At Winter Solstice that Year
Over a white cloth

you could feel that her cold hands were so tiny

you’d very much like to lift the white cloth covering her face

and put your face next to it

rubbing your cheek against hers as you did when you were a child

when Mother came over and held me down

allowing me only to weep
this woman, who had brought me up

letting me sleep with her tit in my mouth

was now lying underneath a white cloth

there were a few tubes of Dolantin in the fridge

and the words I wanted to say were still hot in my belly

what had been offered before

was of no use in front of death
despair, deceived, was surging, level after level

pressing down on the chest

I opened my mouth as wide as possible, yelling

breathing out of my throat

with all my strength

there was no one else in the house

except the tearful crying of my parents, my older brother and his wife


那年冬至
隔着一层白布

摸到她冰冷的手那么小

很想揭开遮盖她面部的白布

把脸贴上去

像小时候那样彼此摩擦

母亲走过来摁住我

她只允许我哭
这个让我含着她乳头睡去

养我长大的女人

如今躺在一块白布下

冰箱里杜冷定还有几支

要说的话还在肚子里热着

之前付出的一切

在死神面前毫无作用
被欺骗的绝望一层层涌来

压在胸口

我张大嘴用尽全部气力

冲破喉咙

呐喊

屋里除了父母兄嫂的哭泣声外

没有其他人的