for my wife
and our unborn daughter [håga]~
We cannot think of a time that is oceanless
Or of an ocean not littered with wastage—T.S. Eliot from ‘The Dry Salvages’
~
[she] is
drinking aglass of
filtered tap Brita Pitcher Plastic Water Filtration $24.99water when
she firstfeels [håga]
kicking—plasticfrom fukushima
litters thebeaches of
oʻahu gatheringplace [she]
is watchingan online
documentary abouthome birth—
part ofa comb
corner ofa crate
piece ofbottle cap—
[she] iscraving poke
fish eat ʻahi poke : $17.99 per lb at safeway in mānoa
preserved with carbon monoxide to promote color retention
fish that
eat plasticderived from
oil absorbedby tissue—
the doctorsrecommend [we]
schedule ac-section—if
you cutopen the
bellies oflarge birds
you willfind the
bristles of[our] tooth-
brushes—becauseamniotic fluid
is ninetypercent water
because every 4-pack replacement filters $24.99body births
plastic neverdis- so-
lv- e- s~
before i first
visit [her] in
kaʻaʻawa—beforewe eat ʻahi
limu poke at
the beach—beforewe wash [our]
hands in salt
water and foragethe tide for
shells—before we
learn [our] bodylanguages before
i mistake trade
winds for herhair—before my
tongue dives—before
[we] come againstwreckage—before [we]
close our eyes
to see whatdarkness asks [us]
to let go—
before chickens crowthe sun rising—
before i knew
i would stay—before vowels and
consonants—before was
pō—first darknessbirthing [our] sea
of moving islands—~
i tinituhon—
[she] is breathing—
at home under a muku moon—
every island is an end and a beginning—
we time the contractions—
neither ocean nor oceanless—
thirty minutes apart—
hacha hugua tulu fatfat lima—
“imagine each contraction is a wave”
says the voice on the hypno-birthing app—$9.99—
the alphabet is a collection of bone hooks—
neither arrival nor departure—
i place my hand on [her] darkened piko—
neither origin nor destination—
sounding lines measure night passing—
should [we] go to the hospital?
~
dear fu’una, first
mother, this is
my first prayerto you, full
of questions: taotao
manu hao? whereare you from?
what made you
leave your firsthome? war, disease,
rising tides? so
many of [us]have left guåhan,
deployed to faraway
bases—dear fu’una,dispensa yu’, i
lost [our] first
language in transit,first words become
ghost islands—fu’una,
first sister, whatdid you carry
aboard the canoe?
hacha hugua tulufatfat lima—i
carried my passport,
baseball cards, andcoin collection aboard
i batkon aire
to san francisco—how did you
let go?~
during RIMPAC 2014
~
when [håga]
was newborn[she] rinses
her inthe sink—
atrazine inthe water—
a fatpilot whale
deafened bysonar washes
ashore hanaleibay—now
that [håga]is bigger
[she] bathesher in
the tub,cleans behind
her ears,sings, “my
island maui,”written by
her dad,jeff, whose
ashes werescattered in
māʻalaea harbor,decades ago—
schools ofrecently spawned
fish, lifeless,litter the
tidelines ofnānākuli and
māʻili, koʻolinaand waikīkī—
when wefirst take
[håga] tothe beach,
[she] carriesher into
the water,hanom hanom
hanom, DUmunitions, PCBs,
SINKEX—[she]secures [håga]
tightly toher chest—
what willthe weapons,
ships, aircraftsand soldiers
of 22nations take
from [us]?i wrap
them ina large
towel whenthey return
to sand—“i introduced
[håga] tograndpa jeff,”
[she] says—is oceania
memorial ortarget? monument
or territory?economic zone
or mākua?a cold
salt windsurges across
the beach—[we] shiver
like generationsof coral
reef bleaching—
Notes:
Understory: in ecological studies, ‘understory’ refers to the plant life that grows beneath
the canopy of the forest, and consists of a diversity of shrubs, saplings, fungi, and seedlings.Pō: In the Hawaiian belief system, Pō is the creative darkness from which all things emerged.
Fu’una: In the Chamorro belief system, Fu’una is the mother of creation that gave birth to the
Chamorro people. Worship of Fu’una was displaced by the missionization of Guam and replaced
by Catholic beliefs of creation.Poke: Hawaiian dish made with raw fish.
I tinituhon: Chamorro for ‘The Beginning.’
Hacha hugua tulu fatfat lima: Chamorro for ‘one two three four five.’
Dispensa yu’: Chamorro for ‘forgive me.’
Piko: Hawaiian for ʻnavel.ʻ
Mākua: Hawaiian for ‘parent.
I batkon aire: Chamorro for ‘airplane’ (literally, ‘air boat’).
Hanom hanom hanom: Chamorro for ‘water water water’
DU munitions: DU stands for ‘Depleted Uranium.’
SINKEX: Military term that refers to a ‘Sink Exercise,’ in which an unmanned target ship is
used for torpedo or missile testing, sinking decommissioned warships in the Pacific.RIMPAC: Military term for ‘Rim of the Pacific Exercise,’ the largest international maritime
wartime exercise that takes place biannually in the waters around Hawaiʻi. In 2014, the year
my daughter was born, twenty-two nations participated in RIMPAC.For more on the territorisation of the ocean.
Various covers of Jeff McDougall’s song, ‘My Island Maui,’ can be listened to on YouTube.
- 115: SPACE
with A Sometimes
114: NO THEME 13
with J Toledo & C Tse
113: INVISIBLE WALLS
with A Walker & D Disney
112: TREAT
with T Dearborn
111: BABY
with S Deo & L Ferney
110: POP!
with Z Frost & B Jessen
109: NO THEME 12
with C Maling & N Rhook
108: DEDICATION
with L Patterson & L Garcia-Dolnik
107: LIMINAL
with B Li
106: OPEN
with C Lowe & J Langdon
105: NO THEME 11
with E Grills & E Stewart
104: KIN
with E Shiosaki
103: AMBLE
with E Gomez and S Gory
102: GAME
with R Green and J Maxwell
101: NO THEME 10
with J Kinsella and J Leanne
100: BROWNFACE
with W S Dunn
99: SINGAPORE
with J Ip and A Pang
97 & 98: PROPAGANDA
with M Breeze and S Groth
96: NO THEME IX
with M Gill and J Thayil
95: EARTH
with M Takolander
94: BAYT
with Z Hashem Beck
93: PEACH
with L Van, G Mouratidis, L Toong
92: NO THEME VIII
with C Gaskin
91: MONSTER
with N Curnow
90: AFRICAN DIASPORA
with S Umar
89: DOMESTIC
with N Harkin
88: TRANSQUEER
with S Barnes and Q Eades
87: DIFFICULT
with O Schwartz & H Isemonger
86: NO THEME VII
with L Gorton
85: PHILIPPINES
with Mookie L and S Lua
84: SUBURBIA
with L Brown and N O'Reilly
83: MATHEMATICS
with F Hile
82: LAND
with J Stuart and J Gibian
81: NEW CARIBBEAN
with V Lucien
80: NO THEME VI
with J Beveridge
57.1: EKPHRASTIC
with C Atherton and P Hetherington
57: CONFESSION
with K Glastonbury
56: EXPLODE
with D Disney
55.1: DALIT / INDIGENOUS
with M Chakraborty and K MacCarter
55: FUTURE MACHINES
with Bella Li
54: NO THEME V
with F Wright and O Sakr
53.0: THE END
with P Brown
52.0: TOIL
with C Jenkins
51.1: UMAMI
with L Davies and Lifted Brow
51.0: TRANSTASMAN
with B Cassidy
50.0: NO THEME IV
with J Tranter
49.1: A BRITISH / IRISH
with M Hall and S Seita
49.0: OBSOLETE
with T Ryan
48.1: CANADA
with K MacCarter and S Rhodes
48.0: CONSTRAINT
with C Wakeling
47.0: COLLABORATION
with L Armand and H Lambert
46.1: MELBOURNE
with M Farrell
46.0: NO THEME III
with F Plunkett
45.0: SILENCE
with J Owen
44.0: GONDWANALAND
with D Motion
43.1: PUMPKIN
with K MacCarter
43.0: MASQUE
with A Vickery
42.0: NO THEME II
with G Ryan
41.1: RATBAGGERY
with D Hose
41.0: TRANSPACIFIC
with J Rowe and M Nardone
40.1: INDONESIA
with K MacCarter
40.0: INTERLOCUTOR
with L Hart
39.1: GIBBERBIRD
with S Gory
39.0: JACKPOT!
with S Wagan Watson
38.0: SYDNEY
with A Lorange
37.1: NEBRASKA
with S Whalen
37.0: NO THEME!
with A Wearne
36.0: ELECTRONICA
with J Jones