My companion thinks she’s too good for me. Do me a favor, huh?
Put her down with some of your poetry. That’ll make her sorry.
— Petronius, Satyricon
Marcus Valerius Martialis,
your braggart swaggery
it’s savoir unfaire.
Martial, oh Martial,
maligning the mammary gland-gifted,
knee-slapping kicks in the teeth.
True to your Mars-esque moniker,
you wage war with gut-busting barbs.
bazookas to bazooms
Was Lesbia’s natis that humungous,
cheeks like Symplegades, really?
sodomizing her culus:
all hail the archaic wedgie!
You’re not pinguiarius, but Flaccus
— poor Flaccus —
doesn’t measure up, either, does she?
Hips dipped in cheese-grating
steel saw-like spine:
“Girl can’t be mine! Not with those shins,”
or that coccyx like a javelin.
Your cock requires exquisite palpation
no amateur choking your chicken
like virago Phyllis
with snagging acrylics
thumb-strum-throttling your membrum virile.
This inventory of misogyny
is hardly unabridged,
urtext extending far
longer than Martial’s mentula,
Flaccus and Phyllis
paying the vitriol caust.
Fella tore a strip off these ladies,
but who’s the real fellator here?
“My Lord and my God”
— Jesus what a slog —
flattering Domitian in the kitchen
sink filled with vomit as you
compare his locks to laurel tendrils
tormenting weasel calumniator
creep nogoodnik louse
swine slimeball SOB
cock-sucking fucking ratbag!
nineteen hundred years dead bully
I hope you get scurvy!
blue balls stone ache and corpse.
Forever cease your
epiglottal lip flapping
Martial, oh Martial,
you epigrammatist grump!
- FREE: 20 Poets anthology
- 93: PEACHSUBMIT to L Van, G Mouratidis, L Toong 92: NO THEME VIIICOMING SOON with C Gaskin 91: MONSTERwith N Curnow 90: AFRO AUSTRALIANwith S Umar 89: DOMESTICwith N Harkin 88: TRANSQUEERwith S Barnes and Q Eades 87: DIFFICULTwith O Schwartz & H Isemonger 86: NO THEME VIIwith L Gorton 85: PHILIPPINESwith Mookie L and S Lua 84: SUBURBIAwith L Brown and N O'Reilly 83: MATHEMATICSwith F Hile 82: LANDwith J Stuart and J Gibian 81: NEW CARIBBEANwith V Lucien 80: NO THEME VIwith J Beveridge 57.1: EKPHRASTICwith C Atherton and P Hetherington 57: CONFESSIONwith K Glastonbury 56: EXPLODE with D Disney 55.1: DALIT / INDIGENOUSwith M Chakraborty and K MacCarter 55: FUTURE MACHINES with Bella Li 54: NO THEME V with F Wright and O Sakr 53.0: THE END with P Brown 52.0: TOIL with C Jenkins 51.1: UMAMI with L Davies and Lifted Brow 51.0: TRANSTASMAN with B Cassidy 50.0: NO THEME IV with J Tranter 49.1: A BRITISH / IRISH with M Hall and S Seita 49.0: OBSOLETE with T Ryan 48.1: CANADA with K MacCarter and S Rhodes 48.0: CONSTRAINT with C Wakeling 47.0: COLLABORATION with L Armand and H Lambert 46.1: MELBOURNE with M Farrell 46.0: NO THEME III with F Plunkett 45.0: SILENCE with J Owen 44.0: GONDWANALAND with D Motion 43.1: PUMPKIN with K MacCarter 43.0: MASQUE with A Vickery 42.0: NO THEME II with G Ryan 41.1: RATBAGGERY with D Hose 41.0: TRANSPACIFIC with J Rowe and M Nardone 40.1: INDONESIA with K MacCarter 40.0: INTERLOCUTOR with L Hart 39.1: GIBBERBIRD with S Gory 39.0: JACKPOT! with S Wagan Watson 38.0: SYDNEY with A Lorange 37.1: NEBRASKA with S Whalen 37.0: NO THEME! with A Wearne 36.0: ELECTRONICA with J Jones
- Introduction to Zenobia Frost’s After the Demolition
- Phillip Hall Reviews Robert Harris’s The Gang of One: Selected Poems
- Adam Ford Reviews Rae White’s Milk Teeth and Anders Villani’s Aril Wire
- Jennifer Mackenzie Reviews Elif Sezen’s A little book of unspoken history
- Introduction to Charmaine Papertalk Green’s Nganajungu Yagu
- Brigid Magner Reviews Michele Leggott’s Vanishing Points and Elizabeth Smither’s Night Horse
- Jack Kelly Reviews Liam Ferney’s Hot Take
- Submission to Cordite 93: PEACH
- Introduction to Cordite 91: MONSTER
- Poetry, Whatsoever: Blake, Blau DuPlessis, and an Expansive Definition of the Poem
- On Being Sanguine: Two Years of Panic and a Response to Terror in Christchurch
- A Deaf Rough Trade: Defending Poetry to ‘regular people’
- 12 Panels by Chris Gooch
- 5 Translated Yosuke Tanaka Poems
- A Buzz in the Retina: On Translating Luljeta Lleshanaku
- ‘That is some crafty bite’: Trisha Pender Interviews Melinda Bufton
- ‘You’re never disembodied from the action’: Dylan Frusher Interviews Judith Beveridge
- Excerpts from Neon Daze
- Chorography and Toute-eau in the Waters of Lower Murray Country
- 6 Poems from Robin M Eames
- Aussi / Or: Un Coup de dés and Mistranslation in the Antipodes
- Every other Friday
- I Still Love Without My Head
- Heath Ledger’s Joker
- Only fair