1

You are twelve years old. You are in the process of being eaten by the yeti.

         Sit on the stairs, head in your hands, and be eaten.

Cry in the shower on page 98, the yeti getting its fur wet                  as it chews.

                                    Sleep late.                     Go for a walk.                   Wrap a cord

         around your wrist, which feels like being eaten –
until the yeti arrives on the next page                          which feels more

like being eaten

                                               by the yeti.



         2

See a GP who doesn’t bulk-bill, but is open-handed

with prescriptions. Turn to page 26.

                                                                            You are consumed in the waiting room.

Two years of talk therapy with a woman who treats arsonists.

Turn to page 41.                                              Yeti enjoys a flambe.  
Twenty milligrams of Fluoxetine.                    Page 61.                                     Yeti.



         3

Here is your government-subsidised Yeti Evaluation. How often

         did you feel that being eaten                              was making you nervous?

Are you upset by the sight of a carving knife, or a yeti

                                                                                            purchasing barbeque sauce?
If your evaluation is eaten

         apply for a replacement (turn to page 23) or (turn to page 23) or

get eaten

                                               by the yeti.



         4

         Set fire to your psych’s office. Set fire to your own life. Set fire to the yeti

who eats you

                        while its head burns. Keep a journal of yeti consumption.

Turn it into a kind of recipe book

                                                for the yeti.        Braise yourself.
Turn to page 76, where a yeti 	                                                 sets the table.



         5

Think about your breathing. Focus on page 38.

Focus on each limb.                                                    Imagine your arms disappearing

         into the great white maw. Focus on how air exits your lungs                 as a yeti

bites down. 
                        Put ice on your wrist. Snap a hair tie. List every white object in the room.

                        I’ll start:

                                                    One – the yeti.



         6

Sit in your GP’s waiting room for three hours. Save a magazine for the yeti. Go off your

meds. Read a guidebook to the Himalayas. Turn to page 10. Read about a woman in love

with a yeti. 
Attend a yeti dissection. Attend several. Eat from the tray of entrails as it goes by.

Read a cookbook. Love the mountains for three hours. Sit with your meds. Turn to page 56.
You are eaten by the yeti.