1.
Trans Shield changes the way

            you see the

world, even if the world

            sees you

differently. Until society

            catches up,

there’s an app

            for that!
Just want people to respect

your identity? Pissed at being

politely misgendered when you

            just want to buy

            your fucking groceries? Want Gran

to use he/him but she’s not quite

getting it and she might kick

            the bucket soon

            and the whole situation is

            bloody upsetting?
Simply plug your name/s,

            pronoun set/s and 
preferred terms (e.g. guy,

            girl, ma’am, dude,

            person)

into Trans Shield and you’re good

            to go! 
Every time the wrong

            crap is used in relation

to you, you won’t even hear that

            shit. Our app syncs with your

BrainChip and uses the latest

AR breakthroughs

to overlay onto the

person who willfully

            fucked up

            so you won’t even notice

            they did. (Multiple options

are available, including realistic

            glazes of hands

and sign language, or a voice

            and mouth.)
Once you have this

app, every instance of

            ‘oi tr*nny sl*t!’

            hurled at you

            on the street

will be masked

by the phrase

of your choice, including: ‘trans rights

            are human rights!’ or ‘TERFs suck

            hey?!’ 
For an additional

in-app fee you can replace

slurs from cars with a golden

            retriever, barking joyously, their head thrust

unceremoniously out the window, feeling

the breeze ruffle

            their silky ears.


2.
Additional features

            of Trans Shield include

                        the ability to:

put the app in Sleep


Mode, so you can discover


which of your uncles at family


dinner is misgendering you and


address the issue head-on

by telling him


to get fucked.
use multiple profiles and switch

between them on a frequent or in-


frequent basis. Perfect for anyone

who’s bigender or gender fluid.
edit any of your details

at any time, because who says


we can’t explore 
who we are!



3.
Latest Trans Shield update:

Unfortunately we are still unable 
to address user concerns

regarding violence against

transgender and gender diverse

people,

            especially

            the violence against

            and murder of

            transgender women of colour. 
Nor can we address the broader

systemic issues relating to

            the way society views

            and treats us

within the current scope

of this app. We are truly

            sorry.


4.
Our sister app

Be Fucking Nicer,

which was marketed

at cisgender people, allowed the user

to store people’s pronouns and

identities for future

social interactions, and included

            gamified education

            tools (such as Ally

            Credit Cookies). 
We are sad to announce

this app was taken

down from the store for breaking

the terms of service. The terms

stated that: in this

day-and-age of ‘full

            equality’ we are not allowed to unduly

influence the minds and decisions

of cisgender people

in this way. Again, we are truly

            sorry. We wish we could

                        do more, do better.