If the black box is the only thing that survives a plane
crash then why dont they make the whole plane out
of it, I asked. Its made of lead, you said, a lead plane
is too heavy to fly. And that was that.
There are benefits to being a pilots wife, you know. You understand
what torque is and why San Francisco is always so cold for California.
But it makes you pray. Takes away your capacity for disaster films.
Makes you recite the oxygen mask instructions like yoga chants. (If
traveling with a small child, put your mask on first)
Parachute jumpers say that the more you jump, the more your risk increases. You
dont get any better as a jumper, your number simply comes up one day. The more
you jump the faster it comes. I thought about that every time you left and kissed us
all goodbye in the same order as if it was a lucky charm: dog, daughter, wife.
When I was called on Sunday night, it didnt feel like I thought it would. Didnt feel like
or having something drag heavily on me. It felt like someone came to take my bones away
and pulled them out one by one. Impossible to stand, impossible to sit, I rolled and pitched
uncontrollably like a ship on death waves.
I was at the crash site when they recovered the black box. I saw them put it in
the truck. I saw them close the door. I saw them walk away. I saw them talk
to women in trench coats with microphones. I saw them turn away from me.
The damn things are heavy. Well of course they are. Theyre
lead. You can wrap it in a coat. You can carry it like a baby.
You can run to your car and drive panting, heart beating
too loudly in your ears to hear sirens as you disappear.
now I sleep
I wrap my white arms around the
black box where you live now and
listen to you talk to me all night.
- 104: KINwith E Shiosaki 103: AMBLEwith E Gomez and S Gory 102: GAMEwith R Green and J Maxwell 101: NO THEME 10with J Kinsella and J Leanne 100: BROWNFACE with W S Dunn 99: SINGAPOREwith J Ip and A Pang 97 & 98: PROPAGANDAwith M Breeze and S Groth 96: NO THEME IXwith M Gill and J Thayil 95: EARTHwith M Takolander 94: BAYTwith Z Hashem Beck 93: PEACHwith L Van, G Mouratidis, L Toong 92: NO THEME VIIIwith C Gaskin 91: MONSTERwith N Curnow 90: AFRICAN DIASPORAwith S Umar 89: DOMESTICwith N Harkin 88: TRANSQUEERwith S Barnes and Q Eades 87: DIFFICULTwith O Schwartz & H Isemonger 86: NO THEME VIIwith L Gorton 85: PHILIPPINESwith Mookie L and S Lua 84: SUBURBIAwith L Brown and N O'Reilly 83: MATHEMATICSwith F Hile 82: LANDwith J Stuart and J Gibian 81: NEW CARIBBEANwith V Lucien 80: NO THEME VIwith J Beveridge 57.1: EKPHRASTICwith C Atherton and P Hetherington 57: CONFESSIONwith K Glastonbury 56: EXPLODE with D Disney 55.1: DALIT / INDIGENOUSwith M Chakraborty and K MacCarter 55: FUTURE MACHINES with Bella Li 54: NO THEME V with F Wright and O Sakr 53.0: THE END with P Brown 52.0: TOIL with C Jenkins 51.1: UMAMI with L Davies and Lifted Brow 51.0: TRANSTASMAN with B Cassidy 50.0: NO THEME IV with J Tranter 49.1: A BRITISH / IRISH with M Hall and S Seita 49.0: OBSOLETE with T Ryan 48.1: CANADA with K MacCarter and S Rhodes 48.0: CONSTRAINT with C Wakeling 47.0: COLLABORATION with L Armand and H Lambert 46.1: MELBOURNE with M Farrell 46.0: NO THEME III with F Plunkett 45.0: SILENCE with J Owen 44.0: GONDWANALAND with D Motion 43.1: PUMPKIN with K MacCarter 43.0: MASQUE with A Vickery 42.0: NO THEME II with G Ryan 41.1: RATBAGGERY with D Hose 41.0: TRANSPACIFIC with J Rowe and M Nardone 40.1: INDONESIA with K MacCarter 40.0: INTERLOCUTOR with L Hart 39.1: GIBBERBIRD with S Gory 39.0: JACKPOT! with S Wagan Watson 38.0: SYDNEY with A Lorange 37.1: NEBRASKA with S Whalen 37.0: NO THEME! with A Wearne 36.0: ELECTRONICA with J Jones