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By | 1 October 2020

Loneliness comes out of the toilet bowl with a flashlight.
This happens in the middle of the night but also the afternoon.
Sometimes you find it screaming around and around,
Sometimes you feel a flushing in your throat. Think
Of the violence as thick images glazed onto porcelain with
Blood/ decide on the aggressiveness of the word schlack
Twenty-thousand black squares hovering before your eyes
Shadow-box the hallucination yell whack/whack whack.
Now stick your head in the water. The roots of your hair
Will pull your scalp outwards until it feels like a hat.
Remove the hat. You are inside. It is impolite.
Flush yourself again. Press the steel button down
Slowly, tenderly, there is an intimacy in self-disgust
A sharpness to harness. Keep at it. Forget your
Passwords. There is only glass in the bowl now
Glass in your mouth now, each big tooth clenched
Inside. Other grooves chalking grooves flush.
Flush again, swirling is swirling the light your white
Hand reaching out with nail clippings. Press them into
A palm. Think of Love. Think of the purple flowers
When you extend your thumb. The dog trapped in
The ceiling fan whimpering. The faulty wiring. The oil
Sea beneath the earth. Dancing on the bar in galoshes
For the blood. Missed messages. That shit in the pipes
That diluted the sun. I want you to understand that this
Is not self-immolation. Not a colour. Sometimes you will
Be tempted. Keep moving, flush again.

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