Dead Poem Office

By | 27 June 2005

I read the last rites over your submission today
& since our procedures have been streamlined
I'm delighted & at the same time proud to say
That we've found a place for your poetry here.

Give us your poems & in several years' time
We'll give you an idea of death's landscapes.
Redundant rhymes, image, metaphor sublime:
Your four line stanzas, our grim burial plots.

Taking a rejection personally is well-advised.
That's why we never say no to anything sent.
Our acceptance procedures have been revised:
Please note in case of future correspondence.

Simultaneous submissions remain unwelcome
As we pride ourselves on our unique position
Within the mortuary canon. Flattery seldom
Impresses as much as genuine humility does.

On behalf of our hard-working gravediggers
Congratulations once again on your success.
In future issues, as our catalogue gets bigger,
May we all transcend our obsessional deaths.

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