(after) HER: dating app adventures

By | 15 September 2017

how do you say
how you doin??
without evoking Joey from Friends?

I’m only here because I want
to find a girl to ask
wanna Netflix and chill?

I filter out
the over 40
broken embrace
that was

swiping through
so many:
nose rings
(the new lesbian signifier?)
pics of you and your Burmese kitten
(how original)
tit pics
long-haired lesbians
(maybe The L Word was realistic after all)

Lucy liked you!
hit the ♥ to start a conversation

how do you say
to the 20 year old
I prefer older women

I’m looking
for a straight-up lesbian
to raise my puppies with
r u down 2 clown m8?

I’m not surprised to find
none of these girls are you

you’re like a movie usher dude
but more stylish 😉

how do you take a compliment
when the last compliment was
you are good and tender and kind
and I don’t want you

how do you say
I mate for life
in text speak?

is it wrong to click ♥
because I think your Burmese is cute

a sparky sparks up a conversation
didn’t you say
you wanted
to date someone good with their hands?
I was good with my hands once

I’m one of those people
who’s like
arts degrees
what’s the point?

laugh out loud
and back away quietly
you have someone else to be

how do you say
I had two hearts once
how do you say
I only came here to forget

what happens when the girl says
I’m looking for that special someone
and some unburied feeling
ruptures you

I am not looking for that special someone
I am not looking for that
I am not looking.

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