I’m trying to work out how you’re supposed

to reconcile your career path with the doors

people close on you. I’m trying to be polite and

professional in the face of professional, polite 
and impersonal rejection. OK, well, thanks I say,

thanks for considering me, have a great day,

thanks for the opportunity. Thanks for all those

learnings and discoveries. Thanks for the brand 
new no thanks to add to the collection I shuffle

like worry beads while trying to find the balance

between just being myself and being the me you

hypothetically might have wanted if you hadn’t 
had to make such a difficult choice. Maybe if I had

smiled more. Maybe if I’d talked less or rehearsed

my answers one more time. Maybe if I’d set up in

front of the bookshelf or used the blur filter instead. 
Maybe if I’d paid that hundred to that interview

coaching agency. Maybe if I’d clicked more hearts

on old bosses’ posts or signed up for premium.

Maybe if I did the vacuuming when I said I would.
Maybe if I left less mess on our cookbook pages.

Maybe if I was a more attentive son and brother.

Mean old Mister Meritocracy drops me a DM to

tell me that bad things only happen to you know 
who and reminds me what it means when you

don’t get what you think you deserve. And I say

maybe life sucks or maybe I do, either way I did

what I did and they did what they did and now I 
have a what next to come up with. It’s not you it’s

us and It’s not us it’s you are both equal to No, and

our lives go on, some with and some without me.

Would have been good, hey? Oh, well. Moving on.