Chalk to Charcoal

By | 1 April 2019

I wrote you in chalk, smeared my thoughts of you in charcoal
I am a blood orange, I have few edges and even fewer dreams
You’re like lint, a broken thing, sketched in pencil
Even iron will soften with heat, but beloved I’ve lost my fire
The toll of life has extinguished my flame
I’m exhausted by these ceaseless mind games
The eloquence in my voice is in vain,
Hoping they would surface in your consciousness by they sank rapidly
Into an ocean of overwhelming indifference
My intricacies are priceless, never-the-less there are places in me the
Light does not know, places that hold no semblance of happiness
In the face of my ugly and sinister will you embrace me with
Compassion? In your eyes will I meet graciousness?

Your knees buckle with the overwhelming urge to flee,
There things only for so long can you suppress
Perhaps you’re perplexed by my deep affections for blackness
Suddenly you don’t recognise my Nile warriors’ prowess
Familiar stranger, I toil to look past your day dress just to see that
You’re marvel in vast emptiness
We both lack self-awareness but you’re quick to call what is mine

Friend you were once an antidote for melancholy
But I feel the depths of your mind are still colonised
Now I realise
It’s childlike folly, the pendulum of superficial curiosity
Yesteryear I was a temple, so strangely words escape you
Now I am comparable to a tomb
Have you brand new eyes with which to gaze? Cause these eyes have
Failed to perceive the hue of your true intentions
Now I carry desolation in my womb

Your face was once an intense moonlight with a blue tint,
Now my magic you charge obscene corrosive, rust on iron, what’s it
Matter, this is nothing but a row between a ferocious antelope and a
Cowardice lion
Your world is aquatic but you know nothing of the melanin marine
I am right in front of you. I am air, I am light, I am water, yet I
Remain unseen
Your presence is pacifying in the realm where lust dances with
Desperation in hopes to keep loneliness at bay I am dumb-found that
We stand here and call it ‘vibing’
Have you ever seen a soul bereaved?
No wonder my body aches when you leave.
Now he pawns my treasures walks about with pieces of me in his
Pocket like loose change or old gum. My collar bone on his mouth, my
Smile dragging by his dirty boots in absence of sincerity I leave his
Lips bruised.
My worlds are flat and cold I struggle to whisper my tongues numb
I wear your disdain for me like a waist bead
Hiding from leery eyes I’ve read your character assassin’s creed

Ensnared in a misogynist culture
Your love bird is a scavenging vulture
Belly full but still grumbling, he comes to floss his teeth
with Femininity.
You’re infatuated with the idea of me, infatuated with the idea of
I’m drained not empty my silence is not in protest I’ve not an ounce of
Fight left.
You would be mad to think this body arts-less
Take several seats and bear witness to this Kemetic alchemy
I wrote you in
Smeared my thought of you in charcoal

I am blood orange, I have few edges and even fewer dreams

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