for the portrait of her that i love

and i saw a photo of a heron
eating a rat
in central park
the water is brown
the rat’s body is perfect

mannequin
with arms and legs
click-locked in place
petrified like that and snapped
to stay that way
forever

Posted in TMLYMI v5 | Tagged

for desire

in response to Kim Addonizio’s ‘For Desire’

give me his dark curls, his whites & browns & coppers
give me the sweetest porridge & the bitter olives
that take the longest to cure
give me the lover who feeds me cumquat
takes the bitten fruit i would not swallow fully
darts his tongue out to suck its pulp whole.
woo me in the middle of a grand room
with a wood-burning fire only someone
with callous hands could tame.
i do not want ambivalent greetings
but the one who opens his arms at the driveway
carves out a way for me to his childhood stories
leans his forehead down to my squatted thighs
& listens to my broken red-flushed poetry.
i do not want to be ravaged anymore
chased after on the dark streets
wolfed down by a blue-suited devil
who would not learn my name.
give me the warmth of someone who savours
who would not kiss me until i ask them to
who would untie my ruminations
with the same hands that worship
banksias & bushy yates at this land’s feet.
i want the lover who would kiss my knees
& ask me which heavens i come from,
who is light-filled, standing in a room unyielding
despite my storm, my soft fire, a gush of
waterfalls down a rapid stream.
i want his strong arms & the narrow girth of his body
pressing against me on a bed where
he asks first where i want to be touched.
i want to say: everywhere. i want to
sit on his lap & have an endless conversation
i want to live for love until i am brimming to the rim
all i could do is pour. i want to wait after a long day
for his truck to arrive & stand before him
wearing just my giant pink shirt
look him in the eyes then kneel at his feet
& tell him just how fucking good he looks.

Posted in TMLYMI v5 | Tagged

Dictation Poem One: Profanity Filter

D-I-
“Asterix”
-K-T-a-T-I-O-N space numeric one.
“Enter”
that didn’t work.
D-I-I-see-K
enter
D-I-see-say-K
see-oh-see-K
“I am human am I human?”
Enter:
space
space
space
space
space
ha ha; clears throat…

“I may have a steady number
but at least
my floors

are always changing”

Just like my-
“****”
-TIS TISTS-
“****”
space-
“***********” -and poop- “***”
, Asterix censorship language
bad
language
badbad
language
–“I-can’t-write-this-poem-right-now-because-the-dictator-won’t-dictate-the
-swear-words-in-my-writingthenaughtywords


“: “The Bad Language”.”

Posted in TMLYMI v5 | Tagged

Mother

The day my mother chose me, a flame was ignited.

Her fertility, abundance and generosity fed this light of mine.
Until the shimmering radiance of a mid morning’s sun paled in comparison,
To my warmth,
My kindness,
My compassion.

Fuck, I was a blazing fucking inferno.
I was strength.
I was power.
I was peace.
I was fucking fire.

Until the day my mother came calling.
It was my turn to deliver unto her, what she had to me.
I was to keep that cold hearth aflame.
Ensure bitterness and loneliness did not leave a forever stain upon the greatness of her.

The chill of the morticians scythe must be kept at bay.
For she could no longer sustain.
She could no longer give.
She could no longer share.

She was tired, her body withered and frail.
Her endless bounty of life, and life-giving shrivelled.
Not unlike the corpse of a roadside animal,
Skin and bones rotten with disdain.

Her time had come and all that remained was a emptiness where my flame once lived.
She had gone, but I was stuck.
Lingering within coals lukewarm from memories,
dithering amidst the smoke.
Moments of Joy.
And passion.
And serenity.
Littered amidst the embers of a dying flame.

How could I exist without you, my mother?
How could You leave me stranded amongst your ruinous remains?
How could I exist without you, my mother?
How could You leave me alone?

Posted in TMLYMI v5 | Tagged

Spiders

Can spiders fall in love?
Does one look at the other
with an embarrassed secret glance?
Do they write poems in silk
and, with infatuated mind, run their lover’s name
across trees, across corners
so that love is hidden in every shadow?

Do they go ice-skating for their first date?
Is one more experienced than the other,
offering one leg for their date to hold onto
while their other legs trail and clatter around them in hired skates?

Do their pincers knock awkwardly in their first kiss?
Do they get lost in the aisles of forests looking for gifts?
Do they wonder what and when they should label each other?
Do they hide from their parents when they fall for someone?

And do they sometimes dream it’s just them spinning silk
in a dark world where not even the moon can voyeur
Or is it okay with spiders if everyone can see them be in love?

Posted in TMLYMI v5 | Tagged

Signed, Ready for Duty in Reservoir

a tumbleweed rolls past us / under boom gate
/ over train tracks
i think — it belongs in brunswick
more than we do, today

i could reach across the gearstick,
tell you that tumbleweed…. is a diaspore
and a diaspore is anything that carries seeds to someplace else
but i’m trying to sound less like a diaspora poet
and your facts are better than mine

like when you say that vegan fish fingers don’t aim for fish flavours
just for…. fish-adjacent ones
lemon and seaweed, tartare sauce if you please
you call it ‘taste of the sea’ and my greasy tastebuds are fooled

i’ve been camping out in the paris end of insomnia
for a while now
i think the locals hate me …
… or maybe that’s the insomnia talking …

i got the welcome-to-the-neighbourhood pack:
melatonin, weighted blanket,
pass-agg post-it about screen time before bed
like insomnia is a nordic government
and i’m a big baby

and every night i’m doing battle,
fighting for my life under that blanket,
sleep paralysis demon perched on the nightstand
whispering…. “sheep aren’t real”

this feels like an activation phrase
taste of the…. government cover-up
but if i’m a sleeper agent
i’m a bit crap at it

doctor, doctor, i’ve dislocated my spirit
it popped right out of the socket
and the human flesh search engine
isn’t taking my calls anymore

Posted in TMLYMI v5 | Tagged

for sylvie & the moonee ponds creek

something milked & my tummy rumbles
I haven’t seen the sea in so long. I read
somewhere that sand is carried by river
a product of endless watery movement
but let me not be a thing that carries
or is carried but a hand grasping air
stooping to dig at the surface that
gurgles & leaks & never says anything.
that day I was learning the river for the
last time & I noticed ‘Fritz’ spray painted
on concrete, the sound of frying seeds
like a whiplash of wind named before it
hurts & everyone walked possessed.
somewhere, upstream, I hear that pepper
trees shed salmon leaves & the marsh
is a sinkhole, a blinking cyclops of thin light
but here, I nest inside the distance of a
thing carried & how faintly the water coos.

Posted in TMLYMI v5 | Tagged

Impressions

Summer weaves its limbs through the gaps of the dead magnolia. Contact is made with a tendril, lacing up to scale a wall. Outlines of a sky cracked open by branches, pressing static into colourless forms. The shared nature of vision teaches us less about experience and more about power.

Sinking down glossy liquids to an abundance of long gazes. A mirage, or a prediction of what comes after the event. Listen to the hours hovering over these architectures. The backdrop of suburbia is oppressive when heat rises.

Keep forgetting the word to describe the feeling that occurs when meaning is effaced in the process of articulation. As in, speech is tilting again. Something about cruelty, falling into arcs of delicate pauses. Notice again: that the air is sticky with the residues of the past.

I find myself dwelling in the shapes of history, memorising the edges that we have come to understand as movement. The light is porous with humidity, driving down highways unspooling themselves, no longer stitched together by signs.

In the spaces between substance and suggestion, I ask you: What kind of image remains, without sight?

There is a structure to giving that is indistinct from labour. There is a structure to light that is indistinct from collision. When sleep slants through the walls, I tentatively care for the imprints that do not stay.

There is a clarity located in objects, and it is in this that I find comfort.

Mimic the limits of a soluble blue. Observe how a body folds when it comes into contact with another’s. Circle the enclosures of a referent, speak around these chasms.

To reach for language as a relation, where words do not always name, but function or obliterate.

I lined this city with implications, so that I could ask you: what forms of erasure allow for luminosity, instead of dissolution?

Posted in TMLYMI v5 | Tagged

Submission to Cordite 104: KIN

Image by Jacqueline Jane

In becoming kin, we journey unbound across homelands, histories and generations. This issue will explore how kinship, our understandings of who we are and where we come from, engages with dynamic senses of Country and belonging to Country.

How does Country hold knowledge, stories and memories of how we are interconnected?

How do we become kindred to Countries and cultures?

How do diverse and complex understandings of kinship intersect?

We are seeking writing which reflects on our instinctive longing for home, family, kin and a sense of belonging in an ever-changing world.


Submission to Cordite 103: KIN closes 11.59pm Melbourne time Sunday, 14 November 2021.


Please note:

  1. The guest editor(s) has sovereign selection choice for all poems submitted.
  2. Masthead editors will also contribute to the issue.
  3. We will only read submissions sent during our official submission periods.
  4. Please place up to three (3) poems in one (1) Word, RTF or PDF document (unless specifically noted otherwise for special issues), with no identifying details in the document itself.
  5. We are not able to offer feedback on individual poems.
  6. Submissions will only be accepted via Submittable …

submit


Posted in GUNCOTTON | Tagged

Zowie Douglas-Kinghorn Reviews Slow Walk Home by Young Dawkins

Slow Walk Home by Young Dawkins
Red Squirrel Press, 2021


There is a humour to Slow Walk Home that interrupts solemn atmospheres with a wry warmth, comedy and tragedy unfurling like contrasting petals of the same bloom. The second collection of verse by Young Dawkins, an American-born poet who has lived in Scotland and now resides in Tasmania, Slow Walk Home also pays homage to Beat poets of his generation, evident in poems such as ‘The Real Lion—Ginsberg’ and ‘Kerouac, Raton Canyon’. But these homages aren’t mere nostalgia – Dawkins offers a glimpse of the era through a fractured looking glass, not entirely rose-tinted, but perhaps with a smudge of its glow. In ‘Fishing with the Dead’ and ‘Breakdown,’ Dawkins tempers his reflections on the past with a mature gaze – both poems inhabit a quiet sense of finitude, but not melancholy, as the speaker witnesses a collapse in communication. There is a sense of arrival approaching acceptance as the latter poem’s final line reads: ‘The railroads are dying.’ This poem powerfully conveys the bewildering sense of love’s failure in one becoming unknown to the other, an experience illustrated by weeds devouring machinery: ‘Swallows are nesting / in the faded / yellow coach car / that was our love.’ In the yellow coach car, Dawkins shows the wild ache of abandon, the lost capacity for warmth that emanates from a hollowed vessel of memory. As Dawkins writes in ‘Portsmouth’, ‘Memory is the diamond stone / on which we hone our edges.’ These are not so much trips down memory lane as an observation of memory’s physicality – the ways in which life is contoured by loss and mortality, evoked in decomposing symbols of the old American dream: hollowed-out cars, railroads that come to an end through their disuse.

In his encounters with dead ends and cul-de-sacs, Dawkins acknowledges that, to parrot a simple adage, that all things, good or bad, must pass. In doing so, he draws connections between homage and transience. Among the references to other poets of his generation is a sense of memory as a fluid instrument, filtering through channels of music and image to find a place of rest. The act of remembering and paying respects to loved ones passed is expressed in the simple practice of walking. When the speaker goes to visit the grave of a loved one, or crosses the road, these sites are rendered at once surreal and mundane by glimmers of reverence and humour.

Maybe it’s the old Billy Connolly rule that you can make anything funny with a Scottish accent, but reading ‘Green Man’ made me laugh out loud at the poem’s deadpan line: ‘you cannae / simply stand there like some fucking tourist.’ Dawkins wields humour in different ways throughout – it intercepts tragedy in the poem ‘Dialogue’, where the speaker visits their father’s grave in a cemetery, all the while recognising the names on other headstones of people they knew growing up. The grieving speaker sits down in the cemetery:

I said, Dad, I love you. I miss you.
He was silent.
I took one of my business cards
and placed it above his name, 
in case he changes his mind. 

These poems are deceptively simple in narrative, but they hold a balance between seemingly conflicting forces. In bringing together these glimpses of humour alongside stretches of sorrow, Slow Walk Home reads like a tapestry of love and loss. The warm joys of the mundane are interspersed between dizzying highs and punishing lows. For example, Dawkins’ poetry trammels the small pleasures of everyday routines with subtly evocative language, in the poem ‘The Perfect Chicken Sandwich’ (‘toasted fast beneath an angry grill’) and the poem about his son, ‘Tom, One Year’. This poem is as guileless as its title, but playful in its depiction of parenthood:

we throw stale bread at indifferent ducks, 
then bundle back home for a later lunch of pasta, 
self-served by fat little fingers. 

The rhythm of these poems works alongside images of food and contented repetition, creating a sense of comfort, or the radiance of quiet happiness.

Not ready for sleep and too early to eat— 
we walk around the flat, you crooked in my arm, 
and together we put names to the mysteries; 
Door. Clock. Rug. Light.

But there are sections where the poetry feels perhaps too satisfied, too convinced of its own enclosing logic, such as in the closing poem ‘Home’:

they sent a beautiful woman 
from the edge of the earth, 
first to hold me, 
to love me, 
to remind me 
of being a man. 

The poem doesn’t make it clear if the implication that women are put on earth to remind men of their masculinity is intended as wryness or irony that emerges in the rest of the collection, or whether it is an unintentionally earnest cliché. Either way, to end with something so conclusive (or so loaded with irony) feels like a missed mark for in a collection that is otherwise adept at unravelling more complex expressions of relationships. Either way, the entire poem feels as if it is trying to bundle an expansive allegory into a few universalising words that could be deliberately ambiguous, but which lack the specificity and depth of the preceding poems.

Posted in BOOK REVIEWS | Tagged ,