The ability to recognise samples,

to pinpoint the source of a sound

the slides from left to right speaker

under the drum track, under the bass,

weaving between the snare and the hi-hat

and is gone in an instant,

the ability to smile knowingly

and reference such sounds,

to be able to say with confidence

that it's a five second grab

from the opening track

on Duck Rock, Malcolm McLaren's

1983 experimental world music opus,

and to be able to go further,

to cite the two hit singles that came

from that album, or to be able to

recite an amusing anecdote from

the days when he was the manager

of the Sex Pistols – this ability,

while undeniably interesting

in and of itself, and while it might

even be considered to be entertaining,

and even though it is a truly

unjust reflection of the time and effort

you have expended in order to possess

it, this ability will be of absolutely no use

to you in that job interview next week.