Seasonal Feminists

(to Jin Eun-Young)

In spring, we planned our futures
Yes to a thousand stars cradling
the canopy, the hope
of power in multitudes.

In summer, the fragrant drift
Yes to lovers and the early climb
across glass peaks, unwalled
and believing all was possible.

In fall, the soft earned shade.
Compromise calibrates the answer,
watch our friends channelling
Yes to their child’s own ascent.

In winter, sisters now established
rely on routes once refused.
Yet still the poet’s eye persists:
No in oddly solitude.

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Perfect Timing

The work of the cloud is lonely and continuous.
The rider from Brazil unable to find
other work during lockdown. Whose
bike and capacity to ride remained unchecked,
lucky to leave with just a broken arm.
In such jocund company, what little thought to gaze.
The worker from Malaysia holding
someone else’s food when a car side-swiped
his scooter. For two and a half days,
he remained ‘yet to be identified.’
A platform host, the breezy, never-ending lines.
The driver who hit a woman finishing
her own fast-food job, who went on to
complete his delivery, and received $16.75.
Released on bail he went on to make a thousand more
deliveries that year.1
The flash upon the inward eye, a-flutter in the jig.
The rider hit by a truck as two orders appeared
on his app during the Saturday evening spike.
Deemed outside the twenty-minute delivery
window, his death left his family without
means to repatriate his body home.
When all at once, I saw a crowd whose golden coffers fill.
The worker from China who sent his salary
back to his wife and two children in their small
village. Ineligible, inevitably for workers’ comp.
What wealth the technology to me had brought.
The gig worker is thirteen times
more likely to present to emergency
than other cyclists. Thirteen ways
of looking at this economy, fifteen
food delivery deaths in Australia.
The manager stated that she was unaware
of the legal obligation to report a rider’s death.
But I know better now what companies keep,
and what account they should be made to make.
For oft, there comes to me a sight
of cyclists flying towards green light.


i.m. Bojoy Paul
Chow Khai Shien
Burak Dogan
Akshay Deepah Doultani
Dede Fredy
Xiaojun Chen
Adil Abbas

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In the Wasteland of Other Languages

In my heart nothing was left.

Not even the ruins of a future wiped out by the cruel, modern world.

No flying ridge, mountain shade, not even that dust speck that hurt my eye is hanging.
They’re gone.
A vision of the future, the results of my supernatural powers spread out by my heart!

Only the few leaves of young monocots stand at the wasteland’s edge
as if for the first time.


They don’t look the way they did when they were waiting for something.
There, again, because
they can’t forget the earth’s morning light
that shone on their past-lives now vanished,
just like that time, in my eye-catching mind,
they’re shaking together.

In that place, they make an impossible future into a distant past
and the past into a future that won’t come.
Each of your short times together
are still muttering uselessly in your dead mouths
and are vanishing into the other sides of times
which have all become the past.

A small wind blows from my hand.

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In a Nutshell

The shape of a son hidden in the tablecloth green.
The cherries were painted, smiled as the dish
was stirred with the spoon that occasionally
doubled as a knife. You had a ready mouth
for ripeness. She taught you that scenery matters,
for where else can sorrow be stored?
A mother’s message is in the gloss, two tight
braids, the nod of equivalence, scant wrappings.
You cupped your dress for acorns, crossed the lawn
to feed your hunger. Secret transactions rustling
under the eaves, the poem’s belly hinting at
extremes. Green in nature is one thing,
green in literature another.
A daughter in hand
is worth two in the bush. When taste is not
a division of labour, it becomes love of the light.
The magic square revealed to be, after all, a circle.
You lick your fingers, kitchen days on check.

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Sea

Now I’m off to the beach for a walk.
The sea our fathers didn’t know, can you go there?
Now I’m off to the beach of the nothing sea.

I crossed the road, and passed a kindergarten and street trees,
a clustered fish market, a sawmill, and a used bookstore.
Now I’m crossing a four-lane crosswalk and the road of wickedness.
I leave Dancheong pavilion carrying a beach umbrella
and go beyond the wasteland to the shore where beach roses bloom.

From beyond that sand field, the sea with the morning sun behind its back
is also taking a walk in my direction. Standing up waves before the wind,
we’re determined not to make a move even if we run into each other.
We won’t mix words or date.

The sea isn’t yet in sight.
It looks like the sea doesn’t want to be seen.
To be honest, I still haven’t seen the Earth’s seas.
Only my eyes have seen the sea, not me.
And the seas haven’t seen me.
So we are looking for a path where we don’t meet.

The sea shimmering a ray of gold.
The morning ocean rises closer, a morning where what can be seen is seen.
How do we go from here? Please teach me the way.
I don’t want to open my eyes. I still don’t want to wake.

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Following One Child

The path that blows here from only the north wind of winter, a child walks like a blanket.

Fishy and bitter.
My poems are again subjected to insult.

Night God, that naked dad is a boy again and that naked mother is a girl again.

A day in hell spent wandering crumbled walls, apartments drilled with holes, schools with roofs flown away, and broken bridges. Meeting each other’s eyes, we in the wilderness, can we start a fire and sit around it?
A child’s shadow in the darkness is flapping in this world’s centre, trying to vanish.
In this moment, do we also need morals and creeds, treatises and conscience? Tomorrow will arrive brightly. Will there be any prayers left for humanity?
In the place where children’s souls sway, will there be any fruit left?

In that distant place, will poems continue to be written?

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The Edge of Nature and Death from Natural Causes

The sowing is over.

In someone’s garden. In someone’s furrow. Someone holding a hoe. Someone’s kidney. Someone’s blood cell.

Plod ploddingly. Why did you come? To someone’s land. Humming any song. Chinese lantern plants and intestines. Eggs and corneas. Gallbladders and dried livers.

What will grow? We wait.

We hide in someone’s straw. Why did you come? Why did you come? Through someone’s tight spot. Look, look. Hot air hums. The dirt is psyched. It’s buzzing.

In the liver are raw liver and dried liver. The dried liver has sacred breath. It’s called Ihiyotl. A species introduced from across the sea.1

In the intestines are large and small intestines. The big intestines are said to be life infested. Are said to be twisted.2

Why are you here? Why are you here? I don’t know how to feel.

Why did you come? Why did you come? My memory is filled with vitality.

We are nostalgic.

We become a spirit to guard a house. In someone else’s lot. Heart beats. Life becomes a transplant.

The soul propagated. Feeling like we can do nothing but take root.

We beat. We got used to it.

We felt sluggish. Under someone else’s shadow. Inside someone else’s food. To enjoy others’ freedom. To be fascinated with someone else’s oblivion. To be seriously scared. Expressionless.

Into intense expressionless we. We are going to sprout. You have to be completely immersed.

We were distant from our origins.

Before origins. We could wait.

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After reading Ko Hyeong-ryeol’s ‘I am not in Erdene Zuu Monastery’

If every thought has its own melody
and some melodies land flat, bouncing back onto the earth,
while others launch a little way into the air
and linger just slightly beyond us,

thoughts expressed in words, even if addressed
only to yourself, most often crumble back
into the soil that fed us

but sometimes even one like those, heavily
etched out in syllables, escapes
the pull of our bodies

and orbits a village or a house, some small
part of the planet, for a short while
indifferent to our survival.

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Apprenticeship

You had to go far
inside the eye of a grasshopper,
under tilting polar ice packs,
under the taut shoulders of women
rushing home, slinging a satchel
of rice and vegetables into their haste,
and then go further slipping
between the electric wires that snake
their way through the frames of houses,
under the composite skin
of old photographs —

all this to see
the smallest fragment
of who you are.

But this is barely a beginning.

How do you put a fish into a poem?
Not the label ‘fish’, the mere name,
for that would solve nothing
and a bundle of names can’t swim
in even the shallowest water —
but a fish swimming fast,
we can’t grasp it even with our hands.

Yet in a poem the water
swims even faster than the fish
and we glide, almost effortless, through the water
as through doors leading far inside us.

And if I place a jellyfish, the Turritopsis dohrnii for instance,
inside my poem
what happens then?
Will my room glow
so brightly I will be unable to leave,
shedding my worn-out skin
to stay in its company?

When at last you float on your side
and between the slats of the sauna
the sky slips away
you don’t scream at the void
for robbing you of daylight —
even the smallest grassblades know
they cannot shrink their way
into timelessness.

A long way further than us a fig tree
reaches out,
its green-brown mountainscape of roots
so joyful to climb
for a young grasshopper.

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Multiply

The experience centre was big. A warehouse.

We swept the dust.

We looked through the inventory.

What should we do?

Try to climb up someone’s Jangdokdae (sauce pot platform), take a sip of someone’s fresh water, and get drunk on someone’s mirage…

Sounds like fun.

Try to take someone’s rice out of someone’s rice bin and chew it, try to swallow someone’s spit…

Sounds scary.

Try hiding in someone’s closet, trying on someone’s robe, try to give off someone’s smell, try to cry out someone’s groan…

We are forced into a corner.

Rummaging through expired goods. We were two with one use. Entered the 1+1 experience.

Throbbing. The wave of experience.

Sticky. The flowing experience secretions.

It’s sobering. Is this the consciousness of a sub brand?

We really hit it off. It was exciting. Switch partners. Shall we fight for supremacy? Switch sexes? Become a hermaphrodite? Just once more. Try to smoke someone’s charcoal. Just once more. Try to lose someone’s mind. Shall we try to mix body fluids and reproduce? Shall we try to experience separation through telepathy?

The goods exchanging. The echo of experience spread.

Bribes getting accepted. The dust of experience kicked up.

Junk being scrapped. Collect the remnants of experience. Entered the 1×1 experience.

Electricity flowed.

The gifts, trembling. Were convulsions of experience.

We were shocked.

It was thrilling. Us, through nerves of steel. Shine light. We’re exotic. The lights of the experience centre lit up.

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Five Companions

1. Small spider

Next to the strawberries I am cutting on the kitchen counter
you step out
intent on exploring the world.
Gladly I leave you
your portion of the visible field
and the privacy of your millennial appetites.
                 Already the first day of summer
is carving a space large enough
for both of us.


2. Raindrops

I am wearing a necklace of raindrops, more judiciously
rounded than teardrops, moulded into shape
by the greater gravity of earth and the sky’s
overburdened need for equanimity.
                 And when I come back inside
raindrops linger for a while along the windows
to sign their disappearance with random streaks.
I cannot hold onto a single one of them
long enough to recite even a short prayer
for their death.
                 Gazed at for the moment of their being
they each have the perfection of utterances
the sky makes for the lowliest of creatures —
the slug, the ant, the caterpillar, the grasshopper
and for the outstretched hands of leaves
                 also waiting to fall.


3. What is lacking

As if assailed by doubt
water suddenly lost its ability to move.
It stares at us forlornly from the upper shelf of the refrigerator.

Addicted to my own thoughts,
unable to hold onto my own molecules,
I do not have the immortality of water.


4. My distant brother

Light, like water, is a strange creature.
                 Suddenly, when I thought the day could do nothing but steadily get colder, light appears, stepping beyond the trees that seem to block it to become a presence all along the front windows of my house. Then I notice it has already stepped inside and is now inhabiting a small oblong stripe on the wooden floor. A moment later it’s settled into a glittering half-presence that gently laps the patch of carpet at my feet.
                 Of all the creatures I know it is the one I least understand. I could call it wilful as so it seems to me, but it also strikes me as the most solemn of life’s companions though not without a distinct flair for playfulness.
                 And now it turns firm and resolute, holding the scratch marks and spiderwebs of my east-facing windows in a steady embrace. I think it must be the sole creature whose only instinct is to give. At the same time I am loath to talk about light too much. For fear my words might be judged ill-considered and it would turn its back on me forever. Yet, over and over, since my first days my heart rises to meet it. It surely knows I want to follow it. Somehow I trust that we are kin.


5. In a divided landscape

Three dreams cross the river
while a crow flies ahead to announce them.

                 Citizen of the dark earth
wading across a shimmering landscape
of moss and stone,
water creatures seek to enter you.
Already your belly is ballooning with shapes
that swim, wriggle and kick their way
through tangled memory-zones
of a life spent incubating
below the moon’s surface.

                 Tonight as you sleep
the dreams will gently guide your visitors
back to the margins of firm earth.
Suddenly free and extraordinarily alone,
where you will wake
the dreams will not tell you.

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An Encounter

A plastic bag we never saw before flew.

It was high in the air.

Is it a new kind? One muttered through an excited expression.

It’s pure white. It must have never got mixed up.

Never got dropped on the floor, never got stuck in a tree. Maybe it’s nowhere.

Also with no use. One chimes in too.

It’s excited. One praised. Also with no lineage. Also with no resistance. Look, look. Look at the fluttering.

It must be tired. With a pitiful expression, one shook their head.

With no use. Also without rolling. Also without getting hung up. Wandering heaven, roaming around… Flying around, tearing up… It felt like it wanted a reunion after losing its way.

Maybe it’s something indigenous that went extinct. With a cautious expression one was lost in thought.

The wind changed.

We heard a sound.

Shall we have a listen? One shut their eyes.

Okay, let’s give it a try.

We lay in a landfill. Okay, let’s give it a go. We lie in our arms like they are pillows and close our eyes together.

We open our ears together.

Rustling Polystyrene
Polyethylene
Polypropylene Polytetrafluoroethylene

Methylene chloro
Chlororo

Trichlorophenol. Dichlorodiphenyltrichlororororo

I see.

We were delighted. We had no wrinkles. We were on cloud 9.

The sky was clear.

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Transplants, I

—For Shin Hae-uk

It was reported that no one knew her well enough
to befriend her—this is the genius of her con
as this word clips onto this word and so on, forming
a pattern beneath the bustline of her figure patiently
standing on wooden floorboards in the centre of a room.
If you listen, a voice above wills you to shut your eyes—
inhale a deep breath and whisper—even though I have
been stripped of installation I know I deserve money
in my life.
For the sake of a scene, the room is in a house
with no fence, yet mounds of dirt indicate barriers to regard
the yard as plot. And who is actually addressed here?
If you outline lips with gloss, eyes with shadows and hair
with layers, a loose embodiment may be skulled. After
swallowing, you grasp that the line beneath her bust is no
small thing. Trembling, she guides you into another room.

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Transplants, III

—For Shin Hae-uk

This is no small thing—the borders glossing the room
are large enough for her to visualise being placed somewhere
other than this location. Room for error, she figures, while
performing her daily stretches to increase muscle and joint
mobility—mostly to relieve the pain pre-existing in her current
situation. A report submitted to the board specified that no one
knew her well enough to befriend her, and she now understands
that this was a mistake. Lying with her back against the floor,
knees bent, she rotates her hips and the knots in her lower back
loosen. Inhaling a deep breath, smelling the dirt beneath her,
she whispers—even though I have been stripped of installation
I know I deserve money in my life.
Tracing the beads of sweat
beneath her bustline, she trembles with the conviction that she,
in the centre of the room, is embodying her ultimate address.

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Perspective Matter

(after William Kentridge)

I’m going to outer space
to find out if any birds live there.
Just like time and space are relative
magic is a matter of perspective.
The sun blesses the pickles
with yellow flowers
when they’re still cucumbers.
Seeing underneath what is visible.
Latent potential.
A Lithuanian woman wearing a honey cake on her head
to take on a plane to her lover in Berlin.
A Hassid in a bar called Cock
pretending he is lost.
The frog in a stork’s gullet
croaking
everything is going to be okay.
The connection between disparate things
brings us closer to meaning
like finding the sun blessing you
like a blossoming pickle.
I was in the Lithuanian countryside
in a Jewish cemetery
between weathered graves
and broken graves
having an allergy attack.
I was in a tube in London
hearing
A FULL STOP DEVOURS THE SENTENCE WHOLE
instead of
MIND THE GAP.

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Korean Grocer

I can sit here forever in the coffee shop beside the Korean Grocer
watching Brunswick St as the lights come on like in Hyper-reactive
(the award-winning poem by Melody Paloma) feeling like cardboard in the rain
…it won’t last! yells a toddler chasing her father down the footpath
or that’s what I think she says. Fitzroy: where your clothes scream
more-than-just-a-creative, but your tea leaves spell INHERITED WEALTH
I stop to see my reflection in the shop window as I try to accept
the person I have become underneath all this hair which trails
after me a lag of long exposure to a bench around the corner
like the misshapen heart the barista gave my coffee
someone’s lost keys empty pallets a random pantofle
this skip in the laneway someone has tagged incoherently
with a waterproof posca pen: around me things change
like shifting sheets of ice in a David Attenborough documentary
bread left out for birds swells & dissolves like the news
it tastes a little different than the day before — or do I just
want it to? on Instagram I see a tattoo that says NOTHING LASTS
in bright rainbow colours — the bench too wet to sit on
(it’s still drizzling) which reminds me of something my dad
once said to me in a flash storm: that heavy rain never lasts long
anyway I enjoy my soggy donut

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Paul Verlaine’s pistol

rings out through poetry
like a town hall clock in a village where poetry
hides like a pill in a cabinet
(entropy & all that)

leave your text messages unread
your heroes unsung

suggests the band in long coats
supplying off-key brass

here is your bouquet
here is your bucket

I’m dressed like Rimbaud coming back from the shops
there’s doing it (poetry) but in a punk way
subverting form & tradition
spitting at the audience et cetera
but this is not the same as doing nothing at all

I can have as many tabs open as I like
in the gold rush I don’t think anyone really
stopped to brush their teeth

sometimes anxiety is googling weighted blankets
& derealisation other times it’s a fighter plane
refuelling in hostile airspace
piercing the peach-gold sky

announced by the taste of coins
here are fourteen different lenders
who want to give you & your poetry a home loan

Baudelaire uses a word which means cracked bell
that doesn’t have a correlate in English

it was an art teacher of mine who once said
don’t take the money

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Transplants, II

—For Shin Hae-uk

In another room, there is a three-seater couch that your
position only permits you to look at—never to sit on.
The executives share feedback about how the cushions
are as soft as a baby’s belly before feeding. Suspiciousness
filters through you while recording such an alliterative
account for the meeting’s minutes. To interrupt this pattern
of thinking, you inhale a deep breath and whisper—even
though I have been stripped of installation I know I deserve
money in my life.
She, the figure sitting next to you, trembles
upon hearing this. Only after you type out, order, and circulate
the daily reports do you realise you have made a mistake
of address and begin picking at the dirt beneath your nails.
To loosen the growing tension in your shoulders, you twist
your upper body in the direction of a team of people marching
toward you—not stopping at the doorway of the room to admire
the configuration of the couch, and this is no small thing.

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Can You Hear The Thunder?

Because tending bar with Aussies in England
made me miss the sun
Tina Turner and Jimmy Barns were singing ‘Simply the Best’
at the Walkabout Reading franchise in 2005
when I walked out of my job.

The first Australian girl I kissed
told me she would never date a Yankee
which was okay
because all Australians are convicts
my ex-fiancee told me
and the reason Australia has such a low population
is because the animals and insects are poisonous.

I have two Australian poet friends.
Is Dan Disney poisonous?
Is Dom Symes a convict?
And if you are a poisonous poet
if you are a convict poet
does that make you Australian?
I wonder
if I went to Adelaide
and drank a Castlemaine
would I feel at home?

On my imagination telly
Crocodile Dundee and bloomin’ onion rings
play Australian rules in an Outback steakhouse.
Steve Irwin is the referee.
Though I do not know the rules
to Australian rules
I think Kath and Kim just scored and
Nick Cave is more German than Australian and
does every sentence sound like a question now?

Before you visit a country
it exists as a set of cultural clichés
and after you’ve been somewhere new
it feels a lot like everywhere else but
even though I’ve never been to Australia
I listened to Courtney Barnett’s Avant Gardener
so I know
they also have asthma and drink kombucha in Oz.

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A Flightless Bird’s Tired Lovesongs for the Cloudless Sky

In the burnt hole in the centre of a giant Sequoia
I’m standing at the door of the apocalypse
waiting for someone to save us
wondering if the Sequoia still thinks it’s still living
and because I wonder if trees have angels
all the things I imagined are slowly vanishing.
To a 3,000-year-old tree, what is civilisation?
People imagine that trees reach toward the sky.
That the sky is G-d.
But what about the roots?
They weave through the living earth like a mysterious net
and capture the voices of the dead.
Underground, those voices speak still.
Maybe snails are angels.
Their voices echo in my mind
like a sky blacked out with smoke.
Staring at innumerable trees burnt black
like dark toothpicks poking the mountainside.
I don’t want to buy a BMW.
I want to be a snail.
I want to eat the dead
avoid salt
and leave a trail of green slime.
In the Giant Forest
I stood in the centre of a giant sequoia.
A passerby said
‘This is not what I expected’
and a little kid threw a plastic bottle
at General Sherman.
We stopped.
In the silence I tried to listen to the trees.
I believe the trees were listening to me.
I can’t imagine a future.
My imagination is on fire.
Being born a human being
is a crime.

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Tipping point (‘Blues for skip’)

my skin is deathly pale
which is about the only thing I have in common with Keats

if this were the nineteenth century
I’d worry if I really was consumptive
or just capital R romantic

at present all my shirts are hanging up at home
in chronological order waiting to be worn

the lecture is titled: expanding on the poetic line
but I keep looking at my plastic watch

I could go on forever
about how I can’t find a job
or a park in the city

I notice myself describing
how empty the well is
like: that’s the poem!

somewhere online a penguin
is referred to as a business goose

I have always been conscious
that my formality was excessive

no ideas but in things

at night the radio plays love song dedications
even though no one is listening
(not even me)

there’s a tipping point
where a bad enough translation
becomes a new poem
altogether

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Zombie, brains wanted

brains dried out homogenised tongue
I could see it lying there the hollowed coconut
on a koh sumat1 beach
frozen
temporal
space.

I need the right replacement
for my fall-out brain
the scoop they took out was
a macaque’s monkey toy
stomped on
at a full moon party
by the research monkey
boys.

I want it reconstituted like that
rotting raggedy rag doll
restuffed with plant polystyrene pods
fermented woodchips discarded
synthesised improvements stapled in.

I’d like an organic brain
virginal with happiness
essential synapses firing but
not too developed in the frontal lobe
I want the removal of doubt
German precision
Japanese hardware.

Any type will do really
as long as there’s a reset button.

Deletion of all memories.

Make it functional again.

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Future Addiction 3

Time to turn on the Discount Mart sign lights. Like the iffy gaze a survivor makes when they swipe from the shelf mackerel cans that won’t expire even after the apocalypse,

maybe people are sitting around human beings that someone lit up like candles. Maybe it’s time to clap and blow the humans out.

When you cut off a slice of life with a bread knife, shadows are like dogs
under the feet of people going home like plates, dogs waiting for the Discount Mart sign lights, dogs under the table hanging their red tongues to lick their share of plates, and
to show time wearing people out, dogs that bite the world and won’t let go.

I try to call, put my hands out, stroke your back, and ask ‘What’s your name?’
but like darkness baring its red gums,

with white fangs, saliva dripping

without fail

when the sign of Discount Mart lights up, I can’t tell the difference between my family and frozen meat, I can’t tell the difference between bread bags and sleepwalking, nickel plated pots stacked tightly and the sound of claxons.

Humans swaying in the firelight turn off after one block.
Become white smoke.

Like a random barcode, I briefly scan my soul in the darkness and it disappears, the sound
is like the mackerel can opened by an apocalypse survivor, the sound, CRAAAAAAAASSHHH like a collapsing display case.

Dog barks sealed in Discount Mart gift boxes, woof woof, moving to the round plate of the mind,
I mumble in order not to forget, fangs stuck in my name.

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Translucent

Through the only eye that he can move himself
he looks at the wall clock.
Looking a long time is staring.
Yep.
With one side asleep.
God believes in the morning and the morning believes in him
so he still believes in God.
Morning is beautiful.
He talks to himself.
The round band-aid slips underneath the bed from his hand.
With the only arm that he can move himself
he flaps his arm trying to grab it.
Tennis balls roll all the way home
and get cuts in the shape of crosses.
Six dining room chairs.
Four legs a piece.
Twenty-four tennis balls in total.
There’s a nine-year-old autistic boy
who sticks the balls on and pulls the balls off the chair legs.
In the evening he grows a new white beard on his chin.
With the only foot that he can move
he kicks the blanket but it doesn’t fall off.
It’s stuck.
Hey hat. Bye hat.
The hat in the air hasn’t found its face yet.
Snow
heavy and waiting with pouting lips.
Snow falls
all night like it’s some kind of a big deal.
Snow gets bigger in the cold, snow grows on the
snow stuck on the window panes.
Daybreak shaking the white bed sheets after pulling them out of a cabinet.
Who is it?
I heard it could only be a mask with a long arm
that can close that eye.

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