The phone kept ringing & even though I was holding
scissors to cut the cord it only took three more slow rings
for me to become defenceless, cloaking my dressing gown
over my shoulders as I announced myself into the mouthpiece.
It was not my manager but his desperate voice,
a role reversal we were both uncomfortable playing.
There was a film casting that evening & after last year’s excesses
I still owed him, plus the favours he had done in order to obtain
my new number & address. As this was communicated, we slid
back into our usual dynamic, hope leaching from my body
& dampening the floor. I scuffed my new patent leather shoes
trying to find the location of the casting studio on time.
I finally found the two-storey brick building — vertical metal
blinds, opening slightly after I knocked several times. I pinched
the side of my neck & rolled my shoulders back.
Although I had passed a public restroom on my way to the audition,
I skipped the opportunity as my manager advised that my performance
required an expression of concern & I needed to look authentic.
A man answered the door & greeted me in the redundant
way to which I have become accustomed. As I walked up the stairs
& into the allocated room, he explained that there were no lines
in my role, that it was very image dependent. Each facial muscle
was vital to convey the exact point of view the writer/director
had envisaged while on a mountain retreat decades ago. The gaze
they were seeking was to be so commanding, that the climax
of the film would rely upon my precise expression. After this explanation
the writer/director rose from his chair, smoothed down the gathered
creases of his grey suit & suggested a prop be introduced to assist
me with this assignment. From behind the pillows on a cream leather
couch the writer/director presented a fuchsia-coloured canine harness
& slipped my head through the nylon neck piece. I raised my arms
as the bottom straps were pulled down past my chest & over my stomach,
the top straps arranged across my back & the side belts were pulled in tight
so they could be clasped together. There was a sharp metallic click
& reflecting back on their faces was the expression requested from me.
- 109: NO THEME 12with C Maling & N Rhook 108: DEDICATIONwith L Patterson & L Garcia-Dolnik 107: LIMINALwith B Li 106: OPENwith C Lowe & J Langdon 105: NO THEME 11with E Grills & E Stewart 104: KINwith E Shiosaki 103: AMBLEwith E Gomez and S Gory 102: GAMEwith R Green and J Maxwell 101: NO THEME 10with J Kinsella and J Leanne 100: BROWNFACE with W S Dunn 99: SINGAPOREwith J Ip and A Pang 97 & 98: PROPAGANDAwith M Breeze and S Groth 96: NO THEME IXwith M Gill and J Thayil 95: EARTHwith M Takolander 94: BAYTwith Z Hashem Beck 93: PEACHwith L Van, G Mouratidis, L Toong 92: NO THEME VIIIwith C Gaskin 91: MONSTERwith N Curnow 90: AFRICAN DIASPORAwith S Umar 89: DOMESTICwith N Harkin 88: TRANSQUEERwith S Barnes and Q Eades 87: DIFFICULTwith O Schwartz & H Isemonger 86: NO THEME VIIwith L Gorton 85: PHILIPPINESwith Mookie L and S Lua 84: SUBURBIAwith L Brown and N O'Reilly 83: MATHEMATICSwith F Hile 82: LANDwith J Stuart and J Gibian 81: NEW CARIBBEANwith V Lucien 80: NO THEME VIwith J Beveridge 57.1: EKPHRASTICwith C Atherton and P Hetherington 57: CONFESSIONwith K Glastonbury 56: EXPLODE with D Disney 55.1: DALIT / INDIGENOUSwith M Chakraborty and K MacCarter 55: FUTURE MACHINES with Bella Li 54: NO THEME V with F Wright and O Sakr 53.0: THE END with P Brown 52.0: TOIL with C Jenkins 51.1: UMAMI with L Davies and Lifted Brow 51.0: TRANSTASMAN with B Cassidy 50.0: NO THEME IV with J Tranter 49.1: A BRITISH / IRISH with M Hall and S Seita 49.0: OBSOLETE with T Ryan 48.1: CANADA with K MacCarter and S Rhodes 48.0: CONSTRAINT with C Wakeling 47.0: COLLABORATION with L Armand and H Lambert 46.1: MELBOURNE with M Farrell 46.0: NO THEME III with F Plunkett 45.0: SILENCE with J Owen 44.0: GONDWANALAND with D Motion 43.1: PUMPKIN with K MacCarter 43.0: MASQUE with A Vickery 42.0: NO THEME II with G Ryan 41.1: RATBAGGERY with D Hose 41.0: TRANSPACIFIC with J Rowe and M Nardone 40.1: INDONESIA with K MacCarter 40.0: INTERLOCUTOR with L Hart 39.1: GIBBERBIRD with S Gory 39.0: JACKPOT! with S Wagan Watson 38.0: SYDNEY with A Lorange 37.1: NEBRASKA with S Whalen 37.0: NO THEME! with A Wearne 36.0: ELECTRONICA with J Jones