Via Politica
I grew up in a big house
where weakness and expressions of joy
deserved punishment.
And I was raised on the via politica
with the grease of yesterday’s glories,
a thick grease collected under arctic skies.
I was lit up. My notebooks, my hair, my heart reeked of smoke.
That’s when we saw each other clearly.
Or rather, what remained of us.
Damaged like lottery numbers
scratched away with a blade.
How different we were!
Those with round faces were righteous;
those with narrow faces were cautious.
One listened secretly to Puccini,
another to silence, the music’s music.
The oldest one declaimed monologues
inside a ten by ten foot cell
he had built for himself.
And the mysterious ones
simply had diabetes.
But how similar we were in severe circumstances!
Alarmed like a flock of magpies
that the smallest stone sends into the sky
toward the mouth of the abyss.
Then it became obvious there wasn’t enough space for everyone.
We separated. Some went on living via verbum,
telling of what they knew, what they witnessed,
and so, through their narrative,
creating their own grease.
The others crossed over the ocean.
And those in particular who went farthest away
never speak of their annoying history
of wretched survival, burying it
in the darkest crevices of their being.
Unfortunately, as with perfume, its scent
lingers there for much, much longer.
Via Politica
Jam rritur në një shtëpi të madhe
ku dobësia dhe e folura në mënyrën dëshirore
meritonin ndëshkim.
Dhe jam ndriçuar via politica,
me dhjamin e qirinjve të lavdisë së djeshme,
i trashë, një dhjamë i akumuluar nën qiej të ftohtë arktiku.
Fletoret e mia, flokët e mi, zemra ime mbanin erë tym,
Tym, afati i të cilit numëronte mbrapsh
drejt fundit të rezervave dhjamore. Drejt zeros absolute.
Atëherë pamë qartë njëri-tjetrin. Ose më mirë,
atë që kishte mbetur prej nesh,
e dëmtuar si numrat pas zgjyrës
në një biletë llotarie të gërvishtur me një teh.
Sa të ndryshëm ishim!
Ata me fytyrë të rrumbullakët ishin të drejtët.
Dhe ata më fytyrë të tërhequr, të arsyeshmit.
Njëri dëgjonte fshehurazi Puçinin,
një tjetër, muzikën e muzikës- heshtjen.
Më i madhi, mbante monologje në një metër katror -
një qeli që ia krijonte vetes.
Dhe ata që nuk arrita t’i lexoj
kishin thjesht diabet.
Por sa të ngjashëm ishim në zgrip!
Të alarmuar si një tufë laraskash
që guri më i vogël i ngre të gjitha vrikthi
drejt grykës së humnerës.
Dhe pastaj u pa që hapësira nuk mjaftontë për të gjithë.
U ndamë. Disa do të jetonin via parole
për të treguar atë që provuan, atë që panë
e kështu, përmes rrëfimit
të krijonin dhjamin e tyre prej neoni.
Të tjerët, morën rrugën e përtejoqeanit.
Dhe pikërisht ata që shkuan më larg
nuk e zënë kurrë me gojë
(një histori e bezdisshme mbijetese më pak),
duke e fshehur në skutat më të errëta të qenies,
atje, ku për dreq, si edhe me parfumin,
aroma reziston shumë herë më gjatë.
Ani Gjika is an Albanian-born poet, literary translator, and author of Bread on Running Waters (2013), a finalist for the 2011 Anthony Hecht Poetry Prize and the 2011 May Sarton New Hampshire Book Prize. Gjika is the translator of Kosovar poet Xhevdet Bajraj’s play Slaying the Mosquito (Laertes 2017), and her translation of Luljeta Lleshanaku’s poetry collection Negative Space (Bloodaxe Books, New Directions, 2018) received an NEA grant, an English PEN Award, and was a finalist for a PEN Award for Poetry in Translation. She teaches at Framingham State University and Massachusetts International Academy.
Luljeta Lleshanaku was born in Elbasan, Albania. She grew up under house arrest during Enver Hoxha’s Stalinist regime. Lleshanaku has worked as a lecturer, literary magazine editor, journalist, and screenwriter, and is currently the research director at Tirana’s Institute of Studies of Communist Genocide. She is the author of eight poetry collections published in Albania. Her books have received many national and international awards and have been translated into several languages. The collections Fresco: Selected Poetry (2002), Child of Nature (2010), and Negative Space (2018) were published by New Directions. In 2018, Negative Space was nominated for a PEN Award for Poetry in Translation.