By | 18 June 2017


to be an even sea
after a prevailing storm

to cry like a woman
who will destroy and devour at once


she sits in the sun moisturising her legs

she is thinking about her many dreams

she feels the chaos within herself

she is refined rage

she is hard and soft all at once

she is a little tired


there are many words in māori which mean
‘to destroy’

there are many different ways
to destroy something

only she will allow herself to be destroyed
her love will be extinguished

destruction can be a disappearance
or it can be a mass extinction

to ruin is not necessarily to annihilate


when the rain falls
the waterfalls on the steep cliffs flow

she goes to the hollowed out place
feels all the pain and affection for her ancestors

she moves to one side to cry
that is the marrow inside the bone being sucked out

she searches in the mountains
at the springs
in the trees and the birds
but she still cannot find it

the rain falls in drops


the girl is radiant

she is a name on a phone lit up in the dark

lonely autocorrects to lovely

she feels so lovely today

she wants to miss something
that is good and pure

she wants to become like a soft light

you say how good she looks
performing her femininity

while the male eats her with his gaze

she will be so radiant for you
she will fuck you up


she wakes from a dream
of having a baby in her belly

she could feel the weight of it
its movements, tiny hands pressing
into the warmth of her

she remembers thinking, “finally, something i can hold onto”

reaching her fingers down to her stomach
there is no life inside of it

only the pulse of her own heart vibrating
throughout her body


when she has finished her waiata
she hurls herself into paewai o te moana

her body will be swallowed up

she always thought she was
too gentle to destroy anything

but she has destroyed things before

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