Do more, do better

1 August 2018

1.

Trans Shield changes the way
you see the
world, even if the world
sees you
differently. Until society
catches up,
there’s an app
for that!

Just want people to respect
your identity? Pissed at being
politely misgendered when you
just want to buy
your fucking groceries? Want Gran
to use he/him but she’s not quite
getting it and she might kick
the bucket soon
and the whole situation is
bloody upsetting?

Simply plug your name/s,
pronoun set/s and 
preferred terms (e.g. guy,
girl, ma’am, dude,
person)
into Trans Shield and you’re good
to go!

Every time the wrong
crap is used in relation
to you, you won’t even hear that
shit. Our app syncs with your
BrainChip and uses the latest
AR breakthroughs
to overlay onto the
person who willfully
fucked up
so you won’t even notice
they did. (Multiple options
are available, including realistic
glazes of hands
and sign language, or a voice
and mouth.)

Once you have this
app, every instance of
‘oi tr*nny sl*t!’
hurled at you
on the street
will be masked
by the phrase
of your choice, including: ‘trans rights
are human rights!’ or ‘TERFs suck
hey?!’

For an additional
in-app fee you can replace
slurs from cars with a golden
retriever, barking joyously, their head thrust
unceremoniously out the window, feeling
the breeze ruffle
their silky ears.


2.

Additional features
of Trans Shield include
the ability to:

  1. put the app in Sleep
    
Mode, so you can discover
    
which of your uncles at family
    
dinner is misgendering you and
    
address the issue head-on
    by telling him
    
to get fucked.
  2. use multiple profiles and switch
    between them on a frequent or in-

    frequent basis. Perfect for anyone
    who’s bigender or gender fluid.
  3. edit any of your details
    at any time, because who says
    
we can’t explore 
who we are!


3.

Latest Trans Shield update:
Unfortunately we are still unable 
to address user concerns
regarding violence against
transgender and gender diverse
people,
especially
the violence against
and murder of
transgender women of colour.

Nor can we address the broader
systemic issues relating to
the way society views
and treats us
within the current scope
of this app. We are truly
sorry.


4.

Our sister app
Be Fucking Nicer,
which was marketed
at cisgender people, allowed the user
to store people’s pronouns and
identities for future
social interactions, and included
gamified education
tools (such as Ally
Credit Cookies).

We are sad to announce
this app was taken
down from the store for breaking
the terms of service. The terms
stated that: in this
day-and-age of ‘full
equality’ we are not allowed to unduly
influence the minds and decisions
of cisgender people
in this way. Again, we are truly
sorry. We wish we could
do more, do better.

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