Kristen Stewart

By | 15 May 2023

Kristen Stewart is an actress
Who became very famous in 2008
For playing the most attractive person in a film franchise
About beautiful vampires
And everyone hated her
Because she didn’t smile enough.
Kristen Stewart was seventeen in 2008,
Which I didn’t know until I looked it up just now.
When I was seventeen I was not famous
And I had complicated feelings about Kristen Stewart,
The same way I had complicated feelings about all teenage girls.
When I was seventeen I probably knew a lot less than Kristen Stewart.

In 2008 I turned sixteen without learning any fundamental truths about myself
And was disappointed that I couldn’t say
‘Sweet sixteen and never been kissed’
Because of an incident with a boy when I was twelve
And which I’ve never really processed.
I thought about kissing all the time,
Just not about kissing Kristen Stewart.

When Kristen Stewart was twenty six,
There was an incident with a film director
And everyone hated her for being unhappy.
When I was twenty six a lot changed and I was often very unhappy
And I spent a lot of time thinking about kissing Kristen Stewart.

At twenty seven Kristen Stewart came out as bisexual
And confirmed what lesbians on the internet had known for many years.
When I was eighteen I came out as bisexual
And confirmed something I had been afraid of for many years.
I am twenty seven
And Kristen Stewart is starring in a movie
About female spies,
An earlier incarnation of which I saw in primary school
And which I told my mother made me gay.
My mother
Cannot pronounce Kristen Stewart’s name correctly.
My mother
Also could not correctly say Kirsten,
The name of a girl who joined my primary school in year five.
Kirsten had beautiful hair and I thought we were going to be friends
But then she became a popular girl instead.
I was never a popular girl,
And I was bad at keeping friends.
I felt about Kirsten the way I felt about Kristen Stewart in 2008.

Kristen Stewart is twenty nine and in love
And most people think she’s really cool
And she’s won awards for her acting.
I am twenty seven and in love
And I write poems about Kristen Stewart
Because she’s very beautiful and I want to kiss her
And I no longer hate young certain women on principle
The way I did in 2008
And I hadn’t thought about Kirsten in years
Until I started writing this poem,
But I hope that all the girls I used to know are happy.

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