Tantrum in a Supermarket

By | 25 November 2019

     I’m somewhere pathetic when I finally crack
like I’m at Laserforce or I’m patting a stranger’s dog
or I’ve wandered into a vape shop by accident
or I’m in the laundry items aisle

     I crack and the crack goes right up through me
     it’s not exactly ripping myself a new asshole—
it’s taking the asshole I’ve got and making it … way bigger
so that the wind rushes through me with an unearthly howl
     and as it surges outward
throughout all of humanity
everyone flees
     everyone runs to the sea
     everyone runs to the sea except me
     everyone wades in and drowns     and no one comes back
     I spend the rest of my short life     looting canned food and nice clothes
from abandoned shops in the CBD

     but in fact !     all of this is untrue……….I’ve been lying
     no one ever left in the first place     and I never even cracked
     I never crack because I like it here          I like to play my little games—
I like to tell my little jokes          I like to make my gentle threats
     there are people everywhere and I am always lying to them
like this : look at me !!!     look at me run when in fact I am standing still
     I haven’t moved for several minutes
     why does everyone keep believing me
     it’s not that I’m a baddie I’m just
always wrong

     and it’s not my fault ! in fact I have a congenital disease of wrongness
     I grew up getting severely bested in arguments     I’d be like   
losing my mind in the back of the car     my dumb little voice 
rising higher and higher     my sister smirking her smirk of righteousness   
when I was straining for some kind of point     like you know
exactly like pushing for a shit before it is ready          
     you can’t fucking take it back man     once you’ve strained enough
     I’d be so embarrassed if it was just my personality     it’s so fortunate that I
have my     congenital disease to blame

     oh no I’m lying again     sorry it happens literally all the time
     I wasn’t born with it
     I actually developed it as a public service :
     I have to cry wolf so the villagers     can get their satisfaction
I have to be wrong so that you can be right
     it’s actually……….charity     I’m doing charity on you         psych

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