I’m somewhere pathetic when I finally crack

like I’m at Laserforce or I’m patting a stranger’s dog

or I’ve wandered into a vape shop by accident

or I’m in the laundry items aisle 
     I crack and the crack goes right up through me

     it’s not exactly ripping myself a new asshole—

it’s taking the asshole I’ve got and making it … way bigger

so that the wind rushes through me with an unearthly howl

     and as it surges outward

throughout all of humanity

everyone flees

     everyone runs to the sea

     everyone runs to the sea except me

     everyone wades in and drowns     and no one comes back

     I spend the rest of my short life     looting canned food and nice clothes

from abandoned shops in the CBD 
     but in fact !     all of this is untrue……….I’ve been lying

     no one ever left in the first place     and I never even cracked

     I never crack because I like it here          I like to play my little games—

I like to tell my little jokes          I like to make   my gentle threats

     there are people everywhere and I am always lying to them

like this : look at me !!!     look at me run     when in fact I am standing still

     I haven’t moved for several minutes

     why does everyone keep believing me

     it’s not that I’m a baddie I’m just

always wrong 
     and it’s not my fault ! in fact I have a congenital disease of wrongness

     I grew up getting severely bested in arguments     I’d be like   

losing my mind in the back of the car     my dumb little voice 

rising higher and higher     my sister smirking her smirk of righteousness   

when I was straining for some kind of point     like you know

exactly like pushing for a shit before it is ready          

     you can’t fucking take it back man     once you’ve strained enough

     I’d be so embarrassed if it was just my personality     it’s so fortunate that I

have my     congenital disease to blame 
     oh no I’m lying again     sorry it happens literally all the time

     I wasn’t born with it

     I actually developed it as a public service :

     I have to cry wolf so the villagers     can get their     satisfaction

I have to be wrong so that you can be right

     it’s actually……….charity     I’m doing charity on you                    psych