“Here she is” they say of my body.
I lifted my breasts into my clothing this morning.
I say. I am a man for all weathers. A man
for all withers. You said: The horse is loose.
I capital I capital I start these sentences in my
head on the night I have an existential crisis
about my gender. I am a man because I think
I am a man. I am in this body of hips and
that wet cave between my legs. You say your
father is a woman. I say she makes sense. I’m
a woman but no one takes these breasts seriously.
There’s only so far I can get in this. Men want me
to be a woman. You want me to be a woman. I am
the praying mantis destroyer of worlds and you can’t
explain why you want to be devoured. Acting out
woman in this woman shape is standing on the
ground while people fly around me. I am a bird of
cheeping and plumage. No one said a word about
flying. Is this a telescope of longing? Am I upside
down and my brain transforms the image? It’s all
in the bricks. It’s me the plasterer, the decorator,
the twin of my twin. I am the grand misogynist
behind the curtain, my cunt a billow of satin lining.
Or I’m just kidding myself sweetly. Where to now
with this wilting self I’ve kept in a jar? See me as a
woman-man shape. See me as I back flip back into
myself. See me as I disappear when I can’t hold the
ideas inside me. Daily, I am a woman climbing default.
- 101: NO THEME 10COMING SOON with J Kinsella and J Leanne 100: BROWNFACECOMING SOON! with W S Dunn 99: SINGAPOREwith J Ip and A Pang 97 & 98: PROPAGANDAwith M Breeze and S Groth 96: NO THEME IXwith M Gill and J Thayil 95: EARTHwith M Takolander 94: BAYTwith Z Hashem Beck 93: PEACHwith L Van, G Mouratidis, L Toong 92: NO THEME VIIIwith C Gaskin 91: MONSTERwith N Curnow 90: AFRICAN DIASPORAwith S Umar 89: DOMESTICwith N Harkin 88: TRANSQUEERwith S Barnes and Q Eades 87: DIFFICULTwith O Schwartz & H Isemonger 86: NO THEME VIIwith L Gorton 85: PHILIPPINESwith Mookie L and S Lua 84: SUBURBIAwith L Brown and N O'Reilly 83: MATHEMATICSwith F Hile 82: LANDwith J Stuart and J Gibian 81: NEW CARIBBEANwith V Lucien 80: NO THEME VIwith J Beveridge 57.1: EKPHRASTICwith C Atherton and P Hetherington 57: CONFESSIONwith K Glastonbury 56: EXPLODE with D Disney 55.1: DALIT / INDIGENOUSwith M Chakraborty and K MacCarter 55: FUTURE MACHINES with Bella Li 54: NO THEME V with F Wright and O Sakr 53.0: THE END with P Brown 52.0: TOIL with C Jenkins 51.1: UMAMI with L Davies and Lifted Brow 51.0: TRANSTASMAN with B Cassidy 50.0: NO THEME IV with J Tranter 49.1: A BRITISH / IRISH with M Hall and S Seita 49.0: OBSOLETE with T Ryan 48.1: CANADA with K MacCarter and S Rhodes 48.0: CONSTRAINT with C Wakeling 47.0: COLLABORATION with L Armand and H Lambert 46.1: MELBOURNE with M Farrell 46.0: NO THEME III with F Plunkett 45.0: SILENCE with J Owen 44.0: GONDWANALAND with D Motion 43.1: PUMPKIN with K MacCarter 43.0: MASQUE with A Vickery 42.0: NO THEME II with G Ryan 41.1: RATBAGGERY with D Hose 41.0: TRANSPACIFIC with J Rowe and M Nardone 40.1: INDONESIA with K MacCarter 40.0: INTERLOCUTOR with L Hart 39.1: GIBBERBIRD with S Gory 39.0: JACKPOT! with S Wagan Watson 38.0: SYDNEY with A Lorange 37.1: NEBRASKA with S Whalen 37.0: NO THEME! with A Wearne 36.0: ELECTRONICA with J Jones