The Castaway

By | 1 February 2021

I was drunk I was sitting in the sand I was thinking about the past my children my country the mines I was drunk and I was not careful not thinking barely awake in the close to midday sun the sun the country the fires my loved ones I was crying at some point but a man shouldn’t cry I was just drunk and singing I threw the bottle at a car at a house at a window I was miserable but it was good to throw the bottle the glass shattered the glass made a noise I wanted to set something on fire but no I wouldn’t I wouldn’t do it to my country my country which is nothing like it used to be I was drunk that’s all I wasn’t harming anybody I was having a good time by myself everyone left me I used the last twenty dollar I had to buy myself a bottle just one I saved the rest for later I had forethoughts I thought of the future unlike what they say I think I do think about the future anyway the day was getting on I saw some kangaroos crossing the road they went for the lawn life is easy for them if they hang around towns there are grasses I was thirsty I went to the drinking fountain it was out of order so I went for the bottle though it didn’t quench my thirst I roamed about singing I was thinking I was thinking about the deaths and suicides amongst our peoples I was feeling sad I was feeling bad for them I was drinking to buy myself an hour a minute of peace I was drinking because it was the only way but sometimes I get angry I get angry and start throwing bricks I am so miserable I throw bricks at those white flash houses fancy courtyards the church I was sleeping against a tree when they came and got me they handcuffed me and threw me into the back of a white van the sun was high the sun was high I was riding it was getting hot in there I banged on the sides I banged on the hot white steel let me out let me out let me out I hollered and the white fellas kept cursing and I kept cursing and the sun was getting higher and I was getting higher and I flew at the walls I flew at the prison I built for myself I banged my chest against it I banged my head against it and then it all got so much I couldn’t breathe I couldn’t holler no more I kept roasting and roasting in the heat I kept turning and turning on the floor I got tossed back and forth like a tennis ball I sweated I stank I asked for something to drink blood on my head blood on the floor blood flooding my eyes I thought about the color of the sand how I would have loved to dig my body into the coolness underneath and I kept dreaming and dreaming until suddenly I stopped and I was where I wanted to be in the sand and in the earth in the trees and in the leaves in the winds and in the sun dancing with the elements with the spirits with those that came before me with the whole universe and I was simple and I was clean and I was happy and I was happy
and I was happy


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