i dream a lot

i dream of a man wandering a forest

smoke exalting from his shoulder blades
i become paint

wrapped around my skin
i move like rain

and swallow moonlight for dinner
when dawn comes

i hide myself beneath

a blanket of wind
the man returns to me

moments before i wake
he tells me that water is coming

says it will fill me up

heavy with gold through my body

he tells me

it will make me whole again
the water becomes a spectrum of light

exiting the cave of my fingertips
lemonade begins

to shut down my organs
i become swans

hunting lake water for diamond rings
when naked men visit the edge of water

the swans hide enfolded in liquid silk
in my dream

mexico becomes heaven

for women carrying fire opals

in their coat pockets
last night

suburban dogs find solace

in a meth addict’s backyard
goldfinches get married in a tree

then fall to their death

i get a tattoo of it
yesterday

machine guns followed me home

until i fed them with halo water
tonight i bathe with mermaids

in a moss pool

eclipsed around my thighs
men with paradise skin find me

lying on a black sand beach

overdosed mirtazapine pooling

from my mouth
my collection of spiders

crawl behind my eyeballs
in my dream i shave my head

then commit suicide later that evening
and then i wake