Elegy at the waterfall

(for my father)


He spent his time
recovering from small injuries
bruises from poor eyesight
sore muscles from running late
cuts from bad decisions made in the dark
sleepwalking had lengthened his dreams
basting his feet in the shallows

the lake was still full and he knew it
every night he could hear
thunder in the waterfall after rain
the rush of fish swimming
straight into his empty boots

he kept lists of what he could
and couldn’t measure
the number of fish in the lake
versus the number that got away
all the dreams he’d had in a lifetime
and all the hooks that got tangled in the line
the time it took to mend a hole
versus the terrible feeling of time running out

every morning he would wake to a flood
and wonder where the water got in
if only he was awake to catch it rushing through
‘can you ever really tell it like you imagined it’?
he’d say, emptying the buckets
watching the water stream down the hill

that night the lake was wide as a field
brimming with fish and stars
the waterfall had all but dried up
three days without rain
dark rocks glistening in moonlight
‘ferns grow greener in cold air’ he said
his words vanishing like skipping stones
standing on the edge, he held his breath
waiting to dive in

Posted in 114: NO THEME 13 | Tagged

The City and the City

* with acknowledgments to The City and The City by China Miéville


there is the city and there is the city, two territories coinciding
with areas cross-hatched, others overlapping, available
to only one agent — apparently not viable, or so it seems

slide through here and be sure not to notice a thing;
eyes are looking, looking, not seeing, not recognising
that person over there — he’s also looking slantwise, avoiding

you and the string of individuals stretching along this side
of the street, though it appears there is no way to step along
without knocking into someone — but you see, I just did

not collide with any of the crowd which seems impenetrable,
so chocker-block squared off with not a split or cross-crack
anywhere, meaning that no space exists for me — and yet,

and yet, I must proceed, can’t stay still, can’t go backwards;
there is a crime to solve — or a crime to commit, doesn’t matter,
just don’t stop because stillness will disappear you, nothing left

to be known in one place or the other or the space between
where there are people, but not anyone you will want to see,
or anyone you will want to see you — just walk on, head slightly

averted, seeing double but unable to fuse the images, to make
a singular picture; it’s not that there are doppelgangers, not twins
who instinctively know each other — auras can be sensed, yes

and instantly they diffuse so that you are innocent of knowing
them, knowing they are manipulating a similar dissemblance
tightly contained — cross-hatched space of impossible touch

keep walking, don’t look, don’t see, don’t consider that there is
anything, anywhere that you should notice, because you can’t
live in two places at once — there is nothing over the fence

murder is not a crime; it’s a violation of being where one isn’t
wanted, taking up room and making it complicated, so erase
the body — fold the space into the interstice, it’s gone

until it edges back into view, where it always was, but wasn’t
evident until it awkwardly spanned two cities, forced awareness
not wanted — then one must step between here and there

in the spatial and temporal shift which can’t be kenned
a shimmer in perception; a momentary hiccup in the phasing
of minutes and degrees — be careful when and where you go

don’t look, there is nothing to see here, don’t look, but it’s too late
the breach has occurred and must be quickly repaired
collaboration is required — collusion will be acceptable if not

formally acknowledged, though those who know, know well
it must be so and move down the streets, across the alleys
insisting on seeing nothing — knowing it’s mindful mirage

maybe in the in-between, someone may find a knife-edge, not
division, somewhere that is nowhere, walk on the edge,
visible but insubstantial — unable to be taken or held

seeing yet unseeing isn’t natural, it must be learnt
much more than a trick of the eyes though there is that
tension — the sense of something in the periphery, unclear

ambiguous and ambivalent, the mind generating equivocal
messages where only one truth must be relentlessly believed
but if both can be balanced — well, anything is possible

a crime can be committed and a crime can be solved
it may be murder either way, but stay on that infinitely narrow
line and you will get away with it — but you will be always

in that nowhere place where nobody can see you, nobody will
want to see you, nobody will ever speak to you, or touch you
you might as well be dead — you’ll beat the rap, so what

the body will be there, in that no-space which no-one
will enter because they dare not see what might not be there
so to speak — no-one will know is it the victim or is it you

Posted in 114: NO THEME 13 | Tagged

Stench

I drink a beer to
loosen up. Every muscle
clenches under weight, and
shame rushes in wearing its
stupid little hat. I love you
with every personality:
slime girl, screamed spinach,
even trophy goblin.
I make a promise to a stench
of truth. We do a choke
dance, I write poems
about your eyes. The cramps
are caused by care.

What’s that smell?
Kissy slime, fire on the
shoulders, clench
in the chest, I want
to go into Target and piss
all over the stuffed animals
and then punch myself
in the teeth. A man?
Now? You cannot imagine
the groan, the heart skip dream,
the Carebear-sized hemorrhoid.

I will turn this wince into a scream.
The only thing more humiliating
than having a feeling is wanting something.
I allow nothing. I stare
at you. I twirl my hair.
I regret my stupid, hungry heart.

Posted in 114: NO THEME 13 | Tagged

Presence of importance

After Todd Hido’s window photos


That window here is like
Todd Hido’s always subject matter. Its light
is company. Light brings space to be peopled;
they are dotted on the park, brightness condense,
sun’s last, and strongest felt, and we are throwing
the giant foam plane – me, brother, sister, sister’s
partner, dad, a dog we’re watching. Todd Hido’s windows
show the his-before. I become my before, I throw the
foam plane, I decide to live there momentarily.

The curtain in the window is smoothed but is
so distinctly hanging – presence acknowledged by faux-
absence. Windows are encodable mysteries.
I revisit places with the brighter surfaces via
Hido-contextualised frames, his jewel-ish quads
on dark rooms.

Their frost stems, their wet tones, the feelness in their air
is a triviality.
I think I know something of the apartment back there with their light on.
Kindred memory, the window some past intermediary.

Posted in 114: NO THEME 13 | Tagged

I rage about you, you old ghost

Make me
dim-witted. One
of those days where
I can’t bare it—the hum
of madness. My belly wreaking
havoc up and down my spine,
intestines in a knot.
Garlic! Disgusting! or maybe
you called it gross & I called it
get me out of here.

A different morning: I’m spinning
sex between my fingers.
Cavorting with an old pillow
case hoping you’ll come along
and lift my top.

As a kid I would peel the skin
off of grapes with my two front teeth
and gently push the innards
into my cheek with my tongue
keeping it safe before coming
down on it with a hard chew. Pulpy
swallow & the great disappointment:
here was a truly valuable soft thing
that I had worked hard for
& didn’t know what to do with.

Posted in 114: NO THEME 13 | Tagged

Poem in winter

The woods and all within;
in a dream, I saw my father there.
We remembered our embrace.
I thanked him for the bookshelves.
His face lit up: no verse is antique,
and I think you’re a student as deft
as many among the dear friends
we have known. But don’t worry so
that a ray of light here is
an eternal chute. Then, as he left, this:
why ask, where are they now?
They walk on old terrain they miss.
What angle is a flight or fall?
In snow their woes are mute.

Posted in 114: NO THEME 13 | Tagged

Big picture

Headline is: world caves in on itself
Again — again — again
(And probably once more)

An exhausted ache with a staccato pulse
Passed back and forth with a weary smirk
Sweet as thick sweat spilling in torrents
and a buckling pain that brings you to earth

I’m going to the boundless love store
Does anybody want anything

Terrible things happen in absurdly cruel unison
The elusive moments of joy and relief feel impossible and
frankly insane when they trickle in
a finger hole chiselled crudely in the concrete sky

Everything for everyone all of the time
What else could there possibly be
How much plainer could you say it
Why else bother

Every horror spilling into every other horror
Every night the exact same nightmare
The world still spinning as if it makes any sense

Every city in the country
rich with minigolf courses that are also cocktail bars
and nowhere anyone can afford to rent
The phrase cost of living

Chloe said something or other once
About it just being one bloody thing after another
All the way to the end

Not a year to prove her wrong yet

Kiss me like the world is ending
(just in case it is)

Kiss me like the world is ending
(just in case it isn’t)

Posted in 114: NO THEME 13 | Tagged

THE CUMULOUS WEIGHT OF JULIUS COIN

The reign of Caesar, written in the sky:
henceforth the gods and goddesses will die.
It is 44BC. From now on
the cumulous weight of Julius coin.
Gold, silver, bronze, orichalcum, copper;
his portrait — not the gods’ – show our Empire.
All will know his name. Precipitation;
sunshine. Denarii; assassination.

Posted in 114: NO THEME 13 | Tagged

The texture, the surface

(after Dreams by Linda Pastan)

It begins with a black pencil
rubbed firmly onto light paper
over the fascia of a coin

It starts this way, creating
a new image out of the everyday
but then you think this might be a way

To capture the surface of things
this is how it begins, the surroundings
re-visioned as if a child

Then unintentionally you revisit the house
a fragment of clothing, that old lace doily
that might have been your mother’s

The lampshade, rub hard on it
capture its surface on tissue, then move
to knife, fork, scissors, cheese grater, teapot, curtains

The uneven glass in the doorway
that once led outside
rub over the circular ridges of the doormat

And the eucalyptus leaves that lie over it
then with charcoal on paper, scrape the tree trunk
move on to the acacias, that elsewhere are called mimosas

Rub salvia, veronica and the plant
whose silver leaves have a name you often forget
then edge toward the pine needles

The sand beneath them and your feet on the track
let them lead to where the waves lap
to the irregularity of rockpools

That encompass creatures at the edge of the tide
the various seasnails and seaweed—olive-green thin
and curved, or linguini-like—wide brown and flat

Rub the crystalline white shape
that might or might not be a plant
as if an ancient stromatolite neither flora nor rock

Trace over sand with white pastel onto thin black paper
or blend light with white to nothingness
like the children we used to be

While the ones we’ve grown into
make a rubbing of the ocean, the see-through jellyfish
the dolphins whose presence stir the waves

Rub the clouds, the sky
its unnameable
unreachable galaxies

Capture the texture
the surface of the moment
before it recedes—it always recedes.

Posted in 114: NO THEME 13 | Tagged

Un-Austrayan

They come to a land Down Under – hastily marry in polyester gowns, top up university coffers, or cruise to a Pacific paradise where every day is Christmas. Whatever the journey, ‘we will decide who comes to this country & the circumstances in which they come.’ Touch down means assimilation. Sunday is fun day for arvo footy, downing schooners, cutting waves at Bondi. But ‘where the bloody hell are you?’ You’re west of the red & yellow flags cloistered in mosaic domes chanting gobbledy-gook in sinister frocks whispering in secret tongues. That’s just not cricket – everyone’s equal here. The Indigenous Voice is a case in point – a singing show to Close the Gap between black & white singers, a panel of glib judges to feign support. We voted. The show never aired because ‘we treat them the same as everyone else, couldn’t be fairer.’ Our nation is a multicultural palette of colour; a hotpot of rice, spice & everything nice. And we’re definitely not racist – our cleaners are Asian & we gollop baba ghanoush.
Posted in 114: NO THEME 13 | Tagged

John Berryman

You,
passed over
by acquittal
and absolution
of time,
everything listing
but this:
the sublime articulation
of your longing.

With little or no
chance of happiness,
you sing,
heart a severed wing
or strangled
underling.

You are always drunk
on despair as pure
as night.
You walk in air,
fall through
daylight.

Posted in 114: NO THEME 13 | Tagged

Mother’s Milk

i.

It started as many good things do, with
a pan, some butter, onion and garlic.
Then somewhere there, a transubstantiation.
Eyes misty, onion’s revenge. Hours and
salt passed. I realise I don’t recall

when I learned to chop an onion.
A blur, of kitchen steam, as I waft
in mother’s shadow. Absorbing knowledge,
nutrients, guilt—my body should be wafer
shaped and my blood somehow pristine.

Now, my own shadow is empty. Like my belly.

ii.

I am a flat earther of motherhood, the line of
my genetic horizon, precipitous. Somewhere
in the windowed distance, chance recedes like
the Honeyeaters. A winged cloud above the city,
en route to sweeter climes. A warmth that feels

a fiction. A postcard, read under a different zone
of the sun. I stand, coffee cradled, at the sink edge
of our imagined children—the Jewish-line, cut
by my Pagan womb. What would the grand matriarch
of your family make of me. She who escaped

gas to live on. I’m awkward at Friday dinners,
the kiddush a stutter in my wool lined mouth.
The sticky wine helps, the challah another familiar
anchor on the tongue. The bustle of plates
and over-catered courses too. Many of Gran’s

dishes still gift her family life. Your stubborn brow,
arrow headed conviction, another living portrait.
I suspect this would flow through, if, we…
The pitter-patter of our what-ifs, foreign still
like the rhythm of glottal punctuated prayer.

I’ll ask for her recipes soon, make them here.

iii.

I marvel that I once was pressed daily,
hourly to your skin. Several teeth in my
now crowded gums, were once the milk
I blindly sought. You fed me, gave of your
bones freely without knowing who I would be.

The same breasts that poured life into
all our veins, twice tried to rob yours
away. Your own mother suffered
the same fate, only she didn’t get that
second chance. Another foreign matriarch

I had to meet through the folds of
memory. Darned into mended socks,
served with dowry cutlery. I have the
same hips—did not inherit the maternal
chest though. Junior burger to their Big

Mac, my sisters would tease. A sting
not dissimilar to my teen mosquito bites.
Today, though, it makes sense as I watch
them rear their own daughters. Feed them
in a way I cannot. My body isn’t a bottle

but it is a ladle. I keep these women alive.

Posted in 114: NO THEME 13 | Tagged

Bestiary Set at the Live Drawing Session

It falls from the sky, this innocence, this unfinished lifework I didn’t know I needed in my life. It falls onto the table, falls into my sketchpad, sculpted torso dreaming of its own ekphrasis, a fragment completing itself: perfect shoulders, perfect legs, perfect trail of hair along a perfect chest that glows from within like a hurricane lamp and then, too, the addition of the placid penis, relishing its own flesh, cushioned sacs engorged with seeds of love. Is it love? Once, I played a lamb in a nativity play and the angel had a crown of gold straw. Now, what stands before me is a puma. Or at least that is what I see when I stare into his eyes and he stares back at me. He is not what I see but what I am. What I draw, I become. All his poses seem to say: Even when things don’t work out, they work out but only as long as you don’t give up, as long as you don’t stop sketching me, just as the body must succumb to its own illusion, from moment to moment, the self imagining self, somehow residing between ears and behind eyes. I see in his face a lion but also, in the gentle cascade of his limbs, a gazelle. Then it falls from the ceiling, the zandolie – as small as a teardrop, and I take a piece of paper and scoop it up and carry it out the front door. Here, there is no angle from which you are not seen. You must not give up.

Posted in 114: NO THEME 13 | Tagged

The 426

Stumbling, she rights herself using the tap and pay reader,
and without paying, crawls into a seat near the exit,
exposing urine-soaked jeans wet in a V-shape from tail
to hamstring. Hair clumped, sweatshirt frayed,
for several stops she’s hibernating, eyes closed, nodding.

Then she animates, magics white wine from a shopping bag
and snaps open the lid – drinking with her head thrown back;
a heron swallowing fish. Now, she’s chatty,
accusing Chinese tourists in the priority seats of imagined
slights, cursing an absent father. The sun-glassed driver

observes from a mirror, while those around me –
the tourists, the uni students, the market shoppers –
are resolute in their avoidance, heads locked to windows,
books or phone, so that when she starts hitting
them up for fifteen dollars for a refuge, she is shunned.

When it gets to my turn – You, she says – I don’t look away
because she is my age. My age. Oh god my age
and too old. Too old for blacked-out rape and broken jaws.
Too old for emergency wards. Our eyes fix, and I notice hers
are hazel: You might help me. Will you help me? she says

so gently, it’s almost tender. Yes. I will. Yet as I search my bag
I don’t know if I can because who of us still holds anything
as tangible as cash? She’s gone before I get a chance
to fail her – free-hand gripping the exit-rail,
one thong-covered toe testing the honesty of the pavement.

Posted in 114: NO THEME 13 | Tagged

Oak Trees and Gum Trees

modest conversations with
interruptions
static
broken sentences
and silence

I ask her to read to me
100 poems
by 100 poets
she does
while tying crystals to my ankles

I sink

like a ghostly shipwreck
settled on the ocean floor

slowly running out of breath

she lies with me
amongst the shells, Bream jaw bones and coral

similar but
different
oak trees and ghost gums
northeast and southeast

Posted in 114: NO THEME 13 | Tagged

MV Sygna

I can’t tell you
how the storm raged
along the coast,
the year before I was born.

Tides in concert with celestial bodies aligned,
syzygy and perigee—         
the moon in her kissed
dance with Earth.

I can’t tell you how
my mother, pregnant with me
bailed night water
from the second floor window

of the red brick units in front of ours,
or how she gagged behind a sandbag         
as the water threatened to pull
it all in.

How the bloodless sun
rose in the empty sky
and my mother walked miles of splinted wood;
the famous harbour pool threshed

along the beach. How, like a broken
line of teeth, the remaining pieces         
held in sea. How the boardwalk reached
for brokenness, penning equations of its former self.

Two hours north came the call:
ships were to move
out from the battering coast
but the Norwegian carrier remained,

cyclonic winds pounding waves, pushing
its 53,000 tonnes across the bight,         
before finally dragging floor
off Stockton beach, its spine cleaved.

All the while I rolled in my mother’s stomach.

I was unexpected, she said
unwanted—by my father.
She was sick, convinced
sickness would take me:

the baby’s room remained unpainted
no cot in place, toys and clothes         
still wrapped; ribbons

yet to be undone.
As if the storm that unpicked the pier
undid her,
the black water she bailed
a sign.

Posted in 114: NO THEME 13 | Tagged

watch you until i’m perfect in my wanting / hot tboy summer

i. how do you want to see me?
with my head to one side or laughing or with my eyes closed or gasping
i wish i looked like that guy in that movie. i say this religiously
nothing pierces more in me than that want to tilt my head
and have it look like when he does
chin scar. i have something similar from a scooter crash as a kid
you can see it in the right light when i lick my skin and pull my lips tight
i want to move so fluid like water over you.
think of his hand on my lower back. not him
but a dream of him. pull me out of my december dreaming. cut my hair. nothing changes
this deep ocean aching is so harsh and cracks my skin

ii. we were so fucked up
on the glow stick necklace he had me fasten for him
and the way i touched the back of his neck where it met his hair
as if i’d known him before now
before the mosquitoes found their way inside
and january yawned into darkness. i cut my shorts and put
mascara above my lip to feel more man, and somehow it worked
i can’t forget that tug on my shirt, stubble.
no bitter taste. only warm and wet
i want to dance with somebody in my head all night
like a moth beating against the glass door to be let in

iii. something sulking about late summer
like a body slipping over river rocks
i wish i was a harmonica, a pleasant whining, a cherished hum
feel me pressed against your mouth like the unhampered
heartbeat of the west, like the sun sliding across the desert,
like a tongue. it seems as though february is always
begging me for something rich and heavy
pockets full of smooth stones
to be stripped of his t-shirt and flung off something high over water
a momentary cotton angel lit by the sky
such a bright blue, he feels
stark in comparison. i am
never going to be anything as sainted
so i just watch you
until i’m perfect in my wanting

Posted in 114: NO THEME 13 | Tagged

Corpus

A life’s work left behind;
remains preserved
(even if in progress),
to be considered as a whole.
Usually already public,
but sometimes not.

Legacy, canon, ouvre,
as brief as single book,
or daunting as many.
Not to be confused
with “papers” or archives.

Corporal punishment,
i.e. damaging the corpus,
physically or critically.
Book burning? Censorship?
Cultural agendas? Defamation?

Sir Philip Sydney defined
poetry as “that which
we will not willingly let die,”
He incorporates humanity,
despite our fears of evolution/devolution,
and Tennyson’s “anxiety of language.”

Corpse, carcass, or cadaver,
we call the dead ones.
Ashes if cremains.
Or mummy if preserved;
or cryogenics’ frozen sleeper;
or zombie, if still walking.

Aesthetes fight the tyrannies
of hunger, pain and lust. Hedonists
and epicures glorify life’s touch,
seizing their days, while addicts
crave chemical states.

Carnival or Lent? Fast or feast?
Corpulent or lean?
Celibate or celebrate?
Bonfire of the vanities?

Poet Thomas Lux,
suffering from cancer,
wrote a parting litany
like Good Night, Moon’s:
“ … let us praise the joy-bringer
for these seven things: 1) right lung,
2) left lung, 3) heart, 4) left brain,
5) right brain, 6) tongue,
7) the body to put them in.
Thank you, joy-bringer!”

Our body’s worth
about a dollar for elements.
However, half a million
for organs freshly harvested.

Donated to science,
it serves to keep on giving.

For the familiar allegory
of body politic, see Coriolanus:
“all the body’s members”
rebelled “against the belly.”

Heroes show battle scars.
Would-be saints mortify flesh.
Self-lash, wear hair shirts
and sleep in coffins.

Others dream of heaven,
where each soul is dressed
again in youthful best.

Or of re-incarnation
up and down great being’s chain.

“My body to you,” says
both lover and writer,
person and works;
embodied and dis-,
fleshed out and transmogrified.

Posted in 114: NO THEME 13 | Tagged

Boy smell (deep in your lungs)

Boy smell
is a ten cent coin
preserved in kauri gum.

Metallic,
like a drop of
blood on your tongue.

Organic,
like the give of
rotten conifer bark underfoot.

Sweat,
like bush honey,
oozing from his pores.

Boy smell
is a bare chest
splayed across your bottom sheet
the morning after

his last shower.

An armpit-shadow
on your pillow,
fine hair laced
with microfibre.
Hot like a spurt of sparks
when rust meets an angle grinder.

Boy smell
is a pheromonic frequency.
A throbbing

bass string. A Syrah-
stained finger, carving
stale soundwaves.

It’s condensation dribble,
‘how’s the head?’,
and
‘I’ll just crack a window’

as firework-phosphorus
and morning afterglow
purls in your throat.

Boy smell
is a blue poppy,
blooming from the crest
of yesterday’s sweats;

with yellow stamen
crusted in pollen,
and green bulb
ripe to milk.

Boy smell
is an opium cloud
lulling you back to his den

where lips purse
about the end of a pipe,
and long – only –

to feel him
deep in your lungs
again.

Posted in 114: NO THEME 13 | Tagged

Charades

At Puna Reo pick up
a tama beams towards me
breastfeeding on the whāriki
tells me with his chest
Nanny is picking him up soon
he says Nanny is his best friend

*

I drive across town to the Chip Shop
with the best Chinese food
listen to a podcast, call it ‘me time’
Grannies pound the pavement powering
small babies to sleep against the glowing sky

*

At swimming lessons each week
her Mum cheers her on
dries off her big girl and rocks the newborn
we splash splash our hands
kick kick kick our feet
Nana breaks the rules, filming it from her iPad

*

Some Mama’s are up in the gym
at vineyards with the girlies
at festivals and OTP hard
they are at the kaupapa, mahi trips
in Fiji with hubby even
Don’t stop — gram it all hon
take us all along

*

Our whānau from the opposite end of the fish
ask me when I’ll stop breastfeeding
If I’ll ever let my daughter
sleepover for the night
I say one day, that will be great
I do meant it, I hope and I hope

*

My kōtiro and I are watching Bluey
the kids are with Bandit’s Mum
playing charades & eating ice blocks
in her Gold Coast seaview apartment
we laugh at twirling tutu’s
little fights between cousins
we dance along to the tune
the credits stop rolling
she holds my face in her small hands and says
Nana?

Posted in 114: NO THEME 13 | Tagged

PUERTO PRINCESA

We cruised down the river at night.
The safety neon vest tightened around our chests.
We were in search of light deep in the waterway
thickened with the roots of mangroves

long unmoved by river’s flow. There was no
waste to this visit, the journey over distance.
Then there it was: the singular song,
out of the weave of dark and branches,

the hologram of light and leaves.
It was a sight easily mimicked in
the cities, in season of commerce
and joy. To be in the presence of fleeting

gold, in pursuit of love among fireflies,
creatures familiar with the wisdom of
flimsy wings that beat themselves
to dust, that lights up at the first

instance of loss. We paddled away from
that galaxy, our efforts drowned by a
hurtling motorboat pressed on
by the sudden, jarring click of a phone,

posting to share with an eager world
where we are, this realm of ethereal glow,
a marvel of wings into the night.

Posted in 114: NO THEME 13 | Tagged

Moana Pōetics

We build a safe around our birth stones
crafted from a dream, a gourd, a drum–made
chant.

Pile it high with frigate bird bones,
song bones, bones of
cherished names.

We rub sinnet along our thighs and lash our
cache. Our spent stories sound, where words
and names and songs are not forgotten.

One day before, now, or beyond, something
with a heart drops a hank of its flesh before
us. It sounds like a drum and we know —

it’s time
to undo the rope, iron-rock and bone-sand.
The stories, they tell us

that if we are the dark blue seas then we are
also the pillowed nights and days, soft with
clouds spread half-open.

We are a tidal collection, hind-waters of the
forever we rally on, to break the staple
metaphors from the fringes.

Safe.
We sound together on a dance or
bark an intricate rhyme.

We, the filaments of a devoted rope. We, who
contain a continuance and call it

poetry.

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Were is a Word that Floats on Water

I.

A sadness happened in the middle of the ocean
And I came to be
of fish bones,
shell,
glass.
at the bottom of things,

I made a home in love
and it was huge, like a sad galleon.

If I dive from the prow,
I will see you,
Centered among the seaweed
Shaped like the sun?

II.

Why do I feel safe in parentheses?

(As if sadness were a place in the body.
That is something to think about.

I had always feared that wound on Jesus’s side.
Water had come out of it.)

III.

(The enemies are not on the borders, love.
They are within.)

I remember a story of a Japanese soldier
Who lived thirty years on an island off our coast.
He didn’t realize the war was over,
And stole manioc and the smooth heads of coconuts
while brandishing his rusty sword at puzzled onlookers.

Some dreams are best not to wake up from.

IV.

There are many things we say in a singsong voice.
Up, down, briskly, quickly, over hot coals,
Running away from the sound of it.

Who is faster, you or sound?

Hear the rumbling of the thunder before the shock.
But the shock lasts.

V.

That night, I made a metaphor out of you.
I remembered you sprawled like a star.

And if you were not beautiful even then:
Hair limp along with the rest of you,
Heavy and damp with sleep,
Pillows have risen like the Great Wall of China
Between us, as we twitched,
You became beautiful in the blurry soft down of my memory.
(Things fall softly there)
So, you fell softly there, sprawled like a star.

I should’ve listened to Kundera. Now you are dangerous.
All five points of you sharp now,
Rolling in the growing space of my desire.
You, growing like a lump in my throat, block all sound,
shaped like a star.

(The enemies are within)

VI.

You woke up and raised yourself on your elbows.
And found me sleeping on the other side
And you wondered, “Who built the wall?”

I woke up and found your body pressed
Against the wall, I whispered, “Did you do this?”

VII.

She and I danced on the streets,
Dancing to anything that came on.

She danced the way she stuttered when she was nervous,
Hands in front of her, gesturing forward and forward again
As if she had something important to say.
She didn’t have to say anything.

We danced close, my face near her nape.
I laughed and backed away because her friends were watching.

Funny, we always had to think about that.

VIII.

Why does water always come?

When God parted the Red Sea, he saved many,
And when the water fell back,
He killed just as many.

And what about The Flood?

Show me the passage in the Bible that says we are condemned.

(It is here. I can’t seem to find it right now.)

IX.

‘We are tied to the ocean,’ said President John F. Kennedy during a speech at Rhode
Island in 1962, ‘and when we go back to sea, we are going back from whence we came.’
He might have meant the human race; he might have meant his family. From “Why
Kennedy Crashed” by Ed Vulliamy

Water and angels do not mix.

They found his body a hundred feet down
Under the fuselage, hers, too.
Her arms were suspended in front of her
As if in the middle of a dance.

Were is a word that floats on water.

X.

Every day, I come here to the fifteenth-floor
To look at the ocean and see how walls can grow,
rock after huge rock, dividing sea from sea.

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I remember the rain and the sky

I remember the rain and the sky

On the island

The birds never let us

Get close enough to see them

I tried to write the names of all

The rocks and the trees

In the trees are all kinds of signs

When they speak you can see

Through the windows of their mouths

Before you fly up to the sun

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