it’s like a Hiroshima of fun

then instead of buying scones

from the CWA ladies spruiking

at Camp Hill State School

we turn our attention to the candidates

and I remember I collected

how-to-votes for Hawke’s second

or maybe Ahern’s only and now

that elections have lost their lustre

we head off to the salon to vajazzle

but end up bitch slapped by editors

for dropping too much pop in the hopper

after all we’re only doing it to be with it

like burlesque is just a polite way

of getting your tits out for the skinny jeans crowd

irony is old fashioned like Camels

and cocktails sans mixers

Patrick Bateman had some things right

the money not the chainsaws still less

the Genesis CD’s and if you kill the kid

make sure your first call is to the celebrity agent

you want the deal watertight

before A Current Affair come knocking