I Find the Cosmic Tree

By | 15 May 2023

Through the tunnelling of worms
Rain sweats its fermented gold

Tipsiness kicks in
I am here, next to the Cosmic Tree

On the street, I pick up a bunch of
Geraldton wax, three words in my mind

Recuring: disruptive, child-like, weird
Am I what I thought I would end up

Being? The Cosmic Tree, elongated, has ariel roots
They uplift me to the opposite of cosmos

Where dream becomes reality and time twists
I am back to my pre-primary body at my current age

Riding a giant pelican, or swimming
In the form of a jelly fish, or casting a spell on a willow tree

And always getting lost in the maze of tiles
Being touched by unwanted hands

— the sound of a belt on my flesh, shrieking
— and the sound of rubber slippers, approaching

My father’s body reeks of alcohol
His mother is hit by a car the moment she has

Her psychotic epiphany
But I am seeing her on a tram to Coburg

And yet I am sitting in my mother’s BMW
Vowing to leave her and never come back

I am five, I am ten, I am twenty
I am in China, I am in Australia

“Never forget your roots!”, my mother says
But she doesn’t know that trees migrate, too


The Cosmic Tree is done with me
I am back on the street

Still sitting, no longer feeling tipsy
But feeling utterly feral, utterly lonely

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