nothing ever really

By | 1 October 2020

i’m at the centre of something and yes, i can break through the plastic barrier of the thing i’m
in but then i will just be trapped again, this time in something bigger, and this process will go
on and on like a perfectly looped video: you are in a cocoon; you shed the cocoon; you
notice a clear film closing in on you; you are being vacuum packed again; the layers never
stop existing.

this is how i feel about politics and echo chambers

raw onions in your mouth: intrusive
and they stick like permanence
and then you add fire
and they are covered in soot
and they crumble
and they are like molasses: sweet
and they are like butter: slipping in and out

when i am in PALESTINE we wake up every day to the smell of sugar
from the bakery/ies downstairs and i feel sick like i am going to vomit

i want you to recall all the pictures
of pelicans after an oil spill
the ones that went viral for a week
then stopped circulating

because traveling when you’re coated in thick diesel slip
cannot last forever. we get tired. we all have to settle eventually

1. stop moving around so much
a. are you trying to go home?
i. yes
١. so…you’re finding somewhere new?
٢. so…you’re returning?
ii. no
١. good

go camping and get trapped in a place with no phone reception
(why are all your stories about being in places with no phone reception?)
when the boyfriend of the friend whose birthday you’re celebrating says
[ISRAEL]
alongside [REDACTED]
and alongside [REDACTED]
and alongside [R E _ _ D _ A C _ _ T _ _ _ _ _ _ _ E _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ D]
get more trapped than you were before

you are in a box now
you are always in a box that’s just how things work
but this one isn’t the right one

this is how i feel about politics and echo chambers

you are in a box now
and the box is a yellow dumpster
on jamal abdel nasser street
you are a cattle egret
in a yellow dumpster
on jamal abdel nasser street
even though you’re a waterbird
and Jenin is forty kilometres
from water
in either direction

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