Letter to Luoyang Chen

By | 15 May 2023

Time is passing, just a little, and I am still
becoming something other than I set out to be.

Piecemeal translations of SHINee lyrics –
you heard this in your mother’s car, you said;
a child. We are not each other’s children,

we are not – but at the park –
under your moon – a birthday

Could you give responsibility of yourself
to someone else
, you asked. I am trying,

over there, or in this moment, or maybe
less & less now, just a little –

Lightly touching the back of your neck,
perfectly silly mullet, or when you said
you feared you might forget yourself, mister

Ripley, mister Kundera, mister you:
the blossoming taste, the crushed ants

of your throat. Your goddess in the moon
above; I must remember, just a little.

Three nights ago my ex passed me
emergency sleeping pills, and I
dreamed of a world without you.

You were here:

atop your wolves. At one beach
or another, at McDonald’s, the books
on the train from Fremantle home.

I think I heard you howling. Just a little.

You told me you had dreamed of me
before we met. Pretend, now, you are
sleeping, Luoyang. What do I say next?

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