The phone call went badly,
again – the old arguments about
how you were never a mother to me,
and why, why couldn’t you just love me
as if such hurts had answers.
The weeping – so blue, so literary.
At fifty, she was still stuck
on the old suppurating wound,
repeating the same accusations.
the damage you’ve done.”
She didn’t want her to think she’d
survived it unscathed. Not ever.
She’d worked so hard to become
something she wasn’t.
Someone must be to blame.
She was so clean,
so impossibly clever –
how could she not be happy?
this unformed artist weighed down
by other people’s baggage.
When the mother said:
“You have to work with it, use it,
create with it”…,
“Stop talking over the top of me.”
It was like saying get rid of your self.
Knowing herself that well,
she hardly knew what she was.
Billy Marshall Stoneking
Mothers & Daughters
1 May 2015