I like Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, especially the cartoon shapes like Animaniacs, but my friend loves Velveeta because it looks just like the commercial — like waves of flowing yellow lava, like Jello pudding, except cheese. I find Velveeta cheese gross. Why does it taste like plastic? Why is it gooey, like snot? That friend also has the Kraft American Cheese slices, the kind in individual pieces of plastic you have to pick and peel at awkwardly with your fingernails to unwrap. Mom refuses to buy Kraft American Cheese slices because they are too expensive, my four siblings and I will eat them too quickly. When I’m sleeping over at that friend’s house and I get hungry in the night–I am always hungry in the night, and in the day too–I go to my friend’s fridge, snatch a slice and then sit on the toilet. I fold the cheese into tiny squares I pop in my mouth, one by one. Imagine myself a small, organised rodent. Back home, hot dogs shot through with neon orange cheese. I eat them straight out of the fridge, cold cheese squishing between my teeth, and my fingers smell like hot dogs when I go to bed. And then there is EZ-Cheese, which I spray into my mouth straight from the nozzle like Pauly Shore in A Goofy Movie, although I also sometimes eat it normally, on crackers. I microwave that hunk of Costco cheddar, nuked to crisp corners, a soft pool of grease in the centre of the bowl. Jab and twist at it with my fork, unfurling strands of radioactive orange. Actual string cheese? I peel into the thinnest, stringiest strips possible. In my school lunch, I have that, and Kraft Handi Snacks. I run out of the cheese spread for the Handi-Snacks halfway through, and throw the rest of the crackers away, even though I’m still hungry. Scoop the dirt from my nails with the red plastic cheese spreader stick. But on the best days, we get Cheez-Its, the supreme cheese crackers by far. Shoving our dirty hands in the box while we watch Hook on VHS, competing for bursting handfuls, faster, faster, until mom takes the box or it’s all gone. Cheese Nips are rip-off Cheez-its and they taste like rip-offs, but they’re better than nothing. Better Cheddars are light and round, which is a nice change from all the square crackers, but the flavour is weak, so you forget they’re even cheese. I could eat a ham and cheese hot pocket for every meal, even though I always burn my mouth out. There’s nothing worse than Goldfish crackers. Only babies like them. Pizza Hut is my favourite pizza, especially the oozing hot cheese-filled crust, which I have choked on more than once, but it’s worth it.
- 115: SPACE
with A Sometimes
114: NO THEME 13
with J Toledo & C Tse
113: INVISIBLE WALLS
with A Walker & D Disney
112: TREAT
with T Dearborn
111: BABY
with S Deo & L Ferney
110: POP!
with Z Frost & B Jessen
109: NO THEME 12
with C Maling & N Rhook
108: DEDICATION
with L Patterson & L Garcia-Dolnik
107: LIMINAL
with B Li
106: OPEN
with C Lowe & J Langdon
105: NO THEME 11
with E Grills & E Stewart
104: KIN
with E Shiosaki
103: AMBLE
with E Gomez and S Gory
102: GAME
with R Green and J Maxwell
101: NO THEME 10
with J Kinsella and J Leanne
100: BROWNFACE
with W S Dunn
99: SINGAPORE
with J Ip and A Pang
97 & 98: PROPAGANDA
with M Breeze and S Groth
96: NO THEME IX
with M Gill and J Thayil
95: EARTH
with M Takolander
94: BAYT
with Z Hashem Beck
93: PEACH
with L Van, G Mouratidis, L Toong
92: NO THEME VIII
with C Gaskin
91: MONSTER
with N Curnow
90: AFRICAN DIASPORA
with S Umar
89: DOMESTIC
with N Harkin
88: TRANSQUEER
with S Barnes and Q Eades
87: DIFFICULT
with O Schwartz & H Isemonger
86: NO THEME VII
with L Gorton
85: PHILIPPINES
with Mookie L and S Lua
84: SUBURBIA
with L Brown and N O'Reilly
83: MATHEMATICS
with F Hile
82: LAND
with J Stuart and J Gibian
81: NEW CARIBBEAN
with V Lucien
80: NO THEME VI
with J Beveridge
57.1: EKPHRASTIC
with C Atherton and P Hetherington
57: CONFESSION
with K Glastonbury
56: EXPLODE
with D Disney
55.1: DALIT / INDIGENOUS
with M Chakraborty and K MacCarter
55: FUTURE MACHINES
with Bella Li
54: NO THEME V
with F Wright and O Sakr
53.0: THE END
with P Brown
52.0: TOIL
with C Jenkins
51.1: UMAMI
with L Davies and Lifted Brow
51.0: TRANSTASMAN
with B Cassidy
50.0: NO THEME IV
with J Tranter
49.1: A BRITISH / IRISH
with M Hall and S Seita
49.0: OBSOLETE
with T Ryan
48.1: CANADA
with K MacCarter and S Rhodes
48.0: CONSTRAINT
with C Wakeling
47.0: COLLABORATION
with L Armand and H Lambert
46.1: MELBOURNE
with M Farrell
46.0: NO THEME III
with F Plunkett
45.0: SILENCE
with J Owen
44.0: GONDWANALAND
with D Motion
43.1: PUMPKIN
with K MacCarter
43.0: MASQUE
with A Vickery
42.0: NO THEME II
with G Ryan
41.1: RATBAGGERY
with D Hose
41.0: TRANSPACIFIC
with J Rowe and M Nardone
40.1: INDONESIA
with K MacCarter
40.0: INTERLOCUTOR
with L Hart
39.1: GIBBERBIRD
with S Gory
39.0: JACKPOT!
with S Wagan Watson
38.0: SYDNEY
with A Lorange
37.1: NEBRASKA
with S Whalen
37.0: NO THEME!
with A Wearne
36.0: ELECTRONICA
with J Jones