Everything Poem, part 4

By | 1 July 1999

There are
455 active volcanoes in the World
and blood completes
a circuit of the body
every 23 seconds,
but you weigh
40 times as much as your brain
and it’s impossible
to describe a spiral-staircase [without using
a finger]
so watch with one eye
and listen with the other, i’m about to attempt
a handstand
using one finger!

In 1665
Robert Hooke
drew a picture of a [*] snowflake, hung it Up
on a wall
and marvelled on the workings [and
the Glory]
of God:—
“There are 36 letters
in the Russian alphabet
and rhubarb
originated in Tibet, but Miles Davis was
a diabetic
and an oral culture
has no

I may
or “may-Not” know what i’m
saying [cos
4/5ths of everything living on this planet
is under the sea, and baritones resonate
better in the bathroom]
but if you
stick an elephant in a refrigerator, it’ll explode
an’ there’ll be nothing but
and spinach
so don’t try and understand all this
in English:
is an alert process
designed to prevent the brain from going into
a coma”

Picture this:—
You’re in the middle of an argument
so you get-Up
to get yourself a Brandy
but the Thermometer BURSTS (like
a pimple!) (cos it’s thirsty!)
you turn round to “laugh”
but it’s … disappointing
you Wake-Up
and wonder Why
you’re swimming
never trust anyone
who sez:“I’m from the Government and
i’ve come to help” [the vertical-groove
in the middle-portion of the upper-lip
is called a philtrum
and Pandemonium, is the Capital
of Hell]

Consider this
[if you like]:—
Karl Marx was a journalist
Asparagus was mentioned by the Egyptians
Shakespeare signed his name 4 different ways
and a face-lift takes
41/2 hours

i don’t know
what kind of problem Shakespeare [or
anyone else] had
but it takes 20 seconds for a solution of
oil + vinegar [in a glass
of water] to separate
and IBM’s motto is THINK [so
THINK!] make it Up!
according to
the Copenhagen Interpretation:
“Something’s there
if something’s there to say it’s there [even if
it isn’t]!”

what i’m
trying to get at is this: This is This
That is That
and This’n’That is . That
not ——————> That!
so don’t suffer the “cause”
according to the manual
it’ll take you another 12 hours to clean a 1,000
bricks [by
hand] and 3 days
to learn how to use
an artificial-leg
so you
may want to keep this in mind
a “raindrop”
travelling at 25mph is about
a 5th of an inch wide
and the last thing
a Pilot does
before the plane goes down

but if you
insist [and persist]
on being a BAD EGG
and on
getting yourself “exiled” [to an Arab country
… like
just remember:————
is always strongest at the perforations
any Fool
can start a sentence.

If you’re
listening to this
the only thing you’ll need to know is
some people
play the piano better
with their

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