By | 1 June 2022

openings can be challenging
where to sit everyone who has a chair named after them

opera chair from investment banking requires ergonomics
being chair of an arts org is both pleasure and responsibility

[chair now an object, now belonging to or associated with person]
not everyone can be given the name of a monarch

I enter my name into a chair name generator
it asks me what I currently do in life
(I work in an office/I do not work in an office)
how often I work out will assist in calculating a title
whether I see infrastructure as big or small

there is an art to naming furniture, there is more at stake
than any new born child due to levels of production

seeking visceral connection with consumers
everybody wants a throne, nobody dignifies a toilet

IKEA has the process down to a science
all have Scandinavian origins

beds have Norwegian place names; seating have Swedish ones
in my next life I will return as a Stavanger queen ensemble
I will be a port to strangers dreams
a berth for bodies, ferrying the traffic of pleasure boats
paying tribute to cruise administration

no mentions of chairs were made in the bible
(the more you rely on a backrest, the more you tend to slump)

companies fund chairs as part of good corporate citizenship
(Jesus was not a good corporate citizen, he liked to stand up)

billionaire is padded soft beige eco-leather with vintage walnut structure
(just one in 10 ASX 200 chairmen is a woman)

I sit in this lounge chair and watch the first season of shows
I sit on this swivel chair and preside over search engines
(look up things with a back and four legs that can’t walk)
dream of a chair to carry the day weight of dreaming
I up look up dream chair online and become two inches of foam

a well-endowed chair requires chutzpah
catbird seat is the best place to chew the ear off a president

as Ellen DeGeneres says Leaning forward in your chair
when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn’t enough

we will break down before the office chair, these bare ends
not built to comprehend how many of us there really are

microplastics have been found lodged deep
in the tissue of living people for the first time.
there is increasing concern about hazards within us.
we have each swallowed the equivalent of one hundred stackable chairs,
our lungs are an auditorium of unsustainable applause.

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