sealed tight for safety

By | 7 October 2021

i call my suburb the god district
because there’s a church on every corner
because the sunsets here are beautiful
because of all the retirement homes

here’s where i saw god this week:
on night-time concrete, while jumping, singing
the wattlebird watching me write this
my favourite cup shattering on the bathroom sink

i make dinner to Survivor
i get into bed with a nineteen year-old
scandinavian and his axe
he is building a log cabin from scratch
he is chipping at timber
he is knocking me asleep

i felt god in my almond magnum
that 7eleven is atop a hill
i can see the whole world
my parents tell me hello

there’s that final suck
before my window sip
is fully wound gulp
and the citylink gasp
is a world away

there’s the fact that
the muffle starts
before the ute hits your bonnet
and then there’s ringing

i’d like to make a shrine
in my living room
but i can’t find an altar on gumtree
and my hands have been so shaky lately
and chicken wire makes me bleed

shards of shattered blue
like sledgehammer to screen
like riverbank in sweden
in winter and
a strong man’s foot

when the log cabin is finished
and the doors is closed
it will be airtight
it will be silent

my grandmother is with white cotton now
and with the earth
her body will nourish the dirt and that graveyard
will become a mountain
it will be so high
and the sunsets will be beautiful

the muffle hits before the crash
and then there’s the bits on asphalt
the last time
i saw plastic shatter like that
it was a toy
i was twelve
i was in beirut
it was under a tyre

god saves my life every time i walk the creek and don’t fall in
i would not drown
i would be so stunned by the water
its yuckiness
that i would stay there forever

i found a frame
on facebook marketplace
it’s silver
like my birthname
but lost its luster
like my birthname
the frame
is for my grandmother
for the portrait of her that i love

and i saw a photo of a heron
eating a rat
in central park
the water is brown
the rat’s body is perfect

with arms and legs
click-locked in place
petrified like that and snapped
to stay that way

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