Reading a list of celebrities who own islands as self-care

By | 1 May 2018

Johnny Depp owns an island
A-Ha, the band that sang Take on Me collectively
Own an island while The Lonely Island
Do not own one, Marlon Brando,
Who is dead, is on the list of island owners
Leonardo DiCaprio, Ricky Martin,
Robin Williams—also dead
Maybe this list is outdated
It features washed-out google images
Of the celebrities next to aerial views of their islands
Which look like supergreen salads or planets
Or salad-planets or cross sections of
Planet Hollywood billboards
So far away or so close-up
There’s an implied sense we as observers are
Exiled from these 200×200-pixel images
High-contrast oversaturated unattainable
Properties shining like beacons from a
2003 we can never access
In circles where buying an island is an acceptable form of self-care
A lifestyle choice we can rage against but never zoom in on
Maybe I should look at another list maybe I should—

Picking your nose really thoroughly as self-care
Watching an entire season of Queer Eye without moving as self-care
Making yourself a really healthy dinner and
Eating it too quickly to get indigestion
As self-care, at what point does your
Self-care grow a thirst that cannot be quenched
By coconut oil or yoga, at what point does a man
Become an island dressed inappropriately in a Hawaiian shirt
Unbuttoned, bare belly viewed from above like Mao
Drifting down the Yangtze to prove it’s not toxic
The Galapagos rising out of the sea like fat
Tortoise asses revealing themselves to Charles Darwin
Revealing himself to Richard Dawkins
Exposing himself to every old white man who
Thought his ideas more important than
Having values, at what point am I just giving in to the
Decadence of my sadness like eating a really
Nice ass-cake sprinkled with islands inhabited by my own
Feelings drowning them in stomach acid torching
The villages burning the villagers
How many times
Will I swallow before I sink

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