1
irreverence of being a baby
amniotic fluid sonic bubble & blood
i find you forget you
the heart’s action & breathing
i keep forgetting you
makes spontaneous gesture possible
but you remember me
our conference about breastfeeding
i lose you feel sad
come to recognise
radical alienation from our
body / use you as not-me
utterly dependently falling for
ever morbid & bad
blockbuster Oedipal bad
met by ordinary devotion
my anti-interpretive delinquent mood
my dirty mirthful
queer as pregnancy itself
2
no such thing as reproduction
only acts of production
inching toward the state he
thinks we’re all girls
writing echoes uncannily
shot through w/ darkness
don’t have to be disappointments
came from the fluid world
still clouding thru memes
the me & the not-me rage
that what is good is always being
destroyed for feeling real as she comes
to know me as real / just
another human animal among us
flying anuses / speeding vaginas
having been gathered together
held w/out a point / a lack
no memory save the sense
3
our body grew stranger experienced
surges of heat ghosts
who proclaim w/out these sheets
we would be invisible
spinning in the murk of cells
are programmed to unfurl & you can’t
reverse this helix of hope & fear it’s dark
we develop even in utero
in response to a flow of projections
reflections that ricochet
loose & hot in our house
made from stuffed-up stars we materials
may never leave this world recycling our
many whats made from wheres unwittingly
backed into a paradox paranoid-tending
we tend to bend in order
to develop & diss eminate
there is nothing you can throw at us
that we cannot metabolise
4
another form of paranoid i
slash them out //
edit myself
into gendered baggage sorry
for the confusion
sorry for whatever sorry
there are many speakers
who allow themselves the tremblings the lovers
& exes that make up
the mood half-dressed & staring
juts out of focus
you glimpse something radishingly intimate
a window my danger
a cloud my suffering
sunlight my nihilism
sex my abject ions
nine-tenths of the words i’ve stolen
are free but there’s no escaping
toxic material / the self
w/out sympathetic attachments
is either a fliction
or a lunar tic perhaps
it laced my ilk
5
the subtlefugue of my life’s
intervals of sun followed
by veils of red light
no real night will aspire to contain my shit
shadow on a wall
w/out a will to power we purr
or flee & demur / shift & refuse / write
slick amphibious
amorphing shapes of self
specular pleasure
in drag as thief or murderer
become our own stalker start smoking
again / difference happens
when the pleasure’s not only taken but
openly displaced in fragments
make a portal swing open
6
preserving the radical radishes
i have a bad habit of deeming myself lost
a little spooked by text
do you want to be right or
d’you wanna connect
i started leaving my charms at home
which asked too much to rent
the aim is not to answer questions
it’s to get out / get out of it
the air was hot
pro-Babel & shooting white eggs
bulbous beautiful
tears sprouted
ready to burst
we could be fucking the specific forces
that mobilise & crouch
behind us on this piled endangered planet
tiny being in difficulty
proposing an
alternat
ive
7
albeit stripped of pronouns
structurally vulnerable to being
hated or resented by somone
frothing in cargo
shorts i acquiesce into
participating in a belief system
that litotes its den
omination as metaphysical
that overestimates the maturity of adults
& fields unwanted //
monologues from
a cab driver //
just as ice has
no coordinates
a bloom of drops rose
indifferent to my doubts my
snowball self does not
wanna rep //
resent
8
people are in/different from each
other at the infinity pool
plural & specific
at deep play in the makeshift
Wolf Man’s memory of his parents’ encounter
& the girl having the feathers sewn onto her butt
easy to get juiced up
your brain doesn’t easily switch
not the same thing as in an ontological either/or
succumbs to the temptation to master
any gender any sentient being
no longer able to rip or delve into subversion
their light towers flooding
with titular features
think of how freaked
some people get
that the anus has tons of nerves
needs to be able to discriminate by feel
between solid / liquid / gas
part of mainstream domesticity
our studio w/ orange shaft lavender shadow
inviting more night storms to come
bash at the reality of my fantasy
protected by a force field
right to be free
9
not on my way in any way anywhere
a feeling of & a feeling of but
& a feeling of bi
you didn’t get the meme shel
lacking over their version of reality
genitalia of all stripes are all
slimy & pendulous & repulsive / / / what
even smell of a-holes beyond wanting or
being wanted
ashamed & undaunted i refuse to
engage in terms for ums like you
because of all the triangulation
my dirty secret has always been that
this is of course about me
for another by virtue of another
the shit stays messy
for the loosening that needs to happen
in order to speak a windswept kind
of edible twilight becoming animal
becoming molecular a thick bank of
rainbow above got sober
before i got wireless
10
words change depending on who speaks
the wings each flies w/
letting an individual fuck take
precedence over a categorical one
our unwitting collaboration
which i emerge from abandoned
to admit or omit every appearance of May
gender be more than just colour
collapse w/ all his gear on
in a paroxysm of will she know i’m good
on gleaming dark wood
floors me
(we look happy
now that there are
children in my life
it was our mountain
along w/ a sun cloud & two birds)
or will she mistake me
for an evil twin in triangle skirt
as a means of making peace w/ a
bummer i feel a loose sense
our flickering nature
/ nurture
11
i roll my eyes from the floor
“feeling real” is so moving
twenty-four hours a day soaked
in the immediate awareness of your sex
i rework the traps the happiness police patrol
give the state the flip
someone once policed your mouth
exploring slivers of light
filtered thru the paradigm we baffled
w/ ardour
you survive what i do to you
such ordinary self-serving we inter
lope & enter whatever shit
storm comes on sure
we can play Baby Bear
speech impediment games but these recalcitrant
mispronunciations get cold feet
in the epic line of frothy lunatics
their GOD HATES
(fill in the blank) signs
bewildered at the nature of today
crowded & contrary
the winternet promised
cheap gothic mandates
on a beach w/ a peach faux finish
[‘Argo Notes’ is ostensibly collaged from The Argonauts (2015), by Maggie Nelson]
- 115: SPACE
with A Sometimes
114: NO THEME 13
with J Toledo & C Tse
113: INVISIBLE WALLS
with A Walker & D Disney
112: TREAT
with T Dearborn
111: BABY
with S Deo & L Ferney
110: POP!
with Z Frost & B Jessen
109: NO THEME 12
with C Maling & N Rhook
108: DEDICATION
with L Patterson & L Garcia-Dolnik
107: LIMINAL
with B Li
106: OPEN
with C Lowe & J Langdon
105: NO THEME 11
with E Grills & E Stewart
104: KIN
with E Shiosaki
103: AMBLE
with E Gomez and S Gory
102: GAME
with R Green and J Maxwell
101: NO THEME 10
with J Kinsella and J Leanne
100: BROWNFACE
with W S Dunn
99: SINGAPORE
with J Ip and A Pang
97 & 98: PROPAGANDA
with M Breeze and S Groth
96: NO THEME IX
with M Gill and J Thayil
95: EARTH
with M Takolander
94: BAYT
with Z Hashem Beck
93: PEACH
with L Van, G Mouratidis, L Toong
92: NO THEME VIII
with C Gaskin
91: MONSTER
with N Curnow
90: AFRICAN DIASPORA
with S Umar
89: DOMESTIC
with N Harkin
88: TRANSQUEER
with S Barnes and Q Eades
87: DIFFICULT
with O Schwartz & H Isemonger
86: NO THEME VII
with L Gorton
85: PHILIPPINES
with Mookie L and S Lua
84: SUBURBIA
with L Brown and N O'Reilly
83: MATHEMATICS
with F Hile
82: LAND
with J Stuart and J Gibian
81: NEW CARIBBEAN
with V Lucien
80: NO THEME VI
with J Beveridge
57.1: EKPHRASTIC
with C Atherton and P Hetherington
57: CONFESSION
with K Glastonbury
56: EXPLODE
with D Disney
55.1: DALIT / INDIGENOUS
with M Chakraborty and K MacCarter
55: FUTURE MACHINES
with Bella Li
54: NO THEME V
with F Wright and O Sakr
53.0: THE END
with P Brown
52.0: TOIL
with C Jenkins
51.1: UMAMI
with L Davies and Lifted Brow
51.0: TRANSTASMAN
with B Cassidy
50.0: NO THEME IV
with J Tranter
49.1: A BRITISH / IRISH
with M Hall and S Seita
49.0: OBSOLETE
with T Ryan
48.1: CANADA
with K MacCarter and S Rhodes
48.0: CONSTRAINT
with C Wakeling
47.0: COLLABORATION
with L Armand and H Lambert
46.1: MELBOURNE
with M Farrell
46.0: NO THEME III
with F Plunkett
45.0: SILENCE
with J Owen
44.0: GONDWANALAND
with D Motion
43.1: PUMPKIN
with K MacCarter
43.0: MASQUE
with A Vickery
42.0: NO THEME II
with G Ryan
41.1: RATBAGGERY
with D Hose
41.0: TRANSPACIFIC
with J Rowe and M Nardone
40.1: INDONESIA
with K MacCarter
40.0: INTERLOCUTOR
with L Hart
39.1: GIBBERBIRD
with S Gory
39.0: JACKPOT!
with S Wagan Watson
38.0: SYDNEY
with A Lorange
37.1: NEBRASKA
with S Whalen
37.0: NO THEME!
with A Wearne
36.0: ELECTRONICA
with J Jones
