luv poem 2 (while listening to lady lamb)

By | 5 December 2019

i like driving around at night and being in luv w/you
one hand on the wheel the other on my neck
god what’s wrong with me all i fantasize about
is us at night taking turns, windows down one driving while the other–
speaking of hands i stare at them all day their roads their fates i write them
i still can’t draw them. mathematically speaking this relates
to my inability to fold a map back up the way mapmakers intended.
life hack: when you give in and fold the paper in half, point A
touches point B. suddenly our cities are not so far apart.
i want to take the backroads to you. like the ones i take
to get to rt. 28, which is the mass ave of my life now. i can’t help
but compare everything in my life to something else i felt before it, hollowing it
new then climbing inside to sing my old songs. i’m trapping myself
inside echoes. but i’m learning to keep quiet in the new stillnesses until i mirage
through the fade. til the new shines through. @joshcornillon tweeted nostalgia is poison
and that’s my hot take!! stop wanting things back!! want new things!!
and like RT but you return like a planet everyone warns about
i never see you coming and we don’t believe
in linearity so nothing is retrograde if we decide it isn’t. i want to say
i’ve never felt this way before and mostly i haven’t
but ok listen the first time i heard your name, it wasn’t yours yet
it belonged to a friend of my father’s. an old name.
i was six years old and it struck me. i repeated it
to myself over and over while i played with legos.
my dad’s friend’s daughter didn’t think anything of it
just kept handing me legos. isn’t that so weird and funny.
it’s like i knew you were important before i even knew you
it’s like the world around me was like “yeah basically” it’s like
something was going 60 on a backroad to cut time in half
to fold time in on itself point you meeting point me. anyway
i just remembered all this on tyler st and wanted
to tell you.

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