I read the last rites over your submission today

& since our procedures have been streamlined

I'm delighted & at the same time proud to say

That we've found a place for your poetry here.
Give us your poems & in several years' time

We'll give you an idea of death's landscapes.

Redundant rhymes, image, metaphor sublime:

Your four line stanzas, our grim burial plots.
Taking a rejection personally is well-advised.

That's why we never say no to anything sent.

Our acceptance procedures have been revised:

Please note in case of future correspondence.
Simultaneous submissions remain unwelcome

As we pride ourselves on our unique position

Within the mortuary canon. Flattery seldom

Impresses as much as genuine humility does.
On behalf of our hard-working gravediggers

Congratulations once again on your success.

In future issues, as our catalogue gets bigger,

May we all transcend our obsessional deaths.