after Bernadette Mayer
“Let’s just helicopter the ocean

somewhere”

                                            –	Anne Boyer

New South Wales is awful

The winter’s non-existent

The sun will come out today

There are Yuppies

Men & women who can’t walk

They wear dark colours & jog around, admiring browns & greens

            looking down at their phones & pretending to predict all the

            big stocks

Or else they nod winely

Yup, a Moscadello

The high turns mellow all the time

The liver’s grey

Every movie’s black and white

Everybody eats greens

Nothing freezes

Everyone owns a cute paper mouse

People watch wood chopping every Easter

They dine around on spicy foods

All the trees look dehydrated

They are killed so meadows grow

There’s always daylight

People sit home & drink, boiling

At night all grab telephones, go out & the powerful down blow

Every weekend there’s scorn, so no one want to see you

The fireplaces burn on the outskirts

The mountains look black afterwards

There are only cookbooks at the store

Gourmet’s a big thing

Everybody has a hairstyle

Sex is druggy for people in New South Wales

It’s 36C & they use rubber for non-slip mats

Some people have to have regeneration surgery

The wrinkles are very small

You have to go out with a cold

All of a sudden the blue gum is blown away

Everything’s buried under five feet of sun

It doesn’t go away until April or May

Every drink’s either Snapple or some kind of lemon squash

The houses are all hot boxes & you cant open the windows

People sell storeys to each other

People have to cum & and pull the sweat off their side of

            the bed

Then people build garages for their different cars

They have town meetings about the river system

The ideas of people in general are not raised higher than the

            Murray in drought

Even the water flees this trap