Day Stay

Whether you’re there
for an hour
or the whole day
it’s always like returning home—

to that room in Immunology
where you’ve spent
so much of the past year.

With its two beds
and three armchairs,TV
and handbasin
it brings to mind
images of domesticity
that somehow one’s spirit needs—

the comforting
and familiar, the secure:
what’s easy to touch
and understand.

Tony, the duty nurse
welcomes us
with his happy, boyish smile.
“Darling, how are you today?”
“Fine,” you reply.
“Wonderful! Now let’s get you settled.”
And he does—
in what’s become known
as Kate’s bed.

I settle down
beside you, sit and read TALKABOUT
or the SYDNEY STAR OBSERVER:
learn how hard
it is for people to be accepted,
to be themselves,
and how easily discrimination
rears its proverbial
“ugly head.”

In the meantime
they prepare you for another
bone marrow biopsy
to test the presence
or otherwise
of further leukaemic cells—
and I cringe to think
how a corkscrew needle
will shortly puncture your flesh;

and how you, too,
will have to learn to adjust
to the world outside
this friendly little room—
whether the result
is good or bad.

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

In Ultimo in ‘98

I maximise my traipsing
round the district—

at the end of Bay Street
Bert Flugelman’s silver shish-kebab
lies abandoned
in the Sydney City Council yard
behind the garbage trucks garage
(“Living City
say the
t-shirts)

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

Xanana’s Dog

You can call me Xanana’s dog but
You can’t run from my lapping tongue; please
Say a prayer for Xanana’s dog but
Don’t you dare tell them where I am.

They can’t find Xanana Gusmao, though
They search the church for him, crying:
“Where did he go, where is Xanana?” So
They arrest me, because I’m Xanana’s little dog.

Set me free! Asleep at night forget,
In the day remember, asleep at night forget me but
In the day remember that I am Xanana’s dog.
Free Xanana!

They chain me up, but I’m Xanana’s little dog;
They set me on fire, but I’m Xanana’s little dog;
They call me names, but I’m Xanana’s little dog;
They beat me and try to make me speak but I am only a little dog.

Set me free! Asleep at night forget,
In the day remember, asleep at night forget and
In the day remember.

Trouble comes for Xanana’s little dog;
Java comes for Xanana’s little dog;
East Timor says goodbye to Xanana’s little dog—
“Goodbye, Xanana’s little dog!”

Xanana, Xanana, Xanana Gusmao!
Please help me, I am only a little dog!

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

When the Weather Changes to Warm, the Boys Drive Shirtless

Their cigarettes wasting to nought.
Bodies locked to a mirror, an eye. An impetuous shutter.
Look. Here.At me. The skin a mere pelt, a hide, a peel.
What is this theatricality, this amorous vanity?

A line from the chin will elongate the nose.
Black will brighten the whites of the eyes.
Shaving the hairline will heighten the brow.
Charm me. Render me impervious to injury.

Make me invisible at night.
Skin like water, teeth like milk, the sapling back.
Make me invisible at night. The body as transit, coinage.
Consequence. Clean repetition of I am. Here. Look. At me.

Stopped in front of a mirror, self locking self
into place. Stopped at the side of a lake,
ledge of a window. Stopped, the impetuous shuttering.
We are in transit, no thought but the next,

vanity etching the surface.
The boys are shirtless: ornament and pronoun
poised just inches away from disorder
and trembling, death and the endless expanse.

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

Dreamocracy

The most terrifying sound—
an ice cream truck
in the middle of the night.

I’m perfectly flat
feeling my fingerprints.
It occurs to me that
the answer to our childhood questions is:
we’re being tortured.

When I’m with my thoughts finally
I’m someone else, I am
driving an ice cream truck though the night
with no lights, pulling on the string that rings the bell.
I am the unwholesome whippoorwill trilling in the moonlight.
I am awake late defending the campsite against elves.
I am tortured in a sandbox at the army base.
I am throwing sand in a little boy’s eyes.
I am getting very sleepy.

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

I’ll Leave a Poem or Two

in memory of Primo Levi, an Auschwitz survivor

I’ll leave you nebbich poems like these
Made to be read by five or six readers.
—Primo Levi


I’ll leave a poem or two some teeth for no-one’s
mouth old books newspapers and cufflinks
a broken bust of Beethoven a silver wedding ring
fashioned into honesty-leaves. I was true.
I’ll not leave a cellar full of vintage wines dusty
bottles lying on their sides stocks and shares
and their dividends. I strived for something more.
Not to be shouted over roof-tops not to be crammed
into letter-boxes. This poem make to be read
by five or six readers.

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

In Surry Hills

faintly scribbled in sky-blue pencil
on the front wall of my house
in Surry Hills in 1971—
“is this the hostel where the lazy & fun-loving
start up the mountain”

I don’t think anyone entering the house
had hear of F. O’Hara,
their T-Rex records under their arms,
sauntering
out to the kitchen to lean against
the fur-lined door I’d made
to honour Meret Oppenheim
& for a sensual lean
as well

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

The Lodger

outgrown the body simply
drags what it can’t carry

mouth slack as a stroke
but eyes the colour of bees

we are at the centre
of all that flowers in the lodger

and when he shows himself
we must take his useless hand

kiss him on the mouth
until he weeps like a woman

and admits he can’t pay his way
causing trouble where ever he stays

but if we let him he’ll learn
how to love us for his keep
all he asks is time
to prepare us for his death

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

The Man in a Poem

There’s a man in a poem
bathed in moonlight.
You know him
you’ve seen him before.
He’s bending over
tipping his dreams
into a bin
with fish-heads and bottles
and yesterday’s paper.
Nobody wants them.
He raises his head
to look at the moon
through a fork in a tree.
You know the moon
you’ve seen the tree.
Can you write him
another life?
You want to don’t you
but where could you find
such a magical pen?
He’s the man in a poem
every night
tipping his dreams
raising his head.

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

Enter

You will find the house with a bee for a heart,
a sprinkle of stars on the leaves,my bees, a confetti
of light that swarms the hot honeycomb on the picket fence,
the stems of purple dahlias strewn with damp hay.

Pull the dusk after you, leave your clouds behind.

Chase away the crimson dark, the cold, the alone with fire.
Split gum tree stacked along the mossy wall, inside
logs tumble from the stove, ash and flame
dancing the Tibetan prayer-flags that hang
over the cracked mantle, scorching the bricks with black chalk.

Blue buckets, charred with smoke,waxy buttons
mapping the wooden table, the history of darkness
draining hot like rain to the floor.

The room is yellow. It has to be.

Three candles and you can write. Barely.
Four candles to read. One candle to illuminate
a fraction of what you need to see, to live by.

Clutches of old trees in your hair.
The possums send them through the roof with their scratching.
Pools of lemon-scented gum leaves are their beds above you,
all night their teeth chew at your dreams, the dust
washing over the tepee of your silk bed the dog gets tangled in.

When it storms, the old house cracks its bones
beneath you.You know you would not live
if they broke, but that does not stop you from living there,
in the butter-light, in the tea-dust, in the cosmos blood, in the blue
flame under the teapot, the soap by the sink
pink and edge-laced with teeth. Some nights the mice
manage to carry it away altogether, nights when the rooms shudder
with all the restless life you cannot see.

Wake up touched by rain.
Travel back the way you came, by puddle, by ladder,
you almost fell once, boot slipping through the rung
the fast wax like sticky tape wound around your hand.
Peel it off. It is like skin.

You do the same when you come in, and when you go.

My house of honey.
For a bead of this I would guard the entrance,
I would mend the light.

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

Someone Named Gutierrez: A Dream, A Western

Outside the cantina
with you in the backseat of a ruined DeSoto,
torn upholstery, vinyl mange
and the big old radio’s static frying
what could only be a Dixie Cups tune.
Things had gone terribly bad,
and Slim, who drove us the whole long way
through the chaparral and dust,
was in there now, with them,
asking for the money he had no right to,
had no right to even ten years back
when the fire was, or so he says.
They nearly killed him then,
the fool, the braggart, the Suicide Kid,
just itching after a good old-timey
late afternoon cowboy send-off,
blood and gold and glinting side arms,

with us stuck back there yet, hove-to
in the back seat like two kids
waiting for Dad.
When you touched me,
the lightest of touches, the most unforeseen,
carelessly along the wrist.
I nearly came unglued.
I mean, I knew about Ramone,
that lovely boy—and for so long,
the two of you. I cherish that photo still,
your white tam-o’-shanter, his red TransAm.
Then I became water.
Then, from what had once been my chest,
a plant made of light effloresced.
Thus, our adventure began, our slow-motion
free-fall through the vapours and oils.
I stammered at your white flesh.
And that,
that’s when the shooting began.

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

Apology for and Further Explanation of an Attempt to Divert Accusations of Equivocation

In my hometown, it was like January,
like January in Oaxaca, in Fortin

de las Flores, like Fortin
in the mid-forties, like the 40s

in December, like December
on the river, a forest of willows

half in, half out of water,
like the river in the picture,

like the picture above your bureau,
like your bureau filled to overflowing

with feathers every colour of the spectrum
feathers blown through vowels,

through curtains of bougainvillea, going
on forever, forever as it formerly was,

in the lustre of a loved one’s luggage,
baggage to carry lightly or solemnly

toss-off into the Bay of Fundy.
Thank you for four golden mice

who never wake me up at night,
for the pocket-size surveillance device,

for books which tell me nothing’s unakin.
In January it was like my hometown

in the 1940s in the middle of December,
December a cool glass of water at noon

in the summer, a clinking of cowbells
to signal it’s evening. I was seven

four, eight, eleven, still unborn,
brother to my younger sister,

sister to my mother, father like a twin,
twins like vapour trails on clear nights

in October.You were my shadow
I dared not step into.You stood by

my shoulder, champion, angel, faithful
companion I dare not look in the eye.

What was it like for you?
Were you about to step into your skin,

like water poured from a pitcher,
like an ant into amber, like molten gold?

Was the gold like someone’s fortune
or folly, folly a moving picture you’d get

into for a quarter, when a quarter meant
more than a dollar, a dollar a bit

of a future you’d be expected to furnish,
I’d be with you to finish,

of a finish wearing the date of your birth,
polished with everyone’s hopes,

polished with everyone’s dreams
lost in a basket of keepsakes.

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

Pro Model Tells Story

it’s not like i’m attached
to all these camelcoats,
long, short &
floppy (big buttons),
short & tight (big
buttons): i mean i would give them just
give them
to any girl off the bus,
stairs tar black corduroy
and the driver, her relaxed
hair, wide-wheels through left
turn signals in deep, slovenly
rain, i’d give her one.

it’s just when i get stuck across
town in the rain by that fish
shop overlooking the ocean,
whole rows of these
fish shops and it’s raining, then
i do need a coat as i wait like
my pig-tailed chewing lips debated
for mother to pick up but
it’s so far away and there’s
nothing worse than your
teenager having some
job where you hafta go
fetch her half across

but when you get a large green
newsmelly plush, well you still
don’t want to be at the
beck-&-call of some teenage

& your progeny’s buying a little sportscar like a girl in a film, even a
European
& she just wonders, mother
Victoria, oh Victoria!—the map of
where i was,
please

He gave narrative, tenderness,
solicitude & doubt. photos of the two
of us labelled everywhere. I walk through shelves and streets of

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

Pregnant Woman in Red

Most of the flesh a harsh red,
heightening the expressiveness
of the figure with its black
outlines and setting it off
against the background colour
of the paper.

The woman’s mask-like,
raised face appears as an afterthought.
Far more important is the shape
of her body—the hefty thighs
and the swollen belly—round
as an apple.

Her distended body, thigh, and arm
are altogether believable.The left half
is less convincing, for here only
an outline is provided, then
filled in with a brush
to match the other arm.

The artist has omitted
the table or chair
supporting the figure:
the pregnant woman
on an elevated surface
hangs in space.

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

Woman in a Street Stall

She makes torn shapes above a pot;
and I love to watch how the moon
adds its cool, transparent edge
to her lips. She tests for enough spice,
enough distance, and I watch those
sticks of cinnamon float among
her large, flat spoons.Ah, there could
be a bird flapping out of tall grass
by her sweet oasis, and a man too,
whose breath smells of cedar and dust,
who has come to quench himself,
to listen too to the duet of her spoons
and bracelets. I watch her face
above the steaming pot, above the
milky expanse where I imagine all
her customers, lonely, yet open
to the intimacies of their thirsts,
to their days full of the umber scents
of their longings stirred in well
before dark. Far off, the sounds
of dunes moving under birds’ wings
are the sounds her sighs make
moored above her shimmering liquid.
She sifts ingredients, spoons them in,
and her bracelets slice the air
with a thin marimba music, the kind
you might hear somewhere far off,
as you set your afternoon to the
loneliest bandwidth … She sips
a last spoon, douses the air,
shakes in grains, spice, the green
Formosan leaf … this woman who
calls us in, draws us in with her
skilful, aromatic finesse; who,
like an illusionist, knows what
she can and can’t gain from the
immeasurable edge … this woman
who works in heat that begs
illusion of her, distance of her;
who listens for whatever she can
amongst the soft resolutions
of her bracelets … She blows
now at the fine wisps of steam,
gently, as if she held her lips
to a man’s damp cheek, though
she consoles all of us, who’ve come,
drawn out by the need for tenderness.

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

Change

Having decided to change her life,
she slashes
welts of green
over her eyebrows.
She arrives at her house
to find the writers’ group of five
bent like fingers
over each other’s pages, laid out
on the lounge room coffee table.
There is her body
sitting with them
leaning into their words–
they don’t notice
her disembodied animation
in the doorway.
One tells her
she has asked a few new members
and points to the other side
of the room.
It has ballooned
into a public hall,
filled with duplications
of her dining table, surrounded
by bent backs,
cardiganed, striped, seamless,
with faceless heads and voices
reading from their writings,
louder and louder to overtake
each other. She decides not
to worry about her eyebrows,
and rushes from table to table,
saying: that image rises from the page,
saying: here, your character is coming to life—
do you see,
do you see?
She leaves her body’s imprint
at each table and stands
in the airy empty space
between the two half-rooms.
They are asking her questions
but have no time
for an answer. No-one
has noticed her eyebrows.

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

Yesterday’s Solution

ACROSS: 1 Teardrop, 7 lady, 8 Flamingo, 9 Unison, 10 Gyrate,
11 eye, 12 lease, 14 Yeast, 16 set, 18 bandit, 20 Option, 22 Apostles, 23
Ewer, 24 Asbestos. DOWN: 1 trainee, 2 Abyss, 3 Define, 4 Orange, 5, 15,
light showers, 6 Fierce, 13 Sadism, 15 see 5, 16 stylus, 17 tousle, 19 Apple,
21 Treat, 25 Burn, 26 Finish.

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

Precision German Craftsmanship

It was a good day and I was about to do something important
and good, but then I unscrewed the pen I was using
to see the ink. Precision German craftsmanship.
The Germans are so persnickety and precise,
they wash their driveways. Their mountains and streams
dance around each other in a clockwork, courtly imitation
of spring. They built the Panzer tank, out of rakes
hoses and garden gnomes; they built me.
And I’ve seated myself above an avenue on the brink
of mystery, always just on the lip, with my toes over the lip
but my bowels behind.

When I replaced the ink the sky was socked in,
only one window of blue open in the north, directly over someone.
But that person was reading about Rosicrucians in the laundromat,
he was unaware as the blue window closed above him.
The rest of us are limp and damp,
I see a button in front of us that says “spin cycle.”
I’m going to push it.

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

Revolving Restaurant

Today I found a photo
of them—
he’d taken mum for
a big night out
the only time ever. . .
except for the Chinese
‘slap up’
in Gosford
some Friday nights
and there they are
sitting at a table
in ‘The Summit’
Seidler’s modernist cylinder
spinning towards a beige and glass future
through Mondrian grids
with his Elvis sideburns
and gravy-stained polyester
(he’d forgotten to use the napkin)
cufflinks heavy on the table
mum in her hairspray
and blue eyeshadow
framing so much
hope
turning on itself
where Galileo may have uttered
“Eppur Si Muove”

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

Red

The day her boyfriend came home from gaol
She spilled out onto the quiet street
In a sheer red dress
Which showed her flattened breasts,
Her bones.
And the mad edge of her laughter
Held itself to the neighbour’s throats.

They wished she would go back inside—
Lie on her bed with a bottle of gin;
Sit, in a haze, on the lounge-room floor
Flicking her lighter at a pack of burning cards.

The street could not contain
The riot of her voice;
Her stumbling red shape;
Her bare white feet on their bitumen road.

They preferred the hysteria of her screams
Bouncing off inner walls
Of crushed and shattered plasterboard.
There a fist or two,
There the crater of a skull.
A whole panel gone
Where her pushed her body through.

Their ecstasy lasted a day or two.

Then, at night,
They howled in the yard
Like a pair of ill-matched cats
Tearing at cloth; at hair; at skin,
Drawing each other’s animal blood.

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

Acupuncturist; Under the Needles

He’s rather soulful, someone said

Half-undressed, your hands crossed on your chest,
you might be lying in state
but you are now the calmest of short deaths
in a room that’s calming,
rectilinear, worn smooth by New Age silence.
Even the acupuncturist who
looks like a well-tanned ballet dancer but cannot
move a word without a minute
passing, then a stutter on each syllable, is
therefore, mostly silent.

You’re nearly naked, stripped down to knickers
and T-shirt. He watches you
then actually says,Yes, and slowly his fingers
move your T-shirt down
discrete as sewing, for the needle he must touch
between your breasts,
and one lift of your knickers for another needle
just above your mons.
They are a stranger’s fingers, and they touch
like slow attentions.
More, perhaps, because his face is long, voluptuary
from troubled speaking
and you never know the body’s own seductions
surrendering, or wary,
(one more in both your wrists, then ankles) each
time he touches you and
says you must relax, and not wanting this ambiguous
more than soulful.

Silence. The sunlight moves across your face.
I listen to your breath
and try to feel you lying in this portrait.The needles
shine on your body
like the stars shiver on the limbs of constellations.
The body, and the silent
expanding universe … Years seem to be passing
in this room of elementary
pin-ups: the diagrams of Chinese men like pink
blow-up dolls.
The lines as virtual as an introvert’s tattoos.
Your nerves perform
the finest calisthenics and the tiny needles seem
the inverse of idea …

But who knows? Perhaps, above, below, you are
all the hexagrams
rising and falling, the whole I Ching may be
passing through you
like currents in a lake, the surfaces which hint
at all the abstracts
but are mirrors: the trees, birds, the universe of clouds,
a fisherman at sundown
like old souls … as this man watches you, and me, his face
handsome as a magazine
but so serious, so … (Is the soul our favourite pastiche?)

I think of an old man
lying prone in another room, in another context
altogether—as each image
jabs him, remembering so much of a world that’s gone
he can’t remember us
but calls out to the figures filling into him, says
the order of the years
all wrong, the slowest acupuncture undoing him, his soul
under moonlight, in the sun. . .
We might be in another room, when I am old, and these
nerves from my father
blinking off in me, and as the nurse reaches down
to me like needles
you waiting there, as I am now, in the corner
watching silently.

Later, you tell me how you felt without your usual
points of reference,
wanting to make the process work, knowing you had
opened up your past,
some grief, he said, and hoping he was touching you like
just another patient
even as he struggled for his words, and even as his watching
was lingering too long,
I thought of my father, so late and very close to dying
and the no-nonsense
nurse shouting: G’day Mr Salom! Now toss back
ya medicine! Whey!

And my mother flinching. And all the diagrams undone.

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

Disaster

for Dr Diane Lightfoot

Why is it so fascinating
watching disaster’s colonies
grow?

Some hang before the mouth
like clusters of grapes
others wriggle
like the tempting blips
of distant constellations.

Is the microscope honest?
Is the petrie dish safe?

Disaster can be
so gentle on the eye,
wondrously translucent
a swimming mystery
with delicate working
parts.

It’s not so easy
calling you names,
disaster.

Even when the lid
is lifted
on your putrid stink
you are generously
enlightening us
to the real world

its lurid lovely movie
Divide and Rule.

Posted in 05: UNTHEMED | Tagged

untitled for a number of times already

i sold a poem today
at the junction of plenty road and dunn street
where they used to sell age in the mornings to passing cars stopped
before the red light
or waited to collect coins to fill in barrels of charity
or wiped a few coins out of the unconcerned window screens
but i sold a poem today
believe it or not
to an australian
a bloody australian
who looked like a greek
spoke like an asian
smelt like a middle eastern
behaved like an adolescent
average man
who said:

pom? what ya mean, pom?

i shouted in his grey hair of y/ears:
i’m going broke and mad today
this is all i’ve got
a poem of pants
not punts
nor puns
that i had picked up in a garage sale
for a couple of bucks
that i had worn though thick and thin
in a lot of fucks
i’ll just give it to you
for a cent

(here it is
i have the cent
he’s got the po(e)m
i don’t know what to do with it
nor does he)

you understand?

Posted in 04: UNTHEMED | Tagged

The Lighthouse

The image of a lighthouse keeps recurring,
toylike with diamond patterns down its walls.
A harlequin in black and white that flashes
on and off and on and off: highlighting a thin
peninsular. Below it wooden houses
with verandahs overlooking sand
and more sand, inside living rooms
not confined by walls and lives
not defined by clocks, just the beam
at night that blinks awake calm
and blinks again on the illumination
of this—one second hung in the night.
An instant stripped clean, pure
in the sweep of light. Invisible in the day

Posted in 04: UNTHEMED | Tagged