do you ever find yourself reading poems

just to see what people who actually get published

are writing these days?
or sniff your clothes in the washing basket

even though you know they’re dirty?
I do 
         it’s like I realised today I have

only ever had a very middle-class experience

of drugs
               never rich enough to justify a habit

or know intimately enough anyone who is a dealer

& can give me drugs for free
I go places all the time

where I’m the only person with an iPhone X

but I pay $13 for a pint without blinking
                     is it the same for you?
when people offer you a line

you know it’s a flex

something a little less severe than pity 
            here’s a taste of the wealth

            you don’t have

                                          enjoy!
anyway cut to

me in this borrowed jacket

me in these second-hand shoes

getting to live in that world for 20 minutes 
                          which is a much-needed break

                          from constantly worrying if

                          my card is going to be declined
& suddenly

wisdom hits!
it’s another way of realising you’re

30 years old still surviving on hand-me-downs

& hand outs

                          but briefly not caring
like Phil Collins in the gorilla suit

   it has been drummed into me

        to look past status symbols
big cars or flashy ones

sneakers without laces

home ownership

art that is not a print

jet-skis

bags 
                          you see through them 
            these will make you feel good

for a bit

               which is kind of wonderful 
we all need the serotonin
                      better than hate-reading this poem

only because it has been published in POETRY

just to make myself feel shit 
a line from it I quote here
making love, one eye on the window



                          because despite its best attempts to convince



        the high never lasts